E. W. Jackson, GOP, Humor, satire, Stupid Chronicles, tea party, teabaggers
The catch of the week is E. W. Jackson, nominated by the great state of Virginy GOP’ers to be the next Lieutenant Governor along with already pretty darn crazy Ken Cucchinelli. Terry McCauliffe’s chances of taking the governorship just went up exponentially.
Some say that during the nominating convention, when Jackson started to get too much support, rational Republicans moved to support Jackson as about the only feasible way to show the insane Teatottlers that they were a doomed bunch who had to be purged of the Grand OLD Party. Did not Bobby Jindal say the same when he urged the party to stop being the party of stupid. Stupid we all know means teabibber gibberish.
They truly don’t get much nuttier than the dear Reverend who once referred to the original constitution’s 3/5 clause was an “anti-slavery clause”, which is, as anybody in their freakin’ right mind knows, a serious distortion of history to say the least.
In Jackson, the Republicans have, what they always wish for, another good House Negro: a black man (they don’t use the term African-American in conservative circles) who will turn his back on his own race and accept the grateful crumbs of the extreme right, who will parade him around as their “proof” that they aren’t racist. The usual suspects are touting him as their new savior–because he has “American” values and doesn’t “play the race card”–all now euphemisms for “we got us a darkie who will dance to our tune”. The Manassa Tea Party joyfully reported that the biggest applause line for Jackson at the nomination convention was his proud assertion that “I’m not an African-American, I’m an American.”
Here are some of the delightful things that Mr. Jackson has had to say about, well lots of things.
- He once compared Planned Parenthood to the KKK, apparently buying into the right-wing extremist claim that PPH is designed and devoted to black genocide, one baby at a time. Such of course is sheer nonsense, and given that these same reactionaries are opposed to every and all efforts to feed, educate and maintain with health care these same black babies once born, one can dismiss the argument as sheer hyperbole.
- He of course is also on the band wagon chiming in with the usual House Negro complaint that African-Americans who vote Democratic are nothing but plantation negroes.
- He has claimed that the President has a Muslim view of the world. He gets this weird notion from a speech in which Obama used the term “Muslim world”–a term Jackson claims is “only” used by the Muslim Brotherhood and other radical groups. I mean who can argue with day-care logic of that level?
- He has made claims that gays are “perverted” and “very sick people psychologically, mentally, and emotionally.” He has tweeted that gays are “ikky“. He has said that same-sex marriage will lead to bestiality, claiming Adam and Steve will become Adam and the bull.
- He has asserted that the “Democratic agenda is worthy of the anti-Christ.”
- Jackson maintains that President Obama doesn’t believe in the constitution and is intent upon setting up a lawless dictatorship.
Cucchinelli, who has already been trying to tone down his own TeaFoolish connections to appeal to, you know, normal people, is already apparently claiming that he doesn’t have to defend his new BFF, Jackson. I shouldn’t wonder why.
Normal, rational mainstream Republicans are utterly taken aback. Michael Steele is alleged to have said, “Is the Virginia GOP trying to engage in a ‘How to lose an election 101?'” But not so the crazies. No, they are alive and well. I’ll give you a sample of what the great uninformed and basically stupid are saying:
- E. W. Jackson is an awesome, and highly qualified person. (No relation to Jesse obviously) ( WND) If you didn’t know, Jesse Jackson is the poster child for unacceptable Negro in he Teadrippers pantheon of bad Negroes. JJ plays the “race card” meaning he stands up for African-American rights in a racist world, something that the average Teasniffer disavows as uncomfortably directed at them.
- Love that Ewwwwww Jackson. Just love him. We should just give him all of our white daughters. You know. Cuz whites are all a bunch of immasculated panty-waists thanks to threats of being charged with racism and hate crimes if you ever call a spade a spade or demand equal protection from the most criminal elements in our society. Go ahead. Give him your vote. You won’t be getting your country back by voting anyway. (WND) Have no clue what this person even means. But nobody much suggests that TeaSniffers can write sentences that are understandable.
- Republican principles, however, are centred on individual initiative, freedom, and responsibility, something which ethnics don’t quite understand. (WND) I can only assume that being a House Negro makes you somehow not “ethnic”. Neat trick.
- How long before he is labeled a “token” by the left or “not authentically black” by what qualifies as leadership within the liberal African-American Community? (Breitbart) Ummm, they already did dude. That was back before you ever heard his name and jumped on to make him your new black boy.
- The Tea Party is completely open to having successful and talented Republican black men and women in the party but the Demonrat/Media racist hate machine usually destroys them before we stand a chance. Wait for the flood gates to open on this guy too. It’s probably already started. Hope America wakes up to the evil that is the modern “retroprogressive”. (Breitbart) Oh what is a retroprogressive? I think I might want to be one of those.
- Granted, there were not that many minorities attending, but I’m hoping E.W. will be a bridge to that community.(Breitbart) Yes, it’s a well-known fact that Negroes vote by skin color. No doubt all the fine negroes in Virginia will line up for all the fine things he offers to bring them in terms of policy. Dang, will somebody stop making pigs fly? Or at least not feed them before sending them airborne?
We give to Mr. E. W. Jackson congratulations on his fine winning of the nomination. We hope that all of Virginia will give a warm pot of piss to the TeaBooglers and their racist, homophobic, bible-chewing rhetoric come election day.
- Democratic leaders take aim at GOP pick Jackson’s ‘extreme agenda’ (wjla.com)
- E.W. Jackson for Lieutenant Governor (rightwingliberal.wordpress.com)
- Meet GOP’s fringy new star, E. W. Jackson (salon.com)
- GOP Candidate Compared Planned Parenthood To KKK (huffingtonpost.com)
- African-American Richmond Pastor Rev. Joseph Ellison Says Black Churches Will Stand with E. W. Jackson All the Way Despite Criticism (blackchristiannews.com)
- Black GOP Virginia Lt. gov. nominee stirs controversy with anti-gay views (thegrio.com)
- Getting to know E.W. Jackson (maddowblog.msnbc.com)
- E.W. Jackson explains why it’s not fair to use his own words against him (dailykos.com)
- Have the Republicans Found Their House Negro? (bothwell.typepad.com)