I’m Mrs. Johnny Depp!

Tags

conservativism, cosmology, Election 2012, Entertainment, evolution, Humor, intellectuals, Johnny Depp, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, morality, NAACP, racism, Recipes, Rick Perry, wacko right wing

Oh, yes I am!

And I can prove it. More or less.

It seems that a respectable number of experimental and theoretical physicists believe that there are multiple universes. Not only that, but that there may be an infinite number of them, all of which means, that any thing that can happen, has.

Well, one thing that can happen (I know it might be a stretch but we are talking about statistical probabilities here) is that Mr. Sexy pants could fall in love with me.

Therefore, some where he has. Proved!

That also means that there is an infinite number of me’s. One of me lives in Hawaii in a gorgeous beach house. One of me is President of the US of A, or the United Planetary Association of Andromeda. The options are as they say infinite.

The Contrarian was a bit off-put by this revelation, until I reminded him that somewhere he was married to Halle Berry. That brought a grin.

The Contrarian has some “issues” with the theoretical physicists in the end though. He’s not much in favor of a time “before” time. I myself have no difficult with that concept. However we both noticed that these guys and gals do have a pretty cushy job. I mean they sit in a comfortable office, with a chalk or white board and doodle with numbers and squiggles, and then travel to nice places and sit and “think”. Often at beaches, mountain ranges, and other pleasant places.

It’s not like they ever have to prove anything. As the Rethuglians always say about anything they don’t want to help pay for: “it’s only a theory.”

Best of all, I can theorize about Johnny Depp all I want, cuz who’s to say that he doesn’t figure into some time warpy travel theory? I mean, being a theoretical physicist is so highfalutin’ that nobody can reasonably challenge my claims right? Only others of my kind. And after all, we have a mutual desire not to upset any of our apple carts.

So, I’m applying for my grant money, and hope to set up shop any day now.

♦

Hope you all had a nice labor day. Out of work laborers most assuredly did not I guess. We had a T-Bone, potato salad and some jalapeño poppers. The latter two recipes can be found at What’s on the Stove, which has it’s only little link on the side bar now.

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Ricky “Gosh darn this is fun” Perry is what they call “surging” in the polls. Somebody finally tapped the shyster on the shoulder and told him to act “gubernatorial” and high tail it back to TEXAS where people are losing their homes at an astounding rate due to unchecked wildfires. He’s properly “concerned” now.

Meanwhile Mitt “it’s slipping away” Romney is starting to show the wear and tear of being rejected but once again. Mr. Perpetual Runner whom nobody really likes, stares ever wide-eyed at the audience he addresses, and for all it’s worth you can hear under his breath: “can you morons understand these simple sentences?”

Yeah, actually they can Mitt, and well, they really don’t like you. Can you understand that?

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Noam Chomsky writes a very interesting and provocative piece in the Boston Review about the role of the intellectual in today’s murky moral world. He is prompted by the questionable action of murdering Osama Bin Laden and dumping his body at sea without trial.

It’s a most serious read, but one that will benefit you. We seldom spend the time we should thinking of the hard issues.

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Michele “damn you Ricky” Bachmann is shakin’ up the team. Ed Rollins is out due to “health” reasons as well as the deputy David Polyansky.

This kinda crap is usual in a campaign going down the crapper. But Michele, it ain’t gonna help. You are simply TeaNutz® lite compared to Ricky “I’m more nutz” Perry.

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DCMartin gives us a good old slappin’ story about racism reaction gone amuck. And she has designated herself as the “official spokesperson” for Black America, which sure makes it easy on me. 😛

Go give it a read. She’s very funny and actually makes a fine point as well. Don’t ever Pass the Doucheys. . .”

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I was prompted to visit a site I’ve only briefly looked at. Conservapedia. It’s the “trustworthy” encyclopedia. Isn’t that just wrong on its face? How can something that purports to be “conservative” by “trustworthy”? It’s clearly not giving truth, but a point of view.

My favorite quote from the front page is from Isaiah Berlin:

“Good government in a free society keeps positive and negative liberty in balance. These two forms of liberty are out-of-balance today.”

Now that is interesting isn’t it? I betcha some wacko TeaNutz® would have some interesting ideas of what “negative liberty” are. 

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From “Constant Comment”

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Hey, have you ever seen Wilfred? You should. It’s hysterical at times, frightening occasionally. It’s an import from Australia. It is not for the faint of heart. It is not for mortifiable-prone evangelicals. It’s about a dog named Wilfred, who appears as a human in a dog suit to a neighbor. Wilfred teaches lessons, and humps stuffed animals, and smokes pot by the pail full.

I thought it would be stupid. But it’s shocking, and funny at the same time. Try to find it on your TV dial. Oh crap, that dated me. TV’s don’t have dials any more.

Laters gators!

 

 

Rushing to the Abyss

Tags

American people, fundamentalism, government, History, intellectuals, Obama, obesity, social concerns

If you regularly peruse a number of blogs, or heaven forbid, watch any of the mainstream media, then you are filled to the gills with explanations of the debacle in the Haaaabor. That’s Massachusetts talk.

There are parodies of all sorts, jugular distorting cries for  revenge, and all manner of “analysis” guaranteed to ‘splain it all to ya.

I think Jon Stewart came closest when he parodied Obama’s interview with George Steph. Fundamentally, the wonder Messiah misunderstood the Merikan folk.

Yes, even those of us who are relatively well educated, of sound mind and having souls, were duped into thinking that the great Obama had the magic to actually accomplish what we knew we all needed. We believed. Oh most of us knew it would not be as easy as we hoped, but we believed it would happen. Now? oh, we have regained our senses such as they were and are.

Talk logically with adult words? This was thought to be such a novel idea that surely it would work. America did not build the greatest house since the one Ruth built with nothing. We must have some basic innate intelligence, while rusted shut by years of neglect, would awaken to the melodious tones of one Barack H. Obama.  We would hear the logic, we would understand the progression of  if this then that. And we would “do the right thing.” And if there were those who had some vested interest in not doing it, well we would shame/threaten/make fun of, all those too.

But no, we were too optimistic, naive?, or just plain not evil enough to see the truth. Merika is NOT logical, intelligent, or even particularly good. It has been corrupted to a degree that may not be recoverable. We, I admit, give like there is no tomorrow in times of tragedy, but that seems to be our salve to our “faith” and then it”s back to lookin’ out for number uno.

Let me enumerate a few “facts.”

• We watch television shows like “Ax Men” and “Ice Road Truckers”.
• We spend most of our disposable income on big screen tv’s to watch this swill on, along with game systems and games.
• We try to exercise by playing virtual tennis in our living room.
• Close to half the country doesn’t believe in science, unless it be the microwave, said big screen HD tv, or computers, cars, ad nauseum other devices. Nearly half of us believe in creationism and a flat earth.
• The average person cannot correctly name the three branches of government.
• We hold with regularity opinions that are directly contradictory to others. Case in point, the teabagger who said “no bank bailouts” and then said “support free markets”. Do you need be Einstein to see the contradiction?
• People actually vote for a candidate based on who would be the best bud at the bar with ya. Sharing a beer is the best way to evaluate a president, doncha know?
• Most citizens can’t pass the test given to new prospective citizens.
• We murder people in the name of “justice” and don’t consider it “cruel and unusual.”
• We give corporations citizenship “personhood” while we don’t (not that I disagree on this) give it to biological embryos who become human beings.
• I get more hits on my blog for inserting the names of Johnny Depp or Adam Lambert into it than all the discussions I have regarding health care, evolution, and poverty combined.
• Fully 1/3 of our youth are obese and given to sedentary pursuits. We are falling far behind in math and science so they can’t be reading science books.
• We are the most powerful military machine yet assembled, yet we are far behind most of the civilized nations in infant mortality, and services granted automatically to citizenry by their government. Meaning health care, housing, education, and the like.
• We are the most self-reporting “religious” people, yet we house the world’s largest array of prisoners, execute them with regularity, love our guns, are homophobic, sexist, and ethnically racist to extreme levels.
• We to a great degree hate intellectuals largely because we are both jealous and don’t understand the big words.
• We have the attention span of gnats, and demand constant “feeding” lest we shuck it all and go off following the next feel good guru whose name might be Palin, or Hannity.
• We have a perverted sense of history, gleaned from a lousy primary education which was intended to support our imperialism and keep us as good lambs with “proper patriotism” and basically law abiding proclivities. We are not supposed to “rock the boat.”
• We suck at the public teat of big business by being the world’s best consumers all the while being gleefully raped by said corporations. A perfect symbiosis of must have product coupled with bull crap rhetoric is eaten up with the chicken wings at a good NASCAR event.

In other words, we reap what we sow, we get what we deserve, we are being called upon to pay the piper. It’s enough to make a sane person insane.

So, my suggestion to Obama. Stop with the adult talk. You gotta get down brother and preach to the masses who are holding a taco in one hand, while wiping the grease from their mouth on their sleeve. Analogize to Jack Bauer, they will GET that. Talk about Jesse James, they will relate. Talk about the sweet joy of drawing a bead on that soft spot behind the shoulder of that buck innocently munching your corn drop while you sit warm and cozy in your blind with the high powered scope aching to be utilized. (Leave the carcass, just take the antler rack for show–it will look mighty fine to the boys on the wall of the “family room.”)

I know you can do it Obama. Just dumb it down. Then we can maybe get it.