The Stupid Chronicles for April 20, 2013

Tags

2nd Amendment, Arkansas, crap I learned, gay rights, green energy, Humor, immigration, Iowa, Louis Gohmert, Maine, racism, Stupid Chronicles, Texas

Oh don’t mind me, I’m just acting like a Hispanic. Yes dear Louis the Lunatic tops our list today. But it was a close call I tell ya. Louis never fails to deliver the one two punch of stupid all wrapped up in crazy nearly every week. We sometimes wonder if Louis has a bank of writers who dream up his lines, but on reflection that would surely tip the balance and throw civilization into a retrograde orbit.

Louis dear Louis has a gem for us today. Let me put it thusly. Louis viewed Rodin’s the Thinker, and opined, “why is that dude taking a shit in public?”

Louis doesn’t have a pet rock, he’s the pet rock’s pet.

Louis knows his terrorists and he is here to tell you what he has learned. Islamic terrorist organizations are busy helping their Arab folks “act Hispanic” so they can cross the border from Mexico into America. (added joy: there is a video!)

Yes you heard it here.

Although Louis had no opinion of who caused the Boston Marathon bombings at the time he said this, he was pretty darn sure that a fence is the way to go. After all, Israel’s suicide bombings stopped when they built their fence, he offered, unaware that that is not at all true. A good guess is always good enough for Louis.

Compatriot idiot Steve King (R-IA) nodded in agreement and said that the immigration reform bill should be held up, because surely this bombing was caused (he thinks) by some student on a visa.

Louis offered no ideas about how one “acts” Hispanic. Several racist theories comes to mind, but Louis stopped short of asking people to be on the watch for the “typical” Hispanic behaviors. He did whisper that a dead giveaway that you were dealing with a “pretend” Hispanic was to offer him a jalapeño pepper and see if he cries out in anguish and calls for water after taking a bite.

Texas takes our number two spot as well, which isn’t a big surprise–it’s a big state with big idiots in it.

This is Ms. Ester Irene Stokes. She’s a school teacher in Texas. Or was, or confound it, she probably got herself a medal now.

Anyway, she was accused of fondling one of her female students. Now Ms. Stokes is 61 and the child in question was seven. So that is very bad stuff.

So Ms. Stokes tells police and anyone else who will listen that she is not guilty.

You probably assumed that didn’t ya?

Yes, well she has a rather unique defense.

She says that she is such a racist that she can barely stand to touch those little black girls in her class. The mere touch of their hands gives her the heebie jeebies and sends her off to wash off that black skin feel. I mean she actually cringes when the little nappy heads try to hug here, which must happen once every ice age at least.

There have been no responses by the school in question as to whether Ms. Stokes was still employed. What ya wanna make a bet she won’t have any trouble finding another job in some parts of the country at least.

No doubt that face will be forever seared in your brain.

Third on our hit parade for the week is Maine’s governor Paul LaPage.

Now Paulie has come to our attention before as you can note from some of his best work at the right.

But he kinda ran out of material for a little while. After the last couple of days though, I think he’s back in fighting form.

The Bangor News seems to have a particularly low opinion in the Guv, suggesting that he “makes things up” a lot.

Well, Paul is at it again. Paul doesn’t like wind power. He thinks it’s somehow un-American, being all cheap and non-polluting and such. Oil and Gas don’t like air power and that’s enough for big Paul.

So Paul said, “Now, to add insult to injury, The University of Maine, Presque Isle – anybody here been up there to see that damn windmill in the back yard? Guess what, if it’s not blowing wind outside and they have somebody visiting the campus, they have a little electric motor that turns the blades. I’m serious. They have an electric motor so that they can show people wind power works. Unbelievable. And that’s the government that you have here in the state of Maine.”

Of course, no such thing is true. The University says there is no “little motor”.

All this would be funny, and it is, but the answer to Paulie’s nonsense is that he’s touched in the head. Read crazy as a loon. Read, coming up on Louis’s shoulder and threatening to pass.

Paulie intends to run for re-election. He predicts that the teacher’s unions better watch out, cuz he’s coming for them. And his new idol? Well that ever-favorite of Wisconsin, Scott Walker.

“I will guarantee you that you will see the most vicious education campaign ads that you’ve ever seen in your life next year, because I am going to be the next Scott Walker in this country, because I am challenging the status quo.”

No, Paulie is challenging the all-time low IQ in the USA. I am putting my bets he will win.

Fourth is a new face for us, GOP House Representative from Iowa, Dennis Guth.

Guth is one of those self-styled experts on the issue of homosexuality.

Guth first focused on the media and accused them of making that homosexual lifestyle seem good and nice, when we all know it’s really yucky.

See, Guth says, homosexuals are like “second-hand” smoke, they cause harm to those around them who are normal. They cause health risks to his family he says, by their increased invitation to transmittable sexual diseases. He opines that there are “more medical tests required” before you can give blood or birth. He thinks they are connected but forgot to say how.

Other than that, Guth was unable to explain why their diseases would “harm” his family, unless of course one posits that either he or members of his family regularly engage the services of willing homosexuals for ummm, sex.

Guth is an idiot, and his Democratic colleague told him so.

Our fifth and last entry for the week comes from good old Arkansas, a state that often shows us the butt end of humanity.

Nate Bell, is (you guessed it) a REPUBLICAN state rep from good old Ar-KANSAS, who is a protector of the 2nd Amendment, which he neither understands, nor defends with anything other than yippie-ki-yo-ki-yay blather.

Well, inside that fun face is a very human and very empathetic individual. So as soon as he heard about the manhunt going on in Boston and its environs, wondered via Twitter:

I wonder how many Boston liberals spent the night cowering in their homes wishing they had an AR-15 with a high-capacity magazine?

I mean how sympathetic can a guy be?

I mean really?

Nate withdrew the Tweet once it was pointed out to him that he was being a total douche. Of course it was up long enough for a long list of people to tell him that.

Good luck Nate on re-election.

And if you have not run into these videos (YouTube has several by the same guy), then sit back and for a couple of minutes, just chortle your little heart out. Dry up your tears at the above and replace with belly laughs.

Related articles

• LePage Spins Windmill Conspiracy Theory (thetippingpoint.bangordailynews.com)
• Outrage as Rep. Gohmert says radical islamists being trained to act Hispanic (nbclatino.com)

 

Putting “Bob” in a Search Engine

Tags

critical reading, critical thinking, Louis Gohmert, Media, PPH, right wing extremists, sex education, Texas

You know, everybody says they “don’t believe everything” they hear. Everybody likes to think of themselves as discerning individuals who eyes can’t be covered with wool. But the truth is, most people aren’t educated, or have not taken the time to really work at what can only be termed a skill set.

Being a critical reader doesn’t come naturally. A Facebook friend of mine is busy trying to educate a few people about how to tell the questionable from the reliable. He makes a good point. You might want to ignore a source that gives you salacious or wild headlines without a corresponding story. In other words, if the headlines don’t turn out to match the actual verifiable facts in the story, well, you might want to look elsewhere.

A case in point was a recent Rachel Maddow show wherein Ms. Maddow referred to the town hall meeting that John McCain had. A woman referred to her son as having been the victim of gun violence. She wanted to know about what laws Congress might pass. McCain first expressed his condolences for the loss of the woman’s son, and then remarked that “Congress was not going to ban assault weapons.”

Now Rachel indicated that the tape of this had been edited by a local news operation, and that “it might unfairly portray Senator McCain as lacking in compassion. (the tape omitted the sentence regarding McCain’s sympathies). The tape was offered for the news that McCain was saying that the GOP was not going for any ban on assault weapons and this was before there had even been any hearings on Feinstein’s bill.

Yet, the headline from a right-wing shrill machine was something like “Rachel Maddow gleefully admits she edited tape to make GOP look bad.”

I assume you get the point.

The Daily Caller has been pushing the Melendez story. You have obviously heard about it. Melendez is accused of cavorting with paid prostitutes at a friend’s home in the Dominican Republic. The story was apparently “leaked” by GOP operatives and offered to ABC news. They declined.

The right-wingers would say, “see, the MSM is in the pocket of the Democrats. They don’t report on misconduct of one of their own.” Is that what happened? No. Not at all.

The fact is that ABC interviewed one of the “prostitutes”. When asked how she knew that the man she had only known as “Bob” was a US senator, she replied that “I put his name in a search engine and Melendez’ picture came up.”

Why, I invite you to try that and see what you get.

ABC news declined the offer as “unreliable”, which of course The Daily Caller jumped all over it. Which one do you want to use as a source of information? (And I’m not pushing ABC news since I don’t find them all that good either.)

Which brings me full circle, since yesterday I unfairly maligned a nurse quite possibly, for failing to render CPR assistance to an elderly assisted-living woman. Apparently the woman had signed a DNR and I can presume that the nurse was aware of it. Or I would expect that was possible. In any case, I admittedly relied on only what I heard on news broadcasts from MSM and failed to delve any deeper into better sources. Mea Culpa. Live and learn. Hoisted on my own petard. (please insert any another euphemism that seems appropriate)

†

I’m inclined at this point to urge the government to just put a big ole fence around the state of Texas. Now granted, they are a big state, and they have a big population, but for Jimminy Cricket’s sake, they can’t have THAT many idiots can they?

Louis the Loon Gohmert is wasting your tax dollars once again with his amendment rider to a budget bill that would prevent any “federal funds” being used to transport the President to any golf outing until “White House tours are resumed”. Louis woke up from a drug-induced dream and thought he was in Lilliputian land again. The White House suspended tours to save money ala the sequester. Louis takes up space on the planet. I vote to suspend him from a hot air balloon, attached to the capital dome.

Another dim bulb in the state Senate wants to suspend operations like Planned Parenthood from submitted sex education materials to schools that teach sex education. Although all such materials are already subject to public availability and parental veto, Ken Paxton thinks (I know, a crazy word to apply to many in Texas), that present law doesn’t go far enough.

Places like PPH should not be allowed to offer health care information because of course they have a “conflict” of interests. Being that they provide abortions, they most surely would be promoting sex by unmarried teens as a way to, you know, keep business up.  While no example of any information that does that was offered as proof, insiders believe that if you put the brochures in water with a teaspoon of sugar, the words “HAVE SEX NOW!” will appear across the top of each page.

Okay, I added that last part.

And people talk about the misuse of taxes.

Related articles

• Daily Caller sticks with Menendez claims; ABC News discredits them (dailykos.com)
• MSNBC Uses Selectively Edited Video to Smear McCain (freebeacon.com)

Let’s Hear It for Louis the Lunatic!

Tags

death penalty, GOP, Karl Rove, Louis Gohmert, teabaggers

Ah dang, he’s gone and done it again. Put me into a dilemma as to who is the dumbest TeaBibber of them all.

And I really really object to the poor elephant being subjected to association with this band of misfits. It’s, well, elephant abuse!

Anyway, Louis, cuz he’s dumb as a bag of hammers, finally let the cat out of the bag. (Like all those metaphors doncha?) What did he reveal unintentionally?

Oh what the REAL reason for the hoopla over gun safety is about. You see it’s not about the lil children and their safety. Nor the pregnant woman home with three squalling babes having to fend off sixteen rapist-mad snarling sub-humans. It’s not about protecting oneself from evil criminals. No, it’s never really been about that.

It’s all about protecting ourselves from the Evil man in the White House and his black ops helicopter crews and their drones come to ferret out the true Americans from all the takers in the land.

Yes old Louis says we need those big clips for ammo precisely because as you no doubt already know–you can’t take down a government drone with only a few bullets. It will take a BIG clip. And you just know it’s gonna happen. Why else have you bought all that camouflage gear?

Do you think anybody walks down the hall in Congress and sees Louis without snickering?

Oh, in case you didn’t have this information at the ready, Louis says it takes 50 bullets to accomplish the task. So buy accordingly.  And he got his info straight from some yahoo in Alabama or Georgia–the repository of all good solid knowledge in America.

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One of the true joys of living a long time is the very real chance to see complete and utter butt asshats get theirs. No, I’m not vindictive. I don’t actively go out and try to get back at anybody who wrongs me or mine. I am utterly convinced that bad shit will eventually happen to bad people. It’s karma.

That seems to be what is happening at last to Karl Rove, the little dough boy who is sicker than your average serial killer. Karl has some more dirty crap that most people could do in seven lifetimes, and after wasting millions of dollars ($400 or more) in the last election, he’s trying to resurrect himself by blaming it all on the Tea Bibbers.

Now, I’d be the first to say that they are a major player in the joke that has become the GOP, some of it falls on dear old Karl himself and various other idiots from Grover Norquist, to Willard Romney, to the extreme right-wing religiosity gang. In any event, Karl wants you to think it’s the Tea Toters, and that it would be a good idea to give him more money so that he can rectify the good ship GOP.

To that end, he started his new super Pac, Conservative Victory Project, to make sure that none of those stupid Christine McDonnell and Ted Akin wannabe’s need apply to run for any office, especially for the House or Senate. Well, as you might assume, the afternoon tea sippers are a might testy at that, trying to limit the public’s right to nominate idiots.

Proving that there is no familial love within the party, plenty are suggesting that it’s time for old Karl to jump back inside his biscuit tube and roll away. Preferably to an underground cave somewhere in the middle of North Dakota.

Ahh revenge, it is best served cold.

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You know, I recall that when Ricky Perry was trying to convince the country that he wasn’t quite the idiot people thought he was, he said I believe very directly that after all the folks he had signed off of and allowed to be snuffed out by a “legal” execution by the state and citizenry of Texas, he never suffered from an inability to sleep.

Such a remark of course is only said by a complete dolt.

It turns out that states are starting to move away from this hideous and barbaric crime against humanity. Maryland seems poised to repeal its death penalty law and return to being a civilized group of folks.

I’ve lived in four states in my life time, Michigan, Connecticut, Iowa and now New Mexico. Only one, Connecticut had the death penalty and they have not used it in decades I don’t believe.

Texas leads the nation with executing better than 450 since 1976, four times more than the next in line, Virginia. After that, it falls off hugely. Mostly the South is still kill happy. The link has a state-by-state rundown. See how your state fares.

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Well, it’s Friday. I wish you all a great weekend, though I shall be posting tomorrow, but seriously, you need to stop reading all this gloom and doom and have some fun. Or get inspired. Or get stinky high on whatever floats your boat. Here’s some pretty for you to begin with.

 

 

Related articles

• Nate Silver: Karl Rove’s War On Tea Party Extremists ‘Could Backfire’ (addictinginfo.org)
• The GOP & the Visage of Doom! ~ Tom Degan (elephantjournal.com)
• The Republican Party eats its own: Newt Gingrich and the Tea party vs. Karl Rove (dangerousminds.net)
• Tea Party Group Sends Fundraising Email With Pic of Karl Rove in Nazi Uniform (littlegreenfootballs.com)
• The rise of the lunatic fringe is an early warning (polizeros.com)
• Tea Party Congressman targets Muslims to oppose gun safety law (worldbulletin.net)

Aw Shucks and BeJesus!

Tags

George W. Bush, GOP, Louis Gohmert, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Muslim Brotherhood, NRA, religious right, social media

 

 

 

Doncha know that I am just bummed. I hear ex-pretence-of-a-president, George W. Bush, Dubya fun, dubya stupid to his friends, ain’t a goin’ to the big to-doin’s called the GOP convention.

Nope, he don’t wanna take the spot light off the dim bulb personality of Willard.

Given that Georgie was one of the more incurious types ever to sit his behind in the oval office, my guess is that it is just too boring for him to bother with.

But then again, no doubt the black sheep son is also somewhat concerned about his legacy. And associating with idiots probably would not help. Speaking of legacy, when I heard that the Texas stooge (not Gohmert or Perry), had written a book about EKO-NOM-IKS, I nearly lost my lunch in guffaws (Willard uses this term for laughing). I mean you gotta be kidding me!

Seriously. The man is a mental midget.

&

There is a really excellent post by Frank Bruni on the NYTimes editorial page about the super-noodle head, Michele Bachmann. Bruni examines her strange variety of “Christianity”, you know the one I mean. The one favored by the likes of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, and other hate-mongering types who use their sick interpretation of the bible to justify suppression of other people. Take a look. As always take a look at the comments.

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Ya know,  the NRA may tell me that I can’t talk about gun control because it is “politicizing” a tragedy. Which is dumb of course, but the crazy right thinks it’s exactly the proper time to blame it all on liberals. Colorado is Gods vengeance for turning away from Him. Sick huh? Which makes our favorite hate monger, Bryan Fischer’s remarks all the more backward:

It’s been interesting to me in talking to liberals, and I’m sure you’ve had this same experience, the conclusion I’ve come to is that they cannot be reasoned with because logic means nothing to them, facts mean nothing to them, history means nothing to them, reason means nothing to them. They just have these very strong feelings and the strength of those feelings in their minds is all they need to validate the positions they take. So I’ve just come to the conclusion that liberals cannot be reasoned with they can only be defeated.

Now that will make your head spin won’t it?

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Willard appears to be taking a page from the Gingrich (where the hell did he go?) playbook. Remember when ole Nootie Patootie was buying Twitter followers? Well it seems our boy Willard has done the same thing. His campaign of course denies it, but his numbers went up dramatically on one day, and they don’t match the retweets and tweets offered on that day. Estimates are that Willard’s twitter account contains only about 26% real people. For an unreal guy, hey that’s pretty good don’t ya think?

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Well one thing you don’t wanna do. Louis Gohmert Republican idiot from Texas, don’t take no “chit” from nobody, and that includes one John S. McCain–a man not known to take criticism well. Senator McCain had the audacity to criticize Gohmert and Bachmann and others who decided based on no evidence to attack a Hillary Clinton aide. McCain came to her defense.

Well, Gohmert didn’t care for that, and while appearing on the Dennis Miller (he has a show?) show, called McCain “numb nuts” and that McCain was probably under the influence of the Muslim Brotherhood.

I do believe that we are drawing near to a time when it can fairly be said that there are no minds at all in the GOP only facsimiles.

I bid adieu, adios, and good day to you all.

GOHMERT: Well, it’s obvious that John McCain didn’t even read the letter because of what he said in accusing Michele and us of making these horrible accusations. There were five letters and there were many things that are stated that are facts in each letter. And I wish some of these numb nuts would go out and read the letter before they make these horrible allegations about the horrible accusations we’re making. But we also know that John McCain himself had said back in the early stages of stuff going on in Egypt that he was, in his words, “unalterably opposed to helping the Muslim Brotherhood.” Well, obviously the unalterable person has been altered, so he is okay with it now.

Yeah, well now Louis, you have about as much sense as Gomer Pyle on a bad day, so I’d button that lip before Johnny comes and lays you out on the House floor for impersonating a Representative. And don’t land on no cactus when you fall there bud.

 

Related articles

• McCain calls accusations against Clinton aide ‘sinister’ – Christian Science Monitor (csmonitor.com)
• ‘Gentlemen’s Club’ Gangs Up on Bachmann (americanthinker.com)
• Louie Gohmert: ‘You See Me Hugging Muslims Around The World’ (huffingtonpost.com)
• Michele Bachmann’s McCarthyite Crusade Against Huma Abedin And Other Muslims (outsidethebeltway.com)
• Top Ten Reasons Texas Has George W. Bush On Ineligible To Vote List | Addicting Info (easyjjgrand3.newsvine.com)

 

Bring Out Your Dead. . . .A Good Guess is Close Enough

Tags

Congress, contraception, corporate America, Election 2012, embryos, evolution, GOP, life, Louis Gohmert, media whores, women's rights

Oh yes, I surely bet the GOP wishes it could spring clean and rid itself of festering nabobs of negativity. Echoes of Spiro the Agnew.

Here are just a couple of the funnier things I ran across yesterday after posting that I didn’t want you to miss.

 First off, according to Political Wire, a new Rasmussen poll shows that 43% of those polled believe that you could randomly pull names out of the phone book and have them serve in Congress and get more done. Nineteen percent “were not sure.”

And then there is our favorite whipping boy best friend, Louis Gohmert. Louis, is of the opinion, and one uses that term quite loosely where Lou is concerned, that the Alaska Pipeline has been a boon to the caribou herd. It seems that the deer males, invite the girls to warm their hooves near the line, and along with a bit of paté and a good Bordeaux, the love sours and the herd increases. So thinks our Loopey Louie. LL had no ‘splanation for why the herd just doesn’t meander down to Texas and enjoy the warmth there all over.

¶

We also get the following from Political Wire. You guys are all aware of the attempts of some GOPer’s to introduce legislation in various states to make a fertilized embryo a “life”, which created all sorts of scary scenarios, and even the folks of Old Mississippi decided that it was probably not such a good idea, and voted it down.

Well, another of those silly bills has been thrown in the hopper in Oklahoma. Trying desperately to show the dull state Republicans of their folly, Democratic State Senator Constance Johnson, offered this amendment:

“… any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”

Beware the wet dream gentlemen, beware. And about those Penthouses? I’d burn ’em boys.

¶

You might have heard. People thing Congress is a big pile of poo. They have an approval rating of only 10%. I think rocks have a better approval rating. I’m sure having your hip replaced scores higher. Having a root canal too. Running into Satan on the way to the grocery store scores 8% by the way. And no, I have no idea who those 8% are or where they live.

¶

Newt who?

¶

Nerd alert! A hypothesis is out there, that some of our greatest genetic weaknesses are also the basis of some of our greatest strengths. You can read more at Wired, and the author, who is writing a book on the subject, promises to make available his full article now appearing in the Atlantic, when it has passed out of its exclusivity clause. Worth a look at and a note to self to look it him up in a few weeks to read the entire article. What’s available now is worth the read.

¶

I’m getting pissier by the moment. OrangeAde Boehner is spouting that the HHS ruling that hospitals and universities must provide women with contraceptive care as part of their health care, is “unconstitutional” and an “assault on religious freedom”. Well bozo, such laws, implemented in at least 28 states of the Union, have been upheld as constitutional you idiot. Furthermore, such laws have been in place for a DECADE and nobody said boo during the Bush Administration. And furthermore, the Civil Rights Commission has ruled that failing to provide such coverage when the company provides other prescription drug coverage, is a CIVIL RIGHTS VIOLATION.

So save me all the wringing of hands and the moaning that we are religion is being assaulted and we are on the way to becoming a Satanist haven. And you Joe Manchin, (D-WVA) take my foot up your fat ass. You have more poor women in your state than most and they desperately need all the help they can get. Said idiot has joined Rubio with a bill to block the HHS rule.

¶

It’s something in the water I suspect. New Hampshire ReGigglicans are at it again with the stupid. Remember when they wanted all new legislation to cite to the portion of the Magna Carta they were addressed to? Well, another one of the brain-deficient GOPer’s has spent his time and taxpayer money on introducing a bill that will end the requirement that employers give their employees time for a lunch break. Ya know, because the kind CORPTOCRACY is so benevolent they will do it anyway. Isn’t that sweet? I guess he hadn’t heard of Wal-Mart and the 172 MILLION they were forced to pay for refusing to give employees a lunch break. There are others, but poor JR Hoell can’t read so what would be the point?

¶

And what rogues gallery of too dumb to live would be complete without the ever stupid, ever jaw-droppingly/finger-waggy/insufferably arrogant/so awful his hair wants a new owner, Sean of Hannity, who has become so irrelevant as of late that he has taken to suggesting that the President never really wanted to kill Bin Laden at all. Go view the video at Angry Black Lady Chronicles.

It’s almost the weekend, and it’s Fajitas for dinner!

Related articles

• Things Congress Talks About: Caribou Sex (newser.com)
• Rep. Gohmert: Ninth Circuit ‘Not Smart Enough’ To Bring Egg And Sperm Together (thinkprogress.org)

Speaking of the Debt Ceiling Crisis. . .

Tags

budget, debt ceiling, economy, Eric Cantor, GOP, hall of shame, Louis Gohmert, Michele Bachmann, political hacks, Steve King, teabaggers

Well, it’s been an interesting time of it since Mitch “the Turtle” McConnell offered up his “we wash our hands of this mess” alternative to a deal on the debt ceiling.

The hard right is wailing, and the usual bunch of nuts are pushing each other off the microphone, eager to spew their own idiocy before an increasingly irritated public.

Boehner lost his swagger as Speaker, and now stands mute and castrated behind boy wonder and all-around poop, Eric Cantor. Eric has seen that his only real path to the Speakership is over the dead body of Boehner and as champion of the TeaPeople, sliced and diced to anyone who would listen at the last White House meeting.

Finally President Obama reminded the little shit just who was President.

Now, people who only play the part of a journalist (moi) have been increasingly angry with the President over his handling of this budget deal. I’ve been fearful that he was giving away too much, especially as it relates to Medicare and Social Security. These are things I have paid my dues into and as I approach 62, they are becoming increasingly dear to my heart. Yet once again, as the Contrarian says, Obama proves to be playing chess against opponents who are playing checkers.

One blogger was wont to say that Obama and his team are either political geniuses, or the luckiest sons-a-gun on earth. They managed to say the right words, the GOP took the bait, and now they are firmly in a corner from which they cannot extricate themselves.

You gotta conclude that the President and the Democrats are in full control now when you see who is screeching from the right. Eric Cantor of course is now front and center. Trouble is, everyone knows he and Boehner don’t exactly get along, and everyone knows Eric wants Boehner’s job. So his credibility is like in negative numbers when it comes to trusting his motives in all this.

Next we find Sarah “do you still love me?” Palin. The Palinator, whose understanding of economics should fill up the label of a Valium vial, weighed in, explaining to Sean “the finger” Hannity, that Obama is holding the “full faith and credit” of the US of A hostage. Course she has not a clue of what she just said in that, having no concept of what the phrase full faith and credit means.

In words that send a thrill up the nether regions of her minions, the TeaPeople, she advised GOP leadership to “not retreat, but reload.” Trying desperately to recapture her fading relevance, Wasilla Woman mewed that she didn’t even under stand Mitch’s latest capitulatory offer. (No surprise there.) In addition, she opined that she didn’t “necessarily believe” that a default on August 2 would be catastrophic for the country. What she does “necessarily believe” was, of course, not forthcoming.

Meanwhile, the Larry, Moe and Curlycue show was going on elsewhere. If you can imagine a more hilarious threesome than Louis (Gomer without the brains) Gohmert, Steven (I have 732 anti-Obamacare bills pending) King, and Michele (pray the gay away) Bachmann, well I’m not sure who they would be.

These buffoons introduced a bill that would require (if anybody bothers to read their crayon on construction paper bill) that armed-service personnel be paid first if we go into default. All for show of course. Again, Michele also exited reality and said the President was “holding the full faith and credit of the US hostage”.

 She continues to claim that the President is lying about any catastrophe. Showing her math skills, she explains that although our obligations per month total over 300 billion, and our revenue is only about 125 billion, we “can pay all our bills from revenue.”

Steve King (of clowns) went on Chris Matthews and ‘splained that he gets his knowledge that there is no default problem from “the American people” and then puffed up and touted his own “independent judgment.” Chris pressed on, and King graciously added, his expertise on all matters economic came from “a long experience of dealing politically, and in business, and raising a family, and being an American citizen…”

Being suitably impressed with that Chris asked if King Dong read the Wall Street Journal or the NYTimes? King said, he did occasionally, but  “I don’t trust the words of any source.”

Steve, who vies next month against an orangutan named Nelly, for the world stupidity championship, was asked finally whether he could name one international expert who agreed with him. Steve, swelled up with superiority, and crowed, “this is not an international problem, it’s an American one!”

Louis (Larry Stooge) mostly stood in the background trying to decide when all this money talk was done what he would have for lunch. (American cheese on my burger or Swiss? Ahh, American, it looks much more patriotic).

Mr. Gohmert (Gomer Pyle without the voice), cautioned Mr. Boehner not to listen to that Obamer fella, and then mumbled, “just copy what lovely Michele said, as what I say too.”

That, ladies and gents, is an example of the big guns of intellectual stature batting for the GOP. I mean, they must be so proud.

Meanwhile average Republicans were asked to comment. To a person the same response: “Louis? Sarah? Michele? Steve? I never knew them.  And the cock crowed a third time.

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• Will Marshall: Will Cantor Blow Up the Economy? (huffingtonpost.com)
• Bachmann, King, Gohmert Have Solution To Debt Ceiling (lezgetreal.com)
• Obama-GOP debt talks get tense at White House (msnbc.msn.com)
• Eric Cantor Emerges as GOP Leader in Debt Ceiling Debate (socyberty.com)
• Passing the Ball to Eric Cantor (politicalwire.com)
• Reaction to McConnell’s debt-ceiling proposal highlights deep fissure in GOP (dailykos.com)
• Obama Takes Cantor to the Woodshed (economistsview.typepad.com)
• ‘Enough is enough,’ Obama says, calling for deal (ctv.ca)
• Obama vs. Cantor: Tempers Flare As Debt Ceiling Negotiations Take a Dramatic Turn (swampland.time.com)
• Why Mitch McConnell Will Win the Day (robertreich.org)

Oh, So What?

Tags

Common, Corporate American, education, Fox Noise, Friday 13th, GOP, Humor, John Ensign, Louis Gohmert, myths, racism, Rand Paul, rap, right wing wackos, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity

I could have passed the entire day without even knowing, but the MSM in its infinite infantile judgment, of course made sure I did.

It’s Friday the 13th. *yawn*

So, okay, I looked it up, frankly having no real idea what was behind it, other than it was a day of “spectacular” bad luck.

*yawn*

The explanation, which you are free to read here, was both stupid and boring.

I awoke with a mission. Which isn’t any big deal, it just means I had plans. So I scurried to get a load of wash in and running, and got to my routine stuff. Then I made spring rolls. The crab Rangoon turned out so great that I was emboldened to try my hand at the spring rolls. They are chillin’ in the freezer as we speak. We are having Chinese in a couple of weeks, and I’ll give you my opinion of how they turned out. And perhaps a recipe, but they are fairly standard–meaning you can put in about anything you wish. More on that later, as I said.

♦

There are times in this world when God blesses us with a perfect identifier.

Rep. Louis Gohmert, (R-TX), looks like an idiot. His name is idiotic. He is an idiot.  Thanks God, for the perfect storm.

♦

John Ensign (R-NV) couldn’t resign quick enough to avoid a public airing of the House Ethics investigation. And now we learn that his chief of staff has been granted immunity from prosecution.

Whatcha wanna bet that John will be wearing some striped clothing sometime soon?

♦

Rand Paul (R-KY) says that universal healthcare is akin to slavery. It forces him (the doctor) to be enslaved to caring for people even if he doesn’t want to. As was pointed out to the man of small brain, um…lawyers are provided free of charge to the indigent (and yes, the court can assign an attorney without their agreement to do a pro-bono case.

Did you know that Rand changed his name to Rand in honor of Ayn Rand? Ya know, the woman who had no use for the working class and poor because they are just parasites? Yeah, you go RAND. [h/t Under the Lobsterscope]

Actually Randy, slavery is not being able to live your life in a meaningful way because every damn dime you have must be devoted to paying bastards like you who want to charge whatever the richest can bear. Just sayin’.

♦

Did you hear about the mock horror expressed at Fox over the rapper Common? Turns out he had some lyrics that Foxy Duh “interpreted” as anti-cop and violent. Course most of that is sheer nonsense. What was best was Jon  Stewart’s smack down of Sean Hannity. Go to the Daily Show and look up the video from I think Wednesday.  Hannity had decried Common, and of course implied that his invite to the White House to read his poetry is really cuz the President and the First Ladies, are violent gangsters themselves. Which is what Hannity wants you to believe about all black folk.

Stewart showed with video that Hannity would defend the president against vicious attacks, should there be any. Turns out there was. Ted Nugent made some pretty nasty remarks of violence against the President and Hannity publicly said that Nugent was his friend and he would not condemn his violent remarks.

Yeah Sean, you pathetic excuse for a human being.

By the by, if you didn’t see Stewart’s rap smack down, you really should. He simply skewers Foxy. It’s classic.

♦

For those of you in need of a Sarah fix, I understand that there is a fun hash tag on Twitter called: #palinrapfacts. Have fun with that.

♦

One of the funniest little asides I read over at the Blaze the other day was this, and I do paraphrase:

“What’s all this crap about the beautification of Pope John Paul II I keep hearing about? Could somebody explain why he needs prettying up? “

Um that would be beatification dear, not beautification. And try a dictionary. I suspect you haven’t spent time with one of those in many a year.

♦

Ya gotta watch the slime balls at all times, cuz they will slip by when no one is looking. Maybe you heard that the Koch bro’s have endowed a couple of chairs at Florida State University. Yeah, well wealthy people do that all the time. Except this time there are strings, which amount to the Koch’s buying a way into teaching a type of economics that favors the rich and their way of doing business. Read it and weep, and send your kids elsewhere.

♦

Now get out there and make a day of it.

 

Related articles

• Jon Stewart’s Epic Takedown Of Fox News For Pushing Rapper Common’s W.H. ‘Controversy’ (mediaite.com)
• Rand Paul equates Universal Health Care with slavery… (underthelobsterscope.wordpress.com)
• The Daily Show On Common & The White House (dayandadream.com)
• CLASSIC Jon Stewart Rap Rips Fox News For The Common Controversy (businessinsider.com)