Knee Deep in Hair Tufts

Tags

death, guns, Health care, loons from the right, marriage equality

It’s fairly easy to pick out uber conservatives (aka nut jobs) today. They are the bald ones, having pulled out every last hair upon their holy heads at the vile in-your-face rebuke offered them by “those five unelected lawyers” who have seemingly taken to poking a stick at family values and the American way all in one fell swoop.

I arrived home yesterday to find my Better Half (aka the Contrarian) all dressed up and meeting me at the door. After the usual, “how was the pool?” dialogue, I was unable to contain my query any longer. “Why are you all dressed up in your big-boy clothes at 9:30 in the morning?” i asked.

“Guess you didn’t hear the news,” he grinned. “Gay marriage is now the law of the land, and according to WorldnetDaily, the next step is mandatory marriage. I don’t even have a boyfriend yet, but I’m ready if anyone shows up at the door as my designated gay-marriage mate.”

“I won’t make the cake you know,” I reminded him, “since it’s  my constitutional right based on religious freedom not to be forced to sanction your unholy alliance. Besides, since I’m gonna wear white, I don’t wanna take a chance on getting ganache all over me.”

I have no doubt that similar scenarios were played out all over America.

It’s now a day later, and well, we are being patient. I do hope the Committee to Assign picks a suitable dude for my dude. We are still negotiating whether I’ll get my own room or just get a King-size bed.

Oh, in case you have any “in” with that committee, we just want to say, we are open to most anything but we both dislike back hair if you don’t mind not sending that type. Otherwise we’re pretty open-minded.

On the other side of the ducat you will find your pass to health care still intact. Much as the uber right was praying to see millions of weeping ex-insurance holders collapsing in cancerous piles, all to the tune from The Life of Brian–bring out your dead!

Justice Roberts is being hung in effigy throughout the south and other hidey-hole enclaves throughout the lower forty-eight. “Traitor” is being bandied about and serious inquiry is afoot to determine whether the Chief has middle initials of B.A. and no I ain’t talkin’ about Bachelor of Arts.

It’s been a thoroughly bad week for the side that hides its hatred and bigotry behind phrases like “religious freedom” and “work ethic”. As usual they betray themselves in ‘splainin’ that all they want to do is punish the sin and give charity as they see fit without being taxed. Cuz we are so wilfully caring of our fellow-man and woman ya know.

Meanwhile, another  very right-wing piece of refuse, killed a bunch of surely very nice folks at a Black church in Charleston S.C. The Foxy Fools immediately decried this “attack on Christianity” furiously trying to pretend it had nothing to do with race hatred, since we live in a post-racial loving America.

Inevitably, somebody mentioned that once again, mass murder by guns in the hands of a loon. And just as surely,  the Foxy Fools  recalling their Murdock learnin’ responded, “the libs are trying to politicize this tragedy once again! Shame on them!” This while, Wayne La PeePee, stuttered in a whisper, “tell ’em to buy all the guns they can, cuz that Nazi-Arab-lovin’ usurper in the GOD-DAMN IT, CAN’T YOU SEE IT’S A WHITE HOUSE, is surely gonna take them away from you, declare martial law and declare himself Emperor for life.” Wayne’s phone went off, to the tune of cha-ching.

Meanwhile, I engage in yet another fruitless discussion with idiots. “If the crime rate has gone down in the last 25 years, as you say, well it must be because our gun laws are perfectly strict now,” said the lady who is too lazy to even determine whether crime is down as “I say”, let alone offer a rational explanation. Actually, the drop in crime is so significant that it has spawned several major studies done by illustrious public institutions like the U of Chicago, and the Brennan Center for Justice.

Guess what? It has to do with abortion (meaning unwanted children are not raised in poverty and do not fall victim to crime as a means to get out), and the passing of clean air/water act which cleaned up the lead in our old housing units and the neurological damage is does. Or better policing. Open carry and conceal carry? Zero impact on falling crime rates. Strict gun laws? Huh?

Now that’s gotta twist some knickers don’t it? Things the GOP and the so-conservative-it-hurts group have opposed. Abortion and regulation are ugly words to a Rightie.

So how about that Confederate flag thing? Yep, as soon as the GOP gave up any hope that the Foxy Fools could work their magic and turn the issue of a mass shooting to serve their own purpose, well the GOP turned on a dime and became “outraged” and all agreed that Nickki Haley was “courageous” in doing the “right thing”. Course the Nickster saw the flag as no problem just a few months earlier when running for her re-election.

“Why the CEO’s I’ve talked to haven’t ever mentioned that Confederate flag,” she assured us, so what’s the problem? Black folk, you see, did not figure into her determination. Why should they care?

Meanwhile, Governor Abbott in Texas proves what was deemed unbelievable only a few months ago. Somebody can do a worse job than Rickie “glasses” Perry. Abbott, appointed some woman to head up the state’s Board of Education. Which is of course not remarkable, except the woman appointed home schools her kids.

Did you read that? She home schools her kids because she doesn’t believe in the public school system. How rich is that? Seriously?

I’m keeping a close tab on all points of egress from the US. There are scores of drooling half-wits who claim that if either Obamacare or gay marriage came to fruition they would be movin’ elsewhere. I want to be sure to be there to wave them goodbye. And then burn the damn ramp to the boat once they are aboard. Good riddance!

Oh and California is facing a water shortage. Actually they are facing NO FUCKING WATER. This lead one lady to blame it on gays. God surely hates the wrong people screwing each other she bellowed and will punish US. And the rest of the thirsty bunch is suing to make sure they get their fair share of dry sand.

I gotta say, it’s been a good week for sanity. If you sort out the bullshit.

The Conversation We Need to Have About Gay Rights

Tags

essay, gay rights, marriage equality

I have a friend who often wonders why people care about the personal lives of other people. Why does anyone care whether somebody chooses to be single or married, have children or not, wants to sleep with this one or that one? Yet, it is undeniable that some people do care. Perhaps it is nothing more than powerless people attempting to force their lives on others in some vain attempt to feel superior, because their choices are “right” and that makes them feel better about themselves.

Some small few no doubt have deeply seeded religious notions (however wrong I may adjudge them) that urges them to compel others to live as they do, while paying lip service to a “religious freedom” that they conveniently reserve only for themselves. A great many more use religion as a shield to their own perhaps unconscious fears that they have certain stirrings which occur when the subject comes up, stirrings contrary to their definition of fitting into their particular group.

As polling suggests, the country continues to move more and more strongly in the direction of marriage equality. And the small, but adamant religious right, continues to voice its disapproval. But if it were this alone, we could all be content to “let the hater’s hate” with their pretense of “hating the sin, while loving the sinner.” Life always contains such out of the mainstream extremes so it seems.

But it is of course not “this alone.” This vocal and increasingly violent speaking segment continues to come up with innovative ways of making their animus known and felt. In reddish states across the nation (some six at the present with another half-dozen who have recently turned down such legislation), Republicans attempt to legislate bigotry in the face of a growing certainty that marriage equality will soon be the law of the land.

Republicans in general and those who appear to be running for President, reel like drunken sailors attempting to negotiate a rational path that both satisfies the “law or the one anticipated” and their growingly hostile base which insists on purity on this issue as on others. Of course there ends up being nothing rational at all in their stance.

Bush, Rubio, and Cruz are more than vocal in their support of the new mantra, that somehow there must be laws to protect the “religious” rights of people not to engage with gay people in their businesses if they don’t want to. There is no doubt that Huck, and Christie and Paul, and certainly Carson and Jindal agree as well. The fact that the argument is farcical is of no import. It “sounds” good, and that is always enough for the Right to pursue against a populace usually too busy with daily life to seriously disassemble the argument.

It’s all about religious freedom and not discriminating against Christians they intone. But is it?

As Jon Stewart pointed out, the florist who can’t bring themselves to sell flowers to a gay couple for their wedding, doesn’t even ask the trice about-to-be married man or woman, whom arguably Jesus would call adulterers. It doesn’t inquire into the criminal background of the pedophile, or the swindler before selling them a bouquet for their home. It doesn’t inquire of the drug dealer, murderer, before selling them the “wedding special.” All these instances are surely as egregious to God as the couple who has the temerity to love without benefit of the “right” plumbing arrangements.

These pieces of legislation are simply ruses to make you and I abide by somebody else’s personal preferences or to guard against their personal fears. Naming it “God’s will” doesn’t change a thing.

People talk about “deeply held religious beliefs” on the part of the florist or photographer. How is one to make that determination? By asking? By church attendance? By tithing amounts?

People talk about “next church’s will be forced to perform marriages against their tenets.” Really? Who has ever asked for that? There is no law in this country that attempts to interfere directly in church operations. Is anyone stopping the Westboro Baptist church from preaching hate every Sunday? Has anyone suggested that we should?

People talk about forcing people to serve others against their religious views. Well, yes, they are being told that. They are serviced, those businesses, by fire and police, they pay taxes, they receive water and electricity, the meet building codes, and sanitation requirements. They are in a fact engaged in a public endeavor, using city and state services. They are in a phrase, engaged in commerce, a public event. As such, this is simply one more general requirement of engaging in a public business–NOT DISCRIMINATING AGAINST PEOPLE BECAUSE THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT THEM YOU DON’T PERSONALLY LIKE. Live with it, or get out of public sector business.

People like Rubio and Bush and Cruz attempt to draw some lines, such as “well we don’t mean they can’t be served in a restaurant.” Why not? How is that different from a florist? Which businesses are magically exempt? Will Hobby Lobby and it’s fakery about being offended by contraceptive care when it buys most of its inventory from abortion friendly China get the exemption?

People say that being gay is a choice. The question always becomes, so when did you “decide” to be straight? But putting aside the “gotcha”, why do religionists insist upon this “choice” thing? The weight of the evidence is that there is a genetic component which probably is in some way triggered by one’s environment. Or perhaps it is all genetic. Whatever it is it is not a choice, for even in today’s liberalizing environment, who would choose gayness with all its inherent problems? Surely more gays today are happy with their gayness, but at the point of decision would they have chosen this fight? Precious few of us desire to be martyrs.

The reason the religionists need gayness to be a choice is that is simply solves a lot of theological problems for them, and thinking makes religionists heads hurt. If it’s not a choice, then God made gays that way and it must be good if you read Genesis literally. So explain why God makes gay people and then demands of them to ignore the most basic of human needs and desires–sex? They can’t of course, so therefore, it must be a choice. It keeps the theology tidy.

And of course, if Gay is not a choice, there goes the argument that “gays are out recruiting your children” argument. It makes as much sense as saying that people who love surfing go out recruiting your children to be surfers.

This is just painful to write. Because as I type away, laying out the arguments, I try to imagine what it must feel like to be the subject of such an essay. People talk about gays and blacks and browns and women, and all minorities fighting for equality as if they were subjects on a chessboard. I say “the gays” or “women believe” as if they were some homogeneous pat of butter to be added or subtracted to the mix of human stew.

This sort of thing needs to stop being discussed because we need to stop putting people in these awful categories of “people like me” and “people not like me.” It’s all artificial, all just a disguise for our own hates and fears, and confusion.

People are people. Love is love. Let people work out for themselves whom they love. Let them live as they choose with whom they love. Let them arrange their love in whatever form works for them, and mind your own freakin’ business. Nobody wants to watch you groping and rolling in your bed with your love.

Don’t get me started on “then somebody will want to marry a horse,” crap. Just don’t.

As my husband says, the doorbell has still not wrung with my government-issued gay husband that I have to marry. Isn’t that enough for you bigots?

 

Flat-Heads Speak Up From Flatlandia

Tags

Election 2012, gay rights, GOP, Herman Cain, Humor, marriage equality, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, poverty, teabaggers

The land where syllogisms are upended and deductive reasoning is banned.

Flatheads abound in our country today. (This comes as news to those who have regarded the long extinct Neandertal flatheads.)

For instance, this gem of non-existent logic:

A new group, called the Center for Marriage Policy, can explain all this marriage equality demand quite simply. Led by none other than our dear anti-feminist, old hag Phyllis Schlafly, whose vagina has been locked down for four decades now, CMP alleges that the marriage equality fight is waged by feminists.

And the reason why? Because these lazy old beotches want to screw the day-lights out of men, while married to women, so as they can collect welfare from government, by forgetting their birth control and making them babies, and because they really hate men anyway, but love that love stick. Confused?  Then you have reached the state of Flatlandia!

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The way to sidle up to the African-American folk, according to Newt, it to offer them jobs. Newt, sees the problem: little black kids have zero role models when it comes to the work ethic. His solution? Putting them to work as early as age nine. And bonus: the GOP hates the minimum wage, so of course, they can be paid slave below minimum wage  too. Newt admits that  some of these poor kids do get some work ethic, but only from “illegal” jobs. Can’t wait to see Newt’s favorables skyrocket in the African-American community.

Newt has more advice for other poor folks. Besides his advice, (which no one can seriously argue with) to take a bath before going out to interview,  the salamander has come up with some more good advice. And that is: stop all this unemployment insurance. According to Newt, 20-40% of those who are denied extensions, go out and get a job. Newt of course is silent on the other 60-80%. This is Flatlandia! And this is red meat to Flat-Landers. This from the dude who charges $60,000 for an hour speech. We look pretty damn little from that high perch don’t we Grifter?

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Herm Cain says that the country is run by stupid people. In a round world, one might say, “it takes one to know one”, but in Flatlandia, what passes for sage GOP heads, nod in agreement.

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• Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

• She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up;

These are common pick-ups lines  in Flatlandia. (from 3quarksdaily)

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Alleluia! Here in Flatlandia, we have a new website: Women for Herman Cain. We start out by calling out those “husbandless” accusers of poor Mr. Cain. And then the testimonials, of all those women in America who Mr. Cain has not fondled or poked. Do not miss this one folks. Hours of viewing and reading pleasure. In Flatlandia, we take care of our own.

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In Flatlandia, Mittens is real. Because in Flatlandia, plastic is what everything is made out of.

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Michele Bachmann is starting to flesh out her Presidential team. Donald (he’s still THE HAIR here) Trump for Veep and Rick (still has a Google problem here) Santorum for AG. It is Flatlandia after all.

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Newt is heard to exclaim late at night by passers-by his hotel bedroom: “You’re riding the next President, BABY!” This is Flatlandia!

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Worries grow in Flatlandia, that recipients of food stamps might be using them to buy unhealthy fast foods. Flat-heads also believe that First Lady Michele Obama should stop trying to tell them what their children should eat in school cafeterias. This is called unnecessary governmental interference in personal lives. Flat-heads are proud of the fact that they can keep two diametrically opposed ideas in their head at the same time, and enunciate either at the drop of a hat, AND with a straight face. It’s a talent most flat-headers are required to accomplish before being allowed to graduate from high school.

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Megan McCain, a fine flat-header, has been around politics all her life. She knows a lot. She knows Sarah and she has now met Michele. She had a poor opinion of Michele, that is until she met her. And between the two? Well she had this to say:

“I think she’s — this is going to get me in trouble — but I actually I think she’s just more smarter.”

Yes, you ARE in Flatlandia! Megan, dear, you are more smarter than my dog, almost.

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There is a vote coming as to whether or not Mittens will be allowed to remain in Flatlandia. Plenty think he’s not flat enough. Flat-heads are fairly perceptive about such things. They can smell a fake. If they like the smell, they keep ’em, if not they throw them back. Mittens is like a used-car salesman who knows he’s a used-car salesman.

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Finally, in Flatlandia, words are important, and everyone must use good english. Here is a primer to help you negotiate the flatness of the land.

• Don’t say ‘capitalism.’
• Don’t say that the government ‘taxes the rich.’ Instead, tell them that the government ‘takes from the rich.’
• Republicans should forget about winning the battle over the ‘middle class.’ Call them ‘hardworking taxpayers.’
• Don’t say ‘government spending.’ Call it ‘waste.’
• Don’t ever say you’re willing to ‘compromise.’
• The three most important words you can say to an Occupier: ‘I get it.’
• Out: ‘Entrepreneur.’ In: ‘Job creator.’
• “Climate change” is less frightening than “global warming”
• Don’t ever ask anyone you want them to ‘sacrifice.’
• Always blame Washington.

Master wordman, Frank Luntz explains how those bad words are always “misinterpreted.”

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Hope you have enjoyed your stay. The next flight out to Round Earth, leaves in 20 minutes.

Warning: Those who choose to stay should NOT DRINK THE WATER!

Anybody for RotoRootering a Few Butts?

Tags

Bill O'Reilly, budget, debt ceiling, economy, fundamentalists, gay rights, GOP, idiotic laws, marriage equality, Oslo, religion, Reproductive Rights, state legislatures, teanutz, wingnuts, Women's issues

Bill O’Reilly, Fox Noise mouth, may be one of the more rational (at least he wants to be) voices at the propaganda machine, but heck that isn’t really saying anything much. He’s a mush head of the first order.

His “opines” are so often nothing but third-rank right-wing babble, and recently he took to sucking his toes once again.

If you hadn’t heard, the Institute of Medicine recently recommended that contraception should be available to women without co-pay requirements. If one is serious about cutting abortions, one would think that making sure that pregnancy avoidance would have top priority.

Not so to Billo. He theorized thusly:

 “Many women who get pregnant are blasted out of their minds when they have sex. They’re not going to use birth control anyway.”

Yes, women are just drunken sluts who get taken advantage of by sex hunting men. I suspect he didn’t think that through to the last part very well. Or as Keith Obermann suggested, maybe Billo was talking about his own relationships.

It’s what I like about Fox. They offend everyone, always. And make that a good hard steel bristle brush, thanks!

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Rushy Limpbaugh says the August 2 date on the debt ceiling was picked because it needed to be before the start of Ramadan. Louis Gohmert said it was picked because it was the day before the President’s birthday and he wanted it done to raise campaign funds. Steve King says there is no crisis because the President can order anything paid whenever he wants to. Michele said it all gave her a migraine.

If aliens ever landed and met these four empty vessels, they would mark this planet down as having: most intelligent life? whales. Make that an extra LONG steel bristle brush will ya? And with 4 ends? I wanna give it to them all at once.

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What I was hoping President Obama would say in his press conference yesterday:

“It seems that Speaker Boehner is not in control of his caucus. I ask them to send me Grover Norquist. Apparently he is in charge and I need to negotiate directly with him.”

Alas the President is too civil for that.

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Best line I’ve seen so far:

 “House Speaker John Boehner took his balls and went back to the House, presumably to give them back to Eric Cantor.” (Mustang Bobby at The Reaction )

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John Bolton, we have been lead to understand was “sure” that what happened in Oslo was an Al Qaeda operation. Course it wasn’t, since Bolton is an idiot. It was a homegrown terrorist, and self-identified “Christian conservative.” And so when somebody tells your that it is horrible to accuse fundamentalists of being dangerous. . . And would you dip that roto-rooter brush in hot sauce first?

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Meanwhile, folks on the extreme social right-wing are sure that this marriage equality in New York is one more step to the debauchery of Old Rome. This fine piece comes from “the sky is always falling” National Review. You’d think they would be embarrassed to print such sludge.

Just a few points:

• Brian S. Brown: Go look up the definition of racism. And when you are done, go talk to the small businesses that cater to weddings. They are ecstatic. And don’t get me started about divorce lawyers.
• William C. Duncan: Two points. It’s been pretty much debunked that marriage is for the purpose of procreation. As to “slippery slope” oh please can’t you be more creative?
• Chuck Donovan: What? I derive some comfort about ancestors? Are you nuts? Read what you wrote. I bet you can’t explain that drivel.
• Matthew J. Franck: No court mandated marriage equality, no legislative mandated equality. Oh yeah, we usually submit EVERY decision to a referendum. How long have you been in this country bucko?

Well there is a good deal more, but you get the drift. Make sure the roto rooters are all of the same-sex for this band of merry bigots.

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It is quite clear to me now that humans are a resilient species. How so? Why it progresses, fitfully I admit, even when only about 10% of its total numbers are certifiably sane. I bet no other species can claim that.You disagree? Well read AlterNet’s list of  “The 10 Craziest State Legislatures in America.”

Read it? Now tell me I’m wrong.

We now need so many roto-rooters that I can justifiably call myself a “job creator.” Lower my taxes you dolt!

 

 

 

Hurrah!

Tags

Alfred Stieglitz, American Petroleum Institute, birthers, Florida, gay rights, Georgia O'Keeffe, Iowa, marriage equality, religious right, Rick Scott, WND

At last! New York State passed a marriage equality bill and Governor Cuomo signed it into law immediately. We’ve been waiting for this for some days, and late in the day yesterday, we learned that the probable delay was the attempt to gather some extra votes so that it would not pass with a one-vote majority and thus leave one person as a target for the right.

It ended up passing with four votes more than needed and apparently eruptions of happiness occurred in the streets.

We congratulate the people of New York and welcome them into the circle of states that have finally recognized that all people are entitled to the freedom to love and be united with the person they love.

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Keeping to the theme of love for the moment, great love affairs are a favorite of mine, and the way I often name my pets–Kate and Spencer our first two cats are named after Hepburn and Tracy. A new book is out about the love and lives of Alfred Stieglitz and Georgia O’Keefe. Stieglitz was a photographer, and O’Keefe of course was the well-known painter. Her papers were released in 2006, twenty years after her death, and provide much of the basis for My Faraway One.

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I guess even dumb and evil Republican governors can hear the footsteps behind them. Rick Scott, the criminal that was elected in Florida, promised 700,000 jobs. So far he has only lost more jobs for the state with his “business first” schemes. Apparently realizing that his 20’s percentile favorables ain’t gonna win him a second term, Scott has taken to tweeting want-ads he finds. T’would be funny if it were not so darned sad.

There is a new organization in Iowa. Why should you care? Because one is probably coming to a city near you, if it’s not there already. The Iowa Energy Forum claims, through its “members” to be a grassroots organization concerned with “energy self-sufficiency and holding our elected officials accountable.” It’s pet project is the Keystone XL pipeline coming from Canada, and they are pressing presidential candidates to come out in support.

IEF is anything but grassroots. It is funded by the American Petroleum Institute, a trade association representing all the big oil companies, including Koch, Exxon-Mobil and BP. The group has been spotted passing out literature and asking their questions at events for Herman Cain and Mitt Romney as well.

There will no doubt be more of these “grassroots” groups in every state, all being paid for by one corporate interest or another. Beware and check them out. Their websites of course are sparkling clean of any fingerprints left by the corporate masters.

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 We all know the religious right is ummm, crazy would be a good word. Now you can read all about it from the inside, from Frank Schaeffer who was raised from birth in the home of two very dedicated evangelicals and his book, How Should We Then Live? was considered formative for no less than Michele Bachmann. We’ll he’s seen the light, and now tells a much different story. This is actually his second book on the subject and is entitled Sex, Mom and God.

The Daily Beast does a nice review, and it’s quite an eye-opener. Schaeffer documents the religious right’s fear and fascination with sex, and how this dominates nearly all their thinking. His own mother told him that his father demanded sex every single night in some weird attempt to avoid the temptation of David with some potential Bathsheba.

Weird, but then you always knew they were.

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From time to time, we’ve had occasion to mention the rag WorldNetDaily. It purports to be a “Christian” website, but in reality it is anything but. My crazy high-school classmate used to refer me to it constantly, and she walked with Jesus 24/7 in her own mind.

They always have a banner at the top offering you something to buy that will prepare you for the coming of the final War, such as survival gardens or bunkers or some such crap.

Today’s editorial explains for the zillonth time that Barack Obama is not eligible to be President, just like Hitler wasn’t. Read if for the amusement and leave a nice Facebook comment letting them know they suck.

 

Related articles

• New York Becomes Sixth State to Approve Gay Marriage (VIDEO) (blippitt.com)
• Bachmann: Crazy and Dangerous (unreasonablefaith.com)
• Georgia O’Keeffe’s Life (wiki.answers.com)