Wish I’d Said That Thursday

Tags

abortion, contraception, Health care, Hobby Lobby, Women's issues

I truly wish I had said it.

Reblogged from BrainSpank

 

I am a woman. I gave birth. It was painful.  Excruciating.  Agony.  No one knows.  I do.

My child knows no one other purview until it gulps air outside of me. Until it leaves my womb it belongs to me and no one else. No other body, governmental or even judicial matters at all to me.

Not as far as I’m concerned anyway.

I really don’t care what you have to say.

I cannot stand five catholic men in black robes who would decide anything for me or the child in my body.  I loathe you for trying.  Your ignorance.  Your arrogance.  Your hubris.  When the day comes I want to relinquish control of my life, my child’s life, to the likes of you, I’ll let you know.  It will have a big fancy seal.  It will be on parchment.  Sheepskin.  You’ll know.  Champagne and caviar.

Until then, shut the fuck up.

We all know you think it’s your religious privilege.  We all know you think you’re somehow entitled to a voice here.  A heavy legislative hand.  A right.  But you are wrong.  You don’t.  You can’t.  You won’t.  You can’t tell me what contraception to use anymore than you can tell me what to do with my womb.  My body.  You stand there, collecting your filthy lucre from the dirtier angels of our filthiest nature and presume to define sin for me.

Fuck you.

You took a stand on the side of a company that wears its hypocrisy on its goddamn face.  They invest in and make money off of the manufacture of contraceptive products.  They willingly paid for the objectionable products for their employees for years.  Decades.  What changed besides Obamacare?  They say their mission is to prevent abortion but the only net gain from this will be more abortion.

By the way, they say the contraceptive products the won’t pay for kill babies.  Wrong.  Completely wrong.  What they do is prevent fertilization.  No beings.  No babies.  How did we get to a place where the Supreme Court is guilty of science denial while listening to and valuing the opinions of clerics and wizards?

Five Roman Catholic men who wear black robes to work.

In this process you would willingly consign me to a coat hanger.

I am a man and I do not accept this jurisprudence.  It is the antithesis of jurisprudence.

But I am a woman too.

It’s like your whole reason is to make sure it’s born.

After that, it’s nobodies business but mine.  Ironic how you grab responsibility before it’s born and surrender it completely the second after.  How do adult white men entertain the notion that they somehow get to champion the fetus and forgo the child?

Jackasses.

They are the last people.

Then, some sonafabitching congressman comes along to make my last stand.

To pretend to speak for me and all the unborn.

I am a woman and I have given birth and if I begin to understand that delivery might mean my death, I get to decide what to do.  If that child will be born inside out?  My problem.  If that child is born with whatever disability?  My problem.

Not yours.

Fuck off.

The same goes for my contraception.  Sometimes it’s to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. 56% of the women in this country that avail themselves of contraceptive medication have it prescribed to them by doctors for reasons other than preventing pregnancy.  Sometimes it’s to prevent my spending days in bed writhing in the kind of pain that makes botulism or ebola look Fischer Price.  Sometimes it’s to reduce my risk of certain cancers.  Viruses.  You don’t know.  You can’t you bastards.  I am a woman and you are not.

I can no longer countenance five greasy old academic males deciding any of this shit.  It’s none of their business.

None at all.

I am a woman.

I would make each of you pregnant tomorrow morning if I could.

Or, I would visit the menstrual cycle upon each of you if I could.

Then we would see who the women are.

That would be awesome.

Bitches.

I am a man speaking for women.

Drinks for my friends.

It Wasn’t THAT Long Ago. . . .

Tags

abortion, contraception, fundamentalism, GOP, Hobby Lobby, Women's issues

A little history seems in order.

Okay, so before we start, let’s get this straight. This is not an anti-male diatribe, much as you may think it is. There are damn well plenty of stupid women out there who have drunk the kool-aid and think women’s place is in the home, tending the kitchen, children and pets, in that order. The trouble is, the women who tell you that are ANYTHING BUT stay-at-homers themselves and even if they are, they are writing blogs, books, and preachin’ on social media that YOU should not be like them, but rather like the fantasy women they envision–pampered, protected, cared for, and wiper of runny noses all wearing that crisp peter pan-collared cotton frock and perfectly shined respectable two-inch pumps and pushing the vacuum with a free hand.

Whew. . . .

No this is against paternalism and all its ugly underbelly of psychological signals that tell the female gender that they are all they can be just by primping in front of the mirror and making very sure that that eyeliner is on straight and that lipstick is the latest fashion color of the season.

Ya see, I grew up in that tween place, on the cusp, able to see both shores as it were.

Women got the vote in 1920. My mother was born in ’26, so she grew up having it, though I must say, she pretty much used is as far as I can tell, as her husbands explained to her was right and good. But her mother came into her adulthood without it, my grandmother was born in ’01, so it impacted her most. I knew these women for whom the vote was a “new” thing,  but grew up knowing that voting was no different for me than for any guy I knew.

It was not until the 60’s, during the general period of awakening that lots of minorities were going through, least of all white males who were being conscripted to be the fodder in another war, but one this time that seemed to merit no one’s patriotic fervor, that we women began to learn of our own deeper oppression. We began to learn that it was not okay that our bodies were not our own to control, that we were not by “nature” relegated to certain types of jobs, and paid less in others simply because we were women.

We learned that there was much more to do in this journey to equality.

And we secured our right to control our bodies–in other words–to make mistakes just like men do with theirs.

And we worked hard to break through glass ceilings that prevented us from being fighter pilots, (if that’s what we wanted), neurosurgeons, police officers, firefighters,  and corporate CEO’s. And then we discovered that even when we got the jobs we didn’t get the pay, and we began that fight too.

Always with a certain segment of scared men and the women they controlled telling us that we were going against God, country, and well, nature itself.

Always with those who believed that as we gained our power to control our lives, theirs would somehow be diminished. Sharing is a hard lesson to learn.

They argued of course that women would become “just like men”, or worse, punish men in some Amazonian-driven lust for power themselves.

They argued that we would cry during tense negotiations with a Khrushchev and rain down upon America the nuclear holocaust that permeated the Cold War era.

They called us atheistic feminists and the spittle trickled down their chins, catching and rerouting through grizzled stubble, that they wiped away with grubby fingers still clutching ragged signs with misspelled words echoing their hate: Back to the kitchen you sluts!

But while these battles went on quietly across America with thousands of dedicated women, all the clamor died down, and life didn’t change a whole lot. We figured we were still on the journey, but life as we know it hadn’t stopped, and someday we would reach our goal of full integration and equality in America. Most of us thrived in a world that seemed increasingly equal to us.

And then along came the “IMMORAL MINORITY”  waving their bibles, and explaining to middle-aged white men who had failed in the great American dream to be great achievers, that women were the problem and not corporate greed. Women were and always were the problem ever since that bitch picked that apple off that tree and seduced God’s great creation Adam into sinning. Women were the problem.

And as the rich got richer and the poor got poorer and the great middle started to age and find that damn they weren’t much better off than their parents, some thing had to give. Corporate America became adept at focusing the blame on minorities, takers all. Suddenly, feminism became a dirty word again. Our enemies are mostly aging white men who feel left behind (damn that Rapture, where are you?). The feel and it’s certainly palpable at this point, emasculated by articulate, educated women.

Ask me about it. I belong to a forum of my old high school, and my wars always end up being against these male types (one of which actually said that he ended up calling me names because “I drove him to it.”), and women who believe that women were created to serve me according to their fine uneducated reading of certain pseudo-Pauline texts.  And invariably they block me, so I can read the their comments and they don’t have to respond to mine. Except that there are men on the forum who are just as liberal as I am, just as knowledgeable, and just as “in-your-face”, and they don’t get blocked. Why? Because men can argue with men, but women must be very careful to be properly respectful lest they be branded as “stupid” and “a troll” and “self-defined intellectual”. (I was once told that educated people were “pissants” all, by one tiny-penised patriarchal dope.)

So along comes Hobby Lobby and it’s claim that its corporate religiosity is being assaulted by requiring it “pay” for certain contraceptive methods it in its utter stupidity deems abortifacients, and the Feds have no right to make them offer same to their employees. There is so much wrong here that it’s sick. First, HL provided all these methods before they were picked as the “plaintiff” and then told, “damn, guys, you offer this stuff already!” Hobby Lobby owner Green claims “shit, I have no idea”. Hobby Lobby gets I would guess 80% of its inventory from China, a nation that makes abortion a national policy and until recently required it after one child. Hobby Lobby has a 401K retirement benefits package which includes owning shares of various big pharma companies which, you guessed it, manufacture all the abortifacients that HL moans about.

So the SCROTUS decided that corporate religious well-being trumps women’s rights to good health. Along with that, they decided that there can be no buffer zone between women trying to enter clinics that offer contraceptive care along with abortions and those who want to scream at them demanding that they “think again”.  Women seeking treatment at a PPH clinic must be within “spittin’ distance” of those who seek to turn them away.

Across America, Republican led legislatures make it hard if not impossible for poor women to get reproductive care of any kind by loading down clinics with regulations (aren’t Republicans against business regulation as a matter of principle?) that are so burdensome that they have to close.

And all this in the name of NOT ABORTING. When all of these restrictions do exactly the opposite.

Republicans in Congress vote down equal pay for women.

There is a line.

It has now been crossed.

We will not go back.

Vote in 2014 as if you life depends on it, because control of it is surely at stake.

 

 

 

 

Yes, It’s True, We’re Marching to Pretoria

Tags

contraception, economy, Election 2012, evolution, grand bargain, Iowa, John Boehner, Johnny Depp, Mitt Romney, science, Women's issues

It’s all for one and one for all. . . .

NO?

Oh.

Willard thinks we should all just get along now.

Newt says that this proves that Ragin’ Rick ain’t got the cajones and should step aside and let a real man wade into the Mitty waters.

Ron Paul has gone to sleep.

Ragin’ Rick says, “on to Pretoria . . .err, I mean Louisiana–you must stop that ghetto Cajun talk and speak English!”

Me? I’m packing.

Did you know that Johnny Depp is in New Mexico even as we speak? Yes he is! He’s shooting Tonto. And I’m here in Iowa. Not where I should be, by his side, offering technical advice on how he can be even more adorable each and every moment that he breathes.

Oh. Excuse me. I forgot myself.

Hey, I can drift into Deppland just a bit. The Contrarian was pulling for this woman on Jeopardy just because she had big boobs! I never noticed at all. I think that’s a lousy reason to cheer for a contestant.

John has talent. Pure, gorgeous talent, from the tip of his head to the tip of his toe. And I would like to . . .

Back to REAL LIFE.

Real life has Willard in it. Oh that man annoys the bejesus out of me. The phony of phonies, not to be confused with the holy of holies. Or the moly of molies.

Excuse me. I have to make some scalloped potatoes. Explain that name to me. They have no scallops in them, are not cut to resembled scalloped edging. So what is it with calling them scalloped? Huh?

¶

Wanna watch evolution in reverse? Head to the state of Tennessee where you can see the latest in evolutionary chic, which is creationism in all it’s glory. Yes, ladies and gents hurry up and watch the fake illusory fable compete with science.

From this day forward, lil childrins in the fair state of Tennessee whose namer was a writing stutterer (the true spelling of which is Tenese), will be teached both truth and fable in one jumble of hogwash that passes as your basic edge-E-cation. You will learn if you are so inclined that all these so-called “theories” are controversial, as Pastor Backwards so informed you last Sunday from his pulpit. He learnt that from his KJV which has all the important stuff in red, for the quick tour.

They also passed a law that allows all those ten commandments to be displayed everywhere so you can refresh you memory before stoopin’ the mayors sweet wife when she comes in for some “pork” at the deli.

Oh I did not say that.

¶

I have a question. The Willard says that the President doesn’t understand the economy.

Willard says he was a business man.

Does that mean he understands the economy?

Does The Willard have as many experts advising him on the economy as the President has?

Another example of the inability of Republicans to follow plain logic.

¶

Instead of quietly walking away from an issue that is killing them, the GOP is racing over the cliff. In Tennessee, as you no doubt heard, there is a bill that would require every doctor who does an abortion to be in a list, and that list must include the patients, and plenty of personal information about them. It seems that if you can’t stop the abortion, you make a list of all the necessary information for hate groups and their too-willing nuts to “take care of the problem” themselves.

And In Arizona, when even the dried up prune, Jan Brewer refused to sign the “employer decides if your contraception is for the right purpose” bill, another bright GOP bulb wants prospective aborting women to “have to watch a real abortion” first. And before you are treated for prostate cancer you idiot, I think you should was some ass surgery.

¶

Remember back when President Obama and Senator of Orange, John Boehner were close to the “grand bargain” to pass a budget and end the debt ceiling crisis? Remember that? And remember when JB said that the reason it failed was that “Obama moved the goal posts once again”? And remember that he looked a little sheepish?

Well, the truth comes forth. Indeed the Prez and lil’ weiner Boehner were near a deal. And Boehner was very sincere. And while he was being very sincere, wanna be Eric Cantor was being very sincere in going around all the TeaPeople® and telling them that he would lead them in a mutiny against JB, and whispering that JB was nothing but a low-down RINO.

Now, a bit of history is in order. Way back in the time of Newtydom, when Newt was Speaker, he was getting entirely too friendly with working with President Clinton. The religious RAgeous Right decided his time had come, and they were organizing a mutiny to dump Newty. Dick Armey thought he was their chosen heir apparent. Except they had in mind Steve Largent (previously a footballer who had got that old time religion and was married to  James Dobson and Tony Perkins and all those crazy MF’s). So Armey told Newt, and Newt avoided the coup.

So, Boehner gets wind of the tides of NO CONFIDENCE about to descend upon his Cheetos head, and well, he ran screamin’ into the night of NO.

And that’s the way that grand bargain fell apart.  And that MF I threw it in there? That was Mindless Furies. Cuz I don’t use those bad words.

¶

And this I just leave you with, cuz I haven’t worked up anything really good on it yet. I swear it’s true though. Here in Iowa they have begun advertising a website called Farmers.com which is for farmy types who are looking for love. It’s a dating service for hicks. I swear it’s true. I do.

 

Dude, Yer Messin’ With My Space-Time Continuum

Tags

contraception, Contrarian, Election 2012, Humor, life in the meadow, Mitt Romney, Women's issues

The “issue” reached critical mass yesterday evening. In the midst of a days-long marathon of NCAA basketball, the Contrarian and I found ourselves side by side watching the game.

I say “the” game not of course meaning it. There were four games going on simultaneously, and the “man with the remote” was busy at each commercial break, switching back and forth, grumbling constantly at the “infinite ability of networks to syncronize their breaks so that I am forced to watch these MF’ing same stupid commercials over and over again.”

I, on the other hand, am getting a headache as my brain tries to change gears a dozen times as the screen before me suddenly changes for NO APPARENT REASON since the buttons on said remote are silent.

After this has gone on interminally, from my perspective, which is the only one that counts, I grabbed the offensive weapon in a rare moment when it had been set down.

“NO, NO, NO, NO. GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK! he veritably screamed in terror and child-like tantrumish frantic cries.

“GIVE IT BACK!!!!”

“Not until you stop pushing the buttons every three seconds!”

“I’m in charge of keeping track of the games. You can’t even find a stupid channel by yourself. Give it back NOW!”

Truly, he was only seconds away from flopping on the floor and going into all-out kicking screaming mode, when I relented and handed it back.

He calmed down visibly, but you could still see the hand shaking even in that momentary withdrawl.

Which brings me to today.

I don’t ask for much. Surely you can see that.

I get up on Saturday, and busy myself with wash and with recipe creations and so forth, and with a nice cup of coffee and a quiet (did I mention QUIET?) beginning to my day watching Chris Hayes on “UP” on MSNBC. I sit and ponder, listening carefully to the nuggets of wisdom that may come forth.

He gets up. He is YOU KNOW WHO.

I step off to finish up some dishes for a few seconds, and return, setting calmly once again.

And then it happens. The commercial begins, and he grabs that thing and starts pushing buttons and the screen is flashing by.

“What have you done?” I ask suspiciously.

“I’m just catching up,” he says.

“Catching up with what?” I look with rather more suspicion.

“I backed it up to check something, so now we are catching up again. Not to worry, almost there.”

“Are you saying that I was watching that and THOUGHT it was real time and it really wasn’t?”

“Yep, no harm no foul, as they say.”

“Dude, you have messed up my space-time continuum. I will be off center all damn day now! Man, you are not to be trusted even for a minute.”

Welcome to my world.

¶

See, insurance has been covering most contraception for a long time. Except now, the crazies think it’s a new Obama thing.

So they are against it. Even though they are for me paying for their pregnancies, wanted or unwanted. They are for me paying for their Viagra. They are for me paying for their diabetic medicine when their diabetes is caused by OBESITY, because they can’t keep their mouths shut in the face of a donut. This is simple logic.

They are not able to logically see that this is all the same stuff.

Republicans are not logical.

This is a syllogym that anyone can understand. Except Republicans. They can’t, for obvious reasons.

They say that when he was at Bain Capital, Willard had a piece of tape placed upon the floor, several feet in front of his desk. Those who entered were to come no closer, unless invited.

I don’t know if that’s true. I sounds true.

You know what I mean?

They say Willard is inevitable.

Willard says that himself.

So are death and taxes.

Anybody voting for them?

See, Ron won’t get out until somebody agrees to eliminate the Fed.

Newt won’t get out because he has no friends, and he hasn’t had anyone to talk to for years.

Rick won’t get out because he’s on a sacred crusade from God, and you can’t say no to God.

Mitt won’t get out because, he’s still trying to prove he can do better than Dad.

Chris won’t get in because he’s too fat and lazy.

Jeb won’t get in because he had a brother who every pretty much still hates.

Sarah and Alan all are waving their hands frantically—WE WILL SERVE, and nobody cares. Or they care just enough to be mortified.

¶

I hereby certify that the Republic is safe for the day. You may wander around the planet as you desire.

And don’t forget to laugh.

 

The Willard Does the Cain Thang!

Tags

contraception, crazy media, Election 2012, GOP, Mitt Romney, Obama, racism, Rush Limbaugh, women's rights

Or, “It ain’t no flippin’ flop”, I mean,  “I flipped before I flopped, NOT”.

“I MISUNDERSTOOD THE QUESTION!!!”

So says the Willard. This flop only took one hour.

Being interviewed in Ohio, Mr. Wizard Mouth, said that he “was not going there” when it came to interfering in the contraceptive decisions between a husband and a wife. He was “not in favor of the Blunt amendment.”  No, no he was not.

But then, back in the Romney board room, this ensuing conversation was overheard:  

“YOU FREAKIN’ SCREWED THE POOCH.”

“Huh?, What’d I do?”

“The phone is ringing off my belt! The Righteous TeaMob® is on the way with pitchforks, yelling for your head!”

“I don’t understand. Ann, can you explain?”

“Dear, the Tea People are FOR the Blunt amendment! Remember? It’s not about contraception, it’s about the freedom of every person to live out their faith or any seriously and honestly held moral belief. Don’t you remember?”

“Oh, yes, I’m for FREEDOM and the AMERICAN WAY. I just thought we were supposed to avoid that Santorum  stuff . . .you know, next they’ll start talking about the YOU KNOW WHAT.”

“So we are for the Blunt amendment? It’s so hard to keep all this straight.”

“We’ll say you misunderstood the question. You go out and say you are FOR the Blunt Amendment. You thought they were talking about some state bill in Ohio which would make it illegal for women to be covered for contraception. And you would be against that sort of thing, naturally, but FOR the Blunt amendment.”

“Yeah, I’m FOR the Blunt amendment. I aways was, you know. Never wavered on that one second. It doesn’t include Viagra right? No, I’m sure it doesn’t. My flip-floppin’ days are behind me. Well, actually I never flipped, no, not ever, not once.”

“What’s for lunch? I was hoping for some good Crab Salad and let’s have that good French Chardonnay Ann sent for from the wine cellar.”

(Reported by the fly on the wall. Reading between the lines, but probably accurate because what’s good enough for the GOP is good enough for you!)

For the record: the amendment was defined by the interviewer thusly: “Blunt-Rubio is being debated, I believe, later this week. It deals with banning or allowing employers to ban providing female contraception. Have you taken a position on it? He [Santorum] said he was for that. We’ll talk about personhood in a second, but he’s for that. Have you taken a position?” It’s rather a stretch to suggest you misunderstood and thought the question was about Ohio legislation. DOES BLUNT-RUBIO mean anything to you?

¶

It may seem that I sometimes am a bit harsh to some of the citizenry of our fair country.

And it is true, I am sometimes a bit harsh.

But then, if they would just stop pissin’ me off, I’d be ever so much nicer.

Really I would.

Like The LimpDick Rushkin. He’s a dick with no where to go. I’m quite sure of that. I mean would you? Of course not.

So, given that he hasn’t seen any lady parts in so long they are but a distant Penthouse memory, he is given to saying really really ugly things to women.

Because he blames them, for you know, his homeless dick.

Georgetown student, Sandra Fluke was given the opportunity to speak of what lack of an ability to pay for contraceptives had meant to her life. The sick one, had this to say:

What does it say about the college coed Susan [sic] Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex.

“She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? We’re the pimps.

“The johns, that’s right. We would be the johns — no! We’re not the johns. Well — yeah, that’s right. Pimp’s not the right word.

“OK, so, she’s not a slut. She’s round-heeled. I take it back.”

And then there is the judicial giant, US District Court Judge Richard Cebull, who likes to send racial garbage via e-mail from the courthouse. He apologies to “anyone who might have been offended,” of course. It is Montana after all. I WAS appointed by Dubya, so I guess it’s understandable that he sent this joke:

 “A MOM’S MEMORY.” 

Normally I  don’t send or forward a lot of these, but even by my standards, it was a bit touching. I want all of my friends to feel what I felt when I read this. Hope it touches your heart like it did mine. 

“A little boy said to his mother; ‘Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?'” the email joke reads. “His mother replied, ‘Don’t even go there Barack! From what I can remember about that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark!'”

So am I being too hard on the good folks whose political opinions I disagree with? Am I?

¶

Leavin’ ya with a laugh.

Today: Willard is asked about whether he is strong on gun rights: He says: “I like all the amendments”  

In the Past: Sarah Palin is asked what magazines and newspapers she reads: “Um, all of them, any of them. . .”

*shiver* 

Related articles

• Mitt: I misunderstood Blunt question (politico.com)
• Romney clarifies his position on Blunt amendment (sfgate.com)
• TRENDING: Romney stumbles over question about GOP contraception push (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)

I Learnt It, So You Doh’nt Halve Ta

Tags

basketball, blogging, contraception, GOP, humjor, Mitt Romney, search terms, Women's reproductive rights

Wanna go ride on my yacht?

Well, I do try.

I got to thinking this morning, “Sherry, old girl, just what have you learned this week?” And I said, wow, when you think about it, I learned a real lot.

And it would be simply wrong if you wasted your time searching out all this stuff on your own. We should work together, you know what I mean? So, here, nice and suck-cint, you can get all my know-it-all-ledge fer free.

So, without further ado (whatever ado is–a challenge for you!), let me get right to it.

First of all, I was pissed. I was really p.o.’d to learn that I was wasting all my youthful years counting pills and trying to remember to take one every day, except the seven days I wasn’t supposed to, and screwin’ it up half the time and then worryin’ about whether I was gonna get “that time of the month” or not. ‘

All I had to do, was get some damn aspirin.

I am thinkin’ about suing my gynecologist, if he is still alive.

Second, I learned (I’m slow, what can I say) that the Republican party is pretty much criminally perverted. Those white boys (most of  ’em are you know) have an inordinate interest in my ‘gina. The Virginie (Virgin get it? how freakin’ ironic is that?) Governor, whom some say wants to be Willard’s VEEP, should Willard EEP over Rut-roh Ricky, is poised to sign a bill that REQUIRES any “with child” female to have her lady parts probed by some instrument just to remind her that indeed she is preggers.

Now, besides being a sick invasion of my right to keep my legs together when I want to, it’s all the more evidence that these loonies don’t get any (men call it nookie) at home, or what they do get is of such poor quality that they obsess about it 24/7.

If you didn’t hear, Mr. Issa, (a busybody if there ever was one) had a hearing yesterday about ladies SEX-UAL rights, and the whole discussion was between a bunch of guys (what’s new about that I ask ya), and some of ’em even swear (which is only a promise to do their very best after all) off wimmen all together, but seem to know best what we should or shouldn’t do with our junk, if women’s ladies parts can be called junk, like guys boy parts are now called junk. Or is women’s junk only in the trunk? I get confused.

And I guess that when you swear to be a Republican, you are injected with some stupid ink, because even Scott Brown, the upset Massachewwww-sets Senator, who is trying to stave off that nice Elizabeth Warren, signed on to a  bill that would allow any business owner of ANYTHING the right to deny contraceptive coverage or any other health coverage that “violated his religious beliefs.”  Has he lost his mind?

I mean, there are some freakin’ idiotic religions out there, (and I don’t judge mind ya) but I sure don’t like the idea that some person can decide not to fund cancer care because God punishes people for not trusting in prayer and braying at the moon at 11 pm each night for a fortnight, all the while flipping a cold pancake in a skillet. (Trust me, if you look hard enough you will find such a religion.)

Well, are we only at three? Thirdly I learned that Neil Degrasse Tyson has gotta resign as a astrophysicist. This according to the Daily Show’s, Larry Wilmore. You see, Dr. Tyson is an African-American, and in a field of endeavor that is usually reserved for Asians (Michio Kaku, duh). By entering said field, he has upset the balance of the universe, which is why this kid Jeremy Lin has become this phenom in basketball, the unquestioned domain of the African-American world. So the universe demands a-righting. Certainly this makes sense.

Fourthly, I learned that a ton of folks who come to this blog come looking for themselves. This is proven by the following search terms that continue to lead:

• Your an idiot
• evolution jokes
• I’m stupid
• Elmer fudd

Now, I’m also, apparently a good place to learn about monkeys. Search terms “funny monkey weed in mouth,” and “monkeys having sex” are big here as well.

I am not sure what is going on with “vineyard bible” but I guess a lot of people find God in by imbibing wine.

I’m similarly confused about what “picture drowning in paper” is all about, but I suppose it relates to the fact that I continue to attract people not quite right in the head. Either that or Salvador Dali is alive and seeking inspiration.

Johnny Depp continues to be the most sought after search term. That just makes me smile. I wonder if he reads this. If so, I love you Mr. Depp, most respectfully of course. Of course.

Fifthly, or thereabouts, Willard said that the trees in Michigan are “just right”, as in height. I didn’t know that Michigan’s trees were different in height than say those in Maine or New Jersey, or even in tight-assed South Carolina. But he said he liked the height of the trees, and then went on to say that he loved the “lakes”. Not just the “great lakes” he assured, but all the other little lakes all over. And the cars, by God he loves the cars. He mentions Mustang a lot. If he can mention ten “facts” about Michigan, it means he’s connected to the state and you should vote for him. I guess that’s what it means.

Willard has an ad of him and his papa lookin’ out over something, except that it is not a scene from Michigan at all, but of some world’s fair, somewhere else. And the car that is featured is a Chrysler, and his dad ran GM which is not the same.

Willard is mixed up–a lot. I learned that real good. And he is trying to hard. It’s embarrassing. Really.

I’m wondering. Does the Mormon church teach that anyone who is President of the US get some special job in heaven? Willard seems so desperate.

Just sayin’.

Ragin’ Rick is Ahead by a Nose. . . .

Tags

bigotry, Citizens United, contraception, Election 2012, Fox, Humor, Koch Brothers, Mitch McDonnell, Obama, Whitney Houston, women's rights

At least some of the latest polling have Rick with a narrow lead. Even later polling suggests he’s pulling ahead in Michigan, long thought to be a Willard surety.

As you know, Newty is being bankrolled by one guy. And so is Rick. And Romney is beholden to a handful of very rich.

It looks for all the world as if a few oldish white dudes are having themselves a dog race. You can hear them at the fence, yelling for their dog to “get there”.

Grayhounds wear muzzles to keep them from biting. I’m sure the Sugar Pops have their dogs muzzled as well.

Which in some sense, makes it all the more a circus I guess. But this Citizens United has some really bad consequences. When it comes to local races, a single man can pretty much put into office, be it mayor, councilperson, state senator, or representative, anyone they choose, simply by pooring tens of thousands into campaigns that are usually waged for a few grand.

Over time, you build a majority. We saw the religious right do this on the issue of creationism by stacking school boards with hidden creationists. We have seen it in state legislatures who upturned states into Republican majorities and now are pushing anti-union, anti-voter, and more social legislation that could never been passed in statewide referendums.

Citizens United is a much more dangerous thing than most believe. We really must get behind a constitutional amendment to declare corporations “non-citizens” as it relates to campaign contributions. We must insist on full transparency of donors, and we must enforce strict limits on individual campaign contributions and eliminate “super pacs” and other such creative organizations whose sole purpose is to destroy fair elections.

*stepping off the soap box

¶

I’m guessing that turtles don’t have the most passionate and exciting sex lives in the world. I’m guessin’ that they must be pretty lousy in fact. I know that because Mitch McConnell, has decided that it makes a lot of sense to back a bill in Congress that allow any employer the right to refuse to cover birth control in the health care packages they offer to employees.

And Mitch? Women don’t like you either.

And apparently Mitch, probably because of the shell and all, can’t see the end run going around behind his back. Hehe. Poor turtle.

¶

You might have heard that Ricky is being largely held aloft by a dude by the name of Foster Friesse. You might want to take a look at who he is. (You can assume he’s nutty as a fruit cake, cuz he is.) Islamophobe, Liberals are satan, and a founding donor of Daily Caller.

¶

Christine, *I am not a witch* O’Donnell has indicated that she might be willing to serve in a Romney administration, if she can find the time.

I’m wondering do they have an opening for chief caldron stirrer? Or would she just entertain at parties?

¶

Whitney Houston was a singer that stood at the top of her profession. Her abilities cannot be overstated. She was also a deeply troubled woman who, like so many, found some solace in drugs. And in the end, it may turn out that the drugs took her life. I am sorry to learn of her death.

I have never pulled any punches here as to what I think about Fox News. They are a slick, wily organization who set out to capture an audience that they thought had no voice. While touting their “fair and balanced”, they have been anything but. They have used every code word, every nuance to suggest that the racists among their followers, were in some sense justified in their bigotry. They have sought to embrace, explain, excuse, and ignore the real demographic of hate that embraces their version of “journalism”.

Little Green Footballs reports that they were inundated with over 5000 comments on their report that Houston had died. They were among the most ugly I have ever read, and I read Blaze comments regularly.  Perhaps Fox has closed the thread, because I could not locate it on their report. Perhaps you need to register on their site in order to see them. But in any case, this is shameful. It is beyond shameful and yet, of course, you see nothing from Fox commenting on the hate that floods their site. It is instructive.

¶

There is a new book out called The Obama Hate Machine. There is a review of it over at Politicususa. You might want to take a look. Never have a small group of men done so much to destroy one man. And they started from the moment he took office.

¶

Was it just after his win in Carolina that Newtster told Santorum that he ought to withdraw from the race so that Newt could solidify his “inevitable” nomination? One wonders if Newt will now take his own advice and withdraw in favor of Santorum who is starting to pull out in front of Willard?

Some how, I’m thinkin’ he won’t.

¶

Remember when Chris Christie made all that stupid talk about how if the LGBT crowd was so sure of itself, they should just put it up for a referendum in the state? Well, there was a reason. The marriage equality bill is about to pass in the New Jersey Legislature, and old Christie will be forced to veto it. He’d rather not, so he could stay out of the issue.

Now go try to have an hypocrisy-free day, if ya can. It’s always a struggle.

**excuse any typos, I’ve been having a war with the spellcheck on WordPress for a week. Mostly it won’t work.