Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut, Sometimes You Don’t

Tags

Election 2012, gay rights, global warming, meteorology, Muslims, What's Up? politics

New Hampshirites go to the polls today to determine which flav of the week they are hungry for. Ask them next week, and they might well change their mind. For folks who are in love with “things as they are/were/always have been” GOP voters these days sure seem uncertain of little else but what state they reside in.

We are tempted to spend some time in the kitchen making snacks so we can sit noshing as the returns come forth. Will it be another nail-biter like Iowa? Will Santorum’s Google problem catch up with the staid Catholic prude? Will Newt sit in the middle of the street in diapers and bawl his head off? Or will Mittens try rap as a means to communicate with the masses?

I guess my biggest question is whether or not Newt gets it. Has it dawned on Pillsbury DB that he is dead in the water? Is he simply engaged in a Shermanesque slash and burn campaign to destroy the man he thinks took him down? He is doing the Democrats work for them, and of course that is great. Can the Establishment GOP rein him in other than by assassination at this point? lets

My second question is whether Jon Huntsman is just getting his name out there in anticipation of 2016, or is he angling for the Establishment to turn his way now that Romney is starting to flounder a bit?

What is clear is that there is now an answer to why Romney avoided interviews and other unscripted situations up until he was forced to it by Newt’s surge. He is a bit undisciplined. Not a bit. A lot. He comes off in debates as childish and as some teacher’s pet sorta brat when he doesn’t get his way. He also let’s go with stupid crap like: “I’m running for President, for God’s sake!”, “I like to fire people,” “I’m proud I forced him to take a mortgage out on his house to beat me,” and other assorted gems that prove that rich people like me live by way different rules than you.

Me thinks that Santorum’s moment in the sun was just that, a moment. Odds are that second place is gonna be a fight between Dr. Paul and Huntsman. His homophobic theocratic crap will play much better in South Carolina. Too bad DeMint don’t like him. He could do well there, but probably won’t. Newt is pinning his hopes there as is Ricky P. You remember Ricky P don’t ha?

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I must say, I do try to understand those folks who hold opinions that I find utterly mad. I do. I try to figure out what set of basics one starts with, from which one can build a house of cards that lead to whatever cockamamie conclusion that I am scratching my head about. There is an interesting article over at Religious Dispatches about how and why the likes of Santorum and others come to their weird explanations as to why marriage equality is so dangerous to life on Mars.   Well thought out and well written.

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Just a question. How are the climate nay-sayers explaining this winter? I haven’t heard a peep out of them. Usually about this time of year one hears the stupid “yeah, it’s 15 below and we have three feet of snow in Virginia–so much for global warming!” Strangely they aren’t explaining this nation wide warmth and lack of snow. Hmmmm.

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The Right, including the GOP panderers are always hot to trot when it comes to sabre rattling against “Islamic Jihadists”. And of course it sets a tone that is anything but helpful. There is a really nice article by Anouar Majid at Informed Comment  about the Arab Spring, and the opportunities to forge a better relationship between Americans and Muslims. Do read.

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You may have missed this. Here in Iowa, they broke into regular programming to give the news. Todd Palin has endorsed Newt Gingrich. Along with Christine O’Donnell opting for Mittens, I can’t wait for who Ronald McDonald is gonna choose. I mean, millions four people want to know.

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This just in. The Blaze has gained access to the pictures, and they are up in arms. I mean, the inhumanity of it all. Exclusive here, you can see the photos of the extravaganza  that taxpayers were forced to pay. The Obama’s had a Halloween party in 2009, replete with costumes and the usual riffraff from Hollywood, including JOHNNY DEPP dressed as the Mad Hatter. Register your anger now.

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What’s on the Stove? Well, we got the taste for a Reuben sandwich so I got some corned beef, some sauerkraut, some high-grade Emanthaler swiss cheese, so rye bread,  and of course some homemade thousand island dressing (which will be posted today). Weep on my dears.

Related articles

• Gingrich Picks Up A Palin Endorsement (huffingtonpost.com)
• Palin: Todd Endorses Newt Gringrich (sarahpalinblog.typepad.com)
• GOP New Hampshire Primary Prediction (carsonjfbruno.wordpress.com)
• New Hampshire reveals a deeper Republican divide (newstatesman.com)
• No honor among thieves. Wing-nuts defend Romney when it comes to job destruction. (preaprez.wordpress.com)

I Think I Hear the Fat Lady Warming Up

Tags

GOP, John Boehner, meteorology, Newt Gingrich, payroll tax bill, Rick Perry, teabaggers

Here in Iowa, Michele Bachmann is waylaying K-Mart shoppers and with wild-eyes and smeared lipstick, screeching in desperation: THE IS THE TEAPARTY’s LAST CHANCE!

Of course she means, she is their last chance, and if she doesn’t win the Iowa caucuses, her campaign (which has been dead for months) will be declared so, and buried.

But actually, she speaks the truth in some sense (now Politifact don’t keel over!)

Back in Washington, the usual dunderheaded nonsense is playing out. I refer to the payroll tax bill. While talking points abound on the GOP side, the truth is pretty evident. Boehner stepped in his own poo again.

The Senate, which almost never agrees on anything, including the time of day, actually passed the bill, albeit for only two months and with a proviso that Obama must ignore environmental concerns and decide on the Keystone Pipeline within 60 days.

Since, I believe that Boehner and McConnell have phone service, we know they chatted about the Senate version, and Boehner signed off. Otherwise McConnell looks a fool, (well he does that anyway, so more so). So when Boehner tries to line up his sniveling brats to vote, they fall en mass on the floor and start screaming: NO!

Now, of course the spin is that the House GOP, is so concerned for the little folks that they want to extend the payroll tax cut for a year. And of course, they gleefully want to race to “conference” to “hash out the differences”. Where of course, it will die, and they can blame Democrats for that and who’s the wiser, since conference meetings are not public meetings. This is simply about the TeaNutz® wanting to deny Obama a “win.” And they are ready to sell the average Joe down the river to do it.

And of course, they are dead wrong on how this will be perceived.

Remember rule #1: Most people pay almost no attention to politics. They only catch a drive-by snippet of talking points as they go about their daily routine.

So what does the average unknowledgeable know?

• Congress as a whole sucks, and most of the jerks are on the take and don’t care about me.
• The House is controlled by the GOP and the Senate by the Democrats.
• The House passes all kinds of stuff, that never passes in the Senate.
• Almost nothing passes in the Senate.
• The payroll tax cut passed the Senate.
• The House voted it down.
• The House is controlled by the GOP.
• The GOP is at fault.

Boehner was unable to get his TeaNutz® to go along as he promised they would. Boehner cannot control these idiots. They actually called themselves “principled Scots” just like Braveheart. So they think it wise to compare themselves to Mel Gibson, Mr. Bigot.

And no they are not going to vote “down” the payroll tax cut. They are going to vote “for” it to go to Conference. They think they are so slick. Word is they are then going to high tail it out of town and leave the mess for the Senate.

The fat lady is about to take the stage. The TeaNutz® should spend some time looking around the Capital. They will be packing up their belongings next Christmas and returning to the obscurity of their rabbit holes in their respective states.

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So far, Newt’s handlers have convinced him to play nice with those who attack him. Just smile and stay on message. Since Newt is starting to sink, wanna bet he tells his handlers to go suck an egg, and erupts like Vesuvius? Truth is Newty has little money, and he has few options against the negative ad campaign against him.  So look for him to grab any microphone in sight and start spewing.

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How’s weather you way? We have had a few days of below 32°, but darn few that stayed there all day. We had some snow one day in mid-November, but it warmed up and melted within a couple of hours. It’s been my kind of winter so far. We’re expecting some rain today, and so we have postponed our last shopping before Christmas trip to buy the ham until tomorrow or Thursday.

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I know I shouldn’t, but I feel a tinge of sadness for Ricky P. I mean the guy looks for all the world like a lost puppy. The guys who pull his chain assured him this would be a good old Texas barbecue, and it’s become a New England Clam bake. If you watch him at the debates, every time he answers a question, he looks around expectantly to his fellow debaters for some sign that he got it right. And now he’s marrying himself to Jebus as a prophet to spread the word of Christianity. I mean it is totally sad doncha think?

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Tomorrow, let us talk about what government is. Or more particularly what we want it to be. See ya.

Related articles

• Showdown: House GOP set to defeat Senate payroll-tax bill after Reid says he won’t negotiate further; Update: Boehner cancels House vote (hotair.com)
• Payroll Tax Cut Bill: House To Wait Until Tuesday To Vote On Measure (huffingtonpost.com)
• House GOP delays vote on Senate two-month payroll tax extension (thehill.com)
• Boehner tries to derail bipartisan payroll tax holiday extension when far right flips out (americablog.com)

Is It Gonna Rain?

Tags

essay, Humor, meteorology, satire, weather

Okay, I’m as excited as the next gal about new technology. I mean, the wonders of IPhone and IPad and all those apps? I mean, how do they work? It’s well beyond me to fathom but I like ’em.

I marvel at the fact that I can record multiple shows at one time, watch another and call them up at will. (Actually I can’t–ours blew a metaphorical fuse today, and I’ve gotta stop at the Best Buy and get another one of these wonders on my way to a meeting later today). But you get the picture–I am just all agog at the things that can be done these days.

Now if they would only get me a transporter going and a replicator, I’d been in heaven, again metaphorically speaking.

Now weather. That I think bears more analysis. I remember, being almost as old as dirt now, when weather “forecasting” was akin to walking outside and taking a look. Oh sure, the “weatherman” or “weather-girl” (there being no such thing as a weather-woman) just went up on a hill and got a better look.

They, in their wisdom or ability to correctly see, would tell us at 6pm on Monday, what it was likely to be like on Tuesday. Now, perhaps they were lazier than going up onto a hill. Most of my life, our weather came in from the west so I guess it made sense to call over to a western town and ask them what the weather was like–it could fairly be presumed that tomorrow that is what we would enjoy.

Course, they were wrong a huge amount of the time, to the point that nobody really depended on them anyway. It was just a good guess, slightly better than stickin’ your nose our yourself.

So far so good.

But then. Technology started seeping into weather divination and well, things have never been the same. First they started calling themselves meteorologists, all high and mighty. They actually went to college and studied this crap, instead of being the slightly dull (can’t broadcast the news but still looks good on camera if a  dude, or the girl who was queen of the Homecoming in town and was still perky though again, unable to read the news competently).

So they started to throw their weight around and use a lotta words like barometric pressure and lows and highs, and well, it got worse until today we got the El Nino or La Nina, all of which mysteriously affects the weather in Iowa.

And instead of telling me about what the weather will be like tomorrow, they started telling me about two days later, then three, and then, horror of horrors, a week! And guess what?

They got wronger and wronger, or more wrong and more wrong, if you are a stickler for proper niceties. And this, I claim is causing a lot of unnecessary depression throughout the land.

Yes, people like me, actually make plans based on what they tell me is going to happen. And then they are wrong, and I’ve wasted time and sometimes money just because they are so arrogant in telling me what they know, is just so much smoke and mirror guesswork.

Worse, people spend more money making contingent plans, in case the 20% chance of rain turns up a few notches to 80% by the night before. And then, of course, it doesn’t rain, and you’ve wasted a lot of time and trouble for nothing.

I don’t even understand this 20% crap in the first place. Is it a 20% chance that it will rain everywhere, or only in 20% of the listening area? Come on, it’s about time to come clean here. Now the Contrarian says that they are getting it more wrong more often, and he claims that that is because that the bigger and better technology gives them a “bigger” viewing audience in terms of space, so they gotta predict over larger land masses than before.

Could be.

And what’s even worse? As if anything could be. The damn dinks actually seem that they are having a good time while telling me that my weekend is ruined for planting or what I did plant is gonna freeze (oops another of those bizarro frosts in July!), or any manner of really depressing information that I don’t wanna hear.

And they love it. The fools in Cedar Rapids are rabid about the subject. Joe and Kai and some nerdy 13 year old just can’t wait for more air time, and break into my calm television viewing, to remind me for the hundredth time to “seek cover in a basement, or bathroom or hallway, away from windows (no chit!).” And it’s always “immediately!” too.

And they stay on the air like that for 45 precious ( of mine that is ) minutes, and there I went and lost another episode of Lost to their crap, and it hasn’t rained a drop here! Oh and then they tell me, in some crawl at around ten in the morning the next day. that the episode will be rerun tonight at one in the morning, thank you very much. Well thank god for Tivo! No wait, I have to get a new one!

So, this all ends up making me depressed about next Monday, and it’s only Tuesday before, and probably Monday’s lousy weather won’t even happen, so I’ve wasted a grump on nothing, and don’t that make you feel slightly S T U P I D?

And Joe is grinnin’ and saying “gotcha” under his breath. Yeah, well I think they all just oughta shut the zip zip up and I’ll go back to lookin’ out the window to determine the weather, as God no doubt intended in the first place.

Just sayin’.