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I find myself strangely depressed the last few days, and it seems incongruous to me, given the beautiful weather we’ve been having. I’m very driven by weather I’ve learned. So it’s been puzzling to find myself fairly lethargic lately.

In trying to figure out why, I’ve come to the conclusion that two things are wearing heavy on my heart: the Gulf coast tragedy and the ongoing sadness of those in our parish family who are struggling with major health issues. Our deacon’s daughter is struggling with a deep brain injury, from an accident several weeks ago, and the road to recovery will be a long one. The Gulf coast, as we all know, will be effected by the oil spill for decades probably.

I think mostly, I feel helpless in the face of these two events. There is nothing much I can do. I pray. Everyday. At least against the oil spill, I can vent my anger, since there is a lot of blame to go around.

But, countering that, I’ve been nudged by a couple of other folks. Fran, from There Will be Bread, in a post I recall reading on FB, indicated that she wanted to move into a more positive mode, celebrating where we could join together, rather than emphasizing differences. I’m always superbly uplifted by Jan of Yearning for God for the same reason. It’s always about good stuff there, ways to connect with the divine and happy references to happy dogs.

Of course there is always Tim at Straight-Friendly for honest and beautiful inspiration. And there is for sure a smile whenever Jim at OkJimm’s Eggroll Emporium decides to set down his beer and take up his pen.

Another blog was pointed out to me by the folks at WordPress the other day. A “blogging success story” that I guess gives all of us who really love this writing business, hope. Like Ree Drummond, who has gone from family blogging to national recognition and a new cookbook, with stops at GMA and The View, via Pioneer Woman, Neal Pasricha has zoomed to the top of the heap with his blog 1000 Awesome Things. There is now a book out, and no doubt more to come. Neal claims that he started his blog to find something good and uplifting to help him keep a positive outlook.

I’ve been realizing lately that I’ve been slowly but surely gravitating more to blogs that have something solid I can hang onto, something that tells me more about life and living it well. It’s not to say that I am off the political spectrum. For indeed I find the likes of Tom at Politics Plus, and Dcap at distributorcap NY forever funny, informative, and witty.

Please also note, that in featuring these particular blogs, I don’t mean to slight dozens of others that I follow daily or near daily and appreciate for their inspiration and/or political acumen. These are just the first that came to mind.

What does all this mean? Oh, nothing in particular. I’m not thinking to alter this blog much if that is what you were thinking. I just realized that perhaps when I seem in a rut of rant, or in constant self-analysis in which I usually come up short in my own estimation, it may be time to turn the tables to stuff that is a bit lighter.

I was caught up yesterday in watching the news. The entire weekend has been filled with tributes, and remembrances of veterans, and well it should. However in this household, those thoughts are close at hand most all year, and the constant reference to death and dying is especially wearing. But a woman, spending her Memorial Day with her son at Arlington Cemetery, remarked that she and her family had always “celebrated” the holiday, but now it was celebrated in a very different way.

I realized that that happened to me, without much recognition when I married the Contrarian nearly eleven years ago. It is somber, not a day for play. We do fix a good deal of food and enjoy that, but the day itself is quiet. For us, the constant though understandable references to veterans is tiresome and painful. It recalls for my husband memories he has struggled a near lifetime to forget.

Perhaps that is why I am at odds with myself and the world today. Too much weekend. And the damnable turkeys are still attacking our garden, nipping a pepper plant here and there. And the mosquitoes have radar tuned to me, making it hard to be outside. I am constrained to live with tons of OFF which no doubt is not healthy, but at 60, I figure to die of something else before that cancer matures.

So, here’s to sun and light breezes, and waking up to a cacophony of music in the trees as a dozen varieties of bird greet the day. Here’s to good food, good beds, good movies, and happy pets. Here’s to yawns and fresh coffee brewing. To not having to wear sweaters and socks and caps to keep your ears warm. Here’s to barbecue and pasta salads, and good friends. Here’s to equality and justice and compassion and empathy. Here’s to fresh water and rain forests, and sunrises and sunsets. Here’s to love, and forgiveness, and curiosity. Here’s to companionship, and passion. Here’s to life, good, bad or otherwise, for it changes tomorrow, never give up hope in that. This Bud’s for you! (Frankly I hate Bud, being a Dos Equis person myself-but you get the point.)

Peace and God Bless

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