Whatever He said. . . .I Say the Opposite

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1st Amendment, Bryan Fischer, creationism, David Barton, economy, God, GOP, Individual Rights, Iowa, Libya, Muslims, Newt Gingrich, revisionist history, taxes, teabaggers, theology, unions, US Constitution, Wisconsin

This is the GOP mantra, and has been since the day after the 2008 election. Whatever the President says or does or doesn’t do, they immediately say the opposite. It’s the last part that keeps getting them in trouble.

Latest case in point:

Newty (the garden slug) Gingrich just can’t make up his mind on what to do about Libya. When we were doing nothing, he was for the US to step in. When we did, he was against it.

He said we could take care of the whole problem with air-power. Until we used air-power then he said it was a typical politician’s error to think that air power solves all problems.

In the end, Newt admits that his answers to these questions are simply “responses to what the President does.”

Ya see Newt, when the president doesn’t do something, and you say he should, it’s really bad form to then say he shouldn’t have. And then before he has done something, don’t tell him how he should do it, because when he does it, and does it that way, you end up saying he should know better not to do it that way.

Is this an Alzheimer’s moment Newt? Or are you just the hateful vindictive, wannabe that we really think you are?

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Help! Infection alert!

Decontamination areas are being set up all over Iowa in anticipation of the likely bacterial infection set to enter the state.

Tomorrow gadzillions (make that a few dozen) really creepy and crazy people are set to have a day-long conference in Des Moines about who should be the GOP candidate. All manner of sleaze is attending, including M. Bachmann (crazy eyes), H. Barbour (racism is behind me), H. Cain (uncle Tom’s cousin), N. Gingrich (garden slug), R. Santorum (wontcha love me again?), J. Bolton (the stash is my cash), and well others.

All rational humans are urged to get a shower and take the recommended dosage of Tylenol to forestall bouts of insanity. Symptoms include itchy skin, double vision and the uncanny feeling that you’ve been hijacked by aliens. See a veterinarian immediately if you have any of the above.

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I just love ‘strict constructionists. You know who I mean, those folks that want our country returned to its Founding Father principles, the C O N S T I T U T I O N. Now what they actually mean by this is something you might not quite get, if you ain’t one of them.

Cases in point:

Bryan Fischer, AFA leader and all around hater of everything not white and fundamentalist, claims that the 1st Amendment right to freedom of religion, does not include any rights for Muslims, since the FF could not have had them in mind. Why we don’t know, but he says that we give them rights as a “courtesy” only.

David Barton, pseudo-historian and all around wacko nutjob who shleps for the GOP and it’s business elites, has explained that the Declaration of Independence is “nothing more than a list of sermons” which might surprise Thomas Jefferson. Further the Constitution was written directly out of the Bible, and that all leads up to the fact that Jesus was and IS against the minimum wage and well anything that corporate America doesn’t find conducive to racking up profits.

Sadly, people actually get in their cars, travel to auditoriums, sit their skinny butts in chairs, and listen to this drivel, rather than say, pop popcorn and watch Monty Python’s Holy Grail. I kid you not.

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Texas has been in the business of late in revising the history of the US of A, to reflect whatever it wants to be the truth. This is not news. Bill Zedler, Texas Rethuglian legislator, introduces a bill to make it “illegal to discriminate against creationists.” Yes, and next he plans to introduce one that makes it illegal to discriminate against stupid people. In both cases that would be him.  [h/t to Crooks and Liars]

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Discover Magazine has an interesting article, entitled “Does the Universe Need God?” This is an excerpt from a larger article, and there is a link to that. This is a thoughtful reasoned argument, not the usual atheistic meanness that we’ve come to see from to many. I don’t agree with the argument, but I find it cogent and worth considering.

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Ever heard of William Cronon? I hadn’t. No reason I should. He’s a university professor at Wisconsin, and well-respected by his peers in his area of expertise, that being history. He recently did an op-ed piece in the NYTimes on the recent union issues in Wisconsin, and was critical of the Governor and Republicans who would try to take away long-standing collective bargaining rights of Wisconsin citizens.

Well, that pissed off the GOP, and it, the state GOP that is, has launched a legal action to get to his e-mails to uncover whether they can prove that he’s been active in protests. This all aimed to of course intimidate and discredit him. This is what I guess the GOP calls democracy. We call it Joe McCarthyism. How low can you limbo Wisconsin GOP? [h/t to Daily Dish]

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I know you all read Moe at Whatever Works, and I’m stealing this “entire” post, but she posts usually several a day, so please don’t miss her stuff. She does a great job of keeping us all aware of all the nefarious goings on, everywhere. But this is precious and so true:

“Other than telling us how to live, think, marry, pray, vote, invest, educate our children and, now, die, Republicans have done a fine job of getting government out of our personal lives.”
                                                         – Editorial Page, Portland Oregonian 

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It’s leftovers today!

Related Articles

• American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer: Deny First Amendment Rights to Muslims (littlegreenfootballs.com)
• “Obama derangement syndrome, Newt Gingrich edition” and related posts (mnpublius.com)
• Wisconsin university critic of Walker gets a Velderman. (preaprez.wordpress.com)
• My World’s Collide (talkingpointsmemo.com)
• Scott Walker’s Office Seeks Access to Critical Professor’s Email (blogs.forbes.com)

Just Stand up for Mediocrity!

Tags

Rep. Michele Bachmann, Rep. Steven King, Rick Perry, Sarah Palin, Sen. James Inhofe, US Congress, US Constitution

I’ve been looking through the Constitution again. I say again, since given what some politicians say, I’m constantly having to recheck things I thought I knew.

I can’t find where it says that every state shall have at least one bona fide asshat representing his or her fair state in the Congress. I know it must be there, since it seems  if you look carefully enough that is what you will find. That surely can’t happen by mere coincidence can it?

This requires, it seems to me, that the absolute wingnuttiest people in any given state must congregate pretty much in the same area, at least the same congressional district. That seems easy enough perhaps, but I don’t know what test the state uses to make this determination, and I sure don’t remember ever taking one. Maybe it’s some sly question on the driving test?

We have ours, Representative Steven King, (R, IA). He represents the 5th District, which includes Sioux City and Council Bluffs. Those are nice sounding Native American places, and don’t deserve to be associated with a lunatic. The Des Moines Register won’t endorse him any more, calling him “an embarrassment to the state of Iowa.”

You can imagine what he has had to say about gay marriage in Iowa. We’re about to become a mecca for gays you know, according to him. He’s also related that Osama bin Laden would dance in the street if Obama were elected. He scores a perfect 100% from the conservative Family Research Council Action/Focus on the Family. He gets an “A” from the NRA too. He has called Joe McCarthy, a hero of America. He regularly says really ugly things about immigrants.

It should come as no surprise that he was against legislation on “hate crimes.” The Party of No was as you might expect,  is against such things. They don’t want their natural constituents to be burdened with more charges like that when arrested. King apparently got his jollies  by reciting a whole list of wacko and bizarre sexual fetishes, and asking, “how can the poor assaulter know these things? Does he have to ask?” I guess the issue of ASSAULTING another human being got lost somewhere in there.

He went on to call the Congressional Black and Congressional Hispanic Caucuses, “separatist groups.” Oh yeah, we got one huge blot on the fair name of Iowa in this one folks.

But to be honest, we don’t have it as bad as some. Take Minnesota. No really, take Minnesota please! Oh, sorry, I’m regressing to Henny Youngman again.

I mean there should be a caveat that when your state is immersed in other wingnuttery crap, you can’t be saddled with another moron as a representative. Norm Coleman is way enough here folks.

So being stuck with Ms. Bachmann seems overkill to say the least. Given the Ventura adventure of some years ago, Minnesota is dancing pretty near the edge in the first place doncha think?

She started in educational activism, working on “intelligent design.” You can see where this is leading already. Bells and whistles are going and red flags should be popping.

Other than to support Christianity in school, she has been the usual NO voice to any legislation that sought to help students get an education. Big pieces of legislation she introduced was the “Freedom of Light bulb” bill. People should be able to buy the regular kind if they want to she claimed, even though the high efficiency incandescent bulbs are more cost efficient and save energy. Course she got all the science wrong. Probably because of her creationist stand, you know.

She seems inordinately worried about other frivolous things like the US going off the dollar. She thinks CO2 is a benign friendly gas, cuz plants breathe it. (Again, an education without real science can be quite embarrassing.) She has tried to tie flu epidemics to Democratic Presidents, incorrectly of course.

She favors a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. She thinks that service to country is tantamount to “indoctrination camps,” and she claims “evolution is controversial among scientists.”

And of course who can forget that she has called for an investigation of Congress to determine if members are really well, you know, sufficiently American in philosophy.

Lately the lady has been lumped into the catch-all of Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck and others of the laughable right. Too crazy it seems to warrant any defense by anyone. This to the lady who introduced the brilliant strategist, Michael Steele, as “here’s da man!” So you know, I feel for Minnesota.

Now things get even worse it seems. Some states have their entire state represented by a crazy. Such a dubious honor goes to Oklahoma with it’s resident Senator Inhofe.

Now, I’m not sure how this happens. I’d be willing to consider that if your state has more cattle or whatnot than humans, you might get the penalty prize of having the entire state embarrassed by suggesting that the majority of its residents are looney tunes. But Iowa has a lot of pigs, and we didn’t suffer this shame, so I’m not sure. Like I said, I’m still looking through the US Constitution, searching for the right part.

Anyhoo, the not so fair state of Oklahomey, has the dubious distinction of having this rare nut as it’s state Senator in the US of A’s Senate.

Mr. Inhofe not pronounced as it is spelt (in ho fay) but some other way, is a stellar character. This gem of an intellect doesn’t believe in global warming! Which I guess puts him pretty much in the lap of people like our girl Sarah, which come to think about it is another high caliber boob, not of the breast kind, but of the idiot kind.

Just a side note. We feel totally blessed, since Jimmy boy was born in Des Moines and moved, (thank you Jesus) to Oklahoma as a child. He has indicated that he was more outraged by the “outrage” over Abu Ghraib, and has called the Red Cross, a “bleeding heart.” And he ain’t afraid to call torture a fine and noble  practice if need be.

Back to global warming, he calls it a “hoax” using the stupid “hey it’s cool today!” approach to science. He’s a conspiracy believer, claiming that the “weather channel” is behind the whole thing. It should be noted that he receives the second largest campaign contributions from the oil and gas companies.

His claim that global warming is a hoax is second only to the first hoax, that there is any such thing as “separation of church and state.” He likes to quote the Bible a lot in defense of his positions. Thus we must defend Israel at all costs because the Bible tells him to, and that 9/11 was a result of God’s wrath at not doing so enough.

One need not say more.

Other states who bear the brunt of having a horse’s ass representing their entire state are Alaska, as mentioned, with Gov. Sarah, and Texas Gov Rick Perry who suggested Texas just might secede if things don’t shape up.

There are no doubt more. Share your nut case with us please. I’m working on some sort of theory here, and it’s leading to something. Of what, I’m not quite sure, other than all these tenuous humans are Republicans!

Oh, and please, do yourself a favor and go read Robert J. Elisberg’s fine piece at the HuffPo today. It inspired me to write this. It starts about about Joe the Plumber and his take on “queers,” as he so quaintly puts it. It’s fairly hilarious in the reading.

And Happy Cinco de Mayo!