I’m not huge on anniversaries and so it may surprise you to learn that we are in the first month of our third year here at AFeatherAdrift. Looking back, it seems like a strange journey, and I’d be hard pressed to read the tea leaves and know where we are headed.
This blog was not my first, and I recall at the start of this one, as with others that I later terminated, I mused about what I might write about.
Truthfully, we all know that people blog for many reasons. Some use it as a journal of sorts, working out therapeutic issues. Others use blogs to keep in touch with far-flung families. Others, have a cause to promote such as knitting or atheism. And then there are those who use their blog to promote themselves, as service or product producer. And then there is me.
Of course I am not unique in kind of wandering around in the blogosphere, fairly unsure most of the time what the “theme” of my blogging is. Writers simply write. So I’ve taken on causes such as the absolute necessity of defeating the Republicans in 2008. I’ve written a fair amount of autobiographical material, and spoken at length of my spiritual journey and what I believe and why.
I’ve too, used this blog to simply blow off steam. Ranting about everything and anything that disturbs, annoys, or delights me. I’ve played with topics, wrote humor because I felt humorous, wrote satire when I felt snarky. I’ve exposed some warts and dared you to still love me.
It all seems quite miraculous that I’ve gained a certain following. It varies but it seems to steadily rise, and its international flavor astounds me sometimes. Because I don’t write as therapy (except when I do), and I don’t write to self promote (so far not a dime!), nor to promote a particular cause (no single-minded passion here), I’m often at some odds as to what I “owe” my audience.
As a writer, with a healthy cadre of readers, do I owe anything but my best effort? Am I by rights supposed to stick with the formula of politics and religion with a smattering of personal ranting? What is the appropriate mix? What do readers expect and want?
As I look over the posts from start to finish, it’s sure taken several turns. The hard posting was the “newspaper” format wherein I searched high and low around the Internet and linked you to the most interesting and important stories I found. The easy posting is simply heaping dung upon the heads of the crazies on the right. The fun posting has been the humorous asides of life in the meadow.
I look upon the efforts of others with some measure of jealousy sometimes. I mean going to so many of your blogs and seeing long posts of well researched work, with a couple of dozen links–well I am in awe. My dial-up plodding makes this kind of work hard, and especially so since I try to post most every day.
Equal praise belong to those who do what I think of as traditional blogging–writing a couple of paragraphs about a news report one has come upon, and doing so several times a day as interest warrants.
I long to think about collecting my work into a book form, but realize that it is so varied, I find it hard to see what commercial success it could be. After all, no doubt you stop by here often, read a paragraph or two, and realize I’m on a subject you have no interest in and so you move on. No harm, no foul. But a book as eclectic as I tend to me, well it would only appeal to a few I fear.
So I sit today, reflecting on the past, and wondering where I’m headed. I’m not at all sure, and not sure what if anything I should change. I’m probably improperly attached to my “following” now and want to insure that I’m meeting general expectations. I mean to say, that it can become all too easy to phone it in as it were, and I admit that a post or two is pretty much that–too tired, too bored, too depressed, or whatever to write something decent or useful.
Perhaps I over think it. And mores to the point, I probably inflate my own importance. My readers are like any one’s I’m sure–they may drift away for weeks or months, only to return. My numbers drop some weeks, and I look over the posts, wondering, “was it something I said?” Again, I doubt it, its just life intrudes upon the best of us, and reading blogs is way down on most lists of essentials to accomplish each day.
But I do ask of you all, if you find things drifting in a direction off the mark from what you expect, then do say something. I can’t promise to change anything, for after all, there is a certain requirement of being true to one’s passion to write what gnaws at the heart and head, but I will reflect on your criticism and see if I’m wandering off the track. For in the end, a writer unread is not really a writer is she?
As the leaves bud out, and the warm air wafts, it’s time to dust off things and begin anew. It’s been a hell of a ride so far, and one I’ve thoroughly enjoyed. I’ve met some of the most lovely people, learned some amazing things, and feel supported and validated by you all. What the future holds, is as they say, any one’s guess. But I’m sure glad we are taking a bit of this journey of life together.
Existential Ennui 