Existential Ennui

~ Searching for Meaning Amid the Chaos

Existential Ennui

Tag Archives: Mitt Romney

When is a Cruise a Cruz?

10 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by Sherry in arine biology, Brain Vacuuming, GOP, Humor, Life in the Foothills, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Satire, The Contrarian, Zoology

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Contrarian, GOP, Humor, Mitt Romney, Politics

Tom-Cruise-tom-cruise-374640_1024_768When your name is Contrarian, that’s when.

A bit of history is in order.

The Contrarian, bless his heart, has this issue with names. I am not sure of the reason, but I rather think it’s lazy ear syndrome, as in “I don’t give much of a shit what your name is–I haven’t yet decided whether you’re worth remembering” syndrome.

He says otherwise of course.

You can decide for yourself.

Anyway, his bastardizations of names has become fairly comical on occasion as he comes up with new and unique ways to identify of whom he speaks.

For instance, the Williams  sisters, of tennis fame are not Venus and Serena. No they are referred to as the flytrap sisters, since Venus is related to a plant called a Venus Fly trap. You get the logic I presume?  Liam Neeson becomes something like Leland Nelson. Some of them are quite hilarious. Woman who pulls on ear is the illustrious Carol Burnett. I’ve become quite adept at figuring out who he is talking about. When it comes to Spanish names, well, it is unreal. He really can’t get his heard around the concept that LL in a word is pronounced like a y. So our historical Old Mesilla is to him Missilla instead of MaCeeya.

So anyway, last night we are watching the football game when there is a Bud commercial and I see this guy whose name I don’t know but he’s bald and wears sunglasses and is supposed to be “hip” if that world is still understood by anyone below the age of 60. I had seen a similar commercial with him in it some months ago and thought he was simply an actor, but saw him later singing on the American Music Awards, so I figure he is “somebody”.

So I said to the Contrarian. “I don’t know what his name is, but I find him intriguing. You know what I mean. He’s not classically good-looking but something about him is compelling. No doubt men find some women like that too–like Cleopatra who was thought to be quite plain-looking but was adored by men.”

Well the guy looks at me, and says, “yeah that Penelope woman would be like that.” PenelopeCruz_071222

And I looked puzzled, which is a normal state of look for me around the Contrarian as you can imagine, and said, “Penelope? Who are you talking about?”

And he up and says, “You know, Penelope, the one who was married to Tom Cruise and had the baby Sookie Balooey.”

“Are you talking about Penelope Cruz?” I queried.

“Yes, Penelope and Tom Cruise,” he replied with satisfaction.

“They were never married dear.”

“But they had that baby, Serius or something like that.”

“No they didn’t, that was Katie Holmes.”

Cruise and Cruise, I think I’m right.” he pontificated from upon high.

“NO! Good grief, Charlie Brown, they are not the same. Do you think that Tom is Hispanic or something?”

“Huh?”

“Tom Cruise is spelled C R U I S E. Penelope’s last name is spelled C R U Z.

“Huh, you don’t say? Well she still has a big nose.”

Whereupon the Packers scored again and the world arighted itself. Once more the hapless Lions whimpered their way off the field, and I dear readers was gifted with yet another blog post that writes itself. Everyone is happy at Casa Peyton.

PS. Every time Selma Hayek appears on anything thing, I get: “Hey I thought she was dead!”  “Selma Hayek” Where did you get that notion?” “Ain’t she that Selana woman?” “You mean Selena? No she is not Selena.” Sigh. . . .

œ

Apparently it’s part of therapy to announce your failures openly to anyone who will listen in an attempt to come to grips with the reality of your life.

Thus Mitt Romney, goes into the locker room to meet Manny Pacquiao by saying, “hi I’m Mitt Romney. I ran for president. I lost.”

Mr. Pacquiao went on to suffer a knock-out in the 6th round I hear.

I’m guessing that many a football team will politically request that Willard NOT come to their games, and certainly not enter the locker room.

He’s now the creeping angel of losing. I wonder if crucifixes and garlic would work?

œ

Dead but they won’t stay dead: Glenn Beck and Newt Gingrich.

Can you tell me why anybody asks Newty to give his opinion on anything other than how to get a divorce? I mean really. Seriously.

And why is John McCain always on the Sunday circuit of talk shows? All he ever says is: “I love war, I lost in 2008, and did I tell you I love war?”

whale

I’m not sure if this is the same story but I think it is.

A few days ago there was a report of a whale that had become entangled in fishing lines and was having trouble surfacing to breath. Divers went out and carefully cut all the lines off the whale.

She swam in circles happily for a bit following her liberation, and then, according to reports went to each diver in turn and nudged them, before swimming off.

We have much to learn I believe about the species we live among.

We would do well to think more carefully before we destroy them or ignore them as we busily go about the business of trashing the planet.

I continue to be dumbfounded at the price wildlife is asked to pay for our stupid ideas. Elephants are being slaughtered because somebody thinks it valuable to have a piece of sculpted ivory on a shelf to look at.

Turtles are killed for their livers, considered some sort of delicacy in some places.

The list is long and disgusting.

When will we learn?

Oh, did you see this one?

jelly

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Things We Learned to Not Learn

24 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by Sherry in Uncategorized

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Black Friday, cartoons, Election 2012, GOP, Humor, Mitt Romney, teabaggers

Hurrah you might say, let them have at it. Let them go. Breaking up is hard to do as the song says, but there is always, the sun’ll come up tomorrow, tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar. . . .

Let them start negotiating trade treaties with the US and figuring out how to pay for all that border security they want and highway maintenance and mail delivery.

But it would be pitiful indeed to watch little children flounder in the “I never thought of that” land of getting what you wish for.

Texas of course leads the way in the madness that continues to consume a small segment of Merika. Never tiring it seems of “the sky is falling” rhetoric, they grab the bait again and again,  in a seeming endless stream of doomsday scenarios created by their grifting plutocrats and media charlatans.

Too crazy to even argue with, one wants at a certain point to just put the poor things out of their misery by locking them up in padded rooms with tons of thorazine piped in through the water spigots.

Meanwhile. . . .

Karl, ya got some ‘splainin’ to do.”

You can believe in your conspiracy theory or you can believe in your just plain too stupid to live theory, either way Rovian reality turned out to be about as reliable as a Dodge Dart after 125,000 miles on the original quart of oil.

Some say Karl was seen inspecting the lint in his navel and pondering whether a few votes might be lost in there.

Others admired the aplomb with which he assured rich fat cats that a 1% return was really not that bad, given that they were in the 1% themselves after all. It was in a word Kismet.

Or the damn firewall kept us from counting those votes in Ohio in our new Mathian way. (throw the ballots in the air and those that land are Republican–while those that fly away are Democratic and can’t be counted anyway).

Mad? I’m not mad. You have just lost the ability to discern any standard of mad because you’ve been in the company of mad people for so long you no longer can tell the difference. Mad indeed. I protest.

Yes, he’s still rich.

But he left his parting shot.

We are the “gifted” ones. Which of course along with Rush’s Santa Claus remark has become the new battle cry of the insane ones who claim the world is about to end.

Ironic that those who blame us gifted ones on voting in the Kenyan, Barry, live in the states who receive more in federal monies than they pay in taxes. In fact the people who get the least for their taxes are people who live in California and New York, you know the LiBTarD territory.

Irony.

I suspect the Teabuggers have never looked that word up in the dictionary.

Speaking of which.

Irony that is.

I’m not the first to point out that we give thanks for all we have on Thursday and then go out like hedonist nuts the next and spend, spend, spend for nearly the sheer love of acquisition.

I am at a loss as to why people enjoy doing this.

I mean who likes driving around the mall searching for a parking place that is not 1.2 miles from the mall entrance?

Who enjoys hiking 2.4 miles just to circumnavigate the stores, only to realize that you need to go back to the other end because you forgot the sterling necklace on sale at JCP when the same one at Sears is only $7 more?

Who likes to limp through the mall, with bags banging against your thigh, while running into other similarly impaired walkers, while being sprayed in the face with fragrance misters out to entice you into buy whatever Halle Barry is spraying on her body, and why would I care?

I could go on, but I gather you probably get my opinion by now. Bring me that one stop shopping at the end of my finger! Delivery at my front door! That’s my kinda shopping.

I’ve eaten a Twinkie or two.

Maybe three.

They are tasty to a three-year-old.

Blame it on unions. Yeah, that makes sense, when the CEO raised his salary from a could hundred thousand to a few million a year and when the board leveraged the company into huge debt. Yeah blame the workers and the union.

Wanna make a bet that the company is bought by somebody, and that somebody just happens to relocate the new Twinkies plant to a right to work state?

Go ahead. Bet me.

We wonder.

How long will they whine?

Will they ever get over it?

Not any time soon I fear.

These remarks from Townhall, a conservative site on this cartoon:

Soon…very soon, the people who voted for Obama will have a “Breaking Dawn” of their own. When everyone in the country is suffering from protracted recession brought on by Hussein’s tax and spend, Health care power grab, freebies that he promised to the simple-minded do-nothings who fell for his BS pie-in-the-sky gifts of easy to get Welfare, dream act amnesty, free college for all, food stamps growing on lollipop trees, the reality will set in and as more and more the money runs out or is so devalued by the “printing press economics”, we will have to go back to common sense government and, hopefully, leave the socialism to Europe, China and the other failed and failing states.

See? There is no hope for these folks.

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We Were Right All Along

15 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by Sherry in Election 2012, Foreign Affairs, GOP, Humor, John McCain, Libya, Lindsay Graham, Mitt Romney, Satire, What's Up?

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Benghazi, Election 2012, GOP, John McCain, Lindsay Graham, Mitt Romney, Susan Rice

We knew this man, maybe not from the start, but pretty soon thereafter. Many, like the Contrarian, who is not so quick to judge, resisted, but in the end, most of them came to the same realization–Mitt Romney truly is the entitled, aristocratic, I’m-better-than-you-because-I-worked-harder-than-you piece of work we believed him to be.

Unwilling to present himself even in defeat as a gracious loser who maintains good wishes for all Americans, he recently showed that he his what we thought, and now what he would have us believe.

Also, Willard refuses to believe that his conversations with others (a conference call to donors) might be recorded, so we have his own words.

The Bain Baron reported that the President used the “old playbook” of rewarding his constituents with “gifts” of medical care, tuition grants, Dream Acts, and so forth to buy their votes. Women were “gifted” with contraceptive care, while presumably African-Americans were given the present of the fictitious reduction of work requirements for assistance.

Sound a lot like the 47% remarks?

Steve Benen makes a huge point about how Romney, the quintessential abuser of big gifts–wealth, education, connections and so forth, who used massive amounts of government aid in his Olympics leadership and in his Romney Care, still finds it “outrageous” that the President would use the government to “improve the lives of working class people.”

Is that outrageous to say, when of course, as Benen points out, his intent was to “gift” the wealthy with even more tax cuts.

What an absolute horses ass this man truly is. He deserves nothing but our contempt.

≡

While I’m on the soapbox, let me say this about that.

Benghazi.

I admit that I have not read a lot about this tragedy, no more than I receive on PBS and a few other media outlets. I’ve not read deeply into the event. What I have gleaned leads me to believe that this was largely a failure (if indeed there was a failure) at the state department intelligence level. I am willing to concede that. I believe that it was at a level that might not even reach the ears of the Secretary of State, let alone the White House. Should Mrs. Clinton have been informed? I’m not sure it rose to that level. But I would think that there is probably a flaw in the intelligence end of things that allowed the growing danger to go unacted upon.

I am also under the impression that the intelligence network which has been faulty since before 9/11 in the sense of its ability to successfully integrate itself with all its various arms in the CIA, FBI, Homeland, military, etc., failed to have a coherent understanding of what happened for days after the event. No doubt parts of it did have the right tracking, while others did not. This apparently produced a rather tentative analysis that nobody felt comfortable in laying out as the “cause”.

This leads, in my opinion, to the rather tepid statements made by the White House and the State Department in the days and first couple of weeks. This is what Susan Rice, UN Ambassador, reported.

Given all that, I find John McCain and Lindsay Graham’s bombast unconscionable and basically nothing but self-serving rhetoric. Most of McCain’s crap comes from his inability to get over his being thrashed by President Obama in 2008. If you remember, it was not until Mr. McCain was beaten in a rather bloody battle with then Governor George W. Bush, for the 2000 nomination, that he became the “maverick” who became against almost anything that Dubya for was for (except for military bluster which Johnny adores above all). He has repeated that unfortunate personality flaw with Obama, going out of his way to attack at every juncture in a show of macho swagger.

Lindsay, the sycophant of McCain, and perennial brown-noser, and perennial bachelor with no personal life apparently, has a more pressing problem–he’s up for re-election in 2014 and he is anything but the darling of his local TeaBuggery crew. He supported the bank bail-outs and at least at one juncture, supported climate change legislation. He is considered a RINO by those on the far right and may well be challenged by Joe (you lie!) Wilson. His opposition to Susan Rice as the next Secretary of State (should the President nominate her) is held to be by some at least a mere chance to appear tough with the President.

Oh and lets not forget that McCain had no problem with presenting all that faulty information about WMD’s in Iraq a few years back. I have not looked it up, but I have little doubt that Mr. Graham also blew that horn. And of course McCain came to the defense of Condi Rice over her little faux pas over WMD’s as well.

So please, don’t tell me you are doing this for the good of the country and for those four dead men in Benghazi. I am not buying it.

Politics as usual from the right.

That’s the way I see things from here in the Foothills.

And what about you?

Related articles
  • Lawrence O’Donnell Tears Into McCain And Lindsay Graham For McCarthy-Like Opposition To Susan Rice (mediaite.com)
  • The sore losers club (salon.com)
  • McCain and Graham attack Susan Rice. Hypocrisy? (tv.msnbc.com)
  • McCain And Graham Defended Condoleeza Rice Over Iraq WMD Testimony (buzzfeed.com)
  • Video| John McCain Insults UN Ambassador Susan Rice As the GOP Continues Their ATTACKS On Women (3chicspolitico.com)
  • Obama Defends Susan Rice in First Press Conference After Re-Election (theatlanticwire.com)

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It’s All Over But the Pointing of Fingers

05 Monday Nov 2012

Posted by Sherry in Election 2012, GOP, Humor, Mitt Romney, Satire, What's Up?

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Election 2012, Humor, Mitt Romney, satire

Wednesday, God willing, we will have the answer. Oh please let that be the case, for I do not think that I can live through court fights and recounts.

If, as a good many of those in the know, claim, we shall know by midnight eastern time.

And that means that Wednesday morning the blame game will begin. Republicans have already started the list. Top of that card is Sandy. Sandy just plowed into the east coast and stopped the momentum of the Romney machine.

Not true at all of course, if you look at the averages of the polling. Romney started to stall and then drop about the time of the VEEP debate, and started a decline sometime right after the second debate. He’s been in that decline ever since. Sandy played little if any part.

But of course, the Romneyites have every reason to desire this meme, since it absolves their robot from responsibility. They have no desire to admit that their candidates lousy performance overall had  thing to do with it.

Others will point to the fact that the economy stubbornly keep improving slower than desired, but improve it did. Gas prices went down. House prices went up. The stock market is healthy. Up is always better than down.

Ezra Klein says that Romney is a manager. He truly doesn’t believe in much of anything, and finds it odd that anyone cares. He is good at getting things done. This is not reassuring to most of us however since, as Klein points out, it seems to agree with the Norquist claim that they only need a guy to sign the papers,THEY know what to do. Who the they are is the scary part. A president who really could care less about policy is a guy who leaves it in the hands of jerks like Bolton and Ryan to decide WHAT to do, Romney will just figure out HOW.

Apparently Bloomberg News has ferreted out the real story about Romney’s taxes. Apparently Romney set up a tax haven in the Mormon church in 1996. Such a thing was made illegal in 1997, but those who had already set up such trusts were allowed to continue them. The trust is tax-free because it’s under the church. The way it operates I guess, is he dumps the money in, doesn’t have to pay capital gains, draws down on it at will, and what if anything is left at his death goes to the church.

You are basically renting a tax exemption owned by the church. Nice huh? Any lawyer would tell you that the aim is to end up with zero in the fund at the time of death.

It’s quite apparent why Willard doesn’t want anyone to see his returns. His campaign merely mumbles, “it was all legal”.

I read in passing yesterday that they caught a guy trying to vote twice. It was in Nevada. He was a Republican. I’m not surprised.

Let me ask you this. It’s been proven by every study that there is no voter fraud occurring in the US worth talking about. Since True the Vote claims it has a million poll watchers ready to “prevent fraud”, tell me how you get people to do this when there is no fraud? Might it be something else? Might you raise that kind of army if you are teabagger who thinks the president is a Kenyan  socialist? That sounds more like it to me. Might you concentrate your efforts in minority and ethnic neighborhoods if you are really about suppressing some folks vote?

My most favorite teabagger sign of recent date: “I’m no racist, he’s just that stupid.” If you have to start out saying you aren’t a racist–you probably are.

According to Nate Silver in his last prediction: Obama has a 88% probability of winning, Romney 12%. The numbers are reason to breathe. It’s hard to hold your breath for a whole day ya know.

Tomorrow we are off to El Paso for a meeting with the Contrarian’s audiologist. No biggie. Back to Las Cruces and vote. Will be home by 9:30 am hopefully. And then the long wait until we start getting results. Hope it’s not a long night.

Vote!

 

Related articles
  • OCTOBER SURPRISE: Mitt Romney Used Church Loophole To “Defer” Taxes Over 15 Years (newsone.com)
  • Bloomberg News: Romney ‘rented’ Mormon church’s exemption to defer taxes for 15 years (rawstory.com)
  • Mitt Romney Reportedly Avoids Taxes Through Mormon Church Trust (huffingtonpost.com)
  • Republicans Blame Sandy for Killing Romney’s Momentum (theatlanticwire.com)
  • John Bolton ‘very confident’ in Romney win (wnd.com)

 

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Calm, and Steady Wins the Race

03 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by Sherry in An Island in the Storm, Election 2012, GOP, Humor, Mitt Romney, Satire

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

cartoons, Election 2012, Humor, Mitt Romney

Ummm, last time I checked, I think the Willard Circus was against FEMA as an immoral budget item, saddling our poor l’il childrens with generations of debt.

It seems when you least expect it, a big bad old storm jumps up and bites you in the behind.

And by the by, Old Willard’s chillen ain’t gonna be saddled with nothin’ but big ole trusts to tap into when that HarrVAArd tuition comes due.

FEMA is nothing but one of those welfarish type give-a-ways if you were confused.  Who’s your daddy?

Willard was quick to strategize with his peeps (read ask them what to say next) and come out and say, “well of course I support FEMA. What a silly thing to suggest otherwise.”

Once again, we see that Willard accounts us as idiots without memories or brains.

But he had bigger troubles as his main man Chris Christie doubled down on his 2016 run by adding a blade or two into the back. “Hey, isn’t this a bull fight? I am the matador!”

I bet Ann was seeing red and I don’t mean Chris’s cape. Me thinks Annie Romney carries some big grudges and I for one can’t wait until she starts the blame game.  Popcorn anyone?

Not to be outdone by the Federal Government, Willard spent a few bucks, pretty much the change he carries to tip, and bought some food, which he then handed out to loyal lap dog followers of his which he plied with music.

They then gave back the food, and Willard greeted each return with fond remembrance and then just so you all know he can do manual labor, he lifted  three boxes into the waiting truck.

Paulie ran out and bought up a few boxes of his favorite girl’s book, Atlas Shrugged, and offered them (at a price) to the loyalists who attended. “Let this never happen again–learn what you need to know to protect yourself from future disaster!” he whined.

Meanwhile, notice the silence?

Not a word was uttered by the media about what might have caused all this.

Not a word.

It’s as if there is a law.

But Michael Bloomberg endorsed the President for re-election because he KNOWS Willard don’t go for no climate change. Such talk is anathema to his corporate buddies who laugh, “hey I can move my beach house up a few feet, what’s to worry?”

 Now, I am partisan, I surely admit that. But I swear on everything that is holy that I have personally not a clue what if anything this man believes on most any issue. Nor what he would do if given the chance to effect policy.

I think I’m getting a handle on what drives this strange man. Unfortunately, (because I had no feelings about Mormonism before Mitt)I am coming to  the conclusion that much of what drives him arises from what may well be a strange sub-unit of Mormonism that believes that wealth and power is indicative of God’s favoritism, and that God calls Mormons to rule the world.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I get the sneaky feeling that Mitt thinks that his candidacy and hoped for Presidency is God designed, and that he would be the beginning of a Mormon ascendency in American political power. He may resemble the teabagger more than we think.

But some version of this is what you can expect.

Think about some of these.

Do you really want him to appoint the next judge to SCOTUS?

Do you really want John Bolton in charge of foreign policy?

Do you really want to shop around for health insurance with a small voucher promising to pay what is surely going to be a small portion of your total costs?

Do you really want your granddaughter to consider a backstreet abortionist because she can’t get a safe one, no matter how YOU feel about the issue?

This is what it comes down to.

Fun is fun, and we have had lots of it over the last few months.

But it is not a game, I assure you.

We can return to the gilded age in this country where wealth is securely in the hands of a few thousand and the rest of the population lives in poverty, working longer and longer for less and less, where there is no affordable health care to be had and one is dependent on free clinics who can do little but palliative care.

Where the rest of us learn little more than what is needed to do the work of the rich. Where we are forced to care for our parents and grandparents because once they are past working age, they are unable to take care of themselves. Where children work to help support the family unit.

This is the Randian world that some in the GOP see as the proper order of things–free markets–free of regulation. Where food is no longer safe, where products are shabby and break soon after buying.

It really is up to you, if you choose to participate.

Vote.

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More Clean Pot Cleaning Or How To Try to Look Sympathetic

31 Wednesday Oct 2012

Posted by Sherry in An Island in the Storm, Editorials, Election 2012, Essays, Humor, Mitt Romney, Satire

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Election 2012, Humor, Mitt Romney, satire

Looks like Willard has been taking advice from his running mate, Paulie on how to appear empathetic. Yes, our intrepid wannabe Prez, saw Hurricane Sandy as a grand opportunity to look sympathetic to the masses of “those people” who live in little gingerbread houses, so tiny and quaint.

So, they turned a political rally into a “relief rally” albeit, they had music and a film show of our dynamic candidate before hand. Just bring your donation of food and diapers and feel good about yourself.

So anyway, the Red Cross reminded people that they ASK SPECIFICALLY that people don’t do this. They just have to unpack everything and repack it where it needs to go, and it’s so very much EASIER and MORE EFFICIENT for them if you give cash.

But having old Willard stand there with his fist out taking cash–well that looks so very BAIN of him, that they decided to ignore the Red Cross and do it the FREE MARKET way.

And then they worried that all those Romneyites being the selfish jerks they are, would probably show up sans DONATIONS, so they hurried off to Wal-Mart (Not Sams where we are told the Romney’s so enjoy shopping themselves) and bought about $5,000 worth of foodstuffs to stick in the truck to MAKE IT LOOK like people were donating as requested.

And the candidate, our fool, rolled up his sleeves and slipped on his belted jeans, you know the ones I mean–the ones that allow the dildo firmly lodged in his butt not to show too much–and stood at the table ready to shake the hands and receive the bottles of mayonnaise and pickles.

Except, that as they feared, most of the Romneydites showed up without the DONATION, and wanted to shake the hand of the man who wanted to turn AmeriKA into a corporate boardroom. What to do?

Why, stand a guy at the end of the table shouting down the life, “No boxy, no shakey!” or words to that effect, which made the troglodytes sob with snot running down their chins. And so somebody got the brilliant idea: “Set a box of stuff at that end of the table and hand them their donation when they get to the table to take to and hand to the LIAR Candidate!

And so they did.

And that’s how you appear to be empathetic to those who have suffered unspeakable losses of home and kith.

God Bless the Corporate Model of Doing Business! Onward You Special Rich!

Related articles
  • Romney lines everybody up to give him stuff the Red Cross says it doesn’t want (dailykos.com)
  • Romney’s unhelpful “storm relief” (salon.com)
  • Red Cross had to divert staff to deal with Romney’s phony “relief effort” (americablog.com)

 

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Intelligence Comes and Goes–I Have Proof

30 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by Sherry in Editorials, Election 2012, GOP, Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidency, Satire

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Election 2012, GOP, Humor, Mitt Romney, satire, teabaggers

My affair with David Brooks–how’s that for an opening? I dare say a few of you spit out your coffee.

No sexual innuendo intended, I surely can confirm.

What I mean is that David tries really really hard to appear sensible and sane. When Willard veered off into the satanic realms of teabuggery, he screamed out in primal anger that Willard was making himself a buffoon and sullying the non-too-white robes of the Republican Party.

He said a lot of things that were true. He questioned whether Willard had a moral core. He questioned his intelligence and the manner in which he was running a campaign that most pundits would have argued a year ago was a slam dunk for any responsible Republican. Trouble was, there turned out to be no responsible Republicans willing to grab for the brass ring. Only John Huntsman was actually qualified and the crazies laughed him off the stage.

When David is operating in sane mode, I find him pleasantly nice to read and listen to. He makes pretty good sense, all the while lamenting the fact that people like Willard and Paulie don’t represent real Republicans like him. And I feel a tender spot in my hardening heart (nearly made now of stone to anyone who includes the appellation GOP to their name) toward him for being one of the few remaining good guys from the dark side.

Then, David is David.

David feels all the guilty trappings of a turncoat, and no doubt reads one too many of the many vicious e-mails that must come his way from the cavemen who totter out of their double-wides to saunter down the dusty road to see if cousin Jack’s car is still parked in Becky’s back yard, hiding from his wife.

So David tries to come up with some positive spin on why old Willard might not be so bad after all. And so his theory goes. . .

You see, the Crazy Freakin’ Right, embodied in the bodies of Eric Cantor, Darryl  Issa, blah, blah, blah will continue to hate the President if he wins re-election. They thought they had this one in the bag, certainly the Senate, and expected to gleefully get about the business of undoing all that socialism stuff. Now they are truly steamed, mostly at that incompetent Mormon, but the President is a daily reminder that they LOST AGAIN.

So, according to David, they will just sit on their haunches and dig in their clawed hooves, and do NOTHING for four more years, as a testament to the great POUT OUT. The country will be a mess in four more years.

So, David, concludes. . .

Willard is actually the better pick, since he is nothing but a shape-shifting opportunist, and that’s actually, in this very special circumstance, a GOOD THING.

Why?

Why, because, that’s why.

Since Willard has no real opinion about anything, he will naturally gravitate to the middle and a lot of grand things can be done in the middle. He doesn’t of course give a tinker’s damn (what exactly DOES that mean) or a wombat’s penis about the crazy Right, and they will wither away in his administration, while grand middlers will rule with some measure of rationality.

Got that?

Except that gee, David, think my silly man, think.

Willard has NO OPINION on anything. He wasn’t such a great governor of Massachusetts if you remember. After his grand health care, which was really pushed on him after all, he did nothing but veto just about everything else while screwing everyone with increased fees on everything. Even breathing required a membership card  for a fee, if you recall.

Why would you think he would do the RIGHT thing, being here the correct thing, as opposed to the politically right leaning thing? He could care less. He wants to BE President, not Do President.

Can’t you people see that yet?

It’s a freakin’ crap shoot what Willard would do on just about anything you can imagine. He don’t care! He cares about the photo-op in the Rose Garden with queens and kings and potentates. He cares about sitting for his picture for the hallway of Presidents.

If you don’t think I’m right, well, I betcha.

I betcha he already knows who he wants to paint his portrait. And I bet him and Ann have already talked about the damn drapes in the Oval Office.

Wanna bet?

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