Existential Ennui

~ Searching for Meaning Amid the Chaos

Existential Ennui

Tag Archives: Essays

The Pool of Humanity

13 Saturday Oct 2012

Posted by Sherry in An Island in the Storm, Essays, Inspirational, Life in the Foothills, New Mexico

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Essays, Inspirational, life in the foothills, New Mexico, swimming

This is where I swim three days a week. I’m sure you could care less about the building, but I thought I should anchor you in a location before I speak further.

 

This is the general look of the interior, with as you can barely see, a “river” that is currented, and further to the back of the picture, lap lanes. There are three irregular pools of surrounding the river, one of them being heated to temperatures that makes it therapeutic. It is here that the water aerobics classes are conducted.

You can see from this that the pool serves a myriad of purposes: the lessons for small children (see the water slide to the left as well as the wading pool in the front right), lap lanes for the physically fit swimmers, the river for those who are out of shape but want to gain some leg strength by strolling with or against the current, and the side pools where Styrofoam “weights” can be used for workouts. The super heated pool is for those in need of healing water therapy and low, easy aerobic exercises used mainly to limber up old bodies. The second floor houses weight equipment and aerobic and yoga classes.

Since I was not “physically fit” I opted out quickly from laps to aerobics, and once I had learned some basic good exercises for training, I went off to a side pool where I now go Wednesday thru Friday to “workout”. Increasingly, I’m able to swim across the small pool several lengths and can circuit the river without being exhausted. Since I don’t play well with others, I find my own workout routine perfect for me.

But that is not what this is about. The pool has become a microcosm of life. It’s most extraordinary. It reminds me to be so thankful for what I can do, for so many are living with so much less.

There are of course the bright-eyed toddlers who revel in the water, being cooed over by doting (it’s always doting isn’t it?) parents and helpful pool personnel who declare “good job” to every successful dunking under water and flapping of limbs. But they are not the story.

I can say without hesitation that most of the folks who frequent the pool are the elderly, in various stages of decomposition. They stretch and groan in delight at the extra warm water caressing arthritic shoulders and knees. They laugh and act like children, led by a jolly old elf who is round as a donut and waddles, but  is undoubtedly hard muscled from four hours a day of “faster!” and “just ten more!” exclamations of authoritative leadership.

Some come in wheel chairs and gingerly walk the long ramp into the water, on legs that are so worn as to be nearly useless but can still traverse a few yards. Others limp and hobble with canes and walkers to the edge, discarding their evidence of fitlessness to enter the realm of fantasy.

Why fantasy? Because the soothing soft delicious kiss of water surrounding one, gives the illusion of weightlessness and grace. One feels like a ballerina able to glide and turn with ease. One feels light, buoyant, free.

The tools of mobility having been cast asunder, limbs act like the limbs of youth.

Later in the locker room, the rude truth wills out again. Bodies sag and wrinkle again. Each looks but doesn’t look at the other, noting better arms, worse thighs, and oh those sagging balloons that once stood proudly upon the chest of a twenty-one year old.

But there is more.

On the river, the serious student trudges against the current, leg weights on, forging calf and thigh muscles made of steel. She passes the couple that is never without a smile, stopping to chat with everyone who will. I learned to smile broadly, say “morning” and keep on trucking lest I waste fifteen minutes in small talk. Also passing are the two rather rotund ladies who keep up a constant chatter for their thirty minutes as they walk as slow as it is possible to while still moving, with the current, and then stop at a nice little coffee shop for a Danish and coffee, congratulating themselves on their commitment to fitness.

A couple brings their intellectually challenged child to the pool and carry her through the water while she periodically shrieks. It is impossible to know whether the shrieks are of joy or terror. It is wild and high-pitched and startles everyone until we all feign ignorance and do not interject ourselves by stares into that life story. Another brings a child in a wheelchair and spend thirty minutes unsuccessfully trying to coax her into the water. This happens every time they come.

A man, over four hundred pounds, struggles to get out of the pool, holding both railings, and taking one step at a time, with an interval of minutes between each. A time in the pool, leaves one feeling utterly weighted down by an extra 200 pounds when you step out and gravity resumes it pull. You wonder if he will return. You note all those seriously obese who have not, or stopped after a couple of weeks.

I’ve met the nicest people here. I am humbled by so many of them. The woman who twenty years ago suffered a massive stroke in childbirth and learned to diaper one-handed, struggles to get in and out of the pool, still burdened with a hamstring that never returned to use and an arm that is useless still. The woman who was nearly bent over with arthritis in her back, who is limber now, but still a widow and lamenting how to climb up high enough to get the cobwebs her husband used to get. The man who walks with a cane and is to say the least, a mass of wrinkled skin dripping off tired bones, who is heading for El Paso for a dinner date with his girl friend later in the evening.

I return home, relaxed, tired, and as I pull in the driveway and Diego races to the car whimpering his welcome, and the Contrarian looks up from his saws and routers and sanders to smile and say “have a good swim?” I consider myself most lucky to be in the shape I’m in at 62.

You can teach an old dog new tricks I learn.

 

 

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Don’t Know Much About History. . .

29 Wednesday Jun 2011

Posted by Sherry in An Island in the Storm, Essays, Humor, Literature, Short Stories

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Essays, Humor, Literature, short stories

I took this photo of my planet just Sunday. My planet is called Morgandilla (More gan D ya) and I am the supreme ruler and Queen. They call me Our Majestic Wise One.

Now, you may not believe me for a minute, but the genius of the Internet, is that I know that I can surely find one hundred human beings among the nearly seven billion who would agree with me. I know this. I don’t have to convince them, and moreover, no amount of scientific/logic/common sense will persuade them that they are wrong in believing me.

This rule of the Internet was learned by a Republican operative many moons ago (and Morgandilla has seven of them should be care to know). They, of course, need to target a much larger group than my one hundred of course to be successful in gaining and retaining power, but the same principle applies. Except they do it backwards.

The GOP figures out who its target audience is, say. . .just for instance,. . .the religious fundamentalist. They discover what it is these people believe. And then the high muckety-mucks of the GOP sat down and had a conversation a bit like this:

GOPer Operative: “I have discovered the beliefs of the fundies grand viziers of the GOP.”

Super Grand Pupon Vizier: “Do tell, minion.”

GOPer Operative: “They believe in the bible as literal truth, as written. They don’t believe in evolution, climate change, or any scientific principle if it conflicts with their interpretation of the Holy Book. They do not believe government programs for the poor. The think the Constitution was written by Christians for Christians, and the bible should govern all government decisions.

 They don’t believe in abortion. They believe that African-Americans (and they don’t like that term–it’s un-American and denotes a black person who is playing the race card) are free enough. They believe that all Muslims are dangerous and are too free in this country. They believe that America is the natural god-given leader of the world, and wars are necessary to preserve that notion.”

Super Grand Pupon Vizier: “But minion, I am a Christian. I haven’t found any basis for most of those beliefs in the bible, and some of them are directly against what I  read in scripture.”

GOPer Operative: “I know sir, but that is what they believe.”

Second to the Grand of Grands: “If we wish to court and win these crazy people, we shall have to tell them that we believe in what they believe don’t you think?”

Super Grand Pupon Vizier: “But it’s blatantly not true, and moreover, rational minds can pretty clearly prove it’s not true. The worst thing a politician can do is get caught telling a lie!”

Third in Line to be a Somebody: “But Grand Pupon, that’s the beauty of this. To them, no amount of facts will ever change their mind. If we agree with their lies, they will love us, and hug us and most important: VOTE for us.”

Ass-Kisser of the 4th Magnitude: “And, and AND, once we convince them that we believe their lies, they will believe anything else we tell them, even though logically it makes them our permanent slaves! They are so used to believing what is not logical, that they will literally give us all their money and future, just because they are so happy to find people who agree with them on these crazy things! We can’t lose!”

Super Grand Pupon Vizier: “Thy will be done, high muckety-mucks! Thy will be done!”

And thus ladies and gents, was born the ability to lie bold-faced, with nary a blinking eye, the most outrageous mush-mouthed clap-trap that ever passed as human discourse.

That is why the history of the US of America now contains these claims made by politicians:

  1. John Quincey Adams was a Founding Father, and worked tirelessly during the revolution as a child to end slavery. ~Michele Backmann
  2. Paul Revere warned the British they weren’t going to be takin’ away our arms, and he was riding his horse and ringing those bells, and firing his gun. ~ Sarah Palin
  3. Because the bad folks don’t want to follow the Constitution, let me tell you about that little part in it that refers to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. ~Herman Cain
  4. American doughboys fought WWII so they could make their own decisions about health care. ~Rick Santorum
  5. The Constitution was written for only one express purpose: to limit the Federal Government. ~Ron Paul
  6. President Roosevelt went on TV in 1929 to explain the greed of Wall Street and the Crash. ~ Joe Biden
  7. The nation that invented the automobile cannot walk away from it. ~Barack Obama
  8. It was here in New Hampshire that the short that was heard around the world was sounded, here in Lexington and Concord, New Hampshire. ~Michele Bachmann
  9. Obama is engaged in a spectacular spending binge, during any peacetime in American history ~Mitt Romney

Oh ain’t it grand, just makin’ it up as ya go along? To suit your own agenda and purpose?

Now we on Morgandilla don’t allow revisionist history. We find it distasteful and unhelpful in staying on the same page. I dictate the true history of our planet while reclining on my Queen couch on my weekly trips there and back.

You may wonder why I bother coming here, since, as you can imagine, everything is pretty darn perfect on Morgandilla. Well, I  enjoy the sport of keeping my writing talents finely honed which only correcting the record on this confused planet, allows me to do.

You may petition for a visit to Morgandilla for the small fee, of $4,322 American dollars, food and all amenities included,  window seat extra.

Until I have more pearls of wisdom to offer. . . .signing o u t.

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From Sling-Shot Gliders to Weeping Camels

24 Friday Jun 2011

Posted by Sherry in Inspirational, LifeStyle, Literature, Sociology, War/Military, World Wars

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Camels, Essays, gobi desert, inspiration, lifestyle, Mongolia, New Guinea, Story of the Weeping Camel, WWII

I long ago learned that if I were to talk politics every day, my head would explode. I want things done now and usually my way. That seldom happens in the political sphere, so I am often frustrated and well, to be honest, freakin’ mad at the idiots that stand in my way of utopia.

So I often engage in learning about things that are far from the land of Washington D.C. Which explains why we often watch weird stuff on TV. It’s pure escapism from the slow-as-molasses moving of a progressive agenda.

And, learning can be a humbling experience. Take last night.

Jon Stewart had a guy, Mitchell Zuckoff on, who wrote a book about a plane crash in New Guinea. Only three survived out of 24. This, during WWII. A group of paratroopers was sent in, but there was no way to land a plane nor walk out. Eventually parts of a glider were air dropped in, and a set of goal posts erected, between which was strung a giant rubber band. The glider was affixed somehow, and a low-flying plane with a hook, captured the band, and catapulted the glider over the mountains where it landed safely.

I kid you not. The glider was named Faggot, and such planes were universally known as flying coffins. One person from that group is still alive today.

If that isn’t incredible enough, I offer you the documentary called “The Story of the Weeping Camel“.

For this we travel to the Gobi desert into the land of the Mongols, who live in round portable houses called Gels and raise camels, sheep and goats. Life is harsh but seemingly happy. The people subsist mostly on camel’s milk with a bit of meat.

All is well. The female camels are dropping their babies. The mothers are tied up so that assistance can be rendered if necessary. All goes well until the last of the expectant mothers finally begins to give birth. It is apparent that she is having a somewhat rare white colt. He is big, and the men help in pulling the gangly babe free.

This is her first birth, and given it’s difficulty, she is decidedly not interested in the colt. Days go by and she makes every effort to evade his attempts to nurse. Of course the family (four generations) offer as much help as possible, milking the mother and trying to get down enough to keep him going. When let loose, the colt follows the mother relentlessly, but she will have nothing to do with it.

A discussion is held by the men, grandfather, father and son. Of course there is only one solution–an ancient ritual, but alas there are no near neighbors of the desert who play violins (or what passes for that in Mongolia–generally a three-stringed instrument that looks more like a guitar).

A trip must be made to the “Centre” what appears to be a smallish town-trading center, one serviced with electricity and a certain modernity. The oldest boy (about 12 or 13) and his brother (about 7) set out on camels to locate a violin player.

They stop at a lone neighbor part way for refreshments. These folks have a satellite hook-up and the younger boy is mesmerized by the cartoons being shown on the TV. A truck and motorcycle are also evidence that the two are closer to “civilization.”

After being told to follow the power lines, the boys finally arrive at the Centre. Crowds of youngsters play games in the dirt around dozens of Gels and wood frame buildings. The boys apparently find relatives and tell them of their needs. An aunt (or equivalent older woman) leads them to the school, where a dance class is interrupted to locate the musicians. Second floor it is. The violin teacher is located.

The boys return home and advise that the teacher has much work, but will come. Indeed, he arrives aboard a motorcycle and the ritual soon begins.

A woman, wife to the youngest adult male and mother of at least one child, begins to caress the tied-up camel mother. She begins to sing in a three-tone voice that goes on for a few minutes. Then the violinist joins her, and the song continues for some time. The colt is slowly brought forth. The mother noses it, and looks off to the horizon.

The colt is urged to the teat, and all hold their breath, as the singing and playing continue. The colt begins to nurse, and for the first time, the mother does not try to walk off. The camera zooms in to her eye, and a distinct tear forms, and then more, until her eye is flooded with water.

The colt drinks his fill. Quietly the song ends, the woman moves away, the violin stops, and the family who has remained at a respectful distance, smiles and congratulates each other on the success of the ritual. Mother and colt are left alone, the mother now solicitous of her child, nuzzling and watching over him.

So.

We who are so filled with our exceptionalism can but shake our heads and remember that there is more in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our “civilized” philosophies. With much apology to Shakespeare, I remember again, that this world is full of so much that we do not understand, and are in our arrogance too “smart” to realize.

May you find something amazing in your life today that makes you stop and ask, just how much is still wonder in the world we inhabit?

 

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Wisdom Wisps

02 Wednesday Mar 2011

Posted by Sherry in Essays, God, Inspirational, Literature, Non-fiction, Philosophy, theology

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

Essays, God, philosophy, theology, wisdom

I think about wisdom. Perhaps more than the average person. It’s hard to tell. It’s not something that is a great conversation item.

Some years ago, I realized that perhaps more than anything else, I’d like to be wise. Wise in the sense that people wanted to listen to me.

But I’m not wise, nor, I suspect, will I ever be so. You see, the people who I consider to be wise listen more than they speak. And I’m the antithesis of that.

I’m convinced that wise people become wise because they listen. They absorb the wisdom nuggets of others. They also read a lot. I read a good deal, but not a lot. Not as much as I should.

I consider Socrates wise. But he was wise in realizing that he didn’t know much. His wisdom was, through questioning, showing others that they didn’t know very much either. In some sense, he invented the idea of true serious thought, deeper than the surface–probing, winding, turning, backing up, circling.

It’s hard not to think of Buddhist monks and Indian yogis as wise. They sound wise. Perhaps it’s because they say things that I don’t quite get, and I equate wisdom with statements that puzzle me. So, I’m not sure.

Lots of people, mostly dead, seem wise to me. Henry David Thoreau for instance. He said two things I never forgot:

“Most men live lives  of quiet desperation.”

I think that is one of the truest and saddest things I’ve ever read. We all live encased in armor, a total mask. Presenting ourselves as “normal” when inside I suspect most of us are very unsure of most everything. And that frightens us.

“I went to the woods to live deliberately.”

I don’t think you have to go to the woods, but every hermit, every monk, everyone who is serious about their spiritual journey knows that isolation is essential, if only for a few minutes a day.

Thomas Merton was wise I believe, but perhaps in some sense what we define as wise is that which we believe is true. For the same reason I think Lakota healer and visionary, Nicholas Black Elk was wise.

The bible speaks a lot about wisdom, and addresses wisdom as female. Sophia. That’s a nice thought, wisdom being the female aspect of God. Yet, I don’t think of God as having “aspects.” I see God as an integrated whole, a singleness, not a duality or triad. These are human constructs designed to help our minds understand the transcendent quality of the Godhead. At least so I believe.

The dictionary suggests that wisdom is the ability to discern what is right and true. Philosophically it is defined as the “best use of knowledge.” The problem with this, is that again, it seems to be in the eye of the beholder.

A Cameroon proverb says of wisdom:

The heart of the wise man lies quiet like limpid water.

That seems to confirm that wise people aren’t big talkers.

We watch a television show called An Idiot Abroad. It’s produced by Ricky Gervais, a real favorite of mine, and is about the travels of his friend “Karl”. Ricky refers to Karl as a moron, an idiot. We were unsure of watching, since we surely had no desire to laugh at the goings on a person who had mental defects.

That was not the case. Karl is completely normal mentally. He’s just a simple home town boy, sent a travel across the globe. And he says rather funny, but often quite wise things.

“It’s better to be an ugly person and to look at good-looking people, than to be good looking and have to look at ugly people. “

Isn’t that true? Karl drops little pearls like that. Yet, Karl is not wise by any standard I know.

Which means that even rather simple average people can drop a wise bomb from time to time.

Sometimes people refer to a young child as a “very old soul.” I’ve never met one myself, but I assume that they mean that the child says things that are wise “beyond his years.”

The Contrarian is wise a good deal of the time, about a lot of things. He’s worth listening to. He once met a kid, still a teenager who had quit school. He found it worthless. He left home, and made his way as best he could. Most of his time he spent in the library, reading. He was probably wise then, and no doubt is even wiser today.

I know a couple of my Internet friends, one I’ve known a long time, another I’ve just “met.” Both write exquisitely. Tim, many of you know, from Straight-Friendly. The other is Paul and many of you may not yet visit his blog. You should it’s called Cafe Philos. They make me think, more than I want to sometimes.

I think wise people have an open mind. About everything. Nothing is sacred, so to speak. Everything is up for grabs. Some things, over time, are probably true, but the door is always a bit ajar, just in case something new comes along that causes a need to re-evaluate.

I’m good at this too.

Now if I could only shut up long enough to work on that listening thing. With Lent approaching, I guess perhaps I’ve found at least one of my Lenten practices. How about you?

Related Articles
  • Lessons From the Old Testament: Seeking Wisdom (thimblefulloftheology.wordpress.com)
  • 7 Qualities of Wisdom (familysynergy.wordpress.com)
  • Wisdom: What it is, what it isn’t (sacredlessons.wordpress.com)
  • Karl Pilkington (pepsoid.wordpress.com)
  • Wisdom (crossquotes.org)
  • The Yoga of Wisdom (pepperspractice.wordpress.com)
  • Native Wisdom For White Minds (wonderingpilgrim.wordpress.com)

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You Can’t Process me with a Normal Brain

01 Tuesday Mar 2011

Posted by Sherry in Editorials, Essays, Individual Rights, Media, Satire, The Wackos

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

editorial, Essays, unions, wacko media

So says Charlie Sheen. You can process me with a normal brain I think. I’m sane. Charlie is not. Sad to see him falling apart in front of the public. I’d guess bi-polar, but I’m not an expert, I’ve just known a couple of them as good friends.

Frankly, it’s hard to process much of anything going on in the world these days with a normal brain. It all seems otherworldly if I may borrow from science fiction. I mean, I don’t recall any of the prognosticators mentioning a Sarah Palin, a Middle East explosion of freedom seeking people, a dictatorial governor who bows to business as his only god.

Last night we watched a PBS offering on the Triangle Fire, back in the early 1900’s. Over a hundred women died in a fire where they made shirtwaists (blouses). The conditions, of course, were unsafe, the exits were locked to prevent women from “using the bathrooms during working hours”, and they were on the 8th floor. Many jumped to their deaths, others fell down the only working elevator shaft.

Most of the shirtwaist factories in NYC had unionized. There had been city-wide strikes. But not the one in the Triangle building. The owners would not budge. So they couldn’t bargain for any safe working conditions. A  few pails of water were all that were provided should a fire occur. It was not enough. Fire trucks arrived, but their ladders only went to the sixth floor.

These women were paid two dollars a day, and out of that they paid for their thread, needles, and any “mistakes”. The unions garnered other women in other factories, fair wages, safer conditions, limitations on child workers, and myriads of other things. The fire so incensed the public that dozens of new laws were passed to address the ills of unfettered business practices.

Anyone who thinks that they can “bargain” individually with their employer absent a strong union presence in the country is simply deluding themselves. Sure, you don’t have to be unionized, but unions set the standards that other businesses must in the end adhere to. Without unions, we will regress to those awful times when people worked outrageous hours, under outrageous conditions, for a mere pittance of remuneration.

People like to point to Henry Ford as someone who paid good wages to his workers. And indeed, they were good, for their time. Something like five bucks an hour. What they don’t know are two things. Ford only paid the extra monies in a lump sum at the end of the year, (conditions were so lousy on the line that workers quit at a horrendous pace), and Ford did it so that his workers could buy his car, the Model T. His own wealth you see was what motivated him, not any benevolent feeling for those he employed.

With almost no exceptions, business is about itself. It will NEVER give a damn about workers or consumers (other than to cater to what they think will make you buy the product–what it might do to you in the long run is of NO interest to them).  If unions in this country are destroyed as the Republican Party desires (being stooges for the business elite), then slowly but surely, wages will drop, everything that costs anything will be passed onto the worker. Benefits will be cut and cut and finally disappear. Pensions? No money for that.

I know I speak to those already convinced of these things. It is the sad workers whose glazed eyes and ears are glued to Fox and Rush  and Glenn and all those who lie to them, claiming that union workers and their fat contracts are another of a growing list of “others” who are keeping from them what would otherwise be theirs. Muslims steal their safety, Mexicans  steal their jobs, union workers steal their raises, and African-Americans steal their taxes with welfare grants. Fox keeps up the chant, “You could make it in America, if not for “them.”

And them is embodied in one person. Barack H. Obama. He is the very face of OTHER. And they hate him, hate him with a venom I’ve seldom seen. And Rush and Glenn walk out the door, breath deeply, and go off to a gourmet meal at some high-priced restaurant, laughing at the masses who follow their blatherings. And make plans for a trip to the seaside home where they sip martinis and hobnob with their wealthy leaders.

Well, that’s the way I see it anyway.

***

I got some inspiration about a new way of doing some enchiladas. Velveeta of all things. I know, sounds kinda gross. But if it turns out I’ll give you a recipe. Nothing horrifically original, just a blending of a few recipes I had in my head. Ain’t experimentation fun? I feel sooooo creative! lol.

***

My webpages for WordPress are really funky, so I truly hope this posts. I hate losing all my thoughts!

Related Articles
  • “Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire: Some basic information” and related posts (theboweryboys.blogspot.com)
  • Jackie K. Cooper: “The Triangle Fire”: An American Tragedy (huffingtonpost.com)

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Christmas Day the Next Page

24 Thursday Dec 2009

Posted by 1contrarian in Inspirational, The Contrarian

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Christmas, Contrarian, Essays, God, grace, Vietnam

In 1970 my friends and I were getting grossly drunk on Christmas Eve. I make no apology for that. I was in Vietnam and there was to be a Christmas Truce. Since we would have no “work” the next day, we were giving ourselves the gift of a few hours of oblivion from the tedium and trials of a never ending year. At midnight the sounds of “Silent Night” started to come over the airfield speakers, sung by the congregation of the post chapel.

Eerily, everything else became quiet. First those on guard in the bunkers (because they were more sober), and then everyone else joined in.  As the verses went on, and the words became less familiar, the unsolicited singing tapered off into murmurs. The choir finished with a beauty I can find no words to put to measure.

I have had my highs and lows, my good Christmases and bad, before and since. Still, I can think of no isolated five-minute period of my life that captures the duality of life so clearly. I have never been so acutely homesick, miserable and lonely, as in those few minutes, but I also felt a Community of Spirit larger than all others.

Love can be defined as “a joining with another, or others, in a mutual experience so powerful no words can depict it, and for which no words are needed.” I have never been in such a large group of complete understanding, as when I looked around at the faces of the five or six guys who were drinking with me. We spent a few moments in complete silence, each knowing there was no way to describe the intensity of our wants, and that while the specific wants were different, the intensity of the hunger was the same.

The turmoil between joy and sorrow is the drama of life. Without conflict there would be no prose or poetry. It is not easy to see the positive in the midst of the negative. Clouds remain clouds until a person is capable of penetrating them to find the silver lining. However, I would offer, sad stories only remain sad because the teller or the listener does not finish.

There can always be hope if we are allowed to turn the next page of life. No matter your religion, the story of the First Christmas is one of gloom if you do not read past the Day of the Cross. An innocent baby born, lives a good life and dies in pain and ridicule, because of misunderstandings and prejudice. Hardly a plot I would presume to base one of the world’s major religions on.

But our existence tells me that that story is not finished. The great gift of the Christmas story is that each of us gets to turn our own page to tomorrow.

It is hard not to think of gifts at Christmas time. I have been given many wonderful things. I am never at home unless I can quickly point to an object and say “this or that marvelous person gave it to me.” But I have been given further gifts, so portable, that if I am wise, I should never lose.

Those are moments of understanding I have felt with another. Sometimes to grand they can hardly be hinted at. Sometimes fleeting and beautiful in their smallness and words become too ugly and large.

I have seen others laugh or cry at words I have laughed or cried at while writing. I have shared a silent laugh with another over an inappropriate body noise. I have felt the comfort of another sleeping in my arms, and I know the comfort of Grace. I have the  knowledge that while I was not my best yesterday, or today, I am free to be better tomorrow.

Blessings to all.

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Don’t Palinize Me!

23 Sunday Aug 2009

Posted by 1contrarian in Essays, Humor, The Contrarian

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Essays, Humor, The Contrarian, toothaches

 

 

toothache

 

 

Some of the recent posts on A Feather Adrift have caused me to feel real sympathy for Sarah Palin. To be unfairly smeared by an obviously left leaning blogger is not pleasant. I ask that Sherry honor our men and women in uniform and “quit making things up.” In the mean time I think it important to set the record straight.

First I will address the issue of sock sorting. Sherry’s idea of sorting socks is to just separate them from the rest of our clothing. I am a morning person and like to hit the day running, but first I must find a proper pair of socks. To secure a match I must dig through a wicker basket large enough for a pony to nap in. I have socks in there that are full and fluffy and only washed once or twice. I also have socks that are just waiting to be put on so my big toe can poke through. This is what I describe as the dilemma of ‘thick and thin’. Everyone who has seen the movie “Flight of the Phoenix” (the original; the one with Jimmy Stewart) knows that most humans have a dominate leg as well as a dominate arm. Without the aid of a compass a man would wander in circles in the desert. I think it dangerous to compound this natural frailty by throwing a thick and thin sock into the mix. Even worse, recently Sherry has purchased some socks very similar to mine. So now I must delay the start of my busy day by sorting boy socks and girl socks as well as the thick and thins. I won’t horrify the readers by telling them how many times I have been forced to delay the start of my busy day by resocking.

My second area of discussion will be about the Surgery. I know Sherry told the story as if it were just about a sore tooth. The paper work I got from the dentist did not distinguish between oral surgery and tooth extraction. Therefore I must assume they are equal in severity. Henceforth I will just use the former while discussing the saga of the tooth. Modesty makes it difficult for me to admit that I am an extremely stoic person. Sherry shortens the suffering I endured, because I spared her from the majority. Rather than two or three days of my tooth bothering me, I remember two or three weeks of blinding pain.

Before I go on I would ask the younger readers to get their parent’s permission to read further. There is no way to tell this story accurately without rating it R for violence and adult language (sadly no nudity or sexual content is needed).

Sherry called,  and an appointment to see a dentist was made. When we arrived the usual stupid paper work had to be filled out. All the while this was being done Sherry was complaining how uncomfortable the chairs were. I patted her of the head and tried to reassure her that everything would be fine. Then she noticed that the dentists had a collection of animal skulls on the wall. She is sensitive and of course this upset her. I would have reminded her of the real reason we were there, but the blood from biting my tongue made it too difficult to speak. After the required hour my name was finally called.

First there was the X-ray, which wasn’t too bad. I was in a small room by myself and it didn’t take all that long. Then I was led into the main dental area. It is one huge room with scores of chairs separated only by small bath-towels suspended from the ceiling by wires. The room was filled with the unholy sound of the high speed dental drills, the anguished moans of the patients, the smell of burning bone and calcium, and the laughter of the staff. One can’t fault Dante for his failure to perfectly describe hell. Modern dentistry had not been developed while he lived. Through all of this I am being led by a twenty three year old chatter box, who just got a new puppy. Normally I’m very good at nonverbal communication. I have been told that I have the ability to yell without speaking. My pain and the swelling of my face must have disabled this ability. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get through to this gal that I was really not interested in the story of her eight-week-old Great Dane getting sick and throwing up on her pillow.

The next usual hour passed and the dentist finally made his appearance. He glanced at the X-ray and said the tooth would have to be pulled and walked away. Chatter box told me how much everything would cost for the examination, and as an after thought asked; “Did you want to have the tooth pulled today, or do you want to make another appointment?” “Today”, I gurgled with my bloody tongue. Another half-hour wait and even more stories about that rascally Great Dane, before the dentist made his way back.

 He jabbed around in my mouth with some kind of hypodermic harpoon, and then left again saying; “We have to let that soak in for a while.” I have to be honest and tell you readers, after the Novocaine began to work I didn’t mind the chatter boxes stories about the future Marmaduke. The dentist’s idea of “letting it soak” was to chat with the office staff for forty minutes until the Novocaine had nearly worn off. He then came back jabbed around with the harpoon again and without a word of warning ripped out a part of my body.

I feebly make my way to the waiting room and we pay the bill, all the while Sherry continues to complain how uncomfortable the chairs have been and how unsettling all the skulls were. Sherry then decides we must fight traffic and go to WalMart for my pain medication. Even thought there were at least three drugstores that could have been hit by a strong man throwing a rock from the parking lot of the dentist. A half-hour later when we get to WalMart Sherry says quite sternly “You wait here, I’ll fill the prescriptions.” After forty minutes the Novocaine wore off, I was in real pain, and I was suspicious Sherry was shopping for more than drugs. My normally patient persona had evaporated. I’m not sure if the young man parked near us thought I suffered from Tourette’s syndrome or I was Glenn Beck contemplating how much I loved this country. I’m sure he thought something because of all my twitching, cursing and the tears running down my swollen face. Of course Sherry was innocently standing at the Pharmacy counter when I went in to check on her. Although she did have a large box of peanut- brittle for me.

Even though the pain medication was merely medium strength, I have been able to compartmentalize the pain. I still suffer, but do so once again in silence. I am happy to report dear readers, that the surgery was successful. I have taken myself off the critical list and am happy to report my condition as ‘stable, but guarded’. I still think I need to continue to avoid ‘excessive activity’ as the paperwork from the dentist required.

One might wonder how Sherry and I get along when our view of reality is so different. Let me tell you this; Sherry has brought many wonderful things into my life. The joy of hearing her laughter. The taste of the wonderful meals she prepares. Companionship, etc. etc. Yet the most important thing about Sherry and my relationship is not the many things she has given me, it is something she has taken away. My loneliness. A couple of autumns before I met Sherry I wrote the following piece.

Depression 

With each pass of the moon/

Dark deepens and the night grows longer.

I would cry foul!

But I know not the Referee,

Or the Maker of the rule.

 

Tempest tossed and tried,

Mettle tested and strengths bested,

Wants wanting and voids left void.

Little doubt life’s not just dreary;

But most times cruel.

 

Sweet bats of memories/

Hang inverted in the cavern of my life.

Cold — dim-Fall;

Contrast of seasons of happiness;

That were but are not

 

The Hollow-days are upon me,

Merchants quarter-hour reminders/

Of parts of me beyond my sphere.

People gathering to laugh and love,

Lonely —- I sit and rot.

 

Moving, talking, doing;

Any of these can shorten the sentence.

Fear, anxiety and desperation/

Are some of the many things/

That rob me of my choice.

 

Even these bleak words/

Are from the struggle of my way out.

From the bottom of the abyss,

I am only able —

To scream without a voice.

 

Sherry has so effectively removed the loneliness of my life that while I have the intellectual memory of writing that, I have no emotional connection to the pain that prompted it. I don’t say that all my memories are wonderful, or even good. I simply say that Sherry has made them all better. Simply said; A clown can make you happy, but your soul mate will make your life happy.


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