I Resolve To. . . .

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Humor, life in New Mexico, me, New years resolutions

It’s that time of year again!

Oh, you’re not nearly as excited as I thought you would be.

Okay, sure, for some, it surely has been a lousy year. And for them, they are hoping next year is better.

For some its been a great year, and they are wondering can magic strike twice?

For some I guess its fraught with “the unknown” and some don’t handle that well.

But let’s face it, New Years is the seminal icon of “starting over” “starting anew”, and another chance to get it right.

So, turn the page on that three-ring notebook, or better yet, get a spankin’ new one, and listen up.

First:

DO NOT MAKE A LIST OF CRAP THAT YOU ARE GONNA DO AND WILL NEVER DO.

Nobody, except the most anally rigid EVER actually complete their New Year’s resolutions. In fact most people don’t even manage to get one done. So stop inflicting a wound today that will only fester and grow until gangrene sets in, and they have to lop off some part of your anatomy that you have grown fond of.

Which is not to say that this time of the year is not useful for ruminating within the old brain case and assessing the year’s achievements/failures and good starts and getting some idea of what direction one should move in next year. Orient yourself to the sun I say! (I have no clue why I said that, but my fingers have a mind of their own sometimes.)

Such meditations although sometimes painful do help you stop banging your head against the wall in the hopes that you can finally prove that atoms really are far apart in actuality and that sooner or later you can pass through the wall and see the face of whatever deity you envision as Godly in nature (*gasp! Christopher Hitchens? Really?*) Trust me, I’ve tried. I no longer bang my head against much of anything and I find that I feel lots better for that.

So I decided, having not made a resolution in several human years, and more than a millennium in dog years (if you keep track that way), I decided to make one. I said ONE and if you don’t see that that doesn’t violate the rule I just announced, well you are just plain unable to grasp incongruity in its essence. It’s a challenge!

I intend to write a journal. Do a journal. Engage in a journal. Keep a journal. However best you might term that.

And not for the usual reasons, i.e., to plumb the deep recesses of my synaptic symphony. No, I am not after murky “meaning” in why I switched back from honey in my coffee to plain sugar (albeit a variety less “processed” meaning it is slightly brown in color, and makes me feel, healthier somehow). No not for that reason, or even to discover the real reason I love Art Deco and hate Julie Andrews, although there is no relationship between those two things.

No, not for any of those reasons.

I’m old.

I forget things.

I get to the damn end of a year, and boy, it doesn’t seem like a lot has been accomplished. Well, actually it does, but sitting there going through it all and THINKING that hard to remember all that stuff, is HARD.

So I’m making it easy.

A very private little journal to note down those things that I may want to remember after the eclipse of another year. Or that I may need for my defense in court on a charge of fraud, should that happen. And I have no reason to think it will or should, but heck, like any good scout, one needs to be prepared.

And so, I can then read those notes, scribbled down (how one scribbles on the keyboard is something I haven’t figured out yet), and say, whoa girl, you sure beaded a lot of bracelets! Or you sure got your hair cut a lot. Or, damn, you made twelve cakes last year, and qualify for the Twelve Days of Christmas contest! And somehow I figure that I can then see the path behind me in all its weird twists, and thus design a gooder, better, straighter? path for the future? Or something like that. At least I won’t be so surprised at one of those “end of the year” shows when I learn that I forgot that somebody died that I had clean forgotten had died. That makes the shock twice as bad you know. AND makes you feel really really unsympathetic to boot–meaning those people didn’t mean very much to you if you FORGOT they had died after all.

So I am.

Making, doing, writing, keeping, a journal.

And I am planning on opening an Etsy shop.

I know what you are saying now.

Wow, you actually might know an entrepreneur or something. Like Bill Gates old preteen friends tell people now, “Bill Gates was a friend of mine”. I might become jewelry maker to like Lady GaGa or maybe Madeleine Albright or somebody you don’t even know!

(I’ve got the beading bug at the moment. Check with me in six months when it’s Japanese paper cutting–whatever they call that.)

Second:

I resolve to always tell ya what I think. I know, I know, that will be a hard one for me I know.

In the meantime, this is what I think of Justice Scalia:

“. . .one of the finest judicial minds of the 15th century.”

I have a lot more I could say, but I’m working on being succinct too. 😛

Stay tuned. As you know, this blog goes in 6,495 directions, and usually at the same time. You just never know what I’m thinking about, and neither do I most of the time.

PS: ideas for the name of my Etsy shop are wanted. Something New Mexico-ish would be super.

Oh Please, Not Again!

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Humor, Iowa, life in the meadow, New years resolutions, psychology, sociology

Since before the time when Archimedes ran naked through the streets of Syracuse yelling “Eureka!” humanity has been on a quest of self-improvement and determination to follow through.

Okay, so Archimedes has zero to do with this. So sue me. Better yet, make a New Year’s Resolution about it.

I have, in the past, noted that I stopped participating in this archaic and largely illusory exercise some years ago. Sort of. It remains as a painful pleasure to those masochists out there who enjoy setting themselves up for failure. Please note that the more you insist on listing  TEN, the more masochistic you are.

Now, I have little doubt that early humans, while looking out of the cave upon a new year resolved to change a few things. Like being more careful when sharpening spears, and not volunteering so much as lead in the Wooly Mammoth hunt.

And down through the ages, people, ever confident have continued this stupid practice of thinking that by sheer will, and the turn of a day on the calendar, magically they could transform their lives into that which they had always dreamed of.

No one would argue that the number one resolution historically is to diet. Yes, it never fails. In fact, the commercial world, dumb as it is, always runs some ads telling us to eat this or that in order to “fit into that swimsuit” come June.

So popular is this little resolution, that supermarkets quite regularly run out of Lean Cuisine on January 2 of every year, and the garbage retrieval companies report a larger than usual dumpage of old-freezer killed packages of same around December 30 or so. (depending on your pick-up date of course).

So unsuccessful is this resolution that it is being noted by planetary scientists world-wide. It has been known for some time that America is “weightier” than any other nation in the world. All the resolution in the world seems to have no effect. Scientists now note that the weight imbalance on our side of the globe is increasing to a degree that it is starting to throw the axis of the earth out of alignment, and that if this continues, we shall roll right out of our orbit.

 It is projected that our next stop will be as a satellite of Saturn. Having watched old episodes of Buck Rogers, I can tell you that the Saturnians are a most unpleasant sort of people, and it is ill-advised to join their system.

Going hat-in-hand with dieting is of course exercise. This causes the usual run on tennis shoes and other work-out wear, but most get so little use, that often it can be re-used the following year.

The median resoluteness of these two grand desires is approximately 2.3 weeks, slightly longer if there is a membership in a weight losing scheme such as Wiggles and Jiggles BeGone or Max’s Pain and Torture Emporium. Then the resolute period is a whopping 3.4 weeks.

Next on the list of “I’m working on me” is those things that actually improve one’s mind. Learn it or lose it, or something like that. This often is considered before the actual resolution date, and is requested as a gift at Christmas time. No dreams of sugar plums in these heads, but rather of looms and needles, and fabrics, and such. Believe me, I know all about this one. I have a room full of barely started projects to prove it. And if you are honest, so do you. Don’t bite this bait again.

Nothing compares to our resolve to become better read, and so most lists include a promise to “read more.” It is most important that you leave it general like this. While it is true that when you wrote it, you meant things like reading Plutarch and Pliny, or something by Steven Hawking, trust me, no more than thirty pages of any of these will be consumed. Truly, that is the average that anyone actually plows through.

No, if you leave it at “read more” you can talk yourself into believing that comic books, the captions on pictures in People, and the ingredients on a cereal box all count. See, success!

My favorite are the even more ephemeral ones like “making a difference in somebody’s life each day.” Now you can cross this one off as a success even before you start. You do make a difference in somebody’s life every day, as long as you don’t hold yourself to the requirement that it be a positive one. I assure you, you got this one. Move on.

People often decide that they are going to take better control of their finances as a resolution of sorts. And you can too. Just don’t start figuring out this one, until you have finished paying off the books and supplies needed to accomplish all the other resolutions you made already. It is important to keep this one at the end of the list. Comprendé?

So, if you plan carefully, you can beat this game that defeats almost everyone else. Stay away from dieting and exercise. Substitute more general terms like “eat better” (use one pat less of butter per week is technically “eating better!”) and “moving” more which can be contorting yourself to scratch your own back rather than reach for the backscratcher. Movement is movement after all.

The rest? Well, I think you get the template here. GENERALLY BE GENERAL, or GBG as we in the experienced trade call it.

You too can be a Resolution success story!

Related articles

• Random resolutions (up-an-atom.blogspot.com)
• New Year’s Resolutions. . .or just screw it! (misleadingtonowhere.wordpress.com)
• How to Test-Drive a New Year’s Resolution (yellowinspiration.wordpress.com)

Reflectively Yours

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essay, evaluations, God, gratitude, life, measuring, New years resolutions

We have been talking of late about our back looking propensity. And we have established good and intelligent reasons for doing so. In a sense, we review the past in some attempt to give meaning to the present. It gives contextuality to our “now.”

Yet, we do more than just engage with the past in order to discern lessons for the future and to give concreteness to the present. We also look back in some attempt to measure.

What do I mean? I mean that we are prone, in much of our lives to measure things. We measure time surely, we measure our progress. We measure our fullness of anything with respect to what others have. We count, and we project into the future. At this pace, we will be . . . .next Tuesday.

Measure twice, count once. A good thing to remember.

The counting of things is done in some sense to define “progress.” We like to think that we have made some, week to week, month to month. But we especially evaluate and measure at year’s end.

Some of us are so dedicated to self-punishment that we actually keep a copy of our “resolutions” to re-examine at year’s end. Most of us are not so masochistic as that. But we recall at least the major ones.

So we measure our weight loss, the reduction of our “debt”, the quantity of books read, the success of that new Yoga class. We feel alternately, good or bad, depending on how we “measure” up.

We make excuses, vow to do better, rethink, reword, rewrite all such things again. We add, subtract, multiply and divide. Momentarily depressed by our utter lack of success, we reconfigure and regain our optimism with bold new ways of approaching our resolutions for the coming year.

Even when we reject the entire concept of resolutions, we are not immune. We still reflect and grade ourselves in some fashion for our accomplishments or lack of  same. We plan and devise a better strategy for the coming year.

And I’m not quite sure why we do so. It seems that we as humans need some marker to identify that we have “grown” in some way. We believe in God, those of us who do, yet, we are not satisfied to simply “do” living. We must evaluate and judge our living. As if, (don’t tell) we might not quite believe that immortality awaits us, and we need to make some showing to the world that we mattered.

There, I said it. We need and want to matter in the world, because it may be all we have. And so we attempt to measure out our successes or failures as if this all goes down into some impossibly long eulogy to be delivered at our death.

Here lies Sherry Peyton, who at age 1 and 1/2 mastered the art of spoon and pooping in a receptacle. At age 4, she tied her shoes.  . . . at 59, she knitted a sweater, and learned to make Peking (Beijing?) duck.”

Yet, we profess, and assert that we do believe. We look about us at the grandeur of the world (those places unsullied by human trashing at least) and we see the clear finger of God. We notice the flora and fauna and gasp in delight, knowing that, some wonderfully gracious transcendent power by His word uttered, set all in motion.

We see the dance of galaxies, and the Northern Lights, tears appear as we gaze upon beauty so haunting and so perfect, moments so tender and precious that we choke momentarily in wonder. We KNOW in a way that is inexplicable and far to holy to commit to mere words.

In frail fleeting seconds we KNOW, and then return to the realities of carpooling and flu bugs, and car payments and arthritis. And  so we count, and measure, and evaluate, and judge, and we hope it means something in the end to us, to them, to those strangers who will buy our pathetic belongings at auctions. I see my sewing machine in a box on the floor of a garage, carried off by a bidder for 4 bucks. My life is sold off for a few hundred dollars.

Is it enough? Surely, for these things are but stuff. We live on in the minds of loved ones, family and friends. They are mindful of our measuring. For they measure too.

Better, I think that we strive to not count, but rather give thanks. That we peruse that history we have built and thank our lucky stars (so dramatically created of Godstuff) that we had homes and loved ones. We saw the Grand Canyon, we reveled in Mozart’s 40th symphony. We held a grandchild and caressed a lover. We tasted caviar, and sipped a good champagne once. We saw a puppy being born, and saw an eagle soar. We read Thomas Merton, and laughed at Erma Bombeck.

Give thanks as these last moments of 2009 drift by. We are alive, we have minds to think with, and hands to work with and feet to travel upon. We have loved ones, friends, and pets. We have eyes to see a quiet beauty everywhere we look, if we but look, carefully. Give thanks, and then do it some more. We are more full that we imagine with that which we should be grateful for.

Amen.

Time to Crack the Whip!

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discipline, New years resolutions

Yesterday I stopped by Chani’s blog, Finding My Way Home. She had an excellent post on New Year’s resolutions. Instead of the usual list of promises to be kept in the upcoming year, Chani opted for a “Word of the Year” plan.  She chose a word that would set a theme for the upcoming year.

I thought it a most admirable idea especially for those of us who are chronically bad at following through long term on resolutions. While I don’t see why you can’t do both, some will undoubtedly find this a more promising exercise than “I resolve to lose 40 pounds by June 1.” May 15 arrives and we begin scrambling to fulfill the resolution, which was soon forgotten after about two weeks in the gym in January.

Anyway, I spent some time thinking about what my word theme would be for the new year, and came up with my choice. At first blush it seems a bit negative and mean, but really it speaks more clearly my need than other words like “perseverance” might. The word is discipline.

Yes, I know that sounds jack boots and whips, but really it doesn’t have to be so sinister. My problem, plain and simple is a lack of stick-to-it-tiveness. I can start lots of things, but I have a badly demented lack of interest quite soon in, and little by little, I slide into inactivity. I’m usually on to another project with the same initial gusto, only to, you guessed it, lay it aside after a few weeks.

This means I have lots of afghans that have been started, and none finished. I have yarn for a new sweater, and have had it for about 6 weeks, but have not done more than cast on the initial stitches. I have paint, brushes and the like, but still have not started painting the office. The list could go on, but I won’t bore you with my procrastinations.

Either I have a very poor attention span, or I’m flat lazy. In either case, it doesn’t bode well for getting a lot of things done. As some of you know, I did manage to stick with it and clean my house from top to bottom this spring. It took a long time, but I did finish. What I need is that same kind of determination to finish other things.

I’ve been very devoted in my spiritual practice, praying the Office daily, morning and night. The only failing I had there was during the recent flu illness. But I’m back at it and truly have made it a part of my day. I’ve also been a bit more successful with knitting by setting aside a specific time when I engage in the pursuit. I’m well on my way to completely a second scarf, though  again, the flu slowed this process for a couple of weeks.

My main concern now is the treadmill. The Contrarian spent weeks checking Craig’s list every night, looking for that lovely person who just wanted to get rid of a treadmill and didn’t care to make much money. I got a fine one for $75 that was nearly brand new, and measures distance, speed and heart rate and a variety of other things. Of course the flu stopped that too, but I am back at it, into my second day. I find it boring, sadly, but I have my CD’s and headphones and I manage.

So, I chose the word discipline as a way of reminding me that I must follow through on things I start. It will be the theme of my year. I will apply it here and there to various projects I start. I’m grateful for Chani’s idea, and think that it will be worth more to me than the usual list of resolutions.

So, if you find resolutions just depressing, think about designating the year with a theme word. You can incorporate it into your devotionals each day as a reflection on how you are doing.  Use a sticky note on the bathroom mirror or in some other convenient place you visit every day. Think about ways you can give action to your theme.

Discipline is a good thing. Too much is not. But too little makes life chaotic and well, it makes you feel unaccomplished over time. So get some discipline and choose that word! LOL. Happy New Years to all of you!