The Stupid Chronicles for April 20, 2013

Gohmert_Louis-Dummy-2Oh don’t mind me, I’m just acting like a Hispanic. Yes dear Louis the Lunatic tops our list today. But it was a close call I tell ya. Louis never fails to deliver the one two punch of stupid all wrapped up in crazy nearly every week. We sometimes wonder if Louis has a bank of writers who dream up his lines, but on reflection that would surely tip the balance and throw civilization into a retrograde orbit.

Louis dear Louis has a gem for us today. Let me put it thusly. Louis viewed Rodin’s the Thinker, and opined, “why is that dude taking a shit in public?”

Louis doesn’t have a pet rock, he’s the pet rock’s pet.

Louis knows his terrorists and he is here to tell you what he has learned. Islamic terrorist organizations are busy helping their Arab folks “act Hispanic” so they can cross the border from Mexico into America. (added joy: there is a video!)

Yes you heard it here.

Although Louis had no opinion of who caused the Boston Marathon bombings at the time he said this, he was pretty darn sure that a fence is the way to go. After all, Israel’s suicide bombings stopped when they built their fence, he offered, unaware that that is not at all true. A good guess is always good enough for Louis.

Compatriot idiot Steve King (R-IA) nodded in agreement and said that the immigration reform bill should be held up, because surely this bombing was caused (he thinks) by some student on a visa.

Louis offered no ideas about how one “acts” Hispanic. Several racist theories comes to mind, but Louis stopped short of asking people to be on the watch for the “typical” Hispanic behaviors. He did whisper that a dead giveaway that you were dealing with a “pretend” Hispanic was to offer him a jalapeño pepper and see if he cries out in anguish and calls for water after taking a bite.

Texas takes our number two spot as well, which isn’t a big surprise–it’s a big state with big idiots in it.

esther-irene-stokes-400x300This is Ms. Ester Irene Stokes. She’s a school teacher in Texas. Or was, or confound it, she probably got herself a medal now.

Anyway, she was accused of fondling one of her female students. Now Ms. Stokes is 61 and the child in question was seven. So that is very bad stuff.

So Ms. Stokes tells police and anyone else who will listen that she is not guilty.

You probably assumed that didn’t ya?

Yes, well she has a rather unique defense.

She says that she is such a racist that she can barely stand to touch those little black girls in her class. The mere touch of their hands gives her the heebie jeebies and sends her off to wash off that black skin feel. I mean she actually cringes when the little nappy heads try to hug here, which must happen once every ice age at least.

There have been no responses by the school in question as to whether Ms. Stokes was still employed. What ya wanna make a bet she won’t have any trouble finding another job in some parts of the country at least.

No doubt that face will be forever seared in your brain.

Third on our hit parade for the week is Maine’s governor Paul LaPage.

getting-to-know-paul-lapageNow Paulie has come to our attention before as you can note from some of his best work at the right.

But he kinda ran out of material for a little while. After the last couple of days though, I think he’s back in fighting form.

The Bangor News seems to have a particularly low opinion in the Guv, suggesting that he “makes things up” a lot.

Well, Paul is at it again. Paul doesn’t like wind power. He thinks it’s somehow un-American, being all cheap and non-polluting and such. Oil and Gas don’t like air power and that’s enough for big Paul.

So Paul said, “Now, to add insult to injury, The University of Maine, Presque Isle – anybody here been up there to see that damn windmill in the back yard? Guess what, if it’s not blowing wind outside and they have somebody visiting the campus, they have a little electric motor that turns the blades. I’m serious. They have an electric motor so that they can show people wind power works. Unbelievable. And that’s the government that you have here in the state of Maine.”

Of course, no such thing is true. The University says there is no “little motor”.

All this would be funny, and it is, but the answer to Paulie’s nonsense is that he’s touched in the head. Read crazy as a loon. Read, coming up on Louis’s shoulder and threatening to pass.

Paulie intends to run for re-election. He predicts that the teacher’s unions better watch out, cuz he’s coming for them. And his new idol? Well that ever-favorite of Wisconsin, Scott Walker.

“I will guarantee you that you will see the most vicious education campaign ads that you’ve ever seen in your life next year, because I am going to be the next Scott Walker in this country, because I am challenging the status quo.”

No, Paulie is challenging the all-time low IQ in the USA. I am putting my bets he will win.

Fourth is a new face for us, GOP House Representative from Iowa, Dennis Guth.

guth-e1366222435292Guth is one of those self-styled experts on the issue of homosexuality.

Guth first focused on the media and accused them of making that homosexual lifestyle seem good and nice, when we all know it’s really yucky.

See, Guth says, homosexuals are like “second-hand” smoke, they cause harm to those around them who are normal. They cause health risks to his family he says, by their increased invitation to transmittable sexual diseases. He opines that there are “more medical tests required” before you can give blood or birth. He thinks they are connected but forgot to say how.

Other than that, Guth was unable to explain why their diseases would “harm” his family, unless of course one posits that either he or members of his family regularly engage the services of willing homosexuals for ummm, sex.

Guth is an idiot, and his Democratic colleague told him so.

Our fifth and last entry for the week comes from good old Arkansas, a state that often shows us the butt end of humanity.

NateNate Bell, is (you guessed it) a REPUBLICAN state rep from good old Ar-KANSAS, who is a protector of the 2nd Amendment, which he neither understands, nor defends with anything other than yippie-ki-yo-ki-yay blather.

Well, inside that fun face is a very human and very empathetic individual. So as soon as he heard about the manhunt going on in Boston and its environs, wondered via Twitter:

I wonder how many Boston liberals spent the night cowering in their homes wishing they had an AR-15 with a high-capacity magazine?

I mean how sympathetic can a guy be?

I mean really?

Nate withdrew the Tweet once it was pointed out to him that he was being a total douche. Of course it was up long enough for a long list of people to tell him that.

Good luck Nate on re-election.

And if you have not run into these videos (YouTube has several by the same guy), then sit back and for a couple of minutes, just chortle your little heart out. Dry up your tears at the above and replace with belly laughs.

 

A Rolling Stone Gathers Whatever Is In Its Way

boehner-orangeSir Boehner of Orange is not a man who is cozy with the truth. He, like so many of his cohorts, believe it is a most malleable thing to be twisted and pulled into whatever shape is necessary to feed the agenda they are pushing at any given time.

As most of us know, the sequester is looming on the horizon, and the GOP chatter seems as usual to ignore facts and create a new reality as needed. Thus the sequester is the “president’s idea” as if he designed it as the solution to our fiscal ills.

The Grand Bargain that Boehner continues to claim fell through because the President “changed” the offer at the last minute, is a total lie. In fact Boehner made the deal only to discover that he could not control the crazy element in his own caucus. Because of the Hastert Rule (thou shalt not bring to the floor a bill not already approved by a majority of your party), Boehner knew the deal could only pass with Democratic help. That he was not prepared to do, so he created the myth that the President changed the offer.

Given that time was short and the GOP was threatening to destroy the economy unless they got their way, the President proposed a draconian alternative that would come into play in six months. This was supposed to ensure that a meaningful debate and agreement would ensue to avoid the awfulness of the sequester. The President originally offered a 50/50 deal–there would be a sequester that consisted of half tax increases and half budget cuts. Boehner refused that deal and insisted that all be cuts.

Moreover, at the conclusion of the sequester deal, Boehner bragged to the press and anyone else that would listen that he had gotten “98% of everything he had been asking for” so he declared himself and his Party the winner.

Those are the real facts.

What the GOP continues to miss here, is that we are not so gullible nor so stupid that we don’t know these facts. So, his little attempt to hijack the truth in favor of his new reality only elicits nods and uhuh’s from his own stupid base. The rest of America sees it for the series of lies it is, and of course, realizes that the GOP is still the party that protects corporate interests to the detriment of the rest of us.

No lessons yet learned. The GOP continues to wallow in the mire of lies. It will remain a party that can’t win the big one. It will continue to try to figure out ways to steal elections. It will continue to be the best comedy routine in town.

You have heard no doubt that the President is heading to Israel? And when he is there, he’s going to get a Presidential Medal of Distinction. And the Right wing reactionaries are livid. They just cannot understand why the vast majority of us cannot see that this man is a horrid, vile, Commie, Islamic lovin’ Israel hater. I mean they cannot fathom this as it is SO obvious that he has a “visceral hostility toward Israel.”

Their answer is of course that the person giving him the medal, Israeli President Shimon Peres, is just a figurehead, who is not liked by most of the population.

It makes me laugh. And then I read their shock and dismay again, and I laugh a bit louder and longer.

The circus continues.

I do so appreciate a Republican who wants to help the poor. Jeff Sessions is ready to do just that. His method? Cut welfare of course. I mean really, it just breeds dependency doesn’t it? At least that’s what Newt said back in the 90′s when he pushed through the welfare reforms that resulted in tens of thousands losing their benefits. (hint: you might find some of these folks among the homeless today.)

Anyway, Sessions is bristling at the idea that the GOP is being called the party of the rich. And in a memorandum, he made it clear that they shouldn’t tie this deep desire to help out our poor by tying it to deficit reduction–that looks bad. Instead cuts in food stamps and such should be tied to helping business get healthy so those jobs become available. As everyone knows giving stuff to the poor just breeds more grabby people. Everyone knows that.

Boy, I feel ever so much better knowing the GOP really has a heart.

If you have been wondering why the price of gas has gone up sharply, well, yes you guessed it, you can blame the neo-cons. They pushed sanctions against Iranian oil, making Europe and others refuse to buy any. The neo-cons were sure of course (they always are) that this would not impact American prices.

They were also sure that Saudi Arabia would pick up the slack. (That now seems unlikely).

West Texas oil is selling at $100 a barrel, which is not good either.

All this causes prices to rise (and Iran gets the benefit of that for what oil it does sell).

Thank your nearest Republican today!

Where’s My Fire Extinguisher?

war-on-women-in-one-graphic-fullIt really strikes one as insane, except to the insane I guess. And the GOP is home to a whole lota insane. After taking a drubbing in 2012, you’d think they would be about figuring out how to appeal to the groups they lost badly to, LIKE WOMEN!

No, instead, they are still doing the big daddy shuffle–no no missy, you just don’t trouble you pretty little head darlin’, I’ll do what’s best for you.

And they are, to the tune of moving all in in their war against Planned Parenthood. In good old Wisconsin, home of the Koch-addicted Governor Walker, has just managed to cut funding for PPH by a whopping one million, forcing them to close four clinics in rural areas.

Upwards of 2,000 women will lose the only health care they have.

All in the name of preventing PPH from its abortion agenda–which accounts for a mere 3% of its business.

But big daddy knows best.

I would like to kick big daddy in the balls. Actually, that’s a great idea, and a great contraceptive method. More women need to do it to Republican legislators around the country who think they know best when it comes to women’s health. . .or lack of it.

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I spent considerable time and precious time (for my time is quite valuable) yesterday trying to rid Firefox of its pop-up problem. And it is their problem, most of the windows are Mozilla creations. They can’t fix their own stuff, so I downloaded some malware fixes and that didn’t work either. So I have transferred most operations to Explorer (finding Chrome very ugly to work with) and figure to dump Firefox. I assume the dang program is corrupted. If anybody knows an easy way to transfer “favorites” I’d be appreciative. I have so far not figured that baby out.

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I was mildly intrigued some time ago when I heard of the paleo diet. The Contrarian often regales me the fact that he “drinks” anthropologically–with great draughts of liquid much as our ancestors did at the old drinkin’ hole. One needed to get in and out quick before some saber tooth came along and made you his midnight snack. But I’ve never had a satisfactory explanation of why grains were not allowed since grains were certainly available to paleolithic people in the form of wild rice and wheat.

There is a movement about that suggests that we are evolutionarily speaking still more cave-lady than 5th Avenue in terms of our genetics, and this mismatch of cave and five-inch heels is the source of much of our unhealth today. It sounds right, but is it? Some call it the paleofantasy. If you’re intrigued too, then read more about it here. Common sense conclusions are very often wrong. Were we every “perfectly” adapted to our environment?

If you don’t believe in evolution, then ignore the above, and just ask “what would Noah do?” AND BITE ME!

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Do you have a list of books you are “going to read?”  I don’t mean the stack next to your chair which you can’t wait to get to. I’m talking about the books that make you feel guilty because you know you should have read them, yet you just can’t get past the first ten pages without wanting to tear out your hair. Do you keep saying one day you WILL read James Joyce? How about Proust?

Anyway, I was just wondering if there are others out there like me. Do you die in guilt? Or are you doing anything about it?

I’m nosy like that. Probing through the folds of other people’s grey matter.

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Speaking of probing brain matter. Let me ask you this? No not, you dear reader, you are sane. I’m talking to stupid in the back. Come on UP stupid.

I have a question for you. Do stupid people actively sit around thinking up stupid things, or do stupid thoughts just fall into your head and stick there until you are forced to expel them verbally?

Missouri seems to have a virus floating around of stupid.

A GOP’er (aren’t they always) has introduced a bill in the state legislature (perhaps it’s really the state day-care center for the mentally infirm), that would make it a FELONY to propose any law that would in any way restrict the rights of gun owners under the 2nd Amendment.

Yes, it’s now illegal to make constitutional laws.

Or it would be.

If there are enough stupid to match the gargantuan stupid of Mikey Leara.

Can anybody top that?

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Not to be outdone, just out stupided, is Kansas, dear old Kansas or KANS ASS as you might wish to think of it.

It seems there, that the GOPer’s are busy introducing bills that would require that teachers teach falsehood–namely that there is some scientific controversy about the existence of man-made climate change.

Yessiree Bob, we got us some climate deniers here, and they have adopted the ALEC-supplied legislation and introduced it.

So, who will win? Missouri or Kansas?

Don’t you Texans feel just a might better now?

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Saw the last show of the season for Downton Abbey last night. All I can say is bummer, dude. And I’m pretty darn good at spotting things ahead of time. That carefree driving down a country road happy as a lark? It’s the harbinger of death. Always is. Now the long wait until the next season.

Oh I forgot. Liberals are supposed to hate Downton. For it’s classism no doubt. What a crock of poo.

We Shoulda Lost The Civil War

Take Alabama and Mississippi.

No seriously, take them.

Okay, that was a cheap shot. Henny Youngman of me.

But seriously, really seriously.

In Alabama, 45% of polled citizens says that the President is a Muslim. An additional 41% are “unsure. In Mississippi, it’s 52% and 36%. In other words nearly 90% of these folks are either unsure or are sure he ain’t no Christian.

In both states, something like only 25% or less believe in evolution as a true theory of how they came to be standing where they are.

Is it the water? Or does dullness naturally sink to the bottom of the continent? I mean, you could find a smarter bunch of people in the Amazon rain forest making poisonous arrows to kill monkeys for stew. Seriously.

They are the national poster states for dumb and dumber. This is down right embarrassing. A Parisian could do a better job of taking a civics test than the average Alabama/Mississippi resident.

THEY ARE VOTING TODAY TO PICK A GOP CANDIDATE.

Does that make a chill run down your back? They are allowed to vote! Talk about your voter fraud. They are walking cases for people pretending to be citizens. My dog could make a more salient choice.

I do believe that both states require mandatory chip identification just so when they get lost, as they often must, they can be sent back to the right home. “Where do you live son?” “I dunno sir, but I think it has a lot of a’s or i’s in it.”

I mean seriously.

It appears that Mikey the Huck is gonna go up against the Rushmore on the radio waves. Good news? Only marginally so. The Huckster has long ago given up any claim to be a nice Christian pastor with soothing sweet uplifting warbles of pleasantry. The Huckster, if you been a watching is urging everyone to sign on the “kill Obamacare” an ad fraught with lies and evil innuendo. In addition, he not all that long ago called the President a Kenyan, returned us to “death panels”, used the  now de rigueur Nazi allusions to all things Obama, and claims Ted Kennedy would have “committed suicide” had he lived to see the Health Care Law. Greed, greed, greed, what it does to people.

The stupid brigade (i.e., GOP House) is gearing up with a new budget. More of the same according to Politico. More money for rich folks and more gutting of medicare. Meanwhile, Willard continues to lie about the President’s record, and then turn around and lie about his own. He’s the one who would destroy Medicare as we know it, and we know he knows it. Trouble is nobody is calling him on it. Except that he doesn’t make himself available to the press, ala Ms Palin. Too many gaffes ya know.

Like this one. Willard need to button up the lip, zip the old zipper when the issue of sports comes along. Unless they are talking about “sport” that is, you know, horses and polo. Then pontificate o’ wealthy one. Otherwise, as I said, mum’s the word.

But Willard, it seems is a stubborn, and apparently rather arrogant asshat who figures, if I made all that money, I must know what I’m doing. So Mr. Bumbles calls a sports radio show in Al-err-bammy yesterday and engages in what he figures is safe territory–spoits!

Now iff’n you recalls, Mr. Bumbles talked about NASCAR just a few days ago, in which he got all perky about knowin’ the NASCAR stuff seein’ as he knew a bunch of NASCAR “team owners”. Those folks can of course be found  tailgating in the infield at the race, guzzlin’ the BUD. Right?  

And surely he was advised that such richy rich stuff was bad, and don’t do it again.

So. . . .

He’s asked about Peyton Manning, newly released Colts QB. And he says:

“I’ve got a lot of good friends, the owner of the Miami Dolphins and the New York Jets, both owners are friends of mine,” he added. “But let’s keep him away from New England.”

Yup. He said that. Yup he did.

What is it with the GOP and their hatred of public lands? The party of Teddy Roosevelt, conservationist extraordinaire, is being infested with all sorts who want to give our parks to private interests. The wealthy apparently are not wealthy enough. Willard inexplicably says that he doesn’t “know the purpose of public lands.” You don’t? I guess that is because you don’t understand things that don’t render a profit margin for your friends, Willard?

Gas prices are pissin’ off everyone. And the GOP is out to make as much of it as it can. They blame it on the President. We knew they would. Except that economists and oil experts tell you the President can’t do diddly squat about gas prices for the most part. Read Ezra Klein’s report and get the low down, when your Republican friends (should you have any) start spouting about how Obama’s policies are driving up my pain at the pump. Ain’t so. Remember, Foxy Noise said that Bush couldn’t be blamed for high pump prices a few years ago. Course, they forgot that.  

Are We There Yet?

I didn’t put much credence in this at first. The Contrarian brought it to my attention as an genius evil machination of the Obama administration. But I’ve now read it other places, and well, there could be something to it. At least the timing seems fortuitous.

I mean let’s face it, before Tuesday, it was hard to find a cartoon about Ricky S. He was a non sequitur. He was old “frothy mix”, an extraordinarily rabid right-winger outlier, who like Dr. Paul, was desirous of spreading the message rather than having any grand expectations of getting a nomination.

Well, times change, and the desire to find ANYBODY GOD, JUST ANYBODY BUT MITT, has led us to Ricky. And, if you believe that Obama and his team are seriously brilliant, the contraception “issue” was dragged forth at precisely the right moment to give Ricky a platform to spew his crazy religious mantras and light a match under the mostly apathetic crazy Right.

And thus: upset the Romney apple cart once more.

Now I don’t know if that is true, or even plausible, but it sure was convenient wasn’t it? Now the two, stand poised to speak to CPAC that joyful religious/reactionary love fest being held in Washington D.C. Romney, as we know, enters with fear and loathing, for these are not his people. This is not a case of “I know my sheep and they know me.” On the other hand, Ricky enters the convention coming near to walking on water. Two more different approaches could not be found.

And you can hear the love across the conservative air waves. The pundits, pretending to be fair all the while they are not, talk about how Ricky is just being Ricky, the tried and true, never-changing, beacon of C O N S E R V A T I S M. From David Brooks to Peggy Noonan to RushiePushie, they are all looking adoringly at the new “favorite son”.

Ya just gotta wonder. How does Mitt stand it? Being so despised by so many. It’s not hatred, it’s just YUCK. It’s that creepy crawly feeling of revulsion when you hear the name, when you see the dopey pasted on grin, when you see him stand with hand on hip, trying to look casual, when you are sure that he has a butt plug lodged tightly up his ass at all times as some sort of penance for God knows what. Mitt may just not make it folks. Money is still favoring him, but heck, Ricky has dealt a pretty nasty blow with virtually none.

There is a rather long but very well done analysis of Obama and his Presidency to-date from James Fallows. He’s got some decent credibility and the piece is largely devoid of partisanship. I saw him interviewed last night, and I was impressed. He points out Obama’s strengths and weaknesses, I think fairly. You may not agree with all he says, and I didn’t, but I also thought it was well done.

Wisconsin voters can feel secure that when they vote to boot out Walker this year, they are making a sound decision. As most of you have no doubt heard, the banks are paying out several billions of bucks in wrongful foreclosures. The monies are going to the states, as the result of the actions of 48 State’s Attorney’s General actions. Well, dear old hard-heart, is taking 25 million of their settlement (of a 140 million total) and applying it to the state budget deficit rather than give it to the afflicted homeowners.

I guess he figures it will be a better argument to claim he’s “balanced the budget” instead of helping out homeowners.

He’s a turd. I bet him and Karl float around in the same toilet.

Well, it’s harsh, but I’ll say it. I agree. Under the LobsterScope points out that the moral outrage of the Roman Catholic Church is a fine diversion from its perennial moral deficit–the child abuse problem that won’t go away. The reason it won’t go away? Because the Church continues to try to sweep it under the rug as best it can, although the lump in the rug is so damn big, everybody notices. (My rant). And they talk about the immorality of contraception!

And while we are at it, where is their moral outrage when African women contract AIDs because they are not allowed to use condoms and their infected husbands turn a deaf ear to their pleas for continence. (My rant ended).

Ricky, giddy with new-found appeal, is as anyone would know, already steppin’ in it. He’s so far said we are on the road to the apocalypse, compared the Obama-led America to France heading to the guillotine, suggested that Obama would force the Roman Catholic Church to hire women priests, reminded us that global warming is a hoax, suggested that Obama has a “wink, wink, nod, nod” relationship with Iran’s nuclear desires in return for getting some oil, claims that the recession was caused by high gas prices, and now suggests that women shouldn’t be in combat because of “other types of emotions.”

Oh yeah, bring on the Rickster! Heck Obama can stay home and play hoops.

And They Don’t Even Know They are Crazy

Imagine what THAT must be like? Being crazy as the proverbial loon, and having nary a clue.

I feel, in the name of good consciousness, I should have to tell ‘em. I really do. It’s a moral thing. A person has a right to know they are not playing with a full deck.

Case in point.

Bryan Fischer, that homophobic/Islamophobic, all around provider of hate. He’s crazy. Batshit, Wonka, nutzo, drooling and showing us his nasty privates kinda crazy.

You don’t believe me?

Well, okay, I’ll prove it to ya.

In his radio broadcast of only yesterday, picklebrain Bryan talked about a Pew poll that said that half of all Muslims think of themselves as Muslim first and Americans second. Being no dummy in his empty skull, he fully admitted that Christians pretty much do the same thing, think of themselves as Christian first and Americans second.

Okay.

But when you are crazy as a 42-year-old male in Louisiana claiming that he is Napoleon Bonaparte returned from the dead, well then that gets interpreted this way:

 It’s not a problem when a Christian says that. For the Christian to say “I am a Christian first and an American second,” that’s what we all ought to say. Our ultimate allegiance is not to country, not to the Constitution, it’s to God and the Scripture. If you have to make a choice between the two, we must obey God rather than man.

But when a Christian says “I’m a Christian first and an American second,” the fact that he is a Christian first, he’s got devotion and allegiance to Jesus Christ means he’s going to be a better American. He’s going to be an asset to his country, he’s going to love his country, he’s going to become more fervent in his patriotism. His love for his country and for its traditions are going to deepen because those traditions are rooted in the soil of the Judeo-Christian tradition.

Now if you have a Muslim, on the other hand, that says that – “I am a Muslim first and an American second” – look out! Because that indicates his ultimate devotion is to the Quran, it’s to Allah, it’s to Muhammad. It’s not to Jesus Christ, it’s not to the Judeo-Christian tradition, it is not to American values and American tradition and American history and American heroes – it is to Allah and Allah tells him to slay the idolaters wherever you find them.

So the more devout a Muslim gets, the more of a threat he becomes to America’s national security.

 And that dear friends, qualifies Mr. Fischer as being crazier than 95% of the patients in Bellevue.

Case in point 2:

In 2004, Eric Cantor asked for federal funds to help his hurricane ravaged state. Some time after than, Eric (I am more important than John) Cantor, forget what little he ever knew. Sharing the common TeaNutz® drool cup, Eric the crazy CANNOT sing that tune in 2011. So it comes out, we want aid, if we can offset it with cutting something somewhere.

Cantor you can’t become Speaker that way. I think your constituency is already lookin’ about for a new representative. You’re not playing with even half a deck there Eric the Cant.

Case in point 3:

Michele Bachmann. Oh hell, why bother. She’s too obvious, and let it not be said that I have no compassion for the crazy among us. It was God. . .No it was only a joke. . .No it was God. I’m lying, or I’m not.

Case in point 4:

The TeaNutz®. They are most all of ‘em crazy as seals at a polar bear party. I mean it. And if you don’t believe me on that one, than please go read wearerespectablenegroes interview with “Whiteness.”

It will all sound so eerily familiar to ya. And you will whisper for the men in white jackets with the funny jacket that has the strings attached to the sleeves, and the refrain, “they’re coming to take me away haha, heehee, ho-ho. . .”

Case in point 5:

There is a squirrelly fellow by the name of Dr. E. Calvin Beisner, and he runs a “Christian environmental think tank”. Read anti-global warming. He claims that the folks protesting at the White House against the Canadian pipeline are “violating scripture” and are just publicity seekers.

How so you ask?

Why, scripture is quite clear:

“They profess to believe the Bible,” he points out. “Well, the Bible tells them that they’re supposed to obey the governing authorities unless those governing authorities either require them to do what God forbids or forbids them to do what God requires — and that has not happened. So they are actually disobeying scripture by doing this.”

Sumpin’ tells me that old Cal wouldn’t be singing that tune when it comes to go old “American” teabagger protestin’ now would he?

And Case in Point, 6 and last but never the least of the crazies:

The US Congress, except for a few Dems here and there:

From Joe.My.God.

First Ever (but not last) Stupido Award of the Day, Week, or Month

A few minutes in my reader each day usually leaves me foaming at the mouth at the utter idiocy that passes for lawmaking in this country. Never has a country suffered such buffoonery as we endure.

Each day I find examples on the federal and state level of excessive stupidity that somehow managed to get elected and purport to “govern” us, those they so lovingly call the American people.

They presume to know what I, (an American person) want, believe, and support. Mr. Boehner for instance tells me that I don’t want higher taxes, while Mr. Reid tells me I do. I am simultaneously for and against the debt limit being raised.

So today we have a large contingent of lawmakers, (and any others that fit the bill), all vying for your vote as the STUPIDO of the day, week, or month. (I suppose we could find a new array every hour, but that would be taxing our sanity.)

First up to bat is Joe Barton, (R-TX). This dimwit in the US House wishes to repeal the light bulb efficiency standards law enacted bipartisanly back in the times of Dubya. Contender Barton mumbles something about government over reach in interfering with states, and something unintelligible about mercury (about which he has already established a lack of credentials) in his fight to cost the taxpayers both jobs and money.

Joe Blowheart wants us to lose 12 billions in energy savings, so he can poke a stick at somebody (presumably Democrats). By the way, the manufacturing industry approves wholeheartedly the move over to high efficiency light bulbs.

Joe Barton–a worthy candidate for the Stupido award.

P.S. Joe jackass was the one who apologized to BP for expecting them to pay for the clean-up of the Gulf oil disaster.

 Candidate number two is the dear “being gay is a choice” presidential wannabe, Michele *forget I said that* Bachmann. Michele can’t decide what is more important to the future of America–jobs and the economy, the hated “Obamacare” or as she terms it,”the most important issue facing the country in the next 30 years–gay marriage.”

While most GOPers manage to hide their delight at the stagnant economy, Michele doesn’t bother. She understands that the American people are happy remain unemployed and lose their jobs if it means that it gives her a better chance at winning the top spot.

When asked if she found it ironic that as the economy floundered her chances improved, she admitted that that might well be, “at least I hope so.

Contendah numeral three: Orin Hatch the booby from Utah says he is just really sick and tired of the poor whining about how the rich get all the breaks. Time for the poor to step up and pay their fair share of the taxes in this country.

Hatchet brain of course doesn’t know what he is talking about.

Fourth offering: NJ State Senate Prez, Stephen Sweeney. This dunderhead cut a deal with Chris Christie, the rotund and all-around arrogant bully Governor, that screwed with unions pensions and health care in the state. Sweeney thought Christie would honor their deal. But then Christie is a GOPer and Sweeney shoulda known better.

Gov Chris used his line-item veto to slash and cut Sweeney into tiny pieces, punishing every Democratic move in the budget.

So Sweeney has been calling Christie names ever since, but I suspect it won’t be enough to save him from the Democrats who were appalled at his treason. Sweeney did a deal with the devil and is shocked that the devil didn’t play fair.

Is he your choice?

So dat’s it folks. You got four choices here. Vote and tell me who should win the Stupido Award! Vote often. No ID required. Ballots will be judged on creativity! Write-ins welcome. My decision is not subject to logic.