Existential Ennui

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Existential Ennui

Tag Archives: Eric Cantor

Eric, My Dude, Wha’ Happened to Ya?

13 Friday Jun 2014

Posted by Sherry in Crap I Didn't Learn, Crap I Learned, Dinosaurs, Environment, Humor, Iraq, John McCain, Satire, teabaggers, Zoology

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Eric Cantor, GOP, John McCain, men with no brains, stupid party, teabaggers, when old men need to lie down

Cantor-0bcf9-4269 Frank Luntz really got one thing right. “The GOP is lousy when it comes to doing polling.”

By all accounts, Eric was blindsided by his rather convincing loss to a third-rate “economist” called Brat. He dinna see it cummin’ as they say.

As all politicians do, they manage to put on a thin smile as they stumble to the podium to admit their loss and congratulate the nobody who was somehow good enough.

The punditry is all awash in ‘splainin’ how this happened.

Some say it was his flirt with immigration reform. Other’s his watering down of a bill that would have but a stop to insider trading by congress people, who are as you know, so danged overworked and unpaid that it’s only fair that they should be able to do what nobody else can do without going to jail.

Some say Eric was just a total shit, arrogant and dismissive, failing to act, ya know, like one of his constituents, on those “hanging out  in the district” times. He was in a word, (words actually) full to the brim with the sweet smell of his own poo.

He will likely be replaced by an even more odious (ideologically speaking) commodity, the Brat guy. Who is some sort of economist, but apparently not much of one, who when asked what his position was on minimum wage increases, said he hadn’t had time to work out a “fully crafted statement” on that yet, or some such bullshit. What freakin’ economist doesn’t have a thought on a subject that, ya know, DEALS WITH ECONOMICS?

But I guess one shouldn’t wonder since his economic philosophy seems to be “Brat believes in free-markets as run by some curious amalgam of Presbyterian theology and Ayn Rand’s economic sociopathy.” If that don’t make your head spin I don’t know what will. The atheist Rand married to a dude who claims that his win was a “miracle from God”. I can’t wait to see how it pulls that off.

It is however, most comforting to know that there are plenty of GOP tenderfeet waiting in the wings for their chance on the national stage.

As well as some old has beens who are still trying to be relevant to something that passes for significance in this political world.

johnmccainshocked

Enter one John S. McCain. A meme last week on Facebook asked commentors to sum up Johnny in three words. My favorites were “still not relevant”, “still not President”, and “Sarah Palin, seriously?”. Fresh off his flopping like a dead flounder all over the Bergdahl mess, he ‘s moved on to utter more stale bullshit to an increasingly deaf audience.

You may not have heard, but Iraq is being overrun at the moment with Al Qaida–you know–the crazies who came into Iraq when George W, following orders from Cheney and Rummy, decided to invade it, because they wanted to? That war. The war that we sorta fought to a tie, which gave us our escape window? And we escaped. And like everyone on the planet knew that chaos (or more chaos I should say) would ensue until the damn country became a bloodbath? And a few hundred people have died in that country every month, but Syria was worse, so we didn’t notice? Until the deaths started being several hundred a week? Now ya remember?

Yeah, well, now Johnny, setting aside his blatant memory loss, has declared that we won that war, (more specifically George did after following John’s instructions), and now Obama has gone and lost it, and his entire group of foreign security advisors should be fired, and replaced by the old crew from George’s tenure, and hell, while you’re at it, let George take over, cuz God we all felt so much better and more secure when he was at the button. Such is the way John sees things, or forgets things.

MillerMeet Jeff Miller, (R-FL).

Look carefully since Jeff, is a zombie. Not walking dead, but walking brain-dead. He is shown holding on to his head, for it would float off to the ceiling if he didn’t. It’s full of nothing but helium.

Florida, as you may know, if one of those areas of the country that will soon lose half its sovereign soil when the oceans rise due to climate change. It is of some minor concern to its residents not all of whom are ready to trade their land based homes for boats.

So in their brilliance, they, in part at least, elect this fool.

Jeff, make no bones about it, is a fool, in CAPITAL LETTERS.

Frank has that wonderful ability to hold lots of facts in his empty brain that are in utter conflict.

First, Frank says that scientists are not agreed about who is causing this particular climate change. That’s not true, of course, for they are, to a degree of more than 97%; the rest being dismissed as owned and paid for by Koch brother enterprises and others in the fossil fuel industry.

Frank chooses to side with the paid-for deniers, and of course reminds us that “the climate is always changing”, as indeed it is. The planet we call home has, over billions of years, undergone plenty of change, most of it taking millions of years to build up. No doubt Frank doesn’t believe this because he must stay on the good side of the funny-gelicals who don’t believe the earth is more than 6,000 +/= a few hundred years old. But, for purposes of this argument I guess he believes that climates change over time.

His proof? Oh the dinosaurs. How in the heck could the dinosaurs have been axed if climate change wasn’t a “natural thing”. After all, he says, man wasn’t there (oh no screams Ken Ham–he’s an atheist!), and they weren’t driving around cars and such.

So the fact that the dinosaurs disappeared means that climate change isn’t man made. (Get the ropes and pinions, that jump across that chasm of logic is mighty wide!)

What Jeff doesn’t have a clue about is that the climate was rolling merrily along in old dinosaur land, when a comet or asteroid hit the planet and threw up so much dust and dirt, that the climate changed massively in a very short time (hint, hint like today’s human activities), and produced an unlivable situation for the dinos quickly. (purists note that this is the Alvarez theory to which I generally adhere or the catastrophic extraterrestrial theory. There are other serious theories which we aren’t going to get into here, suffice it that it has no effect on the argument.)

In other words, there is climate change which is normal and then there is that which is abnormal. What is happening to the earth today is abnormal, proceeding much too rapidly, and is demonstrably man-made.

The point is, there is no connection between the dinosaurs and the reality of man-made climate change. Never was, never will be.

And so we end, “Your week in GOP shenanigans and really stupid stuff.”

 

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What This World Needs is a Good Shirley Temple

12 Wednesday Oct 2011

Posted by Sherry in Bible, Budget, Church/State, Corporate America, Economy, Environment, Humor, Media, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry, Satire, teabaggers, The Wackos, What's Up?

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

"Mittens" Romney, Barney Frank, Constitution, corporate America, economy, environment, Eric Cantor, Humor, Judeo-Christianity, Newt Gingrich, Occupy Wall Street, wacko media

Hey it worked in the 30’s. Or so they tell me. I have no personal knowledge. I’m not that old. I refer to those old reels of celluloid to inform me.

Back in the 30’s this country, like today, was reeling from pessimism. The economy sucked and people had lost faith. So, those great minds in the country told Hollywood to get on board, and make lots of feel-good movies.

And they did. And Shirley saved America.  We just need another Shirley is all. Simple.

♦

Having saved the world before noon, let us move on. Did you know that back in the 20’s and 30’s that corporate Amerika fought Child Labor laws tooth and nail? Did you know that the first act passed by Congress, the Keating-Owens Act, was struck down by the US Supreme Court as a constitutional infringement on a child’s right to contract his or her own labor?

Do rational people believe that anything has changed in Corporacracy? The GOP continues to blame the economic woes of the country on “regulation” of business by Democrats. They assure us that our Corporate benefactors will “do the right” thing when it comes to safe working conditions, safe products, and otherwise fair business practices.

How low does your IQ have to be to believe that? Does anyone remember the company town? Does anyone remember the Triangle Shirtwaist fire? Does anyone remember GM strikers being attacked and beaten by corporate goons?

Yeah, I sure believe that the Koch brothers are lookin’ out for me. Sure I do.

♦

Just how clearly does our Constitution follow the commandments of the Christian faith? Beeryblog has a post you better darn read if you want to know. It’s an eye-opener.

♦

Don’t know if you heard or not, but Gingrich called for the arrest, trial and imprisonment of Barney Frank and Chris Dodd as the ” real perpetrators” of the economic collapse in this country. When the moderators suggested that that was said tongue-in-cheek- surely, Newt the Toot, doubled down and assured everyone that he meant every word of it.

Barney Frank responded with this:

“I wish I knew that he was willing to listen to my advice, I would have given him some: I would have told him not to impeach Clinton, I would have told his successors not to go to war with Iraq, and I would have told DeLay not to go on the dance show. He’s been having a bad year, you know — this self-styled intellectual leader of the free world struggling to stay ahead of Michele Bachmann in the polls is unsettling him so he talks even sillier than he sometimes does.”

H/T to Joe.My.God

♦

The nutz on the right continue to not know what the willies to do about the Occupy Wall Street phenom. Eric (everybody’s nerdish little brother) Cantor has gone from calling them “mobs” to folks who are folks who are “justifiably frustrated.” Read how Cantor tries to backtrack and still manage to tell everyone how different this group is from his beloved (let me kiss your feet) TeaNutz®.

As the movement grows across the country, the GOP is rethinking its initial condemnation of “all those dirty hippies” and “anarchists” who are out to “divide our country” and “pit Americans against Americans”. It’s a fun thing to watch I gotta admit.

And Herm, I would be guessin’, ain’t going anywhere near the “mobs” with his “stop whining and get a job” routine.

♦

If you need another primer on the economy, Robert Reich has that for you in seven lies about the economy that are being pushed by the Right. 

♦

A couple of nice finds at Political Irony. The first is a Democratic website where you can go and watch Mitt (somebody called me Mittens and I thought that was cute) Romney flippin’ and floppin’ on a huge number of issues. All out of his own mouth. Go here for that.

Or go here for late night humor.

♦

There’s two guys chasing after one brain-cell award: Beck interviewing Hank Williams Jr. on his being fired from ESPN for being just plain too stupid to exist. Of course you get that Blaze, so no link is required. You would not want to read it after all.

♦

Did you know that erasers have magical properties? Well they do. Whatever they erase, ceases to exist. At least on planet TEX-ASS. You see, for years TEXAS has contracted with Houston Advanced Research Center to report on the state of Galveston Bay. And they did so this year. And the water levels are rising, and the scientists said it was important proof of climate change and human causation.

References to the rising water and projections of future rising were simply erased by Rick’s boys and girls who don’t care for that kinda stuff. It’s all a left-wing hoax didn’t ya know?

♦

I’m living in a land somewhere west of Andromeda this day. I awoke to a husband who out-of-the-blue and for no-definable-reason, offered to cook dinner. I had a roast out defrosting and he said, “save it until tomorrow, I’ll go down and get the liver and fix that. I know you don’t like to cook liver.”

I immediately began looking around for MY husband. But I’m thinkin’ I may keep this imposter around, at least until after that liver is cooked. I do love me some liver ‘n onions on occasion.

 

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And They Don’t Even Know They are Crazy

31 Wednesday Aug 2011

Posted by Sherry in Budget, Economy, Energy, Environment, fundamentalism, Humor, Individual Rights, Islamophobia, Michelle Backmann, Muslim, Satire, teabaggers, What's Up?

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

Bryan Fischer, budget, economy, environment, Eric Cantor, global warming, Individual Rights, Islamophobia, Michele Bachmann, teabaggers

Imagine what THAT must be like? Being crazy as the proverbial loon, and having nary a clue.

I feel, in the name of good consciousness, I should have to tell ’em. I really do. It’s a moral thing. A person has a right to know they are not playing with a full deck.

Case in point.

Bryan Fischer, that homophobic/Islamophobic, all around provider of hate. He’s crazy. Batshit, Wonka, nutzo, drooling and showing us his nasty privates kinda crazy.

You don’t believe me?

Well, okay, I’ll prove it to ya.

In his radio broadcast of only yesterday, picklebrain Bryan talked about a Pew poll that said that half of all Muslims think of themselves as Muslim first and Americans second. Being no dummy in his empty skull, he fully admitted that Christians pretty much do the same thing, think of themselves as Christian first and Americans second.

Okay.

But when you are crazy as a 42-year-old male in Louisiana claiming that he is Napoleon Bonaparte returned from the dead, well then that gets interpreted this way:

 It’s not a problem when a Christian says that. For the Christian to say “I am a Christian first and an American second,” that’s what we all ought to say. Our ultimate allegiance is not to country, not to the Constitution, it’s to God and the Scripture. If you have to make a choice between the two, we must obey God rather than man.

But when a Christian says “I’m a Christian first and an American second,” the fact that he is a Christian first, he’s got devotion and allegiance to Jesus Christ means he’s going to be a better American. He’s going to be an asset to his country, he’s going to love his country, he’s going to become more fervent in his patriotism. His love for his country and for its traditions are going to deepen because those traditions are rooted in the soil of the Judeo-Christian tradition.

Now if you have a Muslim, on the other hand, that says that – “I am a Muslim first and an American second” – look out! Because that indicates his ultimate devotion is to the Quran, it’s to Allah, it’s to Muhammad. It’s not to Jesus Christ, it’s not to the Judeo-Christian tradition, it is not to American values and American tradition and American history and American heroes – it is to Allah and Allah tells him to slay the idolaters wherever you find them.

So the more devout a Muslim gets, the more of a threat he becomes to America’s national security.

 And that dear friends, qualifies Mr. Fischer as being crazier than 95% of the patients in Bellevue.

♦

Case in point 2:

In 2004, Eric Cantor asked for federal funds to help his hurricane ravaged state. Some time after than, Eric (I am more important than John) Cantor, forget what little he ever knew. Sharing the common TeaNutz® drool cup, Eric the crazy CANNOT sing that tune in 2011. So it comes out, we want aid, if we can offset it with cutting something somewhere.

Cantor you can’t become Speaker that way. I think your constituency is already lookin’ about for a new representative. You’re not playing with even half a deck there Eric the Cant.

♦

Case in point 3:

Michele Bachmann. Oh hell, why bother. She’s too obvious, and let it not be said that I have no compassion for the crazy among us. It was God. . .No it was only a joke. . .No it was God. I’m lying, or I’m not.

♦

Case in point 4:

The TeaNutz®. They are most all of ’em crazy as seals at a polar bear party. I mean it. And if you don’t believe me on that one, than please go read wearerespectablenegroes interview with “Whiteness.”

It will all sound so eerily familiar to ya. And you will whisper for the men in white jackets with the funny jacket that has the strings attached to the sleeves, and the refrain, “they’re coming to take me away haha, heehee, ho-ho. . .”

♦

Case in point 5:

There is a squirrelly fellow by the name of Dr. E. Calvin Beisner, and he runs a “Christian environmental think tank”. Read anti-global warming. He claims that the folks protesting at the White House against the Canadian pipeline are “violating scripture” and are just publicity seekers.

How so you ask?

Why, scripture is quite clear:

“They profess to believe the Bible,” he points out. “Well, the Bible tells them that they’re supposed to obey the governing authorities unless those governing authorities either require them to do what God forbids or forbids them to do what God requires — and that has not happened. So they are actually disobeying scripture by doing this.”

Sumpin’ tells me that old Cal wouldn’t be singing that tune when it comes to go old “American” teabagger protestin’ now would he?

♦

And Case in Point, 6 and last but never the least of the crazies:

The US Congress, except for a few Dems here and there:

From Joe.My.God.

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Speaking of the Debt Ceiling Crisis. . .

14 Thursday Jul 2011

Posted by Sherry in Budget, Economy, Editorials, Essays, GOP, Hall of Shame, John Boehner, Michelle Backmann, Steven King, teabaggers

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

budget, debt ceiling, economy, Eric Cantor, GOP, hall of shame, Louis Gohmert, Michele Bachmann, political hacks, Steve King, teabaggers

Well, it’s been an interesting time of it since Mitch “the Turtle” McConnell offered up his “we wash our hands of this mess” alternative to a deal on the debt ceiling.

The hard right is wailing, and the usual bunch of nuts are pushing each other off the microphone, eager to spew their own idiocy before an increasingly irritated public.

Boehner lost his swagger as Speaker, and now stands mute and castrated behind boy wonder and all-around poop, Eric Cantor. Eric has seen that his only real path to the Speakership is over the dead body of Boehner and as champion of the TeaPeople, sliced and diced to anyone who would listen at the last White House meeting.

Finally President Obama reminded the little shit just who was President.

Now, people who only play the part of a journalist (moi) have been increasingly angry with the President over his handling of this budget deal. I’ve been fearful that he was giving away too much, especially as it relates to Medicare and Social Security. These are things I have paid my dues into and as I approach 62, they are becoming increasingly dear to my heart. Yet once again, as the Contrarian says, Obama proves to be playing chess against opponents who are playing checkers.

One blogger was wont to say that Obama and his team are either political geniuses, or the luckiest sons-a-gun on earth. They managed to say the right words, the GOP took the bait, and now they are firmly in a corner from which they cannot extricate themselves.

You gotta conclude that the President and the Democrats are in full control now when you see who is screeching from the right. Eric Cantor of course is now front and center. Trouble is, everyone knows he and Boehner don’t exactly get along, and everyone knows Eric wants Boehner’s job. So his credibility is like in negative numbers when it comes to trusting his motives in all this.

Next we find Sarah “do you still love me?” Palin. The Palinator, whose understanding of economics should fill up the label of a Valium vial, weighed in, explaining to Sean “the finger” Hannity, that Obama is holding the “full faith and credit” of the US of A hostage. Course she has not a clue of what she just said in that, having no concept of what the phrase full faith and credit means.

In words that send a thrill up the nether regions of her minions, the TeaPeople, she advised GOP leadership to “not retreat, but reload.” Trying desperately to recapture her fading relevance, Wasilla Woman mewed that she didn’t even under stand Mitch’s latest capitulatory offer. (No surprise there.) In addition, she opined that she didn’t “necessarily believe” that a default on August 2 would be catastrophic for the country. What she does “necessarily believe” was, of course, not forthcoming.

Meanwhile, the Larry, Moe and Curlycue show was going on elsewhere. If you can imagine a more hilarious threesome than Louis (Gomer without the brains) Gohmert, Steven (I have 732 anti-Obamacare bills pending) King, and Michele (pray the gay away) Bachmann, well I’m not sure who they would be.

These buffoons introduced a bill that would require (if anybody bothers to read their crayon on construction paper bill) that armed-service personnel be paid first if we go into default. All for show of course. Again, Michele also exited reality and said the President was “holding the full faith and credit of the US hostage”.

 She continues to claim that the President is lying about any catastrophe. Showing her math skills, she explains that although our obligations per month total over 300 billion, and our revenue is only about 125 billion, we “can pay all our bills from revenue.”

Steve King (of clowns) went on Chris Matthews and ‘splained that he gets his knowledge that there is no default problem from “the American people” and then puffed up and touted his own “independent judgment.” Chris pressed on, and King graciously added, his expertise on all matters economic came from “a long experience of dealing politically, and in business, and raising a family, and being an American citizen…”

Being suitably impressed with that Chris asked if King Dong read the Wall Street Journal or the NYTimes? King said, he did occasionally, but  “I don’t trust the words of any source.”

Steve, who vies next month against an orangutan named Nelly, for the world stupidity championship, was asked finally whether he could name one international expert who agreed with him. Steve, swelled up with superiority, and crowed, “this is not an international problem, it’s an American one!”

Louis (Larry Stooge) mostly stood in the background trying to decide when all this money talk was done what he would have for lunch. (American cheese on my burger or Swiss? Ahh, American, it looks much more patriotic).

Mr. Gohmert (Gomer Pyle without the voice), cautioned Mr. Boehner not to listen to that Obamer fella, and then mumbled, “just copy what lovely Michele said, as what I say too.”

That, ladies and gents, is an example of the big guns of intellectual stature batting for the GOP. I mean, they must be so proud.

Meanwhile average Republicans were asked to comment. To a person the same response: “Louis? Sarah? Michele? Steve? I never knew them.  And the cock crowed a third time.

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Can I Have an Extra Day Please, with Sugar?

31 Thursday Mar 2011

Posted by Sherry in Abortion, American History, Astronomy, Budget, Constitution, Evolution, Founding Fathers, God, GOP, History, Human Biology, Humor, Psychology, Reproductive Rights, Satire, teabaggers, What's Up?, Women's issues

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

abortion, brain, budget, cosmology, David Barton, Eric Cantor, evolution, founding fathers, History, medicine, Mike Huckabee, Planned Parenthood, psychology, soul, teabaggers, women's rights

Everybody has those kinda days. When you get up already behind. This is usually the result of “sleeping in”. I’m a 7 am kinda person. I find that a humane time to arise. Some days, I don’t quite make it. Thus, I’m behind.

Tomorrow, I’m shopping, so I’m not sure I’ll get to blogging.

The Contrarian, however, puts his time to good use. He’s a thinker. Remember his desire to hold a thinkathon? Much easier than having a walkathon he thought.

When he thinks too much, well, I usually get concerned. His latest “breakthrough” is a humdinger.

The Contrarian has long pondered the existence of the soul. That has led him to toil in the backyard of the differences between humans and other animals. That place, he contends is where one might locate the seat of our divine connection. With me so far?

The places tred by medical men and women, philosophers, and theologians. What of the soul?

And, as I said, he thinks he has had a breakthrough.

He asks this question:

Is there any other animal but humans who react with distaste to the fart?

I know, its blasphemous. It’s crazy. It’s absurd, illogical, and downright unpretty. It is the Contrarian. Don’t blame me. I’m just reporting the news.

♦

If’n you didn’t know, the right-wing religious are, as you know, against abortions. And they are very against Planned Parenthood, and they devise all manner of nasty things to “prove” that PPH should be shut down. One of their more ingenious methods is to claim that PPH is about the business of genocide of the African-American population. This because statistically more black women obtain abortions than white or Latino.

Now the fact that this has to do with poverty and lack of access to medical information and contraception at the same level as their more wealthy white counterparts is ignored. No, it’s so much easier to suggest that PPH has as an unstated goal, the destruction of an entire people.

I imagine that the NAACP and other African-American groups are so grateful to the white folk for being so concerned for them. Yes, I guess we can all be grateful to those benevolent white people.

♦

Roger Ebert talks about what he understands as the Universe and evolution. It’s a lovely piece. Makes ya feel all warm inside for reasons I cannot explain. Least it do for me.

♦

See, now we know that serendipity is real. I mean, after writing about the Contrarian and his “breakthrough” I come across this article: Natural History of the Soul. Nicholas Humphrey argues that spirituality is essential to consciousness. Read it in The New Humanist. Humphrey is an evolutionary psychologist, and he’s written a book called Soul Dust: The Magic of Consciousness. Looks like a very interesting read.

♦

If there were any question about the agenda of Mikey Huckster, read on. It seems Mikey attended one of those uber right-wing  conferences, one that featured pseudo-historian David Barton and his revisionist history of the founding of this country. Why Mikey was just adoring of said Barton and said the following:

 “I almost wish that there would be, like, a simultaneous telecast, and all Americans would be forced–forced at gunpoint no less–to listen to every David Barton message, and I think our country would be better for it.”

Of course, in the “official” video of the event, the “joke” was scrubbed. And of course, Mikey meant every word, until he realized it wouldn’t play well outside his crazy base.

♦

Good news to report. I don’t have a link, but I’ve heard or read it in so many places that it is obviously true. The teabagger phenom is beginning to wane. Their unfavorables are now above their favorables. Which is all the more amusing since the Prez wannabes are all still dancing like marionettes to the teabagger tune, afraid to pirouette too far from the dark force. 

This is causing all sorts of problems with the budget. Word is that Boehner wants desperately to make a deal rather than shut down the government, but he dare not piss off the wonkettes, who are picketing in Washington, even as we speak. Well, we all knew this would happen didn’t we?

And who might you ask is riding to the rescue? None other than boy wonder Eric Cantor. Cantor has introduced a bill that will be voted on in the House on Friday, entitled, “Government Shutdown Prevention Act.” What it does it tell the Senate to act on the budget bill before the deadline and if it doesn’t the House passed bill will become the law of the land.

Yes, you heard that right. Cantor is simply tearing the Constitution up and making up his own new one. Yes, that’s some pretty strict construction there Mr. Cantor. Uh…do you dance too?

♦

What’s on the Stove? Fajitahs!

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