trump-hair I sit and wonder, neurons firing in rapid succession, blood coursing, pulse throbbing, muscles twitching, mind in chaos as my body goes on autopilot as I negotiate the political waters in my little boat. I am watching old reruns of America’s Funniest Home Videos the Foxy Noise’s answer to “ask a politician” otherwise known as a “debate” but more clearly seen as a 10-ring circus.

What is this phenom called “The Donald”? What does he want, need, or reflect? What is this barely one-third filled auditorium of robotic clappers who cheer when candidates say, “no abortion, not even to save the life of the mother,”? A very smart right-wing excuse for a human, points out that, hey if the woman is saved but not the baby, she’s no mother anyway. Burn the bitch at the stake!

Watching over the past weeks at the land laid bare by one Donald J. Trump, put-er of names upon objects, flashy promoter of silly “reality” shows, ex-promoter of barbie dolls in swimsuit and gown barely able to string one sentence together with proper grammar. All around douche.

It is impossible for a person of normal sensibilities to look at this trainwreck of a human being and do anything but shake your head in. . .in what? Sympathy? Understanding? What exactly do you feel when you look at such a creature of an evolutionary roll of the dice?

A surprising number of folks, some clearly knuckle-draggers, but quite a few seemingly normal, will respond to the question, what do you think of the Donald, with “well at least he tells it as it is” or “he says what he thinks regardless of whether it’s popular”. With similar phrases a man who has managed in his lifetime to accomplish nothing that anyone would admire much at all, has been catapulted to the top of the leadership board in the GOP clown car race to lose the presidency once again.

Yes, The Donald may “tell it like it is” or more pertinently, tell it like we’d like to if we had the chance” but what does  that mean? Surely we don’t (most of us at least) agree with much of anything that falls out of his prissy lips. So is it just the choice to throw caution to the wind and speak one’s own sense of truth no matter what that counts?

I doubt it. We can know this because while not apologizing for any of the shocking things he says out loud, he does go to some lengths to “explain” so that he won’t be judged so harshly by his base.

His base?

It seems the right winger tea-sippin’ loons are fairly fungible. They slither under the rock supports for such buffoons as Trump, but also the Jindal/Cruz/Santorum/Carson et. al. as well, and they will abandon any of ’em should they stray from the deep and bitter hatred speeches that this group demands.

Of course conspiracy theories abound as well. Which is nice, since the Trumpster has been author of a few himself. Note how the “proof” he had that President Obama was not a real citizen, has evaporated into interstellar space long ago. Along with the ever anonymous “border agents” trotted out by everyone to prove that one cannot cross the border these days for the heaps of bodies and crime victims littering the Chihuahuan Desert, along the red line that separates Merika and my little slice of heaven from Mexico which stands for all of the rest of the world. To the loons, all brown people are Mexican regardless of whether they hail from Ecuador or Peru. And let’s not forget all the Arab terrorists that have been living there just waiting to sneak across and blow up Deming and Ruidoso.

We are glad you informed us all down here of the danger we are in.

Yes, the Trump man likes his conspiracies. One aimed at him, is that he is nothing but a wolf in sheep’s clothing, entering the private hell, aka GOP, as a means to destroy it from within, no doubt at the behest and for a good hand/blow job by the ever versatile Hillary.

Now, while it is an appealing thought, I really don’t think that normal people like Hillary could have concluded that even The Donald could out-crazy a Ted  (machine-gun bacon) Cruz for instance. Who can outdo a Mikey Huckabee and his “Obama is leading the Jews to the doors of the ovens”? Who can outdo Bennie the scalpel Carson’s, “Obamacare is worse than slavery”? I mean can not crazy probe into crazy deep enough to out GOP the GOP? Does one risk losing one’s senses to even try?

Look, Donald is one very mean son-of-a-bitch, and we all know that. He unrelenting attacks against Rosie O’Donnell are proof positive that he is neither a gentleman nor a man in firm grasp of his own self-esteem. He cannot stand being criticized no matter how minor the issue, and he does what people of low self-esteem always do–they hit back hard and vicious, attacking people on peripheral matters that are suggestive of grammar school playgrounds.

He pretends to live in some world where he is the most attractive, smart, rich person and is admired by all. I doubt even he believes it, but he is driven by some absurd need to succeed, and his measure of success is, believe me, no standard you or I will ever know. I suspect it’s all tied up with daddy issues and probably a mommy one or two to boot.

If you read the right wing bullshit creator (otherwise known as Fox but also Breitbart, WND, Red State, Town Hall, and the Blaze), you realize that Donald has done nothing more than tap into the drooling stupidity of the far right that knows almost nothing, is educated about almost nothing, but can still identify a white stranger (friend) at sixty paces, and finger the safety on their semi-automatic while they purchase diapers at Walmarts.

These people are STUPID. They don’t want to pay taxes. They want a better job (with no clue how to get one or what to do with it if they had it). They have been Foxy educated to hate all people of color not because they are of color, but  because they are criminals, job thieves, and don’t pay taxes. If your life sucks, Fox will explain who is to blame, and it ain’t you and it ain’t them. Funny how all them just happen to be not white.

This is where Trump is stuck. He can claim that he doesn’t filter but says what he means, but really? Apparently  he has suggested that PPH should be funded to the parts that don’t deal with abortion. Reasonable? Some would say so. But the far right whack jobs are already threatening him with the appellation RINO as a result. He can drift almost not at all from the stringent rules of the road established by the gun rack lobby.

These folks are willing, for the right candidate, to burn the house down to make their point. Trump dare not come off rational in any respect or they will abandon him like two day old raw chicken left on the counter.

Trump has no hope of winning over the middle, for even the “I don’t vote for a party but for the candidate” folks won’t go that far. The independent voter (which is nothing more than those who don’t listen to any of the shit until a week before an election) is not his to win. They may be uninterested, but they are not fall-down drunk stupid.

It seems to me that Trump probably never does better than about 25 per cent. That means he wins nothing either as a GOP candidate or as an independent hair express man.

So what is his point?

Hell if I know.

As a comedian suggested on Larry Wilmore the other night, “if it appears I’m trying to get into Trump’s head, just kill me. I don’t want to ever go there.”

We figured the GOP for a good circus act this time around. But this? Oh we never expected this. This is too sweet. It’s like SNL playing new stuff ever minute of the day. Trump delivers the bull and the media cackles and tries to make sense of the crazy. Worse, they start predicting.

It’s going to be a long season. If the best is yet to come, lordy are we in for a bumpy ride.