I’m Not the One Who is Crazy

Tags

astroturfers, birthers, deathers, health care reform, NRA nuts, Obama, right wing extremists, The Contrarian

I live in a sea of insanity. I’ve known this for some time. It doesn’t bother me a great deal, since I have lots of safety valve people I can reach quickly to re-establish my sanity when it gets stretched to the breaking point.

It isn’t just in the country at large. It exists in my own home. Some of you have surmised that already. The Contrarian keeps threatening to write a piece on the “sock” issue.

 I quickly learned that pairing socks properly was crucial to Mr. OCD. I opted out of trying. He has a laundry basket, and it’s full of socks. He can pair to his hearts content. It’s got to do with “thicks and thins” and how mixing them together creates “unbalance.” Worse, he now talks of boy socks and girl socks. “Resocking” is a near cardinal sin. I refuse to indulge him in this compulsive nonsense. You can see, insanity assaults me on all sides.

Today, for instance, he pondered as he remoted his way through the news offerings, “are you done cleaning the toilets?”

“Yes, I nearly killed myself from the fumes of trying to combat the rust stains. Don’t mix toilet bowl cleaner with rust cleaner, it seems toxic.”

Ignoring my near death experience, he chimes in, “Good, Tuesdays is the day my bladder is in danger, having to hold it till you get those toilets cleaned. It’s not good for my health, I tell ya. You know I don’t believe in holding things back.” (A whole other story you do NOT want to know about!)

I of course, look at him like he’s just remarked that he enjoyed his morning free flight around the meadow and made a fine three-point landing on the lane. “You got three doors in this house, genius. Open any of them, and pee away.  It would hardly be news. You talk about Bear trying to over pee you when you are working outside. One only wonders what Brandy thinks of all this male testosterone.”

He looks at me as if I have spanked him. “My ear hurts today. It’s that tooth again.” He is determined to get sympathy.

So, you see, I’m so well versed in insanity, that I sometimes take it for granted. I’ve been taking it for granted that the saner but evil heads of the Republican party are well known for tricks the likes of which any Democrat would recoil in shock. We got swiftboated remember guys? This teabagging/birther/deather/astroturfing/socialism-hating/gun-totin’/Nazi-analogizing shouldn’t be a shock. It’s not to me.

See the Evil Heads are EVIL and they got this crazy base of LUNATICS, and they can stir them up easily because the LUNATICS are STUPID, just barely able to read the talking points, which is why they have seminars to speak the directions S L O W L Y.

I don’t know if they thought of it, but the LUNATICS sure did. It’s become fashionable to “strap one on” before going to public debates, just to show that you know, you are ready to “man up” if the socialist/commie Kenyan should get any more uppity.

I heard that Joe the “Not really a plumber” said he thinks that Nancy Pelosi needs a good old fashion slap down behind the barn. Yeah, and he’s ready to give it to her.

So Obama has got all this wrong. There is no talking to these folks. None. It’s doubtful they could comprehend a rational explanation anyway. I mean, it’s too funny really. A recent poll I just heard from Keith Olbermann, (no he didn’t conduct it, merely reported it) suggested that Foxy Noise’s followers come almost exclusively from white southern men, with a few white southern women and a few white men period scattered around the lower forty eight + Alaska.

You can’t reason with people who think that Fox is “fair and balanced” any more than you can reason with someone who claims that MSNBC is either. But nobody much makes that claim from the left about MSNBC. We watch it cuz they reflect our OPINION. The insane right can’t figure out the difference between fact and opinion.

Obama is wrong to keep attempting this “bipartisan” thing. I mean my resident lunatic, Charlie “the grass” Grassley, has admitted that he likely won’t vote for a bill he thinks is good if he fellow Rethugs won’t. I mean he doesn’t see himself as representing me or Iowa, but rather being a good team player with his party.

Adrianna Huffington made a salient point on Olbermann last night. She said, that in the name of bipartisanship, a crap health care reform bill will get passed; one that won’t begin to solve anything and won’t work at all to reduce costs. Then the Rethugs will quickly blame the Democrats for another “government program that doesn’t work.” She’s right.

Howard Dean is right. Forget the damn GOP and put through a real plan to reform health care. If it fails, then you go down, but you go down by a thousand cuts if you compromise away any hope of success anyway. The thing the Rethugs fear most is that the Dems will actually pass a bill with teeth and God forbid, it is successful.

The way around insanity is to medicate it, and failing that, pat it on the head, murmur, “uhuh” a lot,  keep your eyes ever vigilant for acting out, and move on. The rest of us are in need of help and we expect our government to comply with our wishes, and not waste time on the lunatic fringe who can’t get it, won’t get it, and have no desire to get it.  

How about it Mr. President? Stop being Mr. Nice Guy.