Existential Ennui

~ Searching for Meaning Amid the Chaos

Existential Ennui

Tag Archives: Advent

It’s Really Too Late

23 Thursday Dec 2010

Posted by Sherry in Advent, BVM, Christmas, Crafts, Essays, Holiday, Humor, Inspirational, Poetry, religion, What's Up?

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Advent, Billy Collins, Blessed Mother Mary, bottle brush trees, Christmas decorating, Crafts, hope, Magnificat, Poetry, religion

Are you starting to panic? Too much left to do and not enough time? Forgetaboutit! Tis the season to enjoy friends and family and good eats. Stop obsessing!

Easy to say I know. Not having to shop is a big plus. I’m in truffles today. I have them all set up on cookie sheets, just letting them harden up a bit before I do the rolling. This year it’s ground almonds, cocoa, sprinkles, and powdered sugar. I have 39, so ten of each except one.

Tomorrow the nut clusters and I have all the yummy cookie, candy stuff done. The cooking should be easy on Saturday. One casserole which throws together and the ham. The rest is just a veggie and a relish tray, and heating up some stuffing. Have to remember to get that out of the freezer tomorrow.

If you are deep into reflection on the true “reason for the season” however you define that, then you might find some uplifting thoughts at Women Beneath the Cross‘s, The Magnificat: Realizing God’s Dream.  Commonweal, in a short reflection tells us Jesus’ flight into Egypt, while of course echoing Moses, also speaks eloquently to immigrants today, and the dangerous lives they face. And Michael Hogue from Tikkun Daily Blog, reminds us that the only answer is hope in incremental improvements in a very imperfect world.

***

I guess it’s pretty late for crafts, but you might want to stop by a Michael’s after the holidays and pick up some of these for next year to do. They are those old rather nasty looking “bottle brush” trees. Most everyone has had one or more of these in the past. Vickie at Uncommon Artistic Endeavors has all the simple directions to turn these cheap “trees” into real stunning decorations.

***

I know that poetry, like most art is somewhat subjective. What I love, you loathe, or points between. But this poem, called Aristotle from 3quarksdaily, is simply stunning in its imagery. Please do yourself a favor and take a look. I don’t think you will be sorry.  

***

Sometimes prayers are answered like immediately. I kid you not. (that was a popular saying back in the day.) We have this cat, Calvin. He’s a beauty, all orangey and spotted. He likes milk, and he bawls at you when he wants it. He’s taken to sitting on the table with me in the morning and following along with morning prayer.

He usually prowls around with the other boy cats during the night. Last night he was absent. This usually causes a minor concern that he has been let outside and forgotten. All doors are checked. He is not around.

So I figure he’s just hunkered down in one of his hidy-holes.  In the morning, no Calvin emerges to join me for Thursday, Week IV, antiphons and psalms. I begin to worry. As we discover various hidy-holes, he creates new ones. Is the tyke sick?

So, I’m doing my prayers, and I say, “God, will you push Calvin out into the open just so we know he’s okay?” Less than ten seconds go by, before I hear a rustling behind me. A large box is on the table, on its side, and Kate has taken to it as her refuge. When I look, Calvin is rearranging himself in it. Been there all night no doubt.

God, busy as things get, seems to have time for my simple request. 🙂

Believe it, or not, as you wish.

***

It’s a slow day. What can I say. The truffles are done, and dinner is in the oven.

What’s on the stove: Arroz Con Pollo. Stuffed celery. Rolls.

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Ho, Ho, Ho, Witchy Poo is Back!

14 Tuesday Dec 2010

Posted by Sherry in Advent, Afghanistan, Bible, Economy, Essays, fundamentalism, Genesis, GOP, Humor, Jesus, religion, Satire, teabaggers, What's Up?

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Advent, bible, birthers, Christine O'Donnell, Christmas, Frankincense, fundamentalists, Genesis, GOP, Jesus, Michael Steele

She learned at the knee of the Wasilla Wombat. She learned that when the electorate rejects ya, get up, dust yourself off, and keep on yappin’. You will surely find enough poor souls to pay your way.

So Christine O’Donnell, finding the cupboard most bare, formed a PAC and, now her bills taken care of, she can utter profound (in her ditzy mind) quips, and otherwise try to interject herself into adult conversations.

Not content to get two of the top ten quotes of the year, she’s after more. She’s in a friendly race with sista Sarah to be both the most obnoxious, won’t go away buffoon and the biggest butcher of the English language to date.

If enough isn’t being said about the tax bill being decided Ms. Chatty Christie has weighed in. Of course she’s all for the Bush tax cuts being extended and she hates all the stuff for those in economic free fall. According to the non-witchy one, tragedies come in threes–Pearl Harbor, Elizabeth Edwards death, and now these confounded extensions of unemployment benefits. She then tried to explain what THAT meant, and of course failed. Halloween can’t return fast enough.

***

You and I are much alike. Therefore, I feel confident that you too have spent countless hours? maybe even days, wondering what the hell frankincense  is or was. Given the season, well, I went a lookin’ for an answer for us both.

I tried Senator Franken, but he demurred, pointing out that there is an “e” after the K in his name, not an “i” as in frankincense. So I figured Slate would have the answer, and they did. Read all about it here, and surprise friends and family with your new-found sparkling intellect.

***

I think a lot like Keith Olbermann I guess. At least two of his items from last night’s show were links on my blog. We, meaning me and he and his researchers must be reading some of the same bloggers online. That’s comforting to me. And of course, you can know that you’re getting the “best” when you come here. *snicker* and “toot”.

***

It appears that Michael, I’m da black man in the Repiglians world, Steele, has decided to give it another go round. Shocking all the Repoopers with the news he was not gonna go “quietly into the night” he threw his hat in the ring to be the paper tiger in the GOP once again.

Now this pissed off tons of the GOP regulars, since they thought that two years was enough to prove they aren’t the bigots everybody says they are. They were tired of Mr. Steele’s general stupidity, hoof and mouth disease, and all around big spender attitude.

Ain’t it just fun watching the GOP fracture along so many different lines?

***

Let those with brains, think. We, with regularity, point out that fundigelicals are guilty mostly of reading biblical texts in a manner that supports their own needs and general beliefs about the world. They accept as literal those things that seem right to them anyway, and reject/ignore/explain away other quite direct statements when they cut against their needs and beliefs.

A provocative post at Biologos explains how early Jewish theologians were pained to clothe Adam and Eve, to protect their ideas of cultural “rightness” in their day. Indeed, we are all subject to that influence. Read, Genesis, Creation and Ancient Interpreters: Adam and Eve’s Nakedness.

***

If you just want to read something sweet and uplifting and well, Christmasy, then read Five String Guitar’s post about he and his wife’s latest Christmas shopping trip. It will warm your heart! Try it!

***

Hold onto your shorts folks. I have a major announcement to make! I do not DO NOT DO NOT have an opinion on the Julian Assange/Wikileaks affair. Nope, I surely don’t. Stand by: I may have one tomorrow. But so far, I don’t.

***

Take a look at this face, and if you ever see it, you will be looking into the face of a modern medical miracle. This man can actually walk and speak.

This buffoon, a Lt. Col. in the Army just pled guilty at his court-martial and faces eighteen months in prison, all because he refused to go to Afghanistan because the President is not a citizen and thus cannot legally give such an order.

What is worse, he was not ordered to Afghanistan but VOLUNTEERED, just to force this case. It is simply stunningly amazing that anyone can be this stupid, and be a surgeon.

Do not, repeat, do not, allow this man near you with a scalpel. No doubt his medical licence is also at risk due to his felony conviction.

***

The Contrarian is installing plastic sheeting over the bay windows in the living room. Plenty of naughty words are emanating from there. I am not going out there to see. The cats have all gone into hiding. Brandy wouldn’t come up the steps again, the rain/slush/snow had her carpet all frozen up and slick. So now there are towels down, until it warms enough to de-ice. This is all no big deal, except when it’s 4 below zero and 2:30 am and you are out there begging and pleading with her to “try.”

***

What’s on the stove today?  Tostados! Hurrah.

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Are You Prepared?

06 Sunday Dec 2009

Posted by Sherry in Advent, Bible, God, Jesus, religion, theology

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Advent, bible, God, Jesus, Luke, Malachi, prayer life

This is indeed a busy time of the year. For believers, it is more so I suspect as we attempt to meet our secular obligations of tree and gifts, parties and food, all the while being mindful of it’s religious significance.

Indeed, Advent is the new year of the Church, a time of preparation for the coming of the Lord and the necessary waiting that that too entails.

What exactly does it mean to prepare for the coming of the Lord? A couple of our readings from today’s liturgy points to a conclusion. In Malachi 3:1-4 we learn that God will send his angel to “prepare the way.” We will be refined like gold and silver. It suggests that we should be participating in this preparation so that our refining will not be long and painful.

Similarly, in Luke 3:1-6, John the Baptist warns us to prepare the way of the Lord and to make his roads straight and make the rough smooth. We are to engage both singularly and in community in an effort to make the “Way” easy for all.

What exactly constitutes preparing the way? It is a difficult question, and undoubtedly elicits many responses and there may be more than one which is correct. But it seems to me, that one thing we might do as believers is to engage in a process that we usually leave to Lent–namely that of self-examination. This may well lead to repentance, but can also and more productively lead to changes in faith life that in fact prepare for the coming.

I can think of three areas that we  might concentrate.

I was reading yesterday about the disciples who were walking to Emmaus when they met the risen Lord. They did not however “see” him as such. Only later, in the breaking of the bread did they do so. It has been suggested that they failed to recognize the Lord on the road because their knowledge of Christ didn’t include this possibility. Their knowledge was faulty, and thus they were unable to perceive his presence with them. In the familiarity of the breaking of the bread, they immediately knew him.

What does this suggest?

Well to me, it suggests that we should never feel satisfied that we “understand” God or his teachings. We are and should ever more be, learners and seekers of knowledge. If we have knowledge, we should seek better knowledge. We should always be challenging ourselves and our information.

For me, this always entails reading against my comfort. I purposefully read the fringes a lot, both in Christianity and elsewhere. I listen carefully to the arguments advanced by atheists and those who profess Christian beliefs much different from my own. I test my beliefs against those. If my beliefs are correct or more correct, then surely they will withstand the comparison. If not, they should surely fade away.

So for me, the first thing I ask myself, is: am I challenging my preconceived notions about God and Jesus, about his message and methodology?  It may surprise some to hear me say that not everything a fundamentalist has to say to me is wrong by my estimation. I have read commentaries on the bible that were fundamentalist in nature and surely I have agreed with some of their statements on some things. It’s just that overall, I consider this method of interpretation to lead to false conclusions, and frankly too much of the rest is childish and simplistic. But there is truth to be found here. And it is important to stretch ourselves always.

The second thing I ask myself is what am I doing in my prayer life and how should that be altered? Am I going through the motions? Am I praying at all? Am I praying thoughtfully? Am I taking the time to do so in a manner that is reverential and not just “oh I’m stuck here in this grocery line. A good time to cross off “prayers” on my to do list.” Are my prayers centered on me or on others and the world? Am I asking that things be my way, or the way best and most likely to be of benefit to the greatest number?

Third, I think we all must ask whether our church is aiding us in our preparation? Is it encouraging our questions and searching or is it regurgitating a set of dogmatic statements that we are to adhere to ? Does it uphold our struggles with our wildernesses and our Emmaus times? Does it honor our “heretical” thoughts as we examine in all honesty exactly what Jesus means to us personally? In other words, is it a faithful partner or the Boss?

I think that question is important, since a church that is steeped in rigid dogma may not be helpful in our pushing out at the edges. It may squelch or try to even gently dissuade us from challenging our beliefs in order to better know our Lord. As I said, nothing is lost from truth, it will out. If we have it, it is surely strong enough to remain standing after our questions.

So I suggest to you that indeed, we have much preparation to do in the coming short weeks. The Lord awaits us with anticipation as we travel the road to Christmas morning. Let us do our best to see him clearly and with honest love, and a deep appreciation of his teachings.

Lord give me the wisdom to see you clearly and to discern truth first. Let my desires of what I want you to be, be tempered with the realization that the truth of you is always better than making me feel comfortable. And let me then, Lord, speak that truth to others in loving compassion for all. Amen.


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Still Trying to Imagine

08 Monday Dec 2008

Posted by Sherry in Essays, God, Jesus, Saints, War/Military

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Advent, Bonhoeffer, God, Jesus, John Lennon, War

johnlennonpicture1Oh how times move along, so fast. It was 28 years ago yesterday that John Lennon was murdered in New York City.

As I tried to digest that fact a number of  things I have been reading and thinking about seemed to join at a cross roads of sorts with this bit of news.

I was a child of my very earliest teens when the Beatles hit the stage. I was madly in love with Ringo for about three years, until I found boys in my nearer vicinity much more appealing than a rock star whom I would never in life meet.

It was years later that I began to understand the extraordinary talent of John Lennon, who in league with Paul McCartney began to write truly significant songs, songs that spoke to us in the manner of a Bob Dylan.

When I think of Lennon, I always think first of either “Give Peace a Chance” or “Imagine.” Both speak to an age of war protest, and protest in general against the powers that be. The white male, establishment, paternalism of our youth. That which we believed we would change by the very force of our devotion to the ideal of justice. Of course, it did not happen, and plenty over the years have argued that the peace movement of the 60’s was a sham, perpetrated by rich kids with too much time on their hands.

For it seems, that with dogged regularity, most of us succumbed to the world as it then existed, dutifully finished our degrees and entered the world of responsible adulthood. We carried no banners to the boardrooms or courthouses for the most part. We became the establishment we so desperately railed against.

Yet, the stirring words of either song mentioned above, takes us back rapidly to that idealism we show cherished and claimed we would never abandon. It seems most poignant today as we are into the second week of Advent, enmeshed in two foreign wars,  trying to make sense of tragedies around the world that leave the innocent dead and  the rest of us reeling in disbelief, and financial ruin for so many.

How have we lived 28 years since his death, and seemingly achieved almost nothing? Christ calls us to peace at every turn. Indeed, the angels when announcing the good news of his birth, told us:  “Peace on earth and good will to those whom God favors.” Isaiah reminds us that:

“He shall judge between the nations, and shall arbitrate for many peoples; they shall beat their plows into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.”

Yet we hear not. It’s always one more war, one more excursion into other lands spreading our version of freedom at the point of a gun. We cannot imagine, it seems, what John Lennon did.  Or perhaps we await it’s happening but feel no responsibility to help it be ushered in?Are we to stand idly by and wait? Or are we to act?

bonhoefferDietrich Bonhoeffer taught us that we should act. Born in around 1906, he came of age during the build up of Nazi Germany. Although he was safely removed from the country, he returned and was a vocal voice against the Nazis. He recognized that Hitler’s plans were destructive of both the country he loved and the way of life he believed in. No passive denunciation from afar. No, he gave all, his very life in the cause of ending Hitler’s monstrous plans.

He carried the cross, as few of us are prepared to do. “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” Such was his belief. God was his master and no self-designated leader was going to prevail without his strong and fearless objection. He died at age 39, in a prison camp, murdered by the Gestapo mere days before the camp was liberated by allied forces.

A strange choice for reading material in this Advent season no doubt. But somehow fitting. Bonhoeffer did not just await the coming of Christ, he prepared, he acted. And indeed we are reminded by the bridesmaid parable, that action is required if we are to put on the mantle of Christ.

We have acted recently, hopefully in our vigorous electioneering for Barack Obama. But we are not through yet. We may not sit and comfortably coo at our laurel wreaths. We still have wars to end, and truth be told, Mr. Obama talks of murdering Osama bin Laden often. His may well be opposed to the war in Iraq for technical reasons, but he will not be accused of being a pacifist I suspect.

Murder, war, violence are still part of our national and international discourse. As Zimbabwe descends into utter chaos and death, we ponder and wring our hands. We do nothing though.

And indeed, this becomes the cross roads does it not? Where is violence good? Bonhoeffer felt that it was a necessary thing. He was in favor of active resistance to the Nazis, not just passive resistance. Those of us who oppose violence as a means to an end, are pulled up short. Just what should we do about these regimes who exist as parasites off the backs of their people?

When talking does no good what then? Will Osama bin Laden listen to reason? Plenty of others have not. But others have. Who is to know? So far, Robert Mugabe has not listened. Kim Il Sung appears to from time to time. Muammar al Gaddafi seems to have. But it is all fluid, and can change at any moment. But I do know that we must act as one. One voice, the voice of humanity.

We must say NO. We must say that such atrocities will not be allowed to be perpetrated by those whose only aim is to live the high life off the backs of their countrymen. If we say it and mean it, if we, as a world enter and stop these vile actions and make it clear that we will not allow them to occur anywhere, this will end. Sooner or later, all will agree that there is no future in tyranny. But we are not of course there.

Not yet anyhow. But each voice adds to the growing majority. Are there people who actively look at the world and decide that war is a good thing? I doubt it. Their ranks are stable. But the ranks of those who wish to “give peace a chance” are growing, and I believe that there will be a tipping point. When that point is reached, then we will act as a world. And we will end war. And we will be just, and we will treasure brotherhood. Until then, we must continue to speak out, and pray:

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

I can imagine, can you?


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Be Alert to God Among Us

01 Monday Dec 2008

Posted by Sherry in Essays, God, Jesus, religion

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Advent, Essays, God, Humility

advent_wreath1

I come today in deep humility. I don’t use that term lightly. In fact, I’ve often been not quite clear what it meant to be humble. I have struggled with this term for years, and actually would have to thank a strange source for giving me the, what I think is correct, interpretation of it. Mother Angelica is well known to those who are drawn to the more extreme traditionalism of the Roman Catholic Church. For the most part I disagree with her on most issues, but her definition of humility was I thought the correct one.

Humility means that you know that whatever good you do, that for which others try to give you praise, is not your doing, but in fact is the outpouring of God’s grace that you have graciously allowed. In other words, don’t laud me, but thank God, who really is responsible.

Previously I has thought that humility was but a cheat. People who insisted that they should not be congratulated for their accomplishments, were, in my eyes, those who actually wanted more acclaim, and by seeming to reject it, made themselves look even more worthy of praise. And I suspected, they enjoyed leaving that impression and receiving even more hearty backslapping.

But it is not like that at all. Humility is recognizing that the ego is drawn to deeply selfish motives at all times. It’s only desire is survival and that life be as pleasant a circumstance as possible. Rarely, the selfish desire of the ego coincides with the general good of other humans, but even then, it takes nothing from the fact that we are acting in self interest.

We have only to note the remark that the volunteer usually finds they receive more than they give. Is that not self-interest? Now I’m not arguing against volunteerism of course, that would be silly. But I am saying that we find the doing of things for others more to our liking when some good to us is also pointed out.

Humility is simply admitting that when I do something totally altruistically, it is not me, since there is no personal advantage to myself, but rather, it is but me giving permission to my God to shine forth from me in service to his people. And that is truly a humbling and understandable thing.

I struggled mightily yesterday to get to church. We got about two inches of snow, but out in the country, the roads are not cleaned as quickly as the city. It was a precarious journey, filled with alternative routes necessitated by slippery roadways. Still that is not my humility today. It but set the tone for what transpired as the day progressed and into today.

You see, I am not a winter fairy. I have grown to dislike it immensely in fact. I have never lived without snow and winter, yet I am tired to death of it all. I’m tired of the struggle, tired of the dark and dingy days. Tired of roaring winds and icy drafts. Tired of snow covered cars and sliding along roads. Tired of grouchy animals and the loss of use of my kitchen table as the cold settles in and makes the farther outreaches of the house unpleasant.

And the end result of this all, is that I begin to suffer a mild depression as the days, then weeks, and finally months ensue. I felt it clawing at me as the day progressed yesterday, and as the winds picked up over night, it began to roar in my ears. What to do for dinner tomorrow I mused? Who cares? Too lethargic to contemplate. Putting away leftovers in the freezer? Too hard to think about. Who cares?

This is something I have become well familiar with over the years. I’ve come to learn to accept it, try to move with it in a sense. But it is hard, it is well, depressing. Today is the first day of winter the way I calculate things, and I awoke a very unhappy person. Time to alert the Contrarian that I am fragile, as I attempt to grip this problem and wrestle it into submission. Or go with the flow. Whatever works.

I was deep in the bowels of this realization when I watched the morning news. The news of Mumbai continued, with interviews of Americans who lived through the assault. Now first, let me say, that entirely too much attention is being given Americans, after all the brunt of the attack fell on native Indians. But aside from that important fact, I listened as an Indian born woman, now American, and her American born husband related their tale of terror.

She related at the end something most important to her. Namely that the terrorists don’t deserve to be assigned some religion, they are renegades in some sense, and not to be confused with Muslims in general. A fine sentiment, and one I share. But as she related the horror of those hours and their final escape, separated from her husband, as they sought to maximize the possibility that one of them would survive for their children, I grew ashamed.

My shame was that I was so self-involved in my own drama that I failed to see the reality of the world around me. My petty concerns about snow and cold are minor when compared to the tragedies that envelope this world in so many guises. I was brought up short and exposed naked to the truth of my ego. My resolve came to me immediately and strongly.

Wherein, only an hour or so before, I had prayed to God that he would help sustain me through this time of growing unhappiness, and in fact lift this burden from me, I now saw God’s answer come to me dramatically and so quickly. God showed me Mumbai, and allowed me to compare the two miseries. Mine, quite obviously, came up short, as God hoped that I would so discern.

God is like that, if you pay attention. Yesterday, we began the Advent season. And the beginning of Advent stresses the issue of being alert. We are never to know the timing of the Lord’s return. We are to be alert and ready for it at a moment’s notice. I guess I was paying attention. For that I am grateful for the wonderful grace of God.

As I came on the computer, determined to write about this experience, I noted a comment on my last Godly Humor post. A lovely lady named Jennifer, left a comment. As I read it, again, it was as if God wanted to reinforce the lesson. There are things so very much more important than weather and its aggravations. There is the knowledge, that we small creatures, finite and so full of flaws, have, when we open to God’s grace, the happy opportunity to make a difference for another person.

It happens in the most unexpected ways, and by the most unexpected means. We often never know of what we do. Perhaps that is good, lest we become too full of our own abilities. For indeed, they are not ours at all, and we are prone to forget that. Jennifer thanked me, as I thanked those who had opened my eyes to a better solution.

She was really thanking God and so was I. Thanking God for his patience and perseverance in never giving up on his fragile and prone to failing children. He waits in perfect mercy for me to crack the door, inviting Him forth. And when I do, he does marvelous things, many of which I no doubt am unaware. It is never me, though I might wish it were. It is my God. That is a very humbling business indeed. Praise God, to Him be given the glory!!! I am but his vessel, the means of his mercy. Praise God indeed!


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