What A Difference a Year Makes

Tags

New Year, retrospectives

We are fast approaching the end of things. That sounds ominous. It’s December 29, and Thursday we will awaken, albeit a few of us with aching heads, to discover that like a bright new shiny penny, the year has flipped to 2015.

This week is all about retrospectives, and I am finding them tiresome already. Turn on any cable news service and hear the refrains:

“Top ten natural disasters of the year, coming up next!”

“Who we lost this year in sports and entertainment!”

“Top five books of the year. Have you read them yet?”

Last year I realized that I was (as I always do) losing track of all these milestones during the year. I created a private blog just to jot down events as they took place so I would have them to turn to to “remember”. That lasted, ummmm, somewhere like a week, maybe less.

As I’ve pointed out at this time of year, nearly every year, I don’t do resolutions, finding them silly, self-defeating, and but another excuse for dragging out the old whip to flagellate my increasingly intolerant body.

So once again, I’m doomed to discover that people I really admired died, and I’d totally forgotten. And there were scientific discoveries that I had peripherally noticed and tucked away in some recess of my brain to which I’ve since lost the key.

About the only things I’ve remembered well are my own name and my address, though I often stop for a moment when asked my phone number or zip code.

Actually I remember a lot of political stuff, and that is probably not a good thing, since most everything that happened last year is eminently forgettable or should be. Given that I am a political satirist of sorts (god, that puts me up there with Jon Stewart, John Oliver, and Lenny Bruce, right?), it’s only natural that I should. Remember that crap, that is.

You may wonder why I think of myself as a political satirist, since this blog has taken a bit of a turn away from the day-to-day regurgitation of the crazy Reich-Right (use those Nazi references when you can). Because, even when I don’t technically refer to politics, I’m usually grousing about the people who make politics a living hell by their ignorant interference in things best left to adults with an education that goes beyond “how does a bill become a law.”

I say living hell in the sense that I do care that this country continues to swirl around on the event-horizon of a major black hole of doom. It hurts. And that engenders, as a defense, anger and yes even a modicum of hatred. Epictetus tells me that I ought not to become emotional about realities as such, but spend my energies doing effective things, but woe  is me, it’s so much easier to complain.

A few friends tell me that they avoid politics because it is just too unsettling, and I do respect that. There is no fun in continually poking yourself in the eye with a stick in the hopes that someday, it either won’t hurt or magically you’ll get 20/20 vision for your efforts.

I must admit to a sick sense of fun in all of it too, and that undoubtedly is what drives me to continue. I’m sure a psychiatrist would have a field day in my head, but I do enjoy poking a stick (not in my eye) but through the bars at the caged idiots. For stupid people are caged whether they realize it or not. Caged by their lack of vision, lack of curiosity, and willingness to live a life of dreary ordinariness if only mas’r will give them the illusion of prosperity. Poke I will, with relish, because I enjoy the resultant explosion of racism, sexism, and all the other ism’s they exhibit when blood pressure overcomes what little common sense they possess. There is no knowledge to overcome since the very word suggests elitism to them and they regard education (except good-old fundamentalist claptrap as the work of the devil).

The point really is that a year makes no difference at all. For some this has been a hellish year, one they can hardly wait to escape and start out fresh again. This is balanced by just as many who have had a delightful rich and fruitful year and hope that next year just continues in the same vein. Neither is being objective of course, and no one says they should be. Each operates from a singularly personal experience, much as some men love blondes and others brunettes or as the song goes, “I like my women a little on the trashy side”. Some women love them some nerdis sorts, while some love SOA’s Jacks on his bike.

What’s new under the sun? (Oh I can go on with these all day folks).

Even though I don’t “do” resolutions, I do do intentions. 

Intentions are much milder than resolutions as you can see. They are gentle and express a longing and desire, rather than some fiat imposed with an iron will that will be shown to be all too bereft of any undergirding at all.

So I have intentions.

• To write better. This is of course easy since I am the arbiter of success here. I determine what constitutes “better”. I can’t lose on this one.
• To read more. Again, I self-judge based on my recollection (no matter how faulty) of how much I have read in the past year. Philosophy is my focus this year.
• To continue toward the light, however I define it. There are many paths, and I intend to peek down as many as I’m able in the time yet allotted to me. All knowledge benefits so nothing is lost on the road more traveled as well as the less (eat your heart out Frost).
• To seek truth always. Truth untinged by desire and predisposition requires the constant overlay of critical thinking. We all fail much of the time. I desire to fail less often and about less  important things.
• I seek to be more of what I am destined to be. Don’t we all?

I intend and that is a victory in itself.

Gosh, so many of you have enriched this year for me. I thank you all, whether you ever knew or not. I consider myself among the most luckiest of humans. I live with a man who continues to delight me with a freshness of spirit and wit, who challenges me in a million ways that keep me alive and vibrant while loving me unconditionally. I have the sweet softness of dogs who suffer my failings and limitations while offering a love which they neither understand nor question. I live in surroundings that delight and prick my curiosity and remind me that beauty comes in many forms. I have pursuits that challenge my intellect and patience, and occasionally stamina. I am blessed beyond measure, and have nothing whatsoever to deserve it.

I am humbled for there are those more worthy who have so much less.

It has been a year, and like all such artificial divisions, it has no real meaning beyond what we assign. After all, before us, what was time but a thing yet to be named? Or no thing at all.

At the Finish Line, and Ready to GO

Tags

Contrarian, Diego, life in the foothills, lifestyle, New Year

Holy heavens!

Shockingly, we have made it through another year. I find that hard to believe really. I mean according to many, there were so many obstacles in our way. There was that pesky Mayan calendar and it’s prediction of the end.

There were all the crazies who predicted that the President would declare marshal law and imprison the Tea People en mass.  There were predictions of economic Armageddon. There was predictions that Sally’s shorts would catch fire and that would be the “butterfly effect” that would set off the start of black hole that would envelope us all.

Well, here we are.

We had rain last night and it froze in the morning. Decidedly not nice, though the sun keeps popping out now and again. I’ve spent the morning cleaning the house which is also decidedly not nice. Then I spent another morning (actually part of the same one) making stuff for the buffet tomorrow. I make New Year’s buffets. I don’t wanna make a sit down meal. So I have the dough for pizza in the fridge awaiting. I have something called chorizo/caramelized onions dip, I have jalapeño poppers, eggnog monkey bread a rising, and Caribbean wings a marinating. I have eight geese a laying and 9 golden rings too, if anyone asks.

We are gonna start our traditional Star Wars marathon tonight. I am always excited for that. I just get so worried how it will all turn out and all.

We are having the famous Burger Time burgers today with cheese, bacon and green chiles. Mmm, good. The Contrarian is required to go get that. I’m not cooking a meal today after all!

Butt Boy otherwise known as Diego is asleep, scheming as to how he can get into more mischief. The Contrarian wants to get him a subscription to the Wall Street Journal. See, he loves to run out the door and get the paper and come tearing back  in and take it to the Contrarian’s office. Trouble is, he hates giving it up. Who knew his favorite toy is newspaper. It ain’t like the WSJ is worth much as a newspaper, so let him have at it. Shredding paper is a skill he has utterly perfected.

I have a lot to be grateful  for as the year ebbs slowly away. I know I’m supposed to think more about that at Thanksgiving, but frankly, I’m up to my elbows in turkey and dressing and cranberries on that day to feel particularly grateful. So I’m gonna think about gratitude a lot today I think. I sure am grateful for you guys. I would be pretty sick to write all this down for “posterity” wouldn’t it? Is posterity like the butt of history?

We are supposed to be in winter here.

Wimpy winter.

Not a snowflake has descended, though we were told we might see a flurry or two last night or maybe it’s today. It’s 44° here at the moment, so I rather doubt it. It will be in the 20’s tonight, which it often is during winter. The highs get in the mid-50’s usually. The elevation of Las Cruces is about 3900 feet, give or take a yard. We figure to be maybe 300-500 feet higher here in the foothills. I always realize a significant warmth when I get into town. High desert is nice. I like it.

It’s sure played havoc with baking I tell ya, the elevation. They meant that stuff seriously about baking changing at high altitude. I didn’t think we qualified as “high” but everybody has their own notion of high I guess. I mean to a caterpillar a turtle seems high no doubt. It’s all relative.

Which is no surprise, since most everything is relative. They say that right and wrong aren’t relative, but with few exceptions, and maybe no exceptions at all, they are wrong–relatively speaking of course.

Reality is pretty much relative these days doncha think? I mean the Tea People clearly live in some universe but it sure ain’t mine. And don’t get me started on quantum physics. That stuff will have you coming and going at the same time, and that is not relative at all, but sure will drive you insane if you actually try to sort it all out.

Anyway, gosh I sure can go on about nothing.

I’m not a good listener. Are you?

I’m not. I told the Contrarian is partly my training as a lawyer–the one who gets the last word in often wins the day. Why that is so is a puzzlement, but I can assure it is. Judges may simple get tired of listening.

Part of it is the simple fact that I think that what I have to say is vastly more important that what most anybody else has to say. I wish this were not so, but I’ve researched the issue, and find it to be true. It causes me all sorts of trouble in life. People think I am a loud-mouth. They think I’m “full of it”, the IT being unstated. I am not sure what the IT is, but facts and knowledge would be my choice, though I doubt it is the choice of those who say it to me.

You would think that would shut me up.

No, it only makes me try harder to convince the other person that I actually do know a lot more than they do. I wish they would just admit that I am smarter than they are. Funny how people are so reluctant to admit the truth about themselves.

I know I am not afraid to take a cold hard look in the mirror and see my faults. If I had any that is.

Now you see my enemies will nod sagely and be re-enforced in their conclusion that I am “full of it”, while my friends are cracking up.

I should take this show on the road.

Have a great Woop-de-doo Tonight!

And see ya next year.

 

 

 

So Are Ya Gonna Do It? (Or Don’t You Ever Learn?)

Tags

life in the foothills, lifestyle, New Year, resolutions

Here we go again.

As the days dwindle down to a precious few, we ponder the past year and set our sights upon the future.

Poetic ain’t I?

Well we do.

Jan over at Yearning for God posted a good idea on Facebook a few days ago. It’s this: get yourself a jar of your choice of at least quart size. Then whenever something especially nice happens–the test results were good, you got a great gift, your plumbing bill was not nearly as bad as you expected–whatever, write it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar.

At the end of the year–like now–you open and read. Kind of puts the year into perhaps a better perspective I suspect.

As to the future.

Well we all, make resolutions though many of us, (myself included) don’t formally write them down since its way too depressing. Depressing you ask? Why yes, I answer. For we all make essentially the same list. First and foremost is to lose weight. Then get in shape. Drink less, stop smoking, be kinder to people, spend more time meditating, reading, or engaging nature. Finish the book, the quilt, the landscaping, the cookbook assemblage. Have I pretty much covered MOST of the shit on your list?

And what do they have in common for the most part?

They are vices we are trying to overcome, or inertia which is the bane of humanity. Get off your duff and attend to business. Stop sitting in front of the computer/TV and ACCOMPLISH something for God’s sake.

Why we do this is well, part of the human psychic haywire we all experience. We are gonna die. And depending on what you believe, we are still not gonna be here. It matters little WHAT legacy or lack of same we leave behind. We will either be utterly unaware of it because we are DEAD, nor can we have the peace of mind of knowing that even though we don’t KNOW, we KNOW we must have been appreciated, because we are DEAD, or if we are eternal in some fashion as many of us believe, well we will undoubtedly be busy doing other unearthly things.

So accomplishing anything is pretty much for no good reason other than we feel better when we do. It is strange and stupid really. I work so much harder now that we are officially retired in New Mexico. I am on the go almost every day for 6-8 straight hours, doing chores and such. Yet I have this amazing sense of accomplishment each day, and am very satisfied in my tired bones.

This makes no sense I realize. Yet I prefer doing this than sitting passively throughout the day playing computer games and watching soap operas.

We all do this throughout life, we must admit. We work to have a nicer house, live in a better neighborhood, have more things to play with during the diminishing time of “leisure.” We read stuff that is not particularly entertaining, because we want to learn, though I rather doubt that in the grave or afterlife, we will have use for all that knowledge we have acquired.

Now that I have gotten you sufficiently depressed, I’ll point out that the more “useful” we are and the more we know, the more we like ourselves, and the happier we feel. As I said, danged if I know why, but it seems to be the case, so I can see no useful reason to discontinue the process.

The end of year is also a time of assessment. Part of looking at the past year is to put things in perspective. And to devise better ways of doing what you didn’t do so well. One thing I’ve learned is something that monks and contemplatives are quite good at. And that is being in the moment and being engaged in what you are doing. I don’t know why this is, but doing even the most mundane of tasks SEEMS to go better when I pay attention to it, rather than try to divert my head with music or internal musings to “pass the time.”

The TIME you are passing is YOUR LIFE. So I think it makes some sense to pay attention to it.

Anyway, I have some goals for next year. After exercising for a full nine hours a week more than I used to, I still find that I have lost no weight. I know I have a good deal more muscle now, and muscle weighs more than fat, but good lord in heaven, a few pounds wouldn’t be so much to ask would it? I can’t do vegan, but I can increase fruits and veggies and reduce my meat intake. So I’m going to work on that a bit.

I fritter away entirely too much time on the computer. I’m going to try to spend more time on crafts and reading that I have so far.

That’s about it.

I’m pretty darn perfect, there’s very little left to do.

Can’t you tell?

 

 

Looking Ahead

Tags

New Year

I surely hope that you had a pleasant New Year’s celebration. We sure did. Peaceful and calm as it was, it was quite glorious in its own right. A buffet of cold cuts, dips and veggies was there to graze on throughout the day. The parade was seen in part, but we devoted most of the day to watching the bowl games.

If my favorite teams winning is some indication of 2009 getting off to a good start, then so be it. The University of Iowa beat some team called the “gamecocks” which should label them losers from the start. That was in the Outback Bowl. Oh by the way, I detest how all these corporate idiots now get the name of bowls.  I simply hate it.  About the only hold out is the Rose Bowl, but even that carries a Citi logo. Sad, how corporate America has intruded into every facet of our lives.

The second game, well that didn’t go well at all. MSU lost to Georgia. Truthfully, neither team played well. The third game, the Rose Bowl was another success. USC trounced Penn. Now I deeply love the USC Trojans. I love the horse, and I think they have the best sounding school song of anyone.

I’m wondering what the world Paterno is doing at Penn. He is the coach but sits up in a box (apparently he is too frail for the sidelines.) He doesn’t even go into the lockeroom at half time. As many times as they swung the cameras to picture him, not once did he appear to be talking to anyone. Some coach. I guess the poor old guy just can’t let go. Figures he will die if he stops coaching, though I doubt what he does could anymore be called coaching.

Anyway, the holidays are now over. I have spent a lot of time watching old movies and reading and knitting. I’m feeling quite satisfied. The food was good. The house is passably clean. I have hopes of making it to church on Sunday, but a weather system is coming in on you guessed it, Sunday, so that remains a question mark.

I am finding it mighty hard to find anything in the political news that I wish to blog about. Same old stuff. War, war and more war. I’m as sick of the Israelis and Palestinians as I can imagine. How long is this insanity to go on? Until every last one of them is dead? It seems hopeless, and I am tired of hopeless causes.

I want to be filled with hope and think about hopeful things. Right now that seems to negate all things political. So what am I to do? I love blogging, but I have lost my motivation it seems with the election. I feared this might happen. Now it has, and I’m not sure what I should do.

My life seems good. I have faith and hope in the future, and look forward to the day. I get things done,  and I enjoy at least some of my tasks. I’m diligent so far about the treadmill, however much I get bored. I’m praying a rosary during my time of walking, and that helps.

I guess I not feeling feisty or ready for the fight right now. I want some peace and good will. I’m sticking to things that point that way, and away from strife, discord, and finger pointing. I’m in a good place, but I suspect a rather introspective one. Perhaps its that cocooning thing, wanting to just hunker down until the trees bud out again, and life revives. I’m tired of being hurt and angered by a world gone mad at every turn.

I sit and wonder, how do the Bernie Madoff’s sleep at night? I really wonder about that. I mean how can you do this to so many people? I don’t care especially about the rich fat cats who lost millions through his scheme, but how did he take the life savings of the little people, knowing they would be left with nothing? I mean how do you reconcile all that in your head? I wonder that about all the corporate crooks, all the political ones, and all the rest in general. How do they live with it?

I can’t understand it, I can’t bear sometimes to work against it. It just all seems too alien and apart from humanness. Maybe I’m the prideful one, thinking I’m better. My own sins are before me, I struggle with them, and I ask for forgiveness. Do they ever? Perhaps.

I am just about finished with Bonhoeffer’s book on Christian discipleship. He makes quite a point about not judging others. That we are called as Christians to love and never stop loving. He was quite certain that we were not to become part of the political process as such. I wonder if he felt differently after his experiences in the concentration camps and working for the underground? I wonder how that impacted his faith. I haven’t read his letters from prison. I’m sure they are enlightening. I don’t think I’m up for the dark place they must explore.

I feel a bit like Scarlet O’Hara and her solution to problems deemed too large and broad to deal with. “I just won’t think about that until tomorrow,” or something to that effect. I always found her answer childish, but I don’t know, it seems practical at some times in life. There is just too much to swallow at one time. Best to just refuse to allow the brain to go there.

I’m determined that this year will be better than last. Last year was the year from hell. Almost nobody speaks well of it. Yet as I examine the world today, it seems pretty much like it was in December. I wanted it to magically change, but alas it didn’t.

Well, at least winter is a full 1/3 over with! By my calculations anyway. And my calculations are really all that count, to me at least. You can have three more weeks of winter if you choose. I am keeping my eye firmly locked onto March 1. Course that will be delayed a whole freaking day longer because it’s a leap year! Just my luck!