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It truly does start earlier every year, and this year especially we started to see the advertising begin before Halloween. It’s the Christmas season and all is jolly right?
No, not really. No, not at all. In fact it sucks, and the older I get the more it sucks. Bah humbug! That’s what I say.
It didn’t used to be this way. As a child, I thought Christmas the most grand of all holidays. It was the top of the heap, king of the hill, extra best most special, toe-tingling extravaganza imaginable. I recall those exciting times at school, where we could barely contain ourselves that last week before the Christmas break. Then those feverish days and evenings at home, wrapping gifts, shopping with either parent, and oh gosh the pure thrill of picking out that tree, setting it up, and decorating! Every single icicle perfectly draped over the branch, hanging perfectly straight until the whole tree took on a shimmering glow of silver and twinkling lights.
Sleep was full of dreams of Santa and presents. Mostly presents. And they came in dozens for me, an only kid. A kid whose family lived comfortably in the “lower middle class/upper working class” realm. I collected stuff by the truck load, from parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins. It was a veritable bonanza of excess and I reveled in it, unwilling to let the day go, but extending it for several more, nay, through January 1 at least.
There really ought to be a law. It ought to be illegal to let a kid have such wonderful Christmas after wonderful Christmas. Because for most, it simply cannot last, and the fall downward into reality is hard and painful. For me it was complicated by divorce, which left me scrambling between two households each Christmas morn, and worse, both were dedicated to me, and I was sorely aware of that fact as well. I was the prize to be held onto. Who would get me for dinner? Who would get me first?
But in truth, it happens to most of us as we reach adulthood. Now some, who have children, avoid this to some degree. They re-experience the excitement and joy through their kids. But that too can fade, as kids become parents, and then there is another household to placate on this one day. No, the sad fact is that by adulthood, most of us have lost our love affair in reality with Christmas as a secular event.
Are we allowed to let go of the fantasy we have contrived in our youth? Certainly not! Madison Avenue has other more ugly plans. It intends to perpetuate the Ozzie & Harriet, Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, perfection that is known as the Christmas nobody really has, but we all think is the norm for everyone else syndrome.
It starts way too early each year of course. That tantalizing commercial that starts to appear. Diamonds are required of men who are dating or married. That is the only fitting way to show your girlfriend/wife that she is truly beloved. Cars are, well, they are something that REALLY shows you care. But heck, there are other things too, that establish one’s perfect devotion. Chia pets for some, sweaters, slippers, scarves, and oh don’t forget perfume. Beware of things like exercise equipment, kitchen appliances, and other household things. They can be misinterpreted as disguised hints that you aren’t looking your best or cleaning or cooking well.
But don’t just focus on the gift items themselves. Look at the surroundings. People are outside throwing snowballs, dressed in mere sweaters and swanky scarves. Everyone has perfectly coiffed hair, everyone is smiling, everyone is attractive and has perfectly white teeth. Laughter abounds everywhere. All doors have wreaths to welcome the hordes that descend on everyone’s doorstep. Everyone is popular and has oodles of friends and family. Everyone has a piano, and caroling occurs nightly on “Perfect Neighborhood” Street.
Everyone dresses to the nines. All the kids are cute, clean and dressed in finery that would make a grandmother cry with happiness. Everyone drinks responsibly. Everyone decorates with Martha Stewart, with each ornament, a cheap $10 a piece. Only need about 30 of those babes to light up that tree. What is a mere $300 for tree ornaments? Special plates and glassware, matching tablecloths, napkins, and centerpieces round out the decorating finery.
Everyone is shopping and laughing and happy. It’s quite a bit like those delightful “Christmas Villages” you can put together on a big table you buy just for that purpose to wow everyone. Everyone has a train running around the tree too right? Don’t forget that card for the mailman! Don’t forget to cook for a month to get ready. Breads, cookies, pies, cakes, to say nothing of another meal that is to end all meals. We are all so dang happy aren’t we?
Except, except it’s not like that I dare say for most of us. The tree falls over and breaks six very old ornaments one year, you slip and fall on the sidewalk and sprain your back. It’s cold, wet and miserable on Christmas morning, rain washes away the slight sludgy snow that did exist. Parents are divorced, parents die, you are alone in a state where you know nobody at all. You are old, poor, widowed, childless. You are overseas in wars, you are estranged from family because you are gay and they can’t accept it. You are under employed, not employed. You can’t afford to buy your kids all the things they want. Children are sick in hospitals. The stories are endless, but the point is that most people are not surrounded by loved ones and singing carols around the piano on Christmas eve. Nope, mostly its a dull day, that we attempt to brighten up with a string of lights and a turkey.
My point is not to bring people down, but to suggest that Madison Avenue is to blame. I dare say people didn’t expect so much of Christmas before the television showed us this ungodly untrue picture of holiday bliss. They continue to perpetrate it, year after year, making millions of folks miserable as they subconsciously expect and bemoan that they don’t have the Christmas happiness portrayed in every commercial.
Madison Avenue does this to sell stuff. Stuff we don’t need for the most part. That’s all the more reason why they need to make us think we do. But this year it seems even worse than before. This year it seems like a cruel mockery of reality. And I’m not sad, no I am just plain pissed off!
How dare they begin the season before Halloween? Little kids have very little concept of time. It seems sooooooooo long when you are young. Time drags like it is a 1,000 pound ball being pulled by a midget. So thanks on behalf of all parents. Thanks for getting my little ones all geeked up even more weeks ahead of time making them harder than heck to keep in line. Teachers thank you too as they do their best to contain youthful exuberance all geared for presents and chocolate and candy canes.
Oh, and a special thanks since in this putrid economy I can’t buy my kids any where near all the things they have come to expect. Thanks for pointing out to them that “all the other kids” have Nintendo and new computers, and Iphones and Ipods and all the other shiny electronics. Yes they expect that big wide flat screen TV to watch Madagascar on!
Now of course, you can blame this all on me, since I obviously haven’t taught them to regard Christmas as the holy time it is. I have tried you know, but it’s powerfully hard to eradicate all the time you spend teaching them otherwise. You are good at what you do.
I am amazed that that is so, since I find most of your commercial efforts ridiculous in the extreme. After watching one of your gems of enticement, I almost never want to buy the product, but nay, i rather am sure I never will. But still, you must have the charts and graphs to prove that it works. It doesn’t work on me however. I find your commercials supercilious. But that’s just me apparently.
Now I would be enticed should you market your junk this way: Folks, we know times are tough, and you don’t have a lot to spend. We are not going to glut our stores with decorations in this somber time. We are going to set up a place in one corner where we are going to offer you the best prices we can afford and still make a small profit. We are going to offer you some fun items, but mostly stuff you can really use at the best prices. We hope in this small way, we can contribute to making the holiday a bit easier for you and your loved ones.
That will never happen! Anyway, I just wanted to remind everyone that most of us are going to get through the holidays. We aren’t buying much, we aren’t decorating much. We aren’t traveling and visiting. We are just having another day, in which we will fix a pretty nice meal, relax with a good movie, maybe find an item that we can afford together as a gift to ourselves, and that’s it. That’s fine, because you know what? Scores of people don’t even have that. So I’m grateful. I have a loving husband, a roof over my head, food to eat, and pets to enjoy. I still feel bad when I forget that TV doesn’t represent reality. But I remember the truth again.
As Christians this day has another meaning, and I plan to spend plenty of time remembering that, and thinking about what that means to me as how I am to live my life. It’s a good deal more uplifting than watching elves race around Santa land preparing the sleigh. It is a day of hope, peace, and re dedication to qualities of hospitality, friendship, community, and love. Don’t be sad this Christmas if yours fails to meet the Madison Avenue standard. Try to meet Jesus’ standard and it will be enough indeed.
Chani said:
Very good points. Right now, it’s being used as an economic recovery plan. It will probably have the opposite effect as people decide to frame their celebrations differently.
It’s been over 20 years since I’ve had anything to do with it… but I’d really like to see the whole thing dialed down.
~*
Pat said:
A wonderful post, Sherry. I share your sentiments about commercialized Christmas, and try to concentrate on the religious side of the celebration.
Jaliya said:
Great post, Sherry. I’m with you. “Buy, BUY, BUY!!!” is pathetic and meaningless. Most presents are junk; people get themselves stressed to a point where no one wants to sit down for Christmas Dinner with them; children are conditioned to be greedy; we spend all that money, then end up spending the next year trying to pay off all the bills. It’s insane. My husband and I go for quiet, candlelit evenings passed in the company of folks we love … no crap, no dross, no noise.
distributorcap said:
great post
being jewish, but always celebrating the marketing of christmas — it was right out of what capitalism wants
this year is different — NO GIFTS for anyone. what i am doing is donating money to charities in my friends/family’s name who would get a gift — even the kids. enough with the crap i buy all the cousins, nieces and nephews. now is a great time to learn the true meaning and really help people and creatures (I love giving to animal rescue and shelters) that really need it.
thanks for this
Mauigirl said:
Well said. I’m big on “bah humbug” myself. Not having kids, I never got to re-experience it through their eyes and as relatives get older and older it’s just depressing since I don’t even know what to get them anymore since they don’t need anything and if they do I buy it during the year.
I like watching “A Christmas Carol” every year to remind me about the spirit of Christmas. (Since I’m not religious per se!).
QuakerDave said:
Nice job.
What oughta be illegal is skipping Thanksgiving. Yes, I know all that rot about the Pilgrims and the Indians is just that, but the idea of a day set aside for gratitude and reflection upon all of the things for which we should be thankful, to me, has real appeal.
No Christmas music till Black Friday. Ev-ah!
(And here, we watch “A Christmas Story” to get us in the mood.)
Jeannelle said:
I am seconding everything you wrote here in this post. I long for a Christmas season of quietly contemplating the deeper meanings. All that extra stuff that is simply expected that we well be thrilled to participate in…..the extra cooking and baking, the shopping, the decorating, the additional church services, get-togethers…..its a stress I could easily do without. Thanks for articulating it all so well!
Sherry said:
Chani, it just astounds me that the economic recovery is tied to making consumers buy more. That is such an irresponsible position it seems to me. Rather we should be building infra structure, putting people to work!
Sherry said:
Jaliya, I’m with you. We buy “gifts” from Kiva for the few we must buy for, and they are quite happy about it I think. We too spend a quiet day. I was taught to think of Christmas as the great present factory. It’s taken a long time to get away from that idea and not feel sad and forgotten. Thankfully, I seem to have now.
Sherry said:
OH DC, animal shelters! what a fine idea. We give to Kiva which we really love, since its a gift that can be regifted. We just got notified of how much money has been paid back so we can send it out again. Over years, your gift can be quite substantial!
Sherry said:
Pat, I agree. We have lost the message, but that is hardly a new refrain is it? It’s been complained about for probably centuries!
Sherry said:
Maui, yes I know that feeling. We stopped it some years ago, but now I seem to have it again with my husbands brother and half brother. Like I told DC, we do Kiva gifts now, since I found the purchase of “things” just plain stupid. Both families are way more wealthy than we are financially and can afford to buy anything they need or want.
Sherry said:
Dave, I agree, we now place much more emphasis on Thanksgiving, not from a historical place, but as you said, from a more spiritual one of thanks for all the blessings of life. We enjoy it thoroughly. i just get so mad when i enter the stores and hear the music and see the crap, and its only October. Makes me disgusted.
Sherry said:
Jeannelle, ideally I’d like it to be a day of visiting and buffet foods, just visiting around the neighborhood and then a quiet afternoon at home munching some goodies and watching a great movie. Oddly the most moving event I recall was the reading of the Lukan birth narrative on General Hospital each year. I remember that as a kid and thought it was awesome!
Renegade Eye said:
It’s late at night, and I’m going to sleep. I’ll read the post tomorrow.
I will link back to this blog, after Blogrolling.com is fixed. It was recently hacked. I have a list of blogs to add to my Blogroll, and this one was added,
Regards.
Renegade Eye said:
Very touching post.
Church brings a sense of community.
I attend the Unitarian Church. I find it odd, that the congregation is made of children and old, without the in between.
Sherry said:
Renegade. Thank you. It is odd indeed that there is not the 20-40 crowd. But I think that is more true in most churches. We get too busy for God for many years it seems.
PurpleGirl said:
Great post. Being somewhat estranged from my family I began creating my own holiday traditions. I spend Thanksgiving and/or Christmas Eve and Christmas day with different groups of friends. I’ve made them my family. We may or may not exchange gifts but we always enjoy a meal together. We cook ourselves or go out to a restaurant. The important thing is to spend time with people who you want to be with.
Sherry said:
Amen to that Purple girl. It’s always about friends and those who make you happy. There is nothing better than good food and good friends I say. And welcome to the blog. Hope you stop by again.