And You Thought There Weren’t That Many Stupid People

Tags

racist hate, teaparty nuts, the crazies

It can send chills down your spine just thinking about it.

I bet you had no idea before the Inter-Tubes were invented that there were THAT many stupid people in the world, and a great huge hunk of ’em live in the good ole US of A.

I mean if we are so dang special as the Righties insist with our X-CEP-TUAL-ISM, and it’s all God-given as the last best chance for humanity and all, why it seems that God would not allow that many stupid people to reside on the golden waves of grain and all that purplely majesty, noh?

Well, as I said, we lived in a our naivete until the danged old Internet showed us that there was just a lot more of them fools than we thought. Before it, one might run across only one village idiot in a lifetime. No more.

Nothing has brought forth the dancing dunces more than our current President, who happens to be both smart, and accomplished as well as exceptionally thick-skinned. The marching morons seek excuses for how a Black man (half-black as they so often point out) can be any of that stuff, so they have spent the last six years or so sweating the small stuff, attempting to uncover that he is a savant in disguise and is really a walking-talking Ken doll with some Russian/Kenyan/Marxist/Jihadist Svengali operating the levers and pulling the strings.

Two wildly unimportant in incidents occurred in the last could of days that goes to show just how ground-slitheringly anphibian these “people” really are.

The first one involves the President giving a speech somewhere, and making a joke about getting back to Chicago and his house, and finding on his desk a fair amount of old mail, including some old bills. As is apparently common, a transcript of the speech is released, and some fart-head noticed that the “old bills” phrase was omitted. The White House explained that it was just a transcription error.

But the whacked out world of conspiracy theory gunned up the motor and went full bore.

At Blaze we found these comments:

Boompa2 writes: Spyder-News Alert–It was just reported that an Operative from Citizens United, posing as a TV repair Man, infiltrated the Obummer residence. While in Barry’s office, the Operative found the stack of unpaid bills. At the top was an envelope titled “Pay Per View”-Past Due. A movie titled “Chicks With Richards{inset nickname}” was viewed 666 times @ $14.99. No wonder the joke was left out. Oh yeah, catch the 666? Boompa went boompa on his head I bet, and now sees double. Where is Boopa1? Check the cellar or the freezer.

pa-native interjects:

We all need to check our “white privilege” before judging Obolas statements…

You see, slavery existed by a bunch of dead guys years ago, many of which NONE of us are related to in any way…but we need to keep paying reparations to all the “victim classes” out there for a better America…

sarcasm of course…I know my family immigrated here LEGALLY in 1920, assimilated, loves America and has been Patriots since we hit Ellis island, where we were screened for disease, lice, infection etc etc… Gosh its good to know your lineage, right stupid idiot. Good Obola, Obama…but thanks for the history lesson…”slavery existed by a bunch of dead guys years ago, [many?] of which NONE of us are related to in any way….” Gosh prose like that warms my heart.

You might think the WSJ would attract a better class of people. You would be wrong.

five01c3 complains: So if Obama lived in Detroit, his water would have been turned off ages ago. Gotcha. Air Jordans and flip phones are way more important than water, anyway. Do I sense just a tad of racism in their five? Mixing all those lies into one bundle makes it efficient I guess.

Alone explains:

I don’t know why anyone would be surprised at this remark “unpaid bills” what would you expect from a welfare baby!

Has anyone ever noticed how the left is only concerned with itself. There doesn’t seem to be any concern for those of us that pay for them. That would e a right pithy argument dear singular idiot, if only the RED states weren’t the biggest eaters of the free pie. Facts are such damnable things aren’t they?

Right after this little “major event”, we get of course the amusing and rather endearing episode of our President being teased by a young man. The fellow, knowing his girlfriend is all kinds of nervous about voting next to the President of the USA, walks by and says, “Mr. President, don’t touch my girlfriend.”

The President ad-libs a few lines, the lady giggles in embarrassment, and when later interviewed they both seem like the nicest of people.

Everyone who saw it thought it cute and playful, handled superbly by the President.

Well, not quite everyone.

Ya see the nut jobs over at World Net Daily have a different take.

vettelover advises: Pretty sure Barry does not like girls. Yes we know, you and your ilk of whack-job believe the President is gay, that Michelle is a guy in drag and the kids belong to somebody else. Next weeks meeting of the first class morons meets at eleventy o-clock under neath the McD’s sign on NOBODY COULD BE THIS STUPID AVENUE.

You waves frantically: ObaMao is quite the embarrassment to the People of the United States of America!!! His tyrannical reign is coming to an end. Can I get an Amen!!! So he’s Chinese? Wow, that explains everything. Thanks for the info YOU FOOL.

tuffone3 wonders: If a white man said the same thing to the president, would the president have called him a brother? He is half white, after all. And why exactly are you so obsessed with his parents ethnic background again? Do not, I repeat, do not get a DNA test. You will not like the results, I am fairly sure of that.

Moga Moa has the answers:

He better worry about Obama trying to feel him up

I suspect this planned photo op was a pushback against blacks suspicion he’s a pervert homosexual. Ya know what they say, them that crows pervert the loudest are usually stinkin’ terrified that they are PERVERTS themselves. Just sayin’

I mean seriously people. I’d just hate to be a Republican and know that these are my peeps. They walk into voting booths across America and vote for the same jerks you do. I mean does it make your skin crawl? Or perhaps it gives you a big warm fuzzy. Crazy is as crazy does.

** all the above are actual comments from these publications.

Armaggedon Bound

Tags

Glenn Beck's crazies, Humor, Tea party nuts, teabaggers, teabibbers, TeaBirchers

Glad you all found out the new location. Thelma and BillyJohn are still recovering from their little adventure. When that Farah guy over at WorldNetDaily signaled that the war was about to commence, well Thelma and BillyJohn headed over to their bunker to make ready.

They was just headin’ back from the truck with a load of water jugs when Henry’s still blew sky high. Course they both thought it was a military strike and dropped everything, hit the bunker, and slammed the door. Was easy enough given all that for BillyJohn to forget that the keys were still in the truck.

So him and Thelma was locked in for two days before Henry came back in there to check the still, and found what had happened. Well, he say BillyJohn and Thelma’s truck, and after working on repairing the still for a good couple hours, finally heard them pounding on the door to the bunker. He got the keys and let ’em out. Boy was they a sorry mess.

But for all that, it did uncover a design flaw in the bunker. BillyJohn says Thelma sent him direct to the survival store and ordered them up two big ole port-a-potties. Henry said that the smell dang near knocked him down when he opened the door. Thelma is still taken to her bed and claiming she may never get that smell out of her again. BillyJohn is sleepin’ in the truck until she cools down.

Anyway, Ted Cruz fought the good fight didn’t he? So, let’s call this meeting to order of the Mason County Patriots Tea Party Division A.

So what y’all think of them goin’ ons in Washington?

Cosmos 102 says: Historically, third parties didn’t work. This next election is too important to risk it. Better to drain the swamp of Republican elitists and create a new party from within. Much the same way Obama has been remaking America from within. We can do this. If Libertarians and Conservatives team up, there will be more of us than there are of them. Ya might want to do that math again there Cosmos. I don’t think that adding the two together amounts to as much as you think. And exactly how has the President been “remaking America from within?” Any examples there guy? Or is that like mixing chocolate syrup in white milk that you are meaning?

Joshundead1 says: Health insurance already belongs to private companies in a competitive market. He is changing that and putting it in the hands of the government, which has failed at every thing it has touched. And the real freeloads those who stay on government assistance will be given insurance whether they can pay for it or not, because the rest of us will be forced to pay for it. Socialized medicine has never and will never be successful. Everything it’s touched? It seems it’s touched the military a lot Josh, and gosh, don’t you guys think the US military is the greatest on earth? Do you like the roads you drive on? Do you feel pretty safe eating food you buy? Is the Hoover Dam still operating okay? Did we land on Mars several times and on the Moon? So what is your solution to sick people who don’t have insurance? Do you prefer to pay for their “emergency treatment” or just kick them to the gutter to die? As to socialized medicine–Canadians and Brits seem fairly healthy? Ever checked out MOST OF FREAKIN’ EUROPE?  

TreeTeacher says: Why the Well Not,Most of the GOP are now gut less, for the ones with Hotspa to go to a New or just another Party is a good thing, Thins out the Hurd. The TEA Party was a Great start but was Highjacked by the GOP. This could work, Ah Constitution Party you say. I’ll look for them Well, I can see why they have you teaching trees my friend, cuz you are a whole bag of stupid aren’t you? Is Hotspa supposed to be chutzpah? You just continue “lookin’ for them” and we’ll see you in a few years.

Joshundead1 says: Im sorry but not everyone NEEDS health insurance and it is most defiantly not a right. Rights don’t infringe on others. Insurance is a company in which you pay money for them to cover you in case you get hurt. They will take you and if you get injured or something goes wrong they use their money to foot most of the bill letting you pay a minimum. They provide a service and as far as I can tell any company that provides a service should get paid. Do you not get paid for going to work? So lets look at car insurance. If you have tickets and wrecks on your background they can either not accept you or charge you lots of money. SO why should it be different for health insurance? If you have a preexisting condition costing them more than they will make why shouldn’t they have the right to turn you away? Do you specialize in teaching Tree Teacher how to teach trees? Nobody needs health insurance until, duh, they need it. And saying definitely doesn’t make it definitely Not a right.If you shoot me (2nd Amendment right) do I not bleed (infringe on me?) So you think that your choice to drive badly is equal to your not choice to get cancer? I am assuming that you missed all the classes on logic at your school? I’m guessin’ that you might not have even matriculated through the 12th grade huh Josh?

Rosemary Woodhouse says: Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, Rand Paul, Allen West, Michelle Bachman, Herman Cain, Jeff Sessions, Ben Carson, Sarah Palin and others were to do this en masse that would send a HUGE message and true conservatives would follow suit. The cannot hang onto a party that is going the way of the Whigs hoping things are going to change. The Republicans who represent us AND are conservative are the minority. THEY MUST LEAD THE WAY OUT! Yep it would send a message all right Rosemary, that the nuts are all together and the net can capture them all at once.Did you read what you wrote dear? The last sentence? Do you know the meaning of MINORITY? You got that party right. You are in the minority and while you may speak, you don’t necessarily get to rule. That’s sorta how majority rules work hon. Sorta.

Adronicus.Americanus says: If it were not for Senator Cruz, the Second Amendment would have been repealed and the DHS would still be gunning down Mr. and Mrs. America at this very minute.
Senator Cruz is a congressional hero because he keeps his word to his constituents.
His latest attempt to sustain our economy in the Defund Obamacare movement will be acknowledged in the 2014 election by more than conservatives but also democrats and independents. Boy when you like a guy you kinda rewrite history don’t you? Cruz prevented the repeal of the Second Amendment huh? AA do you have ANY idea how you repeal a constitutional amendment? I mean just any? And just a hint there AA. . . .Cruz kept his word to himself: increase my name recognition, increase my campaign coffers, and establish a bigger and longer campaign donor list. I’m sure you’ll be hearin’ from him soon AA–can ya spare a dime?

Mrsstirfry99 says:

it makes me happy knowing that Harry will be judged by a Righteous Judge.

I’m tending to agree with Glenn more and more, Harry is senile. Wow lady, to know God’s mind AND to agree with Glenn Beck? Now that may be a symbiosis that has never been contemplated before. I take it you got the name stirfry from recognizing what is going on in your head?

media-bias-steals-elections says: the conspiracy of silence, surrounding the activities of King Clinton, are on the tips of our tongues?

United we stand, against Lady GaGa haters, and all haters in general?

King Clinton can not use Rush Limbaugh as the tip of the spear, or the human shield of his media empire that Glenn Beck is teaching you how to fight?

Mr. Reid, we might suggest that football players that participate in the conspiracy of silence, who refuse to tackle the issues your political party present, is not a joking matter?

The billions you have cost the economy, and the hardship, is not something we can hope goes away for more than an hour if we watch an entertainment event? It requires we take your jokes, and make better ones? You have a fascination with question marks doncha? Methinks you spend too much time with that bottle of Jack Daniels under the bed. I bet you like conspiracy theories, mostly because they make about as much sense as you do, which is mostly none. Still back in the Clinton years aren’t ya?

socratessocrates says:

If anyone tries mob/thug tactics at Senator Cruz, his family or his home, I will be there fighting with Senator Cruz against [all enemies].

Liberal pieces of crap wanna play? Let the games begin. Seriously, you have no idea who Socrates was do you? Not a dang clue.

Patty Henry says: EVERYTHING YOU SEE AND HEAR IS COMING FROM a totally PANICKED Administration!!
Cruz landed body blows not only to this Corrupt, horrid Administration who has NO EXCUSE but their insatiable greed and ambition but also to the corrupt and horrid GOP creeps like John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, Kelly Ayotte …. I mean really think about this folks: IF CRUZ was so ineffective; was such a loser; and did not COUNT in the world of POLITICS…we would not have heard his name after his 21 hours. CRUZ slaughtered them in the name of PATRIOTISM and FREEDOM, AMERICA and the CONSTITUTION…
It’s been a long, long time since ONE individual was able to knock them all down at once…a Bowling Strike that struck fear in all the little CRONIES in DC Politics and beyond.
In ONE 21 Hour period, this man became the most powerful, influential single voice in America. Karl Rove knew it…you all saw Rove the day after.. filled with admiration over Cruz’s STRAIGHT TALK.
NOW these dolts are all scrambling like the little whiners they are trying swat Cruz down…from all sides.
ONE man/One Night called out: THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES…. and ALL the people heard him….and ‘all the kings horses and all the king’s men will not be able to put Obama back together again’ no threat, no bribe, no power can stop THE TRUTH. TED CRUZ spoke the TRUTH and what should really scare them even more : THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE BEHIND HIM. HALLELUJAH !! Ephesians 6: 10-18 TED!! I bet you think you are the female version of Patrick Henry doncha? Oh, if only typing it made it so. Do you use medications to continue living in that bubble where up is down, right is left, and you are inside not outside?

Alas, my friends, enough of the fun. The time locks on all these cells is set to lock ’em up until next time. Thanks for visiting the zoo known as Glenn Beck’s nincompoops brought to you straight from the pages of The Blaze, the little online hell hole where you too can pretend that your opinion matters. To the barricades my tea party patriots, to the barricades. They are coming to take you awayyyyyy!

Sitting Around the Trailer

Tags

Beck's Nincompoops, Humor, satire

Hey, girl, it’s Jaylene here, in the park. Grab yourself a Bud and come on in. We figure to have us our weekly meeting of the Tickled Pink Rebel Trailer Park TEA-BIRCH Or-gan-i-za-shun.

So get your shitkickers on in here, and mind that door, the hinge is broke.

This meetin’ will be comin’ to order. All present raise a bottle:

JimmySnot: HERE!

Brandilicious: HERE HONEY.

BobbiHung: YO BYOTCH.

Hey Bobbi, watch that mouth or I’ll pull them balls up around your ears and pierce ’em for ya.

Glendyne: I’M HERE, THOUGH LORD KNOWS I SHOULDN’T BE. THAT CHILD WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME YET.

HairyJack: YUP.

Okay, that is ever’body I do believe.

So, what ya got to say about that Prez of theirs? Talkin’ all that “I’m TRAy-vaaaan” shit? I mean did that Blessed Man, Ronnie Raygon, ever liken hisself to a damn gang member? Can ya beat that? What ya all gots to say?

As always the ghost of truth hovers in the trailer, offering sage wisdom.

From the ProgressiveSlayer:

The only racism that exists in AmeriKa today is this regimes war on whites, the regime has proven their racism from day one. I still want Zimmerman to get the presidential medal of freedom for his efforts to reduce crime. Yes PS, the lot of white folks is so terribly much worse than it was in 2008 when the beloved compassionate one was sending your sons and daughters off to death in Iraq. So much better when we were just facing the near destruction of the entire economy by a bunch of very rich and very white dudes on Wall Street. Yes, I can see how the murder of a young black kid sure helps reduce crime. Maybe Mr. Zimmerman can help rid us of the crime that purports to be your mind.

Grimster adds:

The difference between we the people here, and the idiots in Egypt, we throw lead, not rocks……odumbass will incite a riot, so he can declare martial law and put his civilian army (dhs) the guard, and UN troops on the streets of America, but he has one problem, not one active military personal I know will follow his orders to do so, and this includes officers…..He needs to remember, sometimes you get what you wish for….. Dude, doncha remember that the declaration of martial law was supposed to start right after the election, then it was the suspension of all further elections, the imposition of Sharia law, and then all the little white chillun’ was to be transported to FEMA reindoctrination camps. Keep your paranoia in order will ya. And remember the shiny side of the foil is to be kept on the outside.

Chief George opines:

He is not helping our children, only those who look like him while eventually sending ours to the back of the bus. In 10-20 years from now, White Americans will find themselves a stranger in their own country. It is being taken over racially speaking and those taking over are systematically being transformed themselves into good little socialists by the new breed of racial politicians. It will not end well. Um, Chief, isn’t that a bit of a conundrum, being a RED person and all. You are a Native person right, being Chief? or is that some other kind of chief such as Chief of Bein’ Scared that Whites are soon to be A Minority? So, it sounds like you’ve seen the FEMA camps? Good to know that the White brains are immune to being transformed unlike the brains of color. You’re going to just love being a minority. I can’t wait.

The Jerk weighs in:

Ron Goldman could have been me. Nicole Brown could have been my sister. Should we live in a nation that does not value the lives of white men and white women? Where were their civil rights? Where was their justice? Where was the DOJ, the FBI? Where were all of those black race baiters?

Blacks… you decide. But I thought you said before that the jury spoke, and that all these African-Americans shouldn’t be protesting because the jury didn’t find that Mr. Zimmerman was in the wrong? Didn’t the jury speak in the Simpson trial? I guess it just depends as far as you can tell on whose race is on the winning side. You don’t know where white people’s civil rights are? Oh…let me introduce you to the Constitution of the United States of America. It was written expressly for you, did you forget?

JJoy pipes in:

@LEADNOTFOLLOW ““Obama was elected BECAUSE he is black”, is so right.
In my opinion, he got elected via white man guilt and voter fraud.”

Don’t forget the 30+ millions of illegal mexican invaders that were allowed to stuff the ballot boxes with illegal votes for obama… Why my lawdy, there is so much white guilt around I am gonna drown! And voter fraud, yikes, don’t forget that ghost of wispy nothingness. I guess you are unaware that there WAS NONE, and nobody can find more than 10 examples over 10 years across the ENTIRE country. But I do take umbrage at “illegal mexican invaders”. Isn’t that a tad pejorative? I mean you wouldn’t want to be accused of racism now would you? And aren’t your figures just a bit wild? I mean since it’s not anywhere near 30, or even half of that, I wonder what the + is? is that the number you personally have witnessed “invading”?

The Squirrel murmurs:

TED / TED 2016.

Cruz / Nugent Oh now that is rich ain’t it. I kinda bet you guys aren’t gonna even say a peep about Ted’s parentage or where he was born as having a darn thing to do with his eligibility will ya? And the Nug? Oh heavens. Squirrelly, you know your choice of nomenclature is psychologically most telling they say. Mouth full of nuts? House full of nuts? Hiding nuts? Eating nuts? Being obsessed with nuts? Beginning to sound at all familiar?

Victor 991 whispers:

Since the verdict and all the craziness since, I’ve noticed that the Black citizens I’ve encountered so far are not making eye contact, but are keeping their heads down, avoiding any possible interaction. I’m speaking about ordinary, everyday people, who, before this nasty mess, were going about their lives normally. I haven’t met up with angry mobs, but in stores, restaurants, and various other places I’ve been to, the reaction is the same. Uh Victor, it might have something to do with your t-shirt dude. “I Stand My Ground with My Little Friend Smith and his friend Wesson” kinda would make any sane person look away. Since you were going about your black-free world living “normally” (whatever weirdness that might be for you), I doubt you had a clue how African-Americans were living their lives.  And what is your issue with saying African-American?

Put-God-First Sermonized:

You know everything that Obama said happen to him in his speech, I had happen to me too. When I was young I would cross the street and hear people lock their doors on their cars. I would get in a elevator and older women would grab their puse tight. I would get pulled over by the police just for driving in a nice neighborhood. I have been pulled over and my car searched for no reason. And all the other things he said that happen to him too. That is all but one, I never was black or a minority. Obama If you don’t want to be treated like a punk, thug, thief or low life, don’t act like one, or dress like one. Trayvon God bless your soul! George God bless you too. As long as people on both side keep making race an issue there will always be racist on both sides. Start working to make peace not hatred. As long as you continue to believe everything bad that happens is because of racial hatred, then there will be resentment for it. Remember It happen to me too. So you are saying that people profiled you because you were actually DOING what they were afraid of? Dang and I was sure it was the dildo strapped to your forehead that was causing it. My bad.

Okay TeaBirchers, time to vote: all in favor of impeachin’ the half-black man in the White House say “ANOTHER BUD!”

The Buds have it. Meeting adjourned.

** All comments are from real people who said this shit on Blaze.

“BobbiHung”

If You Find Yourself Turning East to Pray, It Might be the Turkey

Tags

Beck's Nincompoops, Butterball, Humor, Islam, Islamophobia, satire, The Blaze, turkeys

In the ongoing contest to be the craziest person/group/country, Americans continue to excel.

This week, a tiny minutia of human DNA (slightly below the Neandertal level of intellectual proclivity), rose to the occasion and outdid themselves in proving that, once again, nobody puts the US in a corner when it comes to sheer batfooking insanity.

Case in point.

Somebody, for some reason, called Butterball company and asked them whether the tasty birdies they offer to us each holiday season, were Halal certified. Like Kosher certified, Halal certification simply means that the slaughter occurred in a manner compliant with religious practices.

Butterball’s answer was that indeed all whole bird turkeys are killed in an Islamically acceptable fashion, though no prayers (a part of the actual certification) are done. Similarly, no prayers are done for Kosher certification either (a rabbi must come in to do that). Butterball claims that various ethnic distributors may complete the requirements as they wish.

It should be noted that I have also read at least that the manner of killing Kosher and Halal  is exactly the same.

But of course,  facts stand in the way of hysteria with our band of nuts across America. They prefer to deal in rumor, innuendo, ad hominem ethnic hatred and vile humor. No less a certifiable wingnut that Pamela Geller is all up in craziness about this. My God, Islam is literally trying to “stuff their religion down our throats.” That’s not a quote by her, but gosh it seemed too good to not use.

The Blaze nincompoops were out in force. One can almost see them flapping their arms and racing up and down sidewalks yelling for everyone to throw out their birds, throw out your birds.

Can you just feel the love?

Doug Corrigan

Hate is a good thing. It helps you defeat your enemies. We need more ‘hate’ in America, and we need a whole lot less Pollyannaish, Goody-Two-Shoes idiocy regarding that putrid cult of murder, invented by a ‘hate’ filled camel-wacker named moohammad — that cult would, of course, be called islam.

Yes Doug, you have more than enough for all of us. Now recite the 1st Amendment again, and explain how it doesn’t apply to anyone you hate.

Taquoshi

Unfortunately, many of our don’t have that option. However, I have every intention of putting my hands on our non-Butterball turkey and praying to Lord Jesus Christ to remove any taint of any kind of ritualic prayer to idols that may have occurred. And you can bet that I’ll be praying over our other meat from now on, too!!

Allah is not an idol Sasquatch. It’s another name for God. But do us all a favor, pray non-stop, don’t even stop long enough to eat.

GetOurCountryBack

Just one more way these b*stards are creeping into our society and trying to get their agenda forced on us. As an American I don’t give a flying flip if they can find food that is okay for them to eat. Better yet, lets put a bill out that forbids this and force them to get the he!! out.

They aren’t creeping GOCB, they are coming right down your esophagus now. As a moron, you aren’t expected to know that we can’t “put a bill out”. I thought you airheads were against regulations against business?

AB5R

For Christians it is not acceptable to eat foods offered to idols. In this case the Islamic prayer to Allah (in the bible he is known as Satan) makes halal food something that has been offered as a sacrifice to an idol, a particularly evil one in this case.

I would agree that if Satan is Allah, he would be a “particularly evil” idol. But he’s not, and you’re stupid. You are exactly the reason why internet access is NOT an acceptable therapy in the Head Hospital. Stick to legos please.

MikeM1969

I don’t eat butterball, and now I never will. One step closer to sharia compliance. I will die before I comply.

Easy to say when you don’t eat it anyway hey Mike? And as to that last part, we can but wish.

Loafer4952

Well I know I won’t be buying anymore turkeys or anything that butterball has to do with it. We usually by several turkeys thru out the year. This is America and we need to be americans. It is ok to believe in your religon but when you come to America you do as Americans do. If you don’t like the way we do something then go back where you came from I am sure they will do it your way.

That’s right, and so we will have no more of that Kosher stuff any more either right? America was not settled by Jews for goodness sakes, but good old Christian Protestants. And the damn Catholics better stop saying prayers over wine and bread too. You are onto something Loafer. Or is it just your brain that loafs?

Nobama201258

 

We have bigger fish to fry people,how bout those PETA nutjobs wanting us to eat tofu instead of turkey ?

Yeah, I got my shotgun at the ready Nobama. I was thinkin’ of staking out the tofu shelf at Wal-Mart and pickin’ up those stealth buyers and then follow them home and picket their houses. The UNAMERICANness of it!

Zombee

Barack Hussein Obama (aka. The Impostor) doesn’t care whether or not you know if the food you buy is Islam-approved inhumanely Halal slaughtered! But he sure cared about whether his fellow Muslims in his home state of Illinois knew it when he served in the Illinois State Senate and sponsored the ‘Halal Food Act’ in 2001.

Now how did I know that one of your creepin’ crazies would bring the President into this. And congrats Zom, you have one fine hate blog. No advertising here though, keep your hatred at home.

Tri-OX

Catering to terrorists certainly isn’t good for the Butterball brand image.

So, triple OX (you guys self-identify so exquisitely), all Muslims are terrorists? Is that your belief? Well we are in a world of trouble if that is the case. Go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. You fail basic common sense.

And so we depart. Please don’t scare the zoo animals here. They are precious to us since they remind us that we actually are superbly sane by comparison. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving and enjoyed your turkeys. We alas had duck, which was excellent, by the way. And stay away from those malls!

PS: If you see smoke on the horizon, not to worry. It’s just your local trailer park having a turkey burning bonfire. All hail to Ed and the crew at the Daisy Chain Tea Party Club Trailer Park, now at an all-time attendance level of SIX.

 

Related articles

• Clean Up, Meat Aisle: Talking Heads Exploding over Halal Butterballs (atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com)
• Is Your Turkey a Secret Muslim Sharia Jihadi Al Qaeda Operative????????? (passthedoucheys.com)
• Muslim turkeys are invading America, religious right warns (seriously) (americablog.com)
• The Latest Threat To America: The Sharia Turkey (outsidethebeltway.com)
• Invasion of the Butterballah (brobrubel.wordpress.com)

Libya. . .Libya. . .”Hey, Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off”

Tags

Beck's Nincompoops, Election 2012, GOP, Herman Cain, tea baggers, The Blaze

Aww, nuts. The great white, black, mocha-lite hope seems to be dropping like a Perry.

We are about to “turn, turn, turn, turn” to a new season, turn, turn, turn.

My man, Herm, has gone and done it once again.

The question was quite simple. SO SIMPLE A 5TH GRADER COULD MAKE A GOOD GUESS.

Alas, not our Pizza man.

The question:

“Do you agree with the manner in which the President handled Libya?”

The answer?

“Libya. . . .Libya.” *squirm for a minute. “The president. . . .supported the uprising, right? Just wanna make sure we are talking about the same thing!” “squirm for a minute. “Libya, Qaddafi, right?” “I support the outcome, but not the way the President handled it.”

Whew, he figured he dodged that bullet. But then he went on.

“The reasons  he handled it wrong are: *pause and squirm some more*, oh that was a different one. I got so much swirling around in my mind.”

Would you like pepperoni or sausage?

When confronted with reporters later and asked to explain his failure to remember Libya, the former candidate grinned from ear to ear, and enunciated for all the world to hear: “9-9-9!” and stalked off.

In case you think I’m making this up, here is a transcript of the main portion, after the minute long squirm as he fought to locate Libya on the map of his pizza-sodden mind:

OK, Libya. [Pause] President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Khaddhafy. I just wanted to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘Yes, I agreed’ or ‘No I didn’t agree.’ I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — nope, that’s a different one. [pause] I gotta go back and see. I got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me that I agree or not disagree with Obama?

Well, Herm is falling apart, and the lucky recipient is this month’s “New” Not Romney. Wait for it. NEWT!

Yes the Grifter is racing up the pile of bodies strewn along the road in a desperate attempt to be NNR (Newt NOT Romney).

Herm has been offered a life-time contract with SNL.

Meanwhile the Grio weighs in on the issue of how conservatives, both white and black, now engage in a game of “are you black enough“, reintroducing an a new edgy racism into the game. In case you didn’t know, Obama ain’t nearly black enough to count.  

I cannot say how lovely it is to contemplate that Newt is the new and rising savior. Rick Santorum can only be celebrating at this point, assured that come December his turn will come.

♦

Well, I just had to pop over to the Blaze to see what the nincompoops had to say:

BlueGoldNationDotCom:

He nailed the answer. So he stumbles at the beginning, IT IS FOR A NEWSPAPER. Why does a person have to have an answer in 15 seconds? Allow the man time to gather his thoughts. Once he did he nailed it.

I question the Blaze’s headline and the reasoning behind the wording….again

Don’t be late for your English language class now bud. Today’s word is REALITY, as in what one have you invented today?

SomeRandomPerson

Oh geez!!! This happens to everyone at one point or another. It’s called a “brain fart”.

And I randomly nominate you as having no brain to fart. See above for reality check.

Wayner

Dear Blaze, No matter how much you discreetly try to undermine Herman Cain,,, I’m not letting you influence my choice for president…. I realize you want to push the RHINO Romney,,, but I don’t like him nor do I trust him….. I’ll make my own decision thank you.

Bad Blaze, Bad, Bad. Wayner’s choice will be determined by throwing dem bones like all his decisions are!

Bought Your Silo Yet?

But, I have seen Herman Cain in the hot seat several times where he has done remarkably well. He is always very quick with a relative and thoughtful response. If he wasn’t so quick here it just tells me that he is the real deal. He is human and genuine.

Yeah, he has no clue so that makes him genuine? Genuinely incompetent. Tell, me do you look for the same type of doctor?

Mil-Dot

All Cain had to say was “that it was none of our business” and kept on that theme, but NOOOO. He had to somehow attempt to justify us poking our noses in it. Now he looks like an idiot.

I am of the firm opinion that every candidate should just say no. How much more interesting to vote in a vacuum. But there is always one of those upstairs in your brain case right Mil?

Bitter.Clinger

Gotta love the “journalists” who are more concerned about defending Obama and trying to entrap Cain than reporting on THE TRUTH. Journalists always claim to be asking “tough questions”…welll, “tough questions” are far different than asking questions with the intent of entrapping or tripping up someone on purpose. I’m no journalist, but I could ask far tougher questions than these clowns without trying to entrap the person I’m interviewing. The President of the United States has a Cabinet for a reason…if he ignores the input from his Cabinet (like Obama) he starts acting like a unilateral dictator (like Obama). Would you rather have a President who doesn’t listen to his Cabinet or We The People or one who does – Hmmmm? ROCK ON HERMAN CAIN!

Justin Bieber for President. After all, he don’t need to know a thing. That’s what a cabinet is for. What is so “entrapping” about “do you agree with the way the President handled Libya?”

ThePatriotDave

Considering that Cain is our best chance at defeating Obama I will get off this site and go and donate more to his campaign tonight.
You either want Obama gone or you don’t. If we elect Cain as our nominee, then Obama is out. With all of the other candidates it’s a crap-shoot.

And getting rid of Obama is really what it’s all about huh Dave. Forget the country, Mr. Patriot. Oh, I am all for what you are for. Please do make him the candidate!

Related articles

• Cain On Libya: “I Got All This Stuff Swirling Around In My Head” (alan.com)
• Herman Cain stumbles badly on Libya question – CBS News (cbsnews.com)
• The 9-9-9 Foreign Policy Plan? (johd1.wordpress.com)
• TRENDING: Cain stumbles over Libya (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
• Herman Cain Stumbles On Libya Questions (VIDEO) (kaystreet.wordpress.com)
• Herman Cain Perplexed When Asked About Libya: VIDEO (towleroad.com)

God Says TeaBaggers are Racists!

Tags

Blaze Nincompoops, Humor, satire

Listen Up! Let the Sunshine Trailer Park Tea Party meetin’ come to order!

Let’s have a big thanks to Thelma for offerin’ up her place for the meetin’. She’s got the only double-wide among us, and we are growing big folks. I could seven here today. Ain’t that sumthin’?

Anyways, we are here to discuss that interview given by Morgan Freeman, sayin’ that us Tea Party folk are a bunch of racists.

“Who’s Morgan Freeman?”

“Oh he was that nice actor who played in Driving Miss Daisy, remember? I thought he did a good job.”

“Well, a roll like that came pretty darn natural to him I suspect.”

“Hey he played God in Bruce Almighty! That was funny.”

“That was a comedy for heaven’s sake. That was part of the joke you idiot. Him being God. Ever heard of anything that dumb? That Michael Anjello painted a pitcher of God on that ceiling where the Pope lives. Now I don’t truck much with those Catholics, but I figure that Pope feller knows what God looks like!”

“Okay, okay, calm down everybody. Verna is passing out copies of the article in Blaze. Everybody take a read, and for those who can’t George will read it to ya in the back. Then we can discuss it.

Thelma says there are some cocktail weenies and Ritz crackers and good old American cheese in the kitchen if ya need a snack.

~

(**What follows are true remarks from real people who posted comments about the article–lest any more morons drop by and be unable to understand the concepts of parody and satire.)

THE10THAMENDMENT

• Freeman used to be my favorite actor. Now he‘s become the same trash that Hollywood bimbo’s seem to always become. Sad. I just threw Independence Day in the trash where it belongs.
• Had to do a quick change and save Independence Day, and toss Deep Impact
• Yes moron, get your movies right. I guess when you get down to it, they do all look pretty much alike.

THOMAS

• Why is it that blacks are only for blacks? Who would have ever thought that Morgan Freedman was a racist? When will we begin to shun black racism and make it a bad thing? Its time. Morgan I will never watch your movies again for the simply reason that you cannot see beyond your skin color.
• Um, do you see anything racist in what you just said? Blacks are only for blacks? And while you are at it, try looking up the world racism, and you might discover that there is no such thing as black “racism”

MIBUGNU2

• Who decided that 1 white mother + 1 black father = 1 black person I would say he is White, in Black Face.
• Southern white men decided that a couple hundred years ago, when they declared that one drop of “black” blood disqualified a human being from having any rights. Go ahead continue pointing out how insufficient your education is.

CANYOUSMELLMENOW

• I am a white middle age tea party member who wants pres. Obama out of office because of his pour performance. And i want mr. Herman cain to replace him. So put that in your “racist pipe and smoke it” mr. Freeman. I am tired of the black comunity telling me im a racist. 2 underqualified black men were given jobs i applyed for in my company, and guess what they could not handle the job, and when they finally offerd i said “no thanks” and found a job were my “actuall work expirerance” matterd. Why would i want to stay in that tipe of envire ment.. Have a nice day……………………………
• No doubt the “job” did not include spelling or writing. Let me guess, you are not in favor of affirmative action? Why do all you folks use the term “black” and never African-American? 

INOGAWD

• Was going to see Dolphin Tail this week-end,  But Think I’ll wait for it to come on Netflix..
• Way to make a serious political statement dude! Wait for Netflix!

RIGHT_ON_THE_LEFT_COAST

• Why can’t Hollywood actors just keep their mouths shut?!? I say that not because I don’t think they should be allowed to dialogue about politics — it’s just that they ruin it for all their fans when they do!
• Yeah,  that dumb Ronald Reagan. Why didn’t he just keep his mouth shut. I’ve never been able to look at Gonzo or the Gipper the same since.

AVENGER

• I will never watch a film where this racist pig is acting.Obummer is not black ,he is a mullatto that hates white people.This marxist half breed is destroying the USA.
• You’re doin’ my job for me dude. Mullatto? You at least might try learning how to spell racist words.

WETMOUSE

• I am a Tea Party fan. I want the “white” part of Obama out of Washington !
• You guys are truly obsessed with this white/black thing aren’t ya?

GHANDI WAS A REPUBLICAN

• Yes Morgan.. Couldn‘t have anything to do with obama’s false campaign that was a pack of lies to steal America’s vote. He was doomed from the beginning because he does not have the support of the electorate that was lied to and did NOT vote for this charlatan’s hidden agenda.
  I can name you three Black men that would wipe the floor with obama in a head to head election.
  1. Alan Keyes
  2. Herman Cain
  3. Alan West
  and there are many more that the truly racist left will die trying to destroy!

    But can you name me four? Naw, didn’t think so

ONESHINER

• @Godfather1……… Alan Keys was too conservative and too black I guess, because his racist community didn’t support him, did they? Can this possibly be proof that color isn’t the real issue?
  I think the real issue is most blacks on welfare don’t want to lose their sugar daddy.
• You guys do know that you are stepping all over each other don’t ya? Let me see the racist blacks who only vote for Obama because he is sorta black, won’t vote for Keyes because it’s not about race. But it’s now about welfare?

SWAMPY

• The whole don’t be a racist **** is a scam. Sitting here and pretending we don’t give a damn, keeping our mouth shut, watching these sob’s destroying our cities, destroying our families, taking jobs they aren’t qualified for just because of their race, making the rest of us work twice as hard for less pay because we have the wrong color skin. While they gang together commit massive voter fraud, lie and threaten violence against old people and elect a foreign bastard that hates everything great about this nation, and wants to see us slaves to a bunch of his rich/socialists buddies.
• Nice of ya to come out of that cave and really give us the low down. Don’t mince words swamp, let out all your ugly venom at all the folks who are keeping you down. You coulda been somebody were it not for “them.”

See ya next time, folks. It was a good D-skushun.

**There were 37 pages of this crap. I got all this off of the first 2.  

 Related articles

• Herman Cain Criticizes Morgan Freeman Remarks, Praises Tea Party (thehollywoodgossip.com)
• WATCH: Herman Cain Responds To Morgan Freeman Criticizing Tea Party As Racist (huffingtonpost.com)
• Morgan Freeman accuses Tea Party of racism over Obama (guardian.co.uk)

Benjamin Button Be Damned

Tags

aging, Congress, food, Humor, nincompoops, Obama, psychology, racism, self control, teabaggers

A couple of weeks ago, we watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Since then we’ve had a lively discussion about the relative merits of being born old and growing younger and the more conventional method of growing older. They both that their plusses and minuses.

Aging definitely has its down sides. I mean take eating for instance. One finally begins to appreciate food, and the old taste buds are wearing out.

If you don’t believe me, try eating someSpaghetti O’s and see what I mean. I mean seriously, yuck! But they were a real treat when I was ten.

I must go through a bushel of jalapenos every week. We add them to hotdogs and hamburgers, meatloaf and casseroles. I mean, I caught myself the other day engaged in this give and take:

Me: So what do you want for breakfast dear?

Contrarian: Oh, maybe just some Cheerios. I’m not that hungry.

Pause. . . .

Me: would you like a little chopped jalapeno in that?

You get my drift?

Food just seems blander all the time, and needs more pepper! I never used much pepper growing up, now I liberally twist that damn pepper mill with more vigor than a farmer wringing a chicken’s neck. On the other hand, I have less tolerance for salt I find. I find myself buying no-salt stocks and no-salt tomato sauce. Go figure.

Which brings me to just a little note. I made a fabulous southwest chicken salad yesterday, and we scarfed up the entire dish. I thought it would be too hot with a smoked jalapeno in adobe sauce and two pickled jalapenos, but it was just right. I’ll be posting on What’s on the Stove? the full details, so mosey on over if it sounds good to ya. I got the recipe from a lady over on Justapinch.

♦

Zander has a great take on the TeaNutz® historical twisting and turnings on the issue of Martin Luther King, Jr. It is amusing to listen to them now hail him as the “conservative Republican” who would have “hated” all things liberal. Not so many years ago, they were saying exactly the opposite. I good read.

♦

Months ago we were watching a show about learning about chimpanzee intelligence. Pursuant to that they showed a testing of small children in which they were offered a marshmallow but told that if they waited fifteen minutes, they would get two instead of only the one.

Well, that study was continued and the results of how these kids turned out as adults is in. The self-control kids, as you might expect, did better in life. But there are other surprising results from the study. About how we can exercise our willpower and enhance it. Good reading and you can decide if you might want to read the book that resulted.

♦

An amusing letter than might have (should have?) been sent to Speaker Boehner by WH chief-of-staff, Bill Daley, regarding the Thursday speech. comes from Beeryblog. Oh but we wish so much it had been. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

♦

The Blaze is all a-tizzy with grave conspiracy theory swirling. The Prez, on his way via helicopter to Camp David, was diverted to a nearer airport and motored there due to “weather concerns” Now da Blaze cannot find any “weather concerns, so they wonder what could have been the “real” reason.

I figure Obama wanted to make a quick stop to introduce Sasha to Osama Bin Laden, who had been secretly closeted at the airport awaiting a big family re-union with all the O’s worldwide. The president was heard to remark that us O people, first name or last, are a small group especially when you consider the OB (ama) and OS (ama) coincidence.

 The two figure to be first cousins-seventeen times removed and can’t wait to meet in Madagascar on Tuesday, October 31 for the big barbecue ta-do. Auntie Katerina OK (ama) from Siberia is the matriarch of this disparate clan. The big O’s, Ladin and Barrack, are hoping to finalize plans to introduce the Muslim Brotherhood into state school boards in 2012. OW (ama), an uncle from Ecuador is working on the Sharia law angle, and figures most of the US will be under its control no later than April of 2012.

Captain Crunch, one of the nincompoops suggests this reason for the set down:

BS! This sounds like another secret meeting with Soros…just like his daughters ball game he never made it to, which game never happened, in the dark of the night. I can see his shiney white teeth and eyeballs glowing in the dark as he creeps around town with his cloak and daggar.

But EP46 thinks he has it all figured out:

Maybe to pick-up Larry Sinclair…….the Minnesota man who claims he took cocaine in 1999 with obama and participated in homosexual acts with him.

Secessionista is quite sure that it has to do with this:

He probably wanted to meet with the new black panther party leadership to urge them to unionize. And to learn how to kill Americans when they come for him. It’s a win win for them all.

But JamesR thinks it’s all got to do with the suspicious Marine who is standing at attention at the helicopter. We have vays of making you talk. . . .

Something doesn’t seem right. The marine’s coat is to long and does not fit right and his dress slacks are long enough for him to be walking on them. This picture may be of a kid. The copter flight would make it easier for Obama to get away from the office and head to Camp David. Americans need to insist on a tight belt and all future use of jets, and copters need to be grounded. Bama has an office in the white house and come to think of it, just about everything a family would need for a long weekend of relaxation.

Errr, there were six pages of this crap. Crazy is as crazy does.

Have a good one.