Hey ho, Ralphie, come on. Take a load off. Oh just throw that hot water bottle over there on that pile of newspapers. I took a little spill yesterday and landed on my hip. Damn kids in this park. You know as soon as you see them pull in with those trailers with wheels, they are no good lazy. Got them a passel of kids that sleep stacked up like sardines, and one of the little hoodlums left a bike on my lawn. I tripped over it coming home last night from Lou’s. I had a few beers, but that damn bike shoulda never been there. A double wide, now that’s a whole ‘nother class of people.
Anyway, Thelma called, and said that those Israelis were messin’ with the bible. I know we gotta support them and all, cuz of God,and end times and all, but a man’s gotta take a stand ya know?
Thelma is bringin’ Gert, and Jack is comin’ by with Arnie. Beer in the fridge, help yourself. Thelma is bringin’ something to eat. That woman can’t drink without stuffin’ her jaw, if you know what I mean. She broke my only kitchen chair last week with that wide rear of hers. And then Jack plugged up the terlit, but that’s another story, so don’t get me started.
Anyways, the Jews over there got them some computer “soft” ware that somehow, so they claim, can tell ya who wrote what. Says that it verifies pretty much what them elite “intellect-u-als” claim. You know those atheist God-haters and their crap that the bible, God forbid, was written by men. Well Thelma thought we should talk it out and decide about what to do, though I can’t figure out what we can do.
Anyway, I copied out some of the comments from the fine commenters over at the Blaze, to see if they had any ideas. You might want to look it over.
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 9:37am
The Bible is real from Old to New testament; (sic) you can’t have one without the other. Christ is the Saviour (sic) of the world and we are shut up to the cross to make a decision for or against Him. Ah the simplicity of belief and faith.
Troninthemorning: It’s nice to remain in utter ignorance isn’t it? So simple and easy. Just shut the old brain case and swim in stupid.
- hauschild
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 9:47am
I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time and money. I wonder how much this one cost the taxpayer in grant monies???
Houschild: it helps if you read the article first dude. Why do you care what the Israeli taxpayers laid out?
- Bearfoot
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:18am
All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be fully competent, completely equipped for every good work. – 2 Timothy 3:16
Bearfoot: okay, so what has that got to do with the price of beans? And dude, the actual text says , “all scripture that is inspired” and don’t forget, that didn’t include the NT which hadn’t been gathered together yet. Full steam ahead.
- Anonymous T. Irrelevant
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:40am
I wonder what they‘d find if they ran it on all of Obama’s books?
Anonymous T. Irrelevant: I wonder what they would find if they ran it on your brain? Or any of your books? Oh I bet there aren’t any are there?
- Joseph28
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 9:44am
Anything beyond the old testament and the teachings of Jesus is just speculation amongst these scholars.
Joseph28: funny, they say the same thing about your intelligence. Pure speculation.
- hi
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:48am
It’s pretty amazing how the Bible was written hundreds of years, but it has a beginning and an end and all of the middle fits together.
Also, 3/4 of the Bible is prophecy and Christ fulfilled 300 specific things written about him 500 years earlier.
Fulfilled prophecy is evidence of divine intervention. Man cannot predicted 300 specific things someone is going to do 500 years from now.
Hi: The bible wasn’t written “hundreds of years” sweetie, and funny, but humans have the ability to place books in order. You’d be shocked that the Jewish Scriptures (Old Testament to you) are in a different order. I prophesy that you are nuts. Let’s see how I come out on that in 500 years.
- NOBALONEY
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 9:51am
God spoke to the writters, and they listened.
Nobalony: was that critters? What proof you got there that they listened? Oh the words themselves? Is that circular reasoning? Do you know what circular reasoning is?
- affinnity
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:13am
Let me see if I understand this – Israel needs Christian American dollars and moral support to continue to exist so they spend time and money inventing software that tells Christians that their entire faith is based on a fake book (the Bible). Why?
Affinity: now I’d say they are pretty darn smart wouldn’t you? Kind of like the Koch brothers, but on a larger scale. And who said anything about fake? Who first said it was the “word of God” tootsie?
- Country
Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:49am
Christians do not stone thier children. Shellfish is a food law because it is bad for our bodies. Just think, if we obeyed the food laws we would not have obamacare. 😉
Country: But some children still get stoned, and yeah, we’d all live to be 500 if we just didn’t eat shellfish. And pork, you must include pork. Satan sent us pork way back when, just to get the Affordable Health Care Act. You are a moron Country, seek help.
And so my dear friends, if you woke up feeling a bit on the dumb side, cheer up, you are way smarter than these folks. In fact, you might qualify as super human by comparison.
Existential Ennui 