Don’t Taz Me Bro. . .Or, Did Someone Call a Plumber?

Tags

Election 2012, evolution, GOP, Humor, Joe the Plumber, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Neanderthals, Newt Gingrich, Oreo cookies, Rick Santorum, Rush Limbaugh

Well there is an upside of sorts. Dennis Kucinich may have lost his primary bid in Ohio’s Ninth district, but at least he doesn’t have to run against the GOP’s latest laughingstock, Joe the Plumber who did win the Republican primary in the Ninth.

I know.

Everytime you think, “hey they can’t top this. No way they can sink any lower into the slime of stupid and jackassery” duh, well they do.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the threesome Willard, Ragin, and DoughBoy, continue to circle each other, tasers in hand, locked in a dance of death. Each is determined to wrest the self-destruct button as their very own.

At some point do they wish they had never started, as they realize that they are selling their soul, and good cash all to win a nomination not worth a plug nickle? Each is now so damaged that it’s hard to figure out how any of them can ever gloss over the cracks, rot, and peeled paint apparent to everyone.

¶

Newt needs a new hearing aid. Does Tiffany’s sell those things?

He said that the President in his press conference yesterday said:

He said, you know, I’m really worried about higher gas prices because it will make it harder for me to get re-elected.

The President actually said this:

Ed, just from a political perspective, do you think the President of the United States, going into reelection, wants gas prices to go up even higher? … Is there anybody here who thinks that makes a lot of sense?

So, send Newt a tweet, and at least ask him to turn the thing on, or up, or replace the battery.

¶

3CHICKSPOLITICO submitted this as their take on Super Tuesday:

I guess the insanity of all this now is Newt.

Newt has no path to victory.

Ragin’ Rick is the only one with a chance of overcoming The Willard.  

Newt hampers Ragin’ Rick from overtaking The Willard.

Newt hates The Willard.

New hates the Willard more than he hates the Ragin’.

Newt won’t get out.

This is why I know that Republicans ain’t good at logic problems.

¶

There is growing evidence that Neanderthals and some modern humans were doin’ the nasty. We’ll know for sure when the Neaderthal genome is complete.

Michele Flintstone: “Fred, marriage is between a human and a human. That’s what God intended. This human-“iffy” human stuff is an abomination!”

Fred: “Yeah, but those N-Girls are such hairy! It’s sexy!”

¶

Why can’t anyone in The Willard’s campaign write a victory speech? All he does is repeat his campaign stump one-liners.

And that wide-eyed, wait for applause? Tired of that too dude.

¶

On the humor front, Field Negro, in honor of the 100th Anniversary of the Oreo Cookie, gives out some awards. They are rather good choices I think.

¶

The Willard “wouldn’t have used those words” and “doesn’t want to comment on that controversy.”

We speak of the Rushgate.

But there may be more reason than simple weenie-ness than we thought.

It turns out that Clear Channel, who employs the great Ro-turd-itude, has a number of it’s directors who are major contributors to The Willard’s desperate need to be POTUS.

¶

I admit it. I’ve never read the Book of Mormon. I tried to once. Just to be “informed” but after about 50 pages, I gave up. Too boring for moi. Maybe I never got to the good parts.

But I hazard a guess, that it doesn’t anywhere in it say: Thou may lie when it suits your purposes.”

I’m pretty sure it doesn’t say that, imply it, or condone it.

And by all accounts, Willard acts like a pretty darn pious Mormon.

So why does he out right lie so much?

As Paul Waldman suggests, either Willard knows what Obama has said, and purposefully lies, or he has no clue what Obama has said, and purposefully lies about that AND then makes up lies about what he said. There are few other options.

And it’s just not about the President that Willard lies. He lies about himself frequently, claiming he did or didn’t say things that are obviously false. He lies about things he did that he didn’t or vice versa.

In any event, he does it, and for the most part gets away with it. Why?

Media? Are you there?

¶

We haven’t heard much from the Michele *it’s the eyes–I mesmerize with the eyes* Bachmann. But that steel trap of a mind of hers is always working overtime. And she has got some stuff figured out. And you should know Michele’s logic is not like yours and mine, but actually, its Republican logic, which ain’t no logic at all.

Here goes.

You know that Obama compromise that requires insurance companies to cover the cost the contraceptive health materials? THAT one, that has caused all the stir?  Well, you see, as Michele says, there is a “plausible and disturbing scenario.”

Stay with me.

1. The government should cover contraception because it’s cheaper than the costs of pregnancies.
2. We need to lower health care costs.
3. Therefore: Health care will only pay for one baby per family–maybe two. Michele isn’t quite sure.

It could happen. It could. It’s not too far-fetched she says.

She said “I’m not saying he’s going to do it, but that he has the power to.”

Yeah, I have powers too Michele. The power to make you disappear. POOF***

What’s on the Stove? Oh, I’m being creative. Tell you if it was any good tomorrow. Should we survive.