Oh, Michele, Say It Ain’t So–Or the Crazy Meets the Wall

Tags

Humor, Michele Bachmann, tea party, teabaggers

Oh my goodness, my goodness, as Shirley Temple often said. Or perhaps a band of munchkins is more to your liking, “ding, dong, the wicked witch is dead.” Figuratively of course. Whatever you flavor of bygonedom, an era of crazy as in bat shit crazy is about to end. You won’t have Michele to kick around any more as Tricky Dick was wont to glower.

I could go on, but you no doubt know I have more pithy comments left to make. Soooo, I was grumbling, sitting on the side of the bed, dangling a pair of panties and searching valiantly for my toe to hook ’em, when the Contrarian rushed in, “let me be the first to tell ya sweetie. Michele Bachmann isn’t going to run for re-election.”

Well, that almost made my day, although a 2 1/2 mile walk and a trip to the pool followed by three shopping stops still loomed large in my rear view mind. All sorts of stuff started racing through my head as I tried to figure out how a Bachmann-free world would look, feel, nay even smell like.

I scoured the Internet and managed to find all this information for your perusal.

Since she started out by assuring us that it had nothing to do with her Democratic opponent, you can assume it had EVERYTHING to do with her Democratic opponent. I mean she had already started running ads. The fact that that pesky investigation about how she mismanaged her campaign finances wouldn’t go away probably had something to do with it too.

I am told that Louis Gohmert and Steve King were heartbroken. No more weird teapotter sex in the cloak room with the ever vivacious and eye-spinning girl wonder for them. You do NOT want to know what teapotter sex consists of, trust me. People who have snuck in between the coats to spy on the threesome (de rigueur in teapotter circles), have been known to lose their eyesight. Nobody thought you could put THAT, THERE and live I tell ya.

Anyway, insiders suggest that there were some private reasons why Ms. Bachmann decided to hang up her Congressional spurs at this time.

• She was heartbroken when Speaker Boehner told her that she had not won a seat on the Intelligence Committee because  of her, you know, intelligence. Actually it all started as a joke and well, it got out of hand.
• Various members of the Armed Services called to testify at hearings, threatened to commit hara kiri if she asked them one more stupid question.
• Marcus’ reparative therapy had been going really well until marriage equality passed in Minnesota. Thereafter he could be heard roaming their Minnesota home intoning, “free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I’m free at last.”
• Michele was told that the campaign finance money she spent on her “wandering eye” surgery was not deductible as an “expense”.
• Her most lucrative engagement–speaking at Tea Party events was about to dry up as the last Teapotters get ready to close up shop. Sarah advised her to get in on the speaking tours while the getting was good. Grifters do as much for other grifters it seems.
• It was explained to her that Obamacare was still the law of the land and no amount of clicking her heels together would change that.
• A little-known House rule requires a Congressperson to step down after eight years of introducing absolutely no bills that weren’t laughed at by the House cleaning staff.
• It was about to get out that she had copies of Chippendales on Display” in her desk drawer–AND the pages were very very worn.
• She’s joining a new group headed up by Christine “I’m not a witch” O’Donnell, Sarah “I’m still relevant” Palin, and other failed TeaWomen, to offer their services as Public Relations experts.
• She always wanted to be a end-times preacher in her heart of hearts.
• Let’s face it, Phyllis Schlafley is getting really really old and somebody has to travel around the country, get paid tens of thousands all the while spreading the message that God wants women to stay home and support their flaccid husbands. After all, they didn’t get flaccid all by themselves, it takes a ball-buster of a woman to do that, except of course unless he’s a closeted gay.

Meanwhile,  the Contrarian has wired the entire house so that every television and Tivo box is tied together. I don’t understand the science behind all this, but I’m assured that I can turn on any TV just by pushing “puree” on my blender and I can change channels by pressing “steam” on my iron. No amount of glazed-over eyes prevents him from explaining the math of all this to me over and over again. I prefer to simply say. . . .”the Internet is like a series of tubes through which little busses carrying electrical bundles careening through intersections dump their loads at rail crossings, and yelling ‘bingo’ at regular intervals, all resulting in my getting the channel I want when I want it.”

Signing off from this tube relay platform until later.

Related articles

• Michele Bachmann says she won’t run for re-election (suntimes.com)
• Bye-Bye Bachmann! But Hopefully Not Farewell (newyorker.com)
• Michele Bachmann Calls It Quits (businessweek.com)
• Bachmann Calls it Quits! (politicalirony.com)
• Bachmann Makes Stunning Decision (huffingtonpost.com)

 

The Stupid Chronicles: May 25, 2013

Tags

E. W. Jackson, GOP, Humor, satire, Stupid Chronicles, tea party, teabaggers

The catch of the week is E. W. Jackson, nominated by the great state of Virginy GOP’ers to be the next Lieutenant Governor along with already pretty darn crazy Ken Cucchinelli. Terry McCauliffe’s chances of taking the governorship just went up exponentially.

Some say that during the nominating convention, when Jackson started to get too much support, rational Republicans moved to support Jackson as about the only feasible way to show the insane Teatottlers that they were a doomed bunch who had to be purged of the Grand OLD Party. Did not Bobby Jindal say the same when he urged the party to stop being the party of stupid. Stupid we all know means teabibber gibberish.

They truly don’t get much nuttier than the dear Reverend who once referred to the original constitution’s 3/5 clause was an “anti-slavery clause”, which is, as anybody in their freakin’ right mind knows, a serious distortion of history to say the least.

In Jackson, the Republicans have, what they always wish for, another good House Negro: a black man (they don’t use the term African-American in conservative circles) who will turn his back on his own race and accept the grateful crumbs of the extreme right, who will parade him around as their “proof” that they aren’t racist. The usual suspects are touting him as their new savior–because he has “American” values and doesn’t “play the race card”–all now euphemisms for “we got us a darkie who will dance to our tune”. The Manassa Tea Party joyfully reported that the biggest applause line for Jackson at the nomination convention was his proud assertion that “I’m not an African-American, I’m an American.”

Here are some of the delightful things that Mr. Jackson has had to say about, well lots of things.

1. He once compared Planned Parenthood to the KKK, apparently buying into the right-wing extremist claim that PPH is designed and devoted to black genocide, one baby at a time. Such of course is sheer nonsense, and given that these same reactionaries are opposed to every and all efforts to feed, educate and maintain with health care these same black babies once born, one can dismiss the argument as sheer hyperbole.
2. He of course is also on the band wagon chiming in with the usual House Negro complaint that African-Americans who vote Democratic are nothing but plantation negroes.
3. He has claimed that the President has a Muslim view of the world. He gets this weird notion from a speech in which Obama used the term “Muslim world”–a term Jackson claims is “only” used by the Muslim Brotherhood and other radical groups. I mean who can argue with day-care logic of that level?
4. He has made claims that gays are “perverted” and “very sick people psychologically, mentally, and emotionally.” He has tweeted that gays are “ikky“.  He has said that same-sex marriage will lead to bestiality, claiming Adam and Steve will become Adam and the bull.  
5. He has asserted that the “Democratic agenda is worthy of the anti-Christ.”
6. Jackson maintains that President Obama doesn’t believe in the constitution and is intent upon setting up a lawless dictatorship.

Cucchinelli, who has already been trying to tone down his own TeaFoolish connections to appeal to, you know, normal people, is already apparently claiming that he doesn’t have to defend his new BFF, Jackson. I shouldn’t wonder why.

Normal, rational mainstream Republicans are utterly taken aback. Michael Steele is alleged to have said, “Is the Virginia GOP trying to engage in a ‘How to lose an election 101?'” But not so the crazies. No, they are alive and well. I’ll give you a sample of what the great uninformed and basically stupid are saying:

• E. W. Jackson is an awesome, and highly qualified person. (No relation to Jesse obviously) ( WND)  If you didn’t know, Jesse Jackson is the poster child for unacceptable Negro in he Teadrippers pantheon of bad Negroes. JJ plays the “race card” meaning he stands up for African-American rights in a racist world, something that the average Teasniffer disavows as uncomfortably directed at them.
• Love that Ewwwwww Jackson. Just love him. We should just give him all of our white daughters. You know. Cuz whites are all a bunch of immasculated panty-waists thanks to threats of being charged with racism and hate crimes if you ever call a spade a spade or demand equal protection from the most criminal elements in our society. Go ahead. Give him your vote. You won’t be getting your country back by voting anyway. (WND) Have no clue what this person even means. But nobody much suggests that TeaSniffers can write sentences that are understandable.
• Republican principles, however, are centred on individual initiative, freedom, and responsibility, something which ethnics don’t quite understand. (WND)  I can only assume that being a House Negro makes you somehow not “ethnic”. Neat trick.
  
• How long before he is labeled a “token” by the left or “not authentically black” by what qualifies as leadership within the liberal African-American Community? (Breitbart)  Ummm, they already did dude. That was back before you ever heard his name and jumped on to make him your new black boy.
• The Tea Party is completely open to having successful and talented Republican black men and women in the party but the Demonrat/Media racist hate machine usually destroys them before we stand a chance. Wait for the flood gates to open on this guy too. It’s probably already started. Hope America wakes up to the evil that is the modern “retroprogressive”. (Breitbart) Oh what is a retroprogressive? I think I might want to be one of those.
• Granted, there were not that many minorities attending, but I’m hoping E.W. will be a bridge to that community.(Breitbart) Yes, it’s a well-known fact that Negroes vote by skin color. No doubt all the fine negroes in Virginia will line up for all the fine things he offers to bring them in terms of policy. Dang, will somebody stop making pigs fly? Or at least not feed them before sending them airborne?

We give to Mr. E. W. Jackson congratulations on his fine winning of the nomination. We hope that all of Virginia will give a warm pot of piss to the TeaBooglers and their racist, homophobic, bible-chewing rhetoric come election day.

Related articles

• Democratic leaders take aim at GOP pick Jackson’s ‘extreme agenda’ (wjla.com)
• E.W. Jackson for Lieutenant Governor (rightwingliberal.wordpress.com)
• Meet GOP’s fringy new star, E. W. Jackson (salon.com)
• GOP Candidate Compared Planned Parenthood To KKK (huffingtonpost.com)
• African-American Richmond Pastor Rev. Joseph Ellison Says Black Churches Will Stand with E. W. Jackson All the Way Despite Criticism (blackchristiannews.com)
• Black GOP Virginia Lt. gov. nominee stirs controversy with anti-gay views (thegrio.com)
• Getting to know E.W. Jackson (maddowblog.msnbc.com)
• E.W. Jackson explains why it’s not fair to use his own words against him (dailykos.com)
• Have the Republicans Found Their House Negro? (bothwell.typepad.com)

 

It’s Not Time to Cry Wolf

Tags

environment, global warming, tornadoes

It’s so very tempting to cry out in anger and frustration. If you are one of those self-serving climate change deniers, best cast a wide berth around me today. That is what I am tempted to say.

My heart aches for the people in Oklahoma who have suffered the loss of all their material lives but in addition, many have lost loved ones, many of those children, huddled in an elementary school for safety. Unfortunately, the twister cut a death road right through it.

After all the natural disasters we have suffered in the past fifteen years, it is tempting to believe that we are reaping the consequences of our refusal to seriously address the damage we are doing to our planet. It is so very tempting. And a lot of people are saying just that.

I was tempted. My first reactions were probably much like yours. “Now tell me again that there is no such thing as man-made climate change.” Of course there is, and we know it to be a fact. We know it because of studies done again and again. The science is clear, and the scientific community is also clear, remaining at the level of 97%. When independent studies are conducted, looking at nearly 14,000 peer-reviewed articles on climate change, only 24 were skeptical. That’s a powerful number.

Yet a fair look at the data regarding tornadoes does not suggest that we should make the assumption that climate change is the culprit in what seemingly are more severe and fatal tornadoes. You can look at the actual listing of tornadoes in America since the earliest recorded one in 1671 to the present. A number of things should be remembered:

1. Reporting in terms of damage and severity of twisters changes over time. We use a new system for instance starting in 2007, the Enhanced Fujita Scale. We have better equipment for measuring intensity and damage.
2. We are much more populated. Areas that were virtually uninhabited are no longer so, and fatalities may reflect that to some degree.
3. We have better warning systems that no doubt save lives.

The facts are that scientists generally do agree that climate change is driving a lot of weather phenomenon such as heat waves, drought, flooding, hurricanes and snowstorms. But tornadoes are something else again. The science is not there. There is still much that remains unknown about tornadoes and the main causes–energy in the form of warm, wet air meeting colder air, and wind shear, cut in opposite directions as far as climate change is concerned. This doesn’t mean that climate change is not driving tornadic activity today, but no one can say that with certainty at this point. 

Numbers suggest that 2011 was one of the worst years for tornadoes, but so far 2013 seems relatively sedate. However it is also noted as of the last few years, there seem to be tornadoes of higher intensity and with greater loss of life than we have seen in most of our lifetimes. That is merely anecdotal evidence at this point, and points to no clear trend as far as the science is concerned.

While we generally approve of Democratic Senator, Sheldon Whitehouse and his positions on any number of issues before the American public, he spoke to quickly in my humble opinion in assigning a causative claim to the Oklahoma twister in Moore to “climate change”. Since the science simply doesn’t support the allegation, Senator Whitehouse only serves the reactionary right when he offers up an opinion that can be so easily taken apart.

This is distressing for the reason that as we all know (all of those who are rational, read the actual scientific papers and listen to their testimony) that man-made climate change is real and it is taking and will continue to take a serious toll on this planet, making life uncomfortable for many, and perhaps unlivable for many others. I read just yesterday of,  if memory serves me, a small island in Fiji where the inhabitants recently moved a seaside settlement inland by a mile to get away from rising ocean levels that were washing into their crop lands and destroying them with salt water. That is reality.

It simply doesn’t help to cry wolf at indefensible tragedies no matter how tempting. There is more than enough reality to use as examples.

Related articles

• Can we blame the Oklahoma tornado on climate change? (rawstory.com)
• Is tornado intensity increasing? (livescience.com)
• Can we blame climate change for the tornado that took out Moore, Oklahoma? (grist.org)
• The Oklahoma Mega-Twister Is More Weather Than Climate Change (science.time.com)

There’s a Scandal Alright–Just Not Where You Think

Tags

Benghazi, Dan Burton, Darrell Issa, House committees, Jonathan Kar

I’ve long wondered at the seeming inability of the GOP to remember that we actually keep records of  “that stuff”. They continue to forget that. I give a pass to the typical TeaPotter who is so ill-informed that they are left with nothing but misspelled phrases that they either paint on cardboard signs or attempt to regurgitate from memory. They can’t be expected to actually, you know, KNOW history.

As you know doubt know, the GOP has been looking for a way for five long years now to bury this president. All of their schemes have come to naught for quite obvious reasons, but even when we thought things might, just might, return to some semblance of normalcy after their debacle of 2012, well, sadly they learned nothing.

Some of their own kind (Pat Toomey)  even admit, that their membership so hates this man that they will vote NO on legislation as publicly supported as universal background checks. So of course we expected that rottweiler of a thug, Darrell Issa to continue his determination to find SOMETHING that can bring down this administration.

Benghazi was their choice, aided and abetted by one John S. McCain, who had a personal vendetta and was more than willing to rattle the sabre of “coverup” at least as it pertained to Susan Rice, a woman we can now categorically say was unfairly maligned and mistreated by Johnny and his misogynist guy pal, Ms. Lindsey.

Let me just say this simply. The Benghazi “scandal” is nothing more than a witch hunt. And history explains it all to us.

Darrell “my brother did it” Issa is chairman of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. That is, innocent as it sounds, a very powerful committee, and one Issa has used since 2010 when he assumed chairmanship, to conduct endless hearings into the Obama administration, hoping to find ANYTHING that can be used to harass and drive from office the Negro in the White House.

It is also the only committee that is allowed to issue subpoenas under the chairman’s signature only. However, this has seldom been the practice. Normally, given that grave power, the Chairman has sought the agreement of a full committee vote before so proceeding. This has been  the case except for only two occasions in modern times. Hint: this is where the history gets important.

The most notable occasion when the Chairman took sole control over subpoenas was under the chairmanship of Dan Burton, (R-IN). Mr. Burton had a serious case of the ass against one William J. Clinton. Like Darrell, Dan fairly lit up the committee with his constant and outlandish claims of wrongdoing.

This resulted in a scandal of course–Mr. Burton spend years, over 1,000 subpoenas, and 7 million bucks of taxpayer money, trying to prove that there was scandal to be found in the fund-raising practices of the Democratic Campaign organization. Copies of audio tapes from a “witness” were released. Later it was determined that the tapes had been severely “edited” to appear quite different from their original content. Burton fired committee staff man David Bossie, the supposed “editor”.

However, the scandal went further, and finally, there were calls for Burton to step down himself. He never did of course.

Well, here we go again.

Mr. Issa decided that Burton’s sole possessor of the subpoena was a good thing,  and re-instituted the practice again. This brought a rather lengthy and well-reasoned letter from Elijah Cummings, ranking minority leader on the committee, and a man with a memory. He pointed out that unilateral usage of the power of subpoena had gotten the GOP into serious trouble once before, and it was better to return to the normal and regular practice of bipartisan issuance of these orders.

Of course, Mr. Issa declined rational behavior and has as we all know run a one-man-show of Obama attack. And the expected result has occurred.

For weeks the GOP has harped that the Obama White House was engaged in a cover-up regarding Benghazi. That cover-up has never been spelled out well, but it seems to have revolved around the White House changing the talking points (which implicated Rice somehow), to protect the State Department (and Hillary Clinton) from being accused of malfeasance.

This claim was bolstered by information from e-mails circulated between the  parties involved. We were told this by the GOP. Jonathan Karl broke the story for ABC, claiming as the GOP had alleged, that State Department officials had participated in changing the talking points, along with the White House. Karl implied that he had seen the emails himself and “quoted” from them.

When the true emails were brought forth, they told a different story–one that indicated that neither the White House nor the State Department had played a part in the versions discussed and finally issued by the CIA for distribution (i.e. to Susan Rice).  Now of course Karl claims he never actually saw any e-mails but his “source” shared “notes” with him of what he/she read.

The fair meaning  of what Karl claimed and the actual truth leave little doubt that there was a deliberate attempt to portray the White House and State Department in a bad light and to provide proof that they had acted politically with the intent to deceive. Since the e-mails were the subject of subpoenas, the likely “source” is undoubtedly someone on Issa’s committee.

It is ironic in the end that all this Benghazi “scandal” has been in part to dirty the White House, but also to begin the long process of discrediting Mrs. Clinton. While nobody is all that surprised by the GOP’s doing that, it must be remembered that when all efforts were directed toward destroying the President, the GOP actually held Mrs. Clinton up as the “ray of sunshine” in the otherwise dismal Obama landscape.

Now that the President seems invincible to their machinations, Clinton, the new threat, became the new target.

It’s all so predictable.

And that is what needs be investigated it seems–why are my tax monies being used to manufacture scandals for Republican political gain?

Riddle me that Batman.

Related articles

• Benghazi Backfires on Republicans as Democrats Eviscerate Issa and the GOP (politicususa.com)
• Will a GOP aide be fired over Benghazi email changes? (salon.com)
• CBS News: Republicans Changed Benghazi Emails (themoderatevoice.com)
• CBS: Republicans were source of inaccurate Benghazi emails (dailykos.com)
• Why the GOP may regret its Obama scandal obsession (tv.msnbc.com)
• Benghazi Backfires on Republicans as Democrats Eviscerate Issa and the GOP (easyjjgrand3.newsvine.com)

Mostly I’m Sane, Except on Thursday

Tags

Humor, life in the foothills, lifestyle, stupid people I meet

I think I mentioned it.

I have a new housekeeper.

She started last Thursday. She was an hour late. Not a good sign.

She’s due again today. In about ten minutes.

I’ve had a housekeeper before.

It was years ago.

It was great.

She came and went while I was busy trying to extricate various criminals from the long arm of the law.

I have no place to escape from now, being “retired” and all. I feel “in the way” in my own home.

Now you have heard it all. Complaining about the inconvenience of having a housekeeper.

Don’t I just beat all?

But since I’m doing such a bang up job of complaining, why stop now?

A couple of days ago, I stopped by the local grocery to pick up a few items to drop off at the church.

I had two large bags of paper plates and two large boxes of plastic silverware. They were slightly unwieldy but I had not thought to grab a cart. I balanced them precariously as I made my way to the express lane.

Of course upon arrive, I found two people in front of me.

Of course, one of those two persons, a somewhat elderly lady, (you know the kind, they take forEVER to write a check), apparently had a good case of the counting disorder.

As in, how does six filled plastic bags in a cart = fifteen items?

The man behind me, who had no where near fifteen items, but did have the intelligence to have a cart, grinned as I whispered, “creative counting”,  all the while threatening to dump my silverware into the Lays Potato Chip display. I was threatening that is, not him.  He grinned and offered the usual manly helping hand.

“I bet you didn’t know that items of the same type, i.e. bread count as ONE no matter how many loaves you actually have, did you?”

“Why no”, he laughed. “Is that how it’s done?”

“Yes, but that’s just the beginning of how you get to fifteen. You can use the “all breakfast items are ONE”, all non-foods are ONE, all fruits are ONE. I mean do you count a bag of six apples as six? Of course not. No reason to count a grapefruit as an individual thing when it’s really just a different looking kind of apple. Or at least it could be called generically a citrus.”

By now, a second all you can stuff up your shirt lane had opened, and my best check out clerk was at the helm. She motioned me over and I gratefully dumped my load on her counter. “Do me a favor,” I intoned, “have that sign changed to creative counting, or How to make thirty-two items into fifteen.”

She laughed. “Honey, I can tell you that I’ve seen far worse than thirty-two in my day.”

Adventures in the Express Lane. It would make a good book title.

Which reminds me, I have an acquaintance who hasn’t a clue what the difference is between stupid and ignorant. True to form, she refuses to look either up to become informed. This borders on being both at the same time, or as I define it:

Being stupid is being ignorant and then opening your mouth and letting the whole world in on it.

Speaking of which, stupid or ignorant, that is. I have another story of small dimension.

I’ve been having the hair-pulling joy of trying to explain evolution to people who are very sure that God did it all in six days, and just 6+ thousand years ago. I mean it drives sane women to drink to engage in this sort of baby steps approach to human learning.

So after link after link of “here are tons of real biblical experts, and here are lots of theologians, and here are honest to goodness WHOLE Freaking Churches who know there is no dilemma between science and God, all I can arouse from that creaky rusty brain is:

“Well, no matter what you say, I still will never believe humans come from monkeys! I mean monkeys are still having monkey babies, aren’t they? Show me one that had a human baby?”

Well, slap my face and show me whose boss!

I’m relatively certain that God reserves the best accommodations for those of us who maintain a straight face (online of course) to that type of remark, all the while not shouting from the roof tops–STELLLLLAAAAA I MAY JUST HAVE FOUND THE MOST INSIPIDLY STUPID PERSON ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET.

It raises the real specter that indeed there may be people in this world not worth educating, but rather just consigning them to bottle Soylent Green in dark factories, allowing them to scurry to underground caves for their rest and meal of gruel. Only allowed to procreate under adult supervision. Ew, that sounds gross doesn’t it?

This was followed by the following episode of “Aw, come on, I really can be dumber than a whisk broom”.

I asked the reasonable, (or so I thought) question which went something like this:

Given that 71 children under the age of 12 have died since Newtown, the result of negligent gun ownership by adults, would you agree that at the least we might try background checks just to see if we can keep guns out of the hands of people who can’t be trusted with them and thus prevent needless deaths?

The answer I got?

“Sherry, just because you think that will prevent them,  is just your opinion. There will always be children dying you know.”

Yes, and horses will continue to defecate at will, but I can keep them off the kitchen floor can’t I? But I do wish to offer my condolences. I understand that when the right and left brains are severed, some people manage to develop fairly normally. Sorry that you weren’t one of them.

Just to prove that I have a sense of humor, I leave you with another Contrarianism. Those who read regularly know that sometimes, nothing beats a Contrarianism, or Sometimes you feel like a nut.

So, out of the blue the other night, I got asked this:

“So did it take you a long time to get used to wearing those shoes?” referring to my flip-flops.

“What?”

“I tried them once. Got horrible blisters between my toes. Just horrible.”

“No doubt you did. I’ve been wearing them since I was a kid, ” I sighed, not knowing what else was coming.

“Anybody with a brain would know that you don’t shove something between your toes. That’s why there is a between . . . .to protect the between part. I mean that’s obvious, right?”

“I’m going to sleep now.”

WAKE UP!

I’m done. Return all tray tables to their upright positions.

We have landed.

ADDENDUM. The housekeeper just called. Can’t make it. Probably is passing kidney stones. Pray for her. Forgot all about her job. Doctor said it’s probably kidney stones. Going to doctor. Pray for me.

Why me Lord?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Running of the Bulls. . .hit

Tags

editorial, IRS, tax exempt status

Okay, get your outrage ready followed by your thinking caps. It, to pare a Bette Davis phrase, “is going to be a bumpy ride.”

Let’s get rid of the outrage first.

1. It’s bad to target identifiable public groups of people for special scrutiny unless they are promoting pedophilia or making Adolph Hitler’s birthday a national holiday.
2. A man as smart as President Obama is, is surely very good at getting elected and surely very bad at managing his Administration–at least he has a lot of really incompetent people working for him that aren’t doing him any favors.
3. Anything that gives Tea Potters the ability to dance in the street in glee is just wrong on so many levels–mostly because they dress like idiots who missed the bus to the Super Bowl tailgate party.
4. Fourth, Jon Stewart already said it better than you could anyway with this:

“Well, congratulations, President Barack Obama, Conspiracy theorists who generally can survive in anaerobic environments have just had an algae bloom dropped on their fucking heads, thus removing the last arrow in your pro-governance quiver: skepticism about your opponents.”

TeaPotters should of course get somebody to explain to them what he said meant.

Okay, outrage over.

Now, let’s examine the facts, which are still fairly small in number, which allows me the joyous whimsy of speculating all over the place about both what might have happened and why. Given that I’m reputed worldwide to be a fairly decent prognosticator (if you don’t count the times I was wrong), I’m sure you will find my analysis spot on as they say or don’t say. You choose. (We are not getting into the DOJ “new” scandal today, so relax, you won’t go into brain overheating).

Okay, let’s begin.

This goes back, in my humble opinion, and with a tiny bit of help from the ever bubbly Contrarian, to *drum roll* Citizens United. That amazingly short-sighted, ill-thought-out, and all around stupid decision opened the floodgates as you no doubt recall to all kinds of bad things. Corporations could give unlimited amounts of money to elect those persons who would support their cause that the only good dollar is one in the pocket of a rich person, for only they know what to do with it.

Okay, okay, so it also allowed all sorts of other “groups” to also gather and spend tons of dough to influence the minds of mostly mind-numbingly stupid voters.

With me so far?

So a lot, and I do mean a lot, of folks figured out that they wanted to get in on the action.

In the world of the IRS is a thing called a 501 (c) 4. This is a tax-exempt status, not quite as pure as a 501 (c)3 status. It allows you to collect money and not pay taxes on it, but the donor can’t claim it as a tax-exempt donation. The status is reserved for groups who operate “for the promotion of the public welfare.”

See the truck? See the truck drive through the gigantic hole in the wall?

What the hell is public welfare?

Well, I knew you would ask that.

The ACLU is considered to do so. But so is the NRA.

See the more rigorous status, the 501 (c) 3 status requires that you stay the hell out of politics in any way shape or form. The 501 (c) 4 status is a bit more lenient. It allows one to lobby for legislation and also to engage in political activities as “long as their primary activity is the promotion of social welfare.” The mack truck as you can see is still driving right on through.

So a whole bunch of organizations pop up, all claiming they are for the public welfare, when in reality they are really about promoting candidates and issues. Enter the TeaPotters and various other right-wing groups.  To be fair, and we aim for fair,  there are (although to lesser number) plenty of left-wing organizations who also are trying to do the same thing.

Now Cincinnati is the office that apparently is the hub of the IRS operation to approve or deny applications for this status. One can assume that following Citizens United in 2010, there was a general flood of applications as everybody including grandma wanted to get in on the action. (I’m told something like 60,000 would not be far off the mark) The status is valuable since, some of the money is tax exempt which allows more of it be used as the organization desires, whether it be to “public welfare” or quite frankly in some case to allow for bigger salaries to those who run the things. Hint: you can make a good living by setting up and running one.  Also donor lists are not required to be publicized.

What to do with this flood of applications which may well have driven the wait time up many additional months?

I figure that some mid-level bureaucrats, who were told in no uncertain terms to clear the backlog, and “no you were not getting any more workers” because the GOP just says NO!, dreamed up this computer program to sort through applications and flag those that would in all cases require further scrutiny–i.e., were they actually doing “public welfare” or only a front for a political agenda. (It’s fairly hard to argue that any Tea party group or any Occupy Wall street group could be anything but political.) The program used words like tea party, phrases like government not working, taxes, and so forth.

As I understand it, of the numbers of kicked out applications (requiring further scrutiny and action) 25% involved right-wing organizations. The rest involved either left-wing or other groups who did not meet the criteria, being not fraternal organizations of chickadee lovers, chocolate addicts anonymous, or things of similar ilk.

At some point, higher-ups learned of the practice. Discussions were had, and all seemed convinced that it was not aimed at “enemies” so much, as to simply weed out by computer rather than by hand, those applications that would require more time. The normal applications could thus be passed through within a reasonable time.

Of course, it became known up the chain of command what was going on. But apparently this raised no red flag (as it should have) as it was discussed and explained to them.

This is born out by the fact that during this entire episode, one Doug Shulman was head of the IRS. Now Mr. Shulman was appointed and began his leadership of the IRS in March of 2008, having been appointed by George W. Bush. He completed his term in November of 2012. He testified that there was no such thing going on in the IRS, as late as March of 2012. While it is still unknown whether he was aware of the practice, it is now thought that he probably did.

This suggests to me, that he did not consider it aimed at suppressing right-wing groups so much as helping to alleviate the backlog and limited to pulling out those applications that would otherwise require additional scrutiny anyway. It appears that the agency’s interests had turned to increasing revenue since the early 2000’s, and it was felt that as much as 1.2 billions were being lost to tax exempt groups in the 2012 election alone. Clearly some of this, if not most of it, should not be tax exempt under the current laws.

Shulman is and has never been a politico. His entire career has been spent in the business arena. That suggests that while his political affiliation is unknown,  he probably supports business interests and it seems unlikely to me that he would deliberately turn a blind eye to some deliberate effort to damage conservative groups, which typically favor business interests. Thus we can take him at this word I think that there was not attempt to “target” conservative groups per se.

This suggests that the real problem here is not one of an “enemies list” so much as what you get when you try so hard to depoliticize an organization that none within it have the political nose to see a HUGE problem for what was probably created as a benign process to speed up the process for legitimate applications while leaving more problematical ones for later.

In other words, any political junkie would have seen this immediately as “DANGER, DANGER WILL ROBINSON!”,  but they were not so seen by your average apolitical bureaucrat.

So that’s my initial take on it.

Of course weigh in.

Related articles

• The IRS should review all 501(c)(4) organizations (evergreeninstitute.wordpress.com)
• IRS nonprofit division overloaded, understaffed (publicintegrity.org)
• The Monday Long Read: Why the IRS scrutiny of conservative groups is less nefarious – and more necessary – than you think (americangladiators.wordpress.com)
• The IRS Shoots Itself in the Foot, Then Reloads (motherjones.com)
• The IRS Was Wrong – But Many Political Groups Should Not Be Tax-Exempt (business.time.com)

What Would Jesus Do?–Apply Only When Convenient

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Christians, death penalty, fundamentalists, human rights, Individual Rights

I try not to go all Jesus on you, at least on this blog. And truthfully, I’m not really. I’m just trying to illustrate a point. Today’s discussion revolves around the death penalty.

The reason it came to mind today for me, is that Maryland’s governor, Martin O’Malley, recently signed a repeal of the death penalty bill, ending that state’s long association with murder by government, and becoming the 18th state to move to the side of life.

What is perhaps most interesting, or draconian, as you see it, is that at the same time, Florida moves to make the killing of its citizens more easy for the state to accomplish. Florida wishes all those on death row executed within 180 days of “a warrant being signed”–presumably from a valid conviction and sentence. This awaits the governor’s signature at a time that Florida ranks first in overturned death penalty cases, a stunning 24 people having been exonerated, since 1970.

When you look at a map of the country, it is easy to see that the 18 states who have abolished the death penalty, almost all reside in the north and east,  my own state of New Mexico being a happy exception. More and more, the killing is confined to the deep South, Ohio being the only exception to that rule. You can check out all the statistics in your state here.

In 2012, 140 countries had abolished the death penalty, 39 more have de facto eliminated it by not using it for a number of years. Fifty-eight still impose it, the US of course among them. Of the fifty-eight, there is not one single what we would call “modern” country, save Japan that does so. We are in the company of Syria, North Korea, the Congo, Cuba, Pakistan and Afghanistan with our penchant for murdering our own citizens. Only Iran and Saudi Arabia beat us in the numbers killed each year (China refuses to divulge such information and the numbers for them is thought to be in the thousands)

It confounds rational beings in this country that we continue this barbarism. In many countries, vigils are held at US embassies when an execution is imminent. Many countries will not extradite prisoners to this country because of its death penalty. Our claims about human rights violations are laughed at across the globe when we so viciously execute our own in the face of growing numbers of those later found innocent.

Yet we continue to do so, and it begs the question why? Why is the deep South, home of the Bible Belt, people by so many who advocate the death of their fellow citizens? Why do so-called Evangelical Christians, or Born Agains stand so steadfast for this legalized murder? How do they square all this with their manual of life, the Bible?

We can’t answer that question, because it is in fact unanswerable. These same people will argue that it is both right and proper for state legislatures to impose all kinds of controls on women to make sure that any fertilized egg is produced as a live birth. In fact, taking their arguments and legislation to its logical extension, absolutely nothing is “too far” when it comes to a fetus. They would allow for women to be imprisoned to insure that she is eating properly. They would allow for an investigation into the circumstances of any “miscarriage” to determine whether there was either deliberate or negligent causation of the loss.

They tell us that life is sacred, given by God. They say this of course, while we know that their interest begins and ends there. They are not generally willing to support that child once born. Many of them later will label that same child a “taker”, a 48%’er, a lazy, or other such appellation suggesting that they are unworthy of their charitable largess. And indeed they wish to reserve that right of “charity” to those persons deemed “worthy” as defined by them.

They engage in this ying-yang dichotomy of what God demands. God demands we preserve life at conception. God is ignored when in the guise of Jesus, He demands compassion and care for the least of God’s children. In the biggest effrontery of all, they accomplish this by proclaiming that God made his manual understandable to everyone, and therefore their self-serving interpretation is sacrosanct. They even have the gall to point to scripture for this proposition–beware of false prophets–everyone who tells them differently are of course the false prophets. It’s all neat and tidy.

However, the facts tend to get in the way. I offer the story of the adulterous woman from the Gospel of John, from Chapter 8.

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. 5 Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”

Note how the Scribes correctly state that the penalty for adultery is death. Stoning was never a punishment of pain, it was a death sentence. Yet Jesus precludes the use of the penalty, telling the woman to “go forth and sin no more”–an impossibility of course to any mortal human being. He forgives her. He in a real sense rehabilitates her. He sends her forth to resume her life, hopefully with a new outlook and a better approach to community living.

Yet these fundamentalists who insist that there is but one way to read the bible, and that is literally, seem able, as is always the case with them, to manage to avoid the obvious literalness of this passage.

They are quite happy to merrily go on judging others and condemning them to death. They continue to usurp the right of God (from their previous logic) to control matters of life and death.

It is why they forever deserve not only our ridicule, but our condemnation as Christians. They are simply users of scripture to accomplish their own personal desires. As such their opinions carry no weight.

So just jump in and rant away good readers!