Existential Ennui

~ Searching for Meaning Amid the Chaos

Existential Ennui

Daily Archives: August 15, 2009

So Whattaya Learnin’?

15 Saturday Aug 2009

Posted by Sherry in God, poverty, Psychology, social concerns, Sociology

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

empathy, God, homeless, introspection, poor

empathyThere is no point to experience unless we learn something from it that can potentially be applied to a future situation. If each event merely washes over me without apparent effect, then I might as well not have been alive in it.

Wisdom stems from integrating the experience with the past and drawing patterns and relationships that help us to better handle the future. The “handling” may often require changes in how we think and act and believe.

We hope that this processing is beneficial and indeed it would seem to be so. We are a species who at least on the surface seem to learn from our mistakes, though that may be truer in the microcosm than the macro.

If one is a believer, one tends to see God as helping us in the process. And thus I do. It seems that I was led to read a couple of blog posts specifically this week as I processed the events that I talked about yesterday regarding homeless men. Tim at Caught a Glimpse of Jesus down by the railroad tracks. . . . and Tim at Straight-Friendly, both wrote posts on rather different subjects, but both helped me dig within to discover the lessons of my journey with the street poor.  I am as always, deeply indebted to them, to their talents and gifts, in saying  just what  I needed to hear at the right moment.

That God’s fine hand was involved, I have no doubt, but if that is not to your way of thinking, it matters not, nor does it matter that you agree or disagree with the next observation.

Introspection is a valuable tool. It has and can be accused of being over used certainly. People who engage in it can be called “self-absorbed” and selfish and any number of  adjectives which suggest that some people are too busy with themselves and not enough with others. Fair complaint.

Yet, introspection is essential I believe to growth and to becoming wise, since it is only through this device that one can confront oneself head on and see what needs to be fixed or accommodated. It is, I would argue, required if one is to truly know oneself, and thus one’s motives and needs, desires and strengths and weaknesses. It is the only way I know to permanently solve those negative drives that so mess us up.

These moments of looking inward are suffused with God I believe. We begin to search the reasons for our speech, actions and beliefs, and soon we run up against the shadows. God holds us close in those moments, and we feel safe enough to proceed, for we know without asking that God has found us acceptable even in this dark place of the soul.

So as I ruminated about my experiences with giving, I reached some not so nice conclusions. First I realized that too much of the process was about me. I gloried in my “special” offerings, hidden and between God and me. Somehow that was getting translated to me as my being “better,” and farther along the road to saintliness? Pride in a word was at the root of this.

Not the good pride, pride in doing a job well, but pride in BEING better somehow by my selfless actions. I had taken the volunteer endorphin rush and amped it up, causing me to strut a little taller albeit I kept it too myself. I’ve always had an issue with humility. More work for me.

The second issue that really struck me was that I also prided (again that word) myself on my empathy. And I realized that my empathy was of the easy kind. I was empathetic as hell toward folks who were what I wanted them to be, honorable, decent, thrown down through no fault of their own, born into the wrong place or time.

I missed that every human construct of “groups” of people are as broad as the entire panorama of humanity. There are saints and there are sinners. There are those who are where they are through no fault of their own, and those who have had every advantage and made stupid self-indulgent choices that lead them to where they are today. There are selfish and mean people in the mix.

Empathy is most needed toward those who by our standards don’t deserve it. For they too don’t choose to be marching in the wrong direction. Some set of experiences had led them to cope in this way and fairly it may be the only way they know. Empathy is hard and it is hard precisely because it is needed when we deal with those people most unlike ourselves.

Not unlike us in circumstance, and that was my mistake, but sometimes unlike us in how we think and react to the world, how we view it, and our place within it. Like it or not, empathy is not so much feeling at home in the world of the paraplegic who lives down the street, as it is feeling sympathy and understanding toward Osama bin Laden, who once toddled around in diapers and delighted his family with his baby talk.

Don’t get me wrong, empathy is not condoning or making excuses for. It is honoring that everybody does the best they can given their life experiences. Each does what SEEMS right and beneficial to them at every moment. And the seeming can be very different for me and you to understand.

I learned I had a long way to go in the empathy department still. I’m not Mother Theresa quite yet. But I’m working on it. And for that, I am thankful to the homeless men on Blairs Ferry. They taught me a valuable lesson, and I am grateful indeed.

Bookmark and Share

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)

Like this:

Like Loading...

Who We Are

Thinking non-stop since April 15, 1950. We search for meaning amid the chaos.

Giggles

Laugh as Long as You Can

Subscribe

Subscribe in a reader

Donations Joyfully Accepted

Calendar

August 2009
M T W T F S S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Jul   Sep »

Follow Me!

Follow afeatheradrift on Twitter

Facebook

Sherry Peyton
Sherry Peyton
Create Your Badge

Words of Wisdom

The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dream shall never die. ~~Sen. Edward M. Kennedy~~

Recent Posts

  • We moved to Blogger
  • Moving to Blogger
  • Christianist Doublespeak
  • Next Week I’m Gonna Start Biting People
  • Time to Report for Retirement
  • The Best Little Whorehouse in Boulder? Or How I Loved to Learn Republicanese Gangsta Style
  • The Power of the Post
  • The Exceptionalism of the United States of America
  • Can We Stop With the Illegals Shit?
  • I Laughed, I Cried, I Spat Epithets, I Chewed the Rug
  • *Temporarily Asphyxiated With Stupid
  • Are You Having Trouble Hearing? Or is That Gum in Your Ear?
  • Collecting Dust Bunnies Among the Stars
  • Millennial Falcon Returning From Hyperbole
  • Opening a Box of Spiders

A Second Blog

  • Extraordinary Words
  • What's on the Stove?

History Sources

  • Encyclopedia Romana

The Subjects of My Interest

Drop the I Word

We Support OWS

Archives

The Hobo Jesus

Jesushobo With much thanks to Tim
Site Meter

Integrity

Twitter Updates

Tweets by afeatheradrift

World Visitors

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Existential Ennui
    • Join 2,453 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Existential Ennui
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: