Well We Weren’t Supposed to Be Here

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funny things, Humor, liberals, life in the foothills, meanderings, Murphy's law, reactionaries

See, we were supposed to be exiting on Piedras just about now. The Contrarian had an eye appointment at the VA at Ft. Bliss at 10:20 am. They called to confirm last evening. They called to disconfirm this morning.

The doctor is “sick” or more likely off doing something that is way less boring that establishing an eyeglass prescription like he was supposed to do.

I hate it when my day is turned upside down, even when it means I have the day more to myself. I have to cook now. Instead of having leftovers. I like leftovers. They require little time in the kitchen.

I’m lazy.

I could have gone to the pool since I can’t go tomorrow. I have an appointment at Pet something or other over on Lohman and Walnut to learn how to clean kitty cages and play with the little buggers for a couple of hours. I’m being sent by A.W.A.R.E. (have no clue what that all stands for) but they are a rescue operation that offers kittens for adoption at all the various pet shops in Las Cruces. I know I’m not going to Pet Co or Pet Barn, so it’s the other one.

I’m going to be a volunteer. I may be the Sunday volunteer if I can get in at 9 a.m., since my church is fairly close by, and I could go after mass. If somebody is there that early to let me in. Being retired is sure tiring.

Don in Massachusetts has a list of Murphy’s laws. I’m going to reprint it in its entirety, because I don’t want you to have to link to see the whole thing, and they are all good, and I’m lazy, so it makes a great filler. Don is a great little blog so do visit AFTER you have read all of me. I am way more gooder than he. I’m also being silly today as you can see. Screw up my schedule and I become silly. Remember that for future reference.

MURPHY’S OTHER 15 LAWS

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those, who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court,you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I can attest to that last one. It is my considered professional opinion, that the combined IQ of a jury is less than the highest IQ of any of its members. Remember that one. There will be a test. And it will be a POP Quiz, which somehow  came to mean a test that was not announced before it was announced. In other words, I guess it just “popped” into the head of the mean teacher as a fun thing to do to students.

I’ve been wondering about another thing too. How long does it take you to realize that somebody is really really stupid? I mean ever met someone who you thought was normal and then sloooowllly you realize they aren’t? It’s like “whoa this is a fool, I’m talking to!” And then your smile, sort of becomes a pasted on thing, as you try to figure out how to escape before he/she erupts in a cackle and brandishes a machete? You know what I mean? Just a thought. Remind yourself of it next time you’re walking alone in the park.

I was told yesterday on Facebook that I could probably pick up my black arm band at the local DNC to further my mourning of Hugo Chavez. I find that weird. Just weird. But it came from a reactionary who denies climate change and thinks Milton Friedman is a god. I find reactionaries weird. Well actually, I don’t find them so weird as I find them simplistic. Their motto seems to be, “if it puts a dollar more in my pocket today, I’m for it. Screw YOU”. Now it is catchy I admit that, and easy to remember.

I figure selfishness is highest among “onlyies”. I’m an only. You know, only child. You don’t even begin to learn sharing until you go to kindergarten. That’s a bit late. You can get hit a lot by other kids, for not, you know, sharing. To an only, the world is “all mine.” I’m much better at sharing now, but I admit I still get a twinge.

I think liberals are people who have twinges. Reactionaries are pretty much numb to such conscience-poking ideas. That’s why conservatives are self-reporting as “happy”.  They don’t worry about how others feel much. Us liberals, we are all full of angst at the unfairness of life. We’re happy being that way though, and I think that counts for something like happiness.

I’m making a burrito pie for dinner. It’s comforting to eat casseroles doncha think?

Take care until tomorrow.