Elegantly Said

Tags

47%, cartoons, Election 2012, Humor, Romney, satire

 

 

Willard held a press conference, but only to make an announcement.

Pity. It would have been such fun to ask: “okay, so elegantly now describe what you were intending to mean when you said that 47% of the American people were never going to take responsibility for their lives.”

You know he wouldn’t have answered the question, because he learned in Karl Rove “Politics 101” to deflect, ignore, and obfuscate any question that would be embarrassing to answer.

Hint: all questions of any substance are embarrassing for Willard to answer.

According to Herm Cain, we can infer that Willard has no “depth” of understanding on anything other than the depth of his bank accounts in the Cayman Islands.

All of which has come to mean, that everyone, including the ranking members of the “Chattering Class” (so-called by ever-lovin’ stand-by-your-man-Ann Romney) have enjoyed the week taking pot shots at pin the tail on the donkey. The donkey is Willard.

It’s not like he’s not familiar with a horse’s ass after all.

His wife owns at least one. And I guess he makes two.

I wonder what Willard plans to do after November?

Perhaps he can go to Switzerland and run naked through a room full of his money. You know the stuff he doesn’t pay taxes on because unlike the 47% who don’t pay taxes, the 1% REALLY don’t pay taxes. It’s no tax taken to a “whole, ‘nother level.”

Meanwhile, Willard has not been doing a lot of campaigning.

It’s because he’s become addicted to puzzles.

I’m not sure that there is a solution to his puzzle however.

All the polling seems to suggest that his “path to the White House” is becoming too narrow for even the best tightrope walker to try.

And it seems that no election is local this year. The loudest refrain heard across the land by Republicans running for office this year, is “Romney? I never knew the man.”

Paulie just scratches his head, and wishes Ayn was still alive to counsel with. She would know what to do with all this collectivist shit.

The House of Lies.

The campaign of lies.

The year of lies.

The GOP has lived by the lie, and it seems now to be dying by the lie.

Karl Rove is a genius they say.

I think it’s more like he by fluke, got very lucky in 2000.

See, people didn’t understand that lying stuff. Now they do. They now ASSUME it’s a lie. Karma is like that Karlie the Dough boy. It comes back to roar in your face like the most distasteful and foul-smelling dragons. Do you like the breath of the dragon Karl? It’s withering Willard and Paulie. Spin that on Foxy Karl.

Though shall not speak up on foreign policy in the midst of a crisis.

It’s the seldom stated 13th commandment.

Though shall not speak up on foreign policy in the midst of a crisis without all the facts.

That’s the 14th commandment.

Though shall not speak up on foreign policy in the midst of a crisis and say nasty things about the Commander-in-chief, especially when you are in violation of the 14th commandment.

It’s called a Mittfire.

Which all led to redistribution.

Willard continues to think that only the 1% know words longer than eight letters.

So he thought he could make up this drama about Obama being a socialist again.

Except that everyone knows that we have been redistributing wealth in this country since the revolution. How does Willard think the roads were built in this country? How do you think that that John Adams got from Boston to Philadelphia?

It was taxing the landowners Willard, and using that to benefit EVERYBODY by building a ROAD. Dumb Willard. And do put on clothes. You are not getting a vote that way either!

I wonder what Willard thinks we are made of?

I think he thinks we want to be him. Ann whispers in his ear all night, “they are just jealous honey, because you are so successful. They know they can never be like you, because they don’t have the drive and brains, so they want to see you laid low.”

I bet that’s what she says.

She’s rather bitter don’t you think?

I mean did she just want to ride in a bitter private jet?

But really, I can’t imagine wanting to be like Willard. His life seems rather boring and dull. Being rich and stupid is highly overrated.

 

Take your pick.

He’s been all of these and more.

Do you think he is like this at home?

He likes pancakes one week, and hates them the next?

He likes Downton Abbey one week, and hates it the next?

He likes one of his boys better than the other, and then another the next?

Is the whole family in a secret therapy session being filmed for an episode of Jersey Shore? Has Snookie lost weight. (confession: never watched even one episode. It’s like wrestling–not the sane of mind.)

Well, do the best you can to have a good weekend. I may Crab Rangoon and Pork Egg Rolls this morning. They’re freezing up in the freezer now. Aren’t you even a tiny bit impressed?

 

Related articles

• Is Karl Rove Abandoning Romney? (alan.com)
• Karl Rove says Mitt Romney must ‘be careful’ with 47 percent (theblaze.com)
• Ann Romney Tells Critics ‘Stop It,’ Slams ‘Chattering Class’ (crooksandliars.com)

 

Oh the Inhumanity!

Tags

47%, Election 2012, Mitt Romney

I know that most of you are too healthy emotionally to even read the bilge from the Right. I’m not talking about the neo-conish professional Reptiligans. They are mad, but not hip-slapping stupid. I refer to the “rank and file” trailer-liven’, gun-totin’, cheeto and beer-swillin’ types. The ones, in other words, who consider it a major accomplishment to read People Magazine and not have to look up more than three words in the DICTionAry–the “sounds like” version.

The people who inhabit the Blaze

, and a horde of similar if lesser-known Righty-tighty bloggers whose major claim to fame is proving by their existence that God has a great sense of humor. Those people. I know you don’t threaten to damage your psyche by reading THEM.

Well, I am as always, willing to lay my sanity on the line for you. So I did check out a few. I thought about posting some of their comments over the 47% story, but then I thought. Will this surprise anyone at all? After a while it seems unkind to beat people who smile and mouth the words “beat me”. It just seems rather sadistic ya know.

So I’ll spare you the crazy diatribes of how FINALLY Mitt is growing a pair and telling it like it is. There were literally dozens of stories of poor unfortunate working class stiffs that lived on water and cheese for six months rather than ask for any help, which is as we all know–THE AMERICAN WAY–where the truly patriotic pull up their bootstraps, smell them gingerly to determine how best to cook ’em and carry on, in a self-less, martyr-like resolve to MAKE MY OWN WAY in the world.

The professional Goofball ON Perrier (GOP) well, they are damned mad at the utterly unprofessional manner in which the super executive businessman is doing his bizness. They think he is ruining any chance they have of taking over the world in 2013 as they had planned to do, with their American exceptionalistic bombast and military might. Grover Norquist must be turning purple, for he announced quite succinctly that all he needed was a warm body with a GOP tatoo to sign the damn shit put in front of him–Norquistian types would write the stuff for God’s sake.

So we have a tale of two responses–the cattle are mooing for more hay, and the wolves are snapping that the so-called alpha male is really neutered and a fraudulent excuse for a real Conservative. (If you have any more metaphors I can use, please do send them–this is hard work!)

And we shall see how it plays out in the polls. From what I have seen, out of the small pool of “undecideds” early polling suggests that the President is winning more by far. Since Willard Fudd thinks these are the only people who count, I guess he can stop counting.

Ya know, lets me fair. If you don’t assume that in very small groups, in closed safe environments, most politicians don’t say similar caustic cynical things, then I guess you don’t know politics. They do. It’s just that most of them don’t talk about it to large groups being catered by strangers, most of whom you don’t know. After all, Willard, to a high-rollin’ multi-millionaire like yourself, what would a mere $50,000 a plate mean to you? Not a whole lot. Can you even conceive of someone paying it to tape what you have to say? Can you not imagine some poor waiter might be paid a couple of thou’ to secrete a video camera in the room? You who likes to minimize risk?

Well, if you couldn’t imagine that, then you certainly don’t deserve the big chair.

Meanwhile the map that is making the rounds today and yesterday for that matter, is the one that shows just how out of touch Willard actually is. While he pans the 47% who are playing victims and can’t be convinced of logical arguments for their own good because they are never going to take responsibility for themselves, those same 47% largely reside in the states he expects to win–in other words they are his natural voters:

Which all leads me once again to conclude that Willard’s so-called brilliance as a businessman is highly overrated.