On the Road Again

Tags

environment, faith, journeys, racism, religion

“Are you Catholic?” Alex asked. “Yeah,” I mumbled. “You know,” he added, “I grew up at St. Genevieve’s, went to school there too. But. . . .” So went another of the ever-occurring reasons for “why I don’t go to church anymore”. I can relate.

Substitute, writing for Catholic, and you have my last few weeks in a nutshell.

Confused?

Welcome to my world.

So am I.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had returned to the Church once again, seeking. . .something? Hell if I know what.

I didn’t find it. Nothing bad happened. The priest was okay as priests go. I don’t expect much.

If you don’t know what you are seeking, it’s pretty likely you won’t find it. How would you know?

Writing is just about as confusing. I’ve written a lot over the years. All sorts of writing. Big bold essays of a hundred pages, footnoted to Hades and back. Short, “reflections”. Legal arguments chock full of citation to other learned writings. Notes of books I’ve read. And then all this blogging. Years of it. thousands of posts, millions of words, ideas formed, bent, twisted, reconfigured, spit out. Arrogance, pomposity, mendacity, with a rare humble crumb offered here and about. My guts displayed for any who bothered to note it.

Do I have nothing left to say?

Perish that thought. I’d shrivel up and croke. My enemies (having enemies is a true joy if you think about it seriously) wish I would just “shut the fuck up”. That alone should spur me forward.

I start, I stop, I flounder. As good as I came, I saw, I conquered (veni, vidi, vici) doncha think?

Why are we so three oriented? Tragedies come in three, examples are most often offered in threes. Trinity? Trifecta? Triple creme? Triple crown. Banana split which has little to do with the split banana and everything to do with three scoops.

I’m reading a very intriguing book. What is God? Not Who, but What. It all stems from that flip. Turn a globe upside down and leave it like that. It will make you rethink a few things.

I’m processing faith versus religion. I’m pretty down on religion right now. Composed of fallible humans what would you expect? Is it necessary? Church votes yes. I’m pretty much votin’ no at this point.

I choose to express my faith through some rituals of this faith system. I call it Catholicism. You can call it the Whore of Babylon if you are not well educated. I don’t care. There is too much wrong to defend it. There is more right than I often admit.

I’m pretty sure that God is not what we think. But I am not at all sure. I don’t think I’m supposed to be sure. Augustine said we can only say what God isn’t. That is hardly a recipe for success.

Church is like stopping off at a rest stop. It is good to get out and stretch your legs, relieve your bladder, and munch a snack. But it’s not home. You got to get back at the grueling drive that never ends. Thinking, watching, staying awake. Driving requires concentration  if you plan to do it successfully over time. So is God-seeking.

One premise is that there is always something not quite real about reality. We sense there is more, but we can’t see it. We recognize the unreality. We have become desensitized to unreality. It passes by us with nary a nod.

A man says, “I am going to kill you because you are raping our women and taking over our country.” Another man says, “that’s hate against Christians,” (since the dead are Christians). Whose reality are we talking about?

I don’t reject the Catholic Church because of its theology. There is a Catholic Church here that is “not aligned with Rome”. They love my politics. But I don’t go and sit in the pews there. There is one of those Universalist Unitarians, or something here. There is Bahai here. I am not interested.

I plant my butt in a pew and I sit, and I wonder why I’m there. I count off the various “parts” until we get to communion and then the closing prayer, and then the closing hymn and then. I’m free again.

Why do I go?

I stopped going.

I feel something missing. Vicious and jealous mistress you faith!

Faith and religion. Two separate but unequal things. Faith matters, religion is some bonus at least once upon a time. Ever? Never? I did good once. It does good sometimes, somewhere.

The problem as always is the people. Fallible humans muck up the mud. Turn it ugly and personally motivated.  I hate welfare not because I don’t want to help the poor but because I want to decide who to give my charity to. So they say. What they mean is I can then avoid giving welfare to lazy queens and princes who lay in bed half the day before they saunter down to the welfare store and pick up their checks. As I JUDGE them anyway.

I don’t want the government to tell me how much to give. I bet ya a million bucks you couldn’t come begin to tell me how much the “government is taking out of you in taxes” to support medicaid, unemployment insurance, food stamps, and so forth. You couldn’t even give me a ball park figure of what they take. But somehow, you assure me, you would give more if it were voluntary. Yeah, sure ya would.

Religion starts off with laudable goals. Seek God. Take care of God’s people. But your old fallibility rose like the skunky smell it is, and you changed that to “God’s chosen people” however YOU JUDGMENTALLY DECIDED THAT.

I’m for Israel because they are God’s chosen, you utter with perfect surety. Bullshit.

If you believe God has favorites then you believe in an awfully wicked and strange being. One who creates so poorly that He finds one poor slob called Abram and tells him, he will “create a nation” of him. Hope he does it better than the first couple of times. Dont’ forget the whole fiasco of Noah and that damned ark that couldn’t be built large enough to begin to house “all God’s creation”.

Yet you got a passel of morons whose brains are so gucky with sludge that they gotta cling to that stuff as literal and then make it their life’s work to make you take it literally too.

And God is not in that damned Book you fool. PEOPLE wrote the book. They wrote it about the God they were seeking. Since you can’t tell me much about God on your own, why do you think they were any better at it? They’re just trying, same as you and me. Yet you kneel before the freakin’ book.

So here I sit. I read that the Pope has offered up an encyclical on the environment. As sure as it’s June and it’s hot, right wing Catholics are finally letting out what they really think. They really really don’t like this pope at all. Unlike their precious JPII and Benedict however, Francis doesn’t inherit the “God’s chosen” appellation. We don’t have to pay attention to Francis when we don’t like what he says.

“He’s not a scientist. He’s just giving his opinion on a subject that he has no expertise in.” So the upshot is to ignore what he says. He’s a dupe of some libtards in the Vatican who haven’t explained to this poor illiterate fool that words matter. “He’s a marxist, anyway.”  If you tried to continue the conversation say about women priests, they would tell you. “Pope John Paul has spoken on that issue and we will not allow further conversation because he says it is a closed issue.” Some personal opinions count. Oh yeah, the one’s you agree with.

Whose reality are we talking about?

Everywhere I go, I see the same thing. Distinctly different takes on reality. Both can’t be right. Or perhaps they can.

God is in the mysteries of life.

Oh, seeking Him there is not as easy as sittin’ in the pew. Reading and thinking and meditating, and working out the details. Only to realize that each and every insight provides fresh mystery, new questions, and potential conflicting yearnings.

Open your eyes, and your ears. But mostly open your heart. Take little if anything for granted. Seek serendipity, and sweet harmony. Enjoy the sugary taste until the bitterness creeps in. Seek further, and never stop. Ever.

That is human becoming.

I Likey, You More Better, Capisce?

Tags

Catholic Church, faith my style, Humor

When all else fails, I can always talk about myself. It’s my favorite subject after all. Okay, like three dozen people just ran off to call in this story to their editors. . . .hot off the presses, Sherry is gonna talk about herself. Cheeky? Arrogant? Full of self? Oh yeah, all that.

Who does she think she is?

I said it before. Like her, or not, there are few other alternatives. She ain’t tepid oolong or Earl Grey.

She is me, and I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that you probably got that.

I’m like a cat on a hot tin roof.

Or not. Mostly not.

If I were an animal which one would I be?

Polar bear mama?

Ponder that with your swayt tea. Yeah, we get that down here in New Mexico. I frankly hate that stuff. Sugar in tea? Are you mad?

People make me wonder. I mean take Bobby Jiggles Jindal. That man has no more chance of winning the GOP nomination than I do of winning a best in show at Madison Square Garden. Yet he twattles on.

Twattle, is a word conceived in sexual confusion. A cross between cunt and flapping lips of the face. See? Now you get it.

It’s a hell of a thing when your spiritual guru is a gang banger.

Well, not really, but sorta.

Yesterday I was a sittin’ in the pew when I noticed a young man with the usual accoutrements of style. . .ear-ring, sleeves cut out of the t-shirt. jeans, sneakers. He was sittin’ a few pews to the front of me.

Which made it convenient to watch.

So instead of concentrating on my own sinful self, I was bemused by this young man’s spiritual methodology. A very long time on the kneeler. No singing of entrance hymns. No murmuring of the “profession of faith” which is such a convoluted rattling of various Council pronunciations as to be indecipherable to all but the most religiously stringent of the faithful.

When that Gloria came along, oh good grief. It’s so badly written as to leave a normal believer astounded that given the whole of the Roman Catholic Church, no better rendition can be rendered but this? A squawky, akin to the Star Spangled Banner inability to keep the tune, sort of music that is painful to the ears and the senses.

My gangbanger, stands stoicly.

Mostly he sits with his head down, as if he’s there to beg atonement for a laundry list of crimes too numerous to mention. “Sorry God, but I shot somebody in a drive-by, and then celebrated with some blow, while threatening the mama of my baby for not having my dinner ready.” In the next breath, more sinful conduct is extruded.

Is any of this real? Oh probably not at all. The dude is probably a pediatrician, just out in his hoodie regalia which helps him calm down from the high intensity life of savior of children.

I jest?

Mostly.

It provided a handy excuse for not paying attention as Father explained all about the Holy Spirit and how we neglect it in our prayers.

Is that true for you too?

Do you pray to Jesus or the Father or the Holy Spirit? All the same yet different as they say.

Is it reasonable that Christian theology must be so convoluted? I suspect it works for theologians who like to think of themselves as pretty smart folks. And they are for the most part. Least they sound that way.

So, I’m sittin’ in the pew, figurin’ this guy is really doin’ it right. Most people don’t if you noticed. They are rushin’ around front to back, always with the obligatory bow to acknowledge that Jesus is layin’ on the altar, while we are talkin’ to our neighbor in the pew about a meat sale at the Carniceria.

So, I’m not talkin’, just praying me some Rosary until the bells ring and they remind everyone to shut the phones off. And I’m watching my mentor. I watch him with his own style of reverence, again on that kneeler when most everybody else is standing, because  the whole consecration thing is something to be knelt about.

And I wonder what the hell am I doing here?

Trying to recapture what once I had, yet which has so thoroughly departed. The devotion, the intensity, the It fuckin’ matters syndrome, it seems ephemeral after all this. Yet, I turn attention back. Jesus, I am not worthy to have you “under my roof” which is another of those John Paul/Benedict changes that is just change for change’s sake.

And he goes up for communion, but he is ahead of me, and I don’t realize until I get back to my seat, conveniently marked by my purse (what do men do to find their seat again?), that he has gone.

Guru man, you are of that ilk, (which I have never been) of those who in the confusion of people traipsing from pew to communion and back again, against the backdrop of a couple of hundred faces, working out their salvation with a wafer and sip, chooses to keep walking to the back and out the doors. Done! Got what I came for. Jesus is digesting in my belly and I’m roaring off in my Mazda to new Saturday night adventures.

I’m a bit chagrined by this turn of events. I wanted him to remain pious to the last second. Maybe be one of those stalwart types who continues laboriously to sing the closing hymn while people jostle  to get by and into the aisle, seeking the fastest route of escape past the priest who is taking a stand outside hoping to catch every last hand as it passes.

Alas, he has escaped and I’m chagrined, yet I’ve spent exactly three minutes of the sixty actually contemplating my own salvation. I don’t account all that bunk for much actually. I am, as they say, more of a Matthew 25 person. Get on with feeding the hungry and tending to the sick.

My spiritual guru seems made of common clay after all.

I sigh.

Whatever I’m here for, I seem to find. Not sure what exactly that is. But I feel better about everything somehow.

I don’t find it makes me kinder to stupid drivers though. I still yell at them from the safety of my car seat, taking satisfaction in the fact that I’m not stellar driver, but I am damn well better than that!

And I put it all aside, as I do every Saturday evening. Done! Mass obligation met. No need to think about that until next Saturday.

Which reminds me of the old guy at the pool, who apologized so deeply and long for not being able to sign my petition to open the pool at 8 because as he said, he could never come early, since he’s at Mass every morning. Alex, who recites the Rosary while he walks the water channel, did sign. No morning mass for him.

Too much piety for me. Except when I was in formation to be a nun.

Oh that’s news to you?

Fancy that. I prolly should yak about that sometime.

But not today. I don’t like to brag, unless I have a captive audience. God I know, I’m such a bitch. Which makes you even madder doesn’t it?

Remember this: happiness is the best revenge.

We participate occasionally and poorly in SoCS.

 

 

It Must be My Fault, For She is Without Fault

Tags

gorgeous men, MLK, patriarchy, stupid men

For those following Downton Abbey, these words were uttered by Mr. Bates, valet to Lord Crawley about his wife Anna who has suddenly turned cold to him. Anna was raped by a visiting valet to another Lord, and is sure Mr. Bates would kill the man and be executed by the Crown, thus she refuses to divulge her secret, but now considers herself unworthy of her husband’s affections.

When Lord Crawley senses some sadness in Mr. Bates, he inquires if all is right in his marriage, to which Mr. Bates replies that it is not, but that he has no clue what he has done wrong. Crawley suggests perhaps it is not his fault to which Bates replies, “It must be my fault, for she is without fault.”

I think that’s the truth. Women are without fault.

Men should realize that. It would make the world a happier place.

Which all goes to say that I find men strange at times. Especially those who cling to patriarchal notions that women should behave in a certain way, normally so as not to impinge on the superior notions that some men have of themselves. You know the type, men who snicker with each other about who has the best “trophy” and brag about their wives “still looking as young as they day we married” rather than bragging of her talents in her profession or hobby or so forth.

As a woman who practiced in a field still tilted toward maleness, I’m only too aware of being told I was “pushy”, “opinionated”, a “ball-buster” and so forth over the years, usually by men who had lost an argument to me or were in that process. I’ve become adept at spotting these types and avoid them as soon as I do so. This recently led to the he-man in question accounting himself the “winner” of a debate that never began, because my refusal to participate could surely only mean that I had no argument to make that I could back up with facts. They call it shooting blanks I believe.

Such men try to set the parameters of a debate at the start to favor their “evidence”. In this case, a self-proclaimed atheist demanded that there could be no evidence of the death of Jesus outside of the actual words of the Bible, a book, I might add, that he suggested could be understood by the most basic average intellect. He claimed as his background, “study in philosophy and linguistics” although his Facebook page turned out to admit that he was “self-taught” because formal education was nothing but “brainwashing”.  I refused to participate.  He shall continue to believe that Jesus was murdered by the Jews, and I shall continue to know better. He will continue to believe that I am “a con, a humorless bully who talks much and proves nothing”, and I will continue to yawn at silly men who flex muscles in the hopes that this will substitute for a brain.

Speaking of brains, most of the extreme Right is still without one functioning one. Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, should you have forgotten.

The picture at the right is one of my favorite, and a larger version of it hung in the courtroom of a dear judge and even dearer friend of mine from Detroit.

As you probably know,  the Extreme Right is fond of re-writing history to conform to their notions of freedom and so forth. Given their lily-white composition, they are always searching for suitable Negroes to deflect the charge that they are what they are: seriously infested with a multitude of racists.

They find a few here and there, men and women who wish to shortcut the climb to national importance by becoming the trained monkey for the Extreme Right. They do and say the right things, as the Master expects, all to gain that fame and hopefully fortune that they don’t wish to really work hard for legitimately.

That is bad enough, but when they attempt to take as their own a hero of the Left, well, it is absurd and well, downright immoral.

The litany as regards MLK, from the crazy Right’s point of view is that MLK was a Republican. Period. Yes, they think that says it all. They of course do point out, rather self-importantly, that the Dixiecrats were the ones who opposed civil rights. As a second offering, they regurgitate about the only phrase they have been taught: “Someday all God’s children will be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

And as we all know, good character is not dwelling on that past in which white people lynched black people, and it certainly doesn’t remind people that racism is still rather rampant in America today.

Of course they never learned neglect to remember that King died while marching with union members demanding fair wages and working conditions, and that he often spoke of the inequality in the distribution of income in this country, both of which are anathema to the average tea-guzzler. And of course they conveniently forget that all those Dixiecrats, after the passage of the Civil Rights Acts of the mid 60’s, all did what they said they would never do, they voted Republican and then (shock and horror) BECAME Republicans, as the only party in the South who was sympathetic to their “whites only” melancholia.

And if you would like to take a trip down memory lane with REAL facts, read this history lesson from Salon which takes us along that dark road of “how do we stop this crap from happening to our lily-white land?”

And as much as I love Las Cruces, it is not a hot bed of liberality regarding the Catholic Church. Our own Cathedral church, Immaculate Heart of Mary, just saw fit through Father Bill to fire the pianist who had first of all the audacity to be gay, but second to marry legally in the state of New Mexico. Father Bill operates not in the spirit of our new Pope Francis it seems, and that sickens me, and makes me quite ashamed. And I do believe that the Church would do things much differently regarding this and other “sex” issues, were more women involved in running things.

So, that about sums up my week of thoughts. Except that thug-bully Chris Christie may be getting what is due him, and that’s all good.

And if it seems that I’m down on men in this post, well, you would be right, except for the Contrarian who continues to be the best husband/person I know, and Johnny Depp who continues to be the best eye candy ever invented by a loving God.

And so it goes.

 

The World Is Just Plain Weird

Tags

2nd Amendment, blogging, Corptocracy, GOP, gun legislation, Politics

I had gotten, finally to that happy place. The place where I no longer obsessed about how many people were visiting my blog every day. I was content, having found my place.

Yeah, well that good time feeling didn’t last for long. There has been a significant drop in the last two or three months which is startling and inexplicable. It’s dropped by half at least, and that while subscriptions to this blog have steadily increased.

I have no idea what it means. Did I say something offensive? I surely meant to, but gosh, you don’t have to be so harsh. Wait, I’m talking to people who are still reading so that won’t do any good. How do I reach out to all the unknowns who have found a happier place to tuck into the news and explain that I’m only trying to offend nearly everyone and no one singularly?

To top this off, if you have Google reader you were met with the announcement out of the clear blue sky they are not shutting down their reader. Now I live by mine. I do. I mean dang, can’t you leave shit alone? I have enough on my plate most days without now having to do all that transfery stuff of which I am not all that good. Is there no God?

Speaking of which, God chose his earthly successor yesterday in the guise of one Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Archbishop of Buenos Aires. now known as Pope Francis I. Lots of nice things are being said about him, and I’m sure he is a fine fellow. He has lived out the preferential preference for the poor that the liberation theologists have called as the Church’s primary mission, while at the same time decrying the Marxist influence that permeates some of the that same rhetoric. He is a Jesuit, while at the same time decrying their more liberal and progressive leanings. He is a traditionalist when it comes to the Church’s teachings on social issues relating to sexual matters. He is a prayerful humble individual who decries the pomp and ceremony and trappings of office, preferring a small apartment and taking public transportation back and forth to work.

It is of course utterly unclear how all this will play out in the coming months and years. I remain realistic but hopeful that  something new is afoot, and trust that the Holy Spirit, may have rushed in once again to save this wonderful institution from itself. It usually does.

If there was any doubt that the bought-and-paid for jackasses called the GOP in Congress cares not one whit about the public sentiments no matter how overwhelming they are, one need only look at the bill that passed in Congress the other day relating to background checks for gun purchasers.

While a healthy 91% of all citizens across the land, and 76% of all NRA members favor such minimum legislation, the Senate GOP could not manage to screw up the most minimum of guts to vote yes. Not a SINGLE GOP member of the Senate voted yes. I mean even Susan Collins voted no. I mean have you people NO SHAME AT ALL? I really do think we would be better off; if at a minimum, Senate chairs in the chamber were required to carry the logos of those corporate interests who have bought these people and OWN them.

If you are worried that our political system is in danger of being subverted by corporate interests to the point of being the actual POLITICAL POWER in American, now would be the time to decide what you are going to do about it. Time is short I fear before “we the people” is nothing more than a quaint historical blip on the books. Since they already write all the “regulatory laws” that apply to them as it is, and own the SCOTUS by a vote of nearly 5 on most any issue, what the hell left is there for them to grab?

Stay tuned for the inevitable change in the national anthem.

Oh, say can you see, by the dawns early light,

what so proudly we hailed at the twilights last gleaming.

Whose bright office buildings, and nifty logos, through the perilous fight,

O’er the fences we watched were so neoned gleaming,

And the stock market’s big bull, profits shot through the roof,

gave proof through the night, that our CEO’s were still there.

Oh say does that mega corporation yet stand,

O’er the land of the poor and the home of the privileged.

 

Get your copy, no doubt you will soon be forced to sing it every morning before the work bell rings. That goes for retirees, because there will be no rest for the weary in the poor house, just a faint, “can I have more please, sir” in the soup line.

Just Send Them to a Psychiatrist

Tags

budget, cartoons, Catholic Church, China, Congress, espionage, GOP, gun control, Humor, immigration, NRA, religion, teabaggers

I finally figured it out. How stupid of me not to have seen it before. Nobody beats their head against a wall forever. The outcome does not change.

It is apparent that the GOP is suffering from a bad case of masochism. I mean a really severe case of it. I mean let me explain it by way of a baby.

Okay, you hold an animal cracker in front of an infant, and they will reach for it. You hold out four animal crackers and they will drop the one and grab for the four. Then hold out one, and they will drop the four and grab for the one. They don’t differentiate because they don’t know the concept of quantity yet.

Now the GOP sorta like this. You dangle a few teabibbers in front of them, and they will drop a legion of regular fiscal conservatives. They can’t seem to get the idea of counting. They give up the vast middle because the fraction dances a jig in front of them and threatens to go (where exactly?).

I think they get a perverse sexual kick out of it. Just a theory mind you. But you explain why they can’t let go of the crazies in favor of a really much larger middle.

The Chinese are busy stealing our intellectual property.

That used to be done by stealth by men and women sneaking into offices and jimming safes and taking pictures of formulas.

Cloak and dagger stuff. Something you could at least applaud for the sheer audacity of it.

Now? It’s all done thousands of miles away by geeky types with lips smeared with pizza sauce and button-down plaid shirts and cheap sneakers.

I am very sure that if you go to that building in Shanghai where the special section of the Chinese army is busy breaking into computers all over our land, that is what you will find.

I think we should shame them. I mean, “hey Chinese government, can’t you think up these things yourself? Are you so pathetic in intellect that you have to steal it? So much  for your much touted smarts!”

After all, it worked so well with Japan and South Korea.

It must be something in the rice that makes these folks so wily when it comes to cheating. Or again, it may speak to just how smart they really are.

In any event, we are getting screwed.

The GOP are messing up the immigration thing.

There is no way out for them.

Even if the “calmer” heads in the GOP (stop laughing!) prevail, do you think that the Latino population is going to forget the fight within the party?

When folks are talking about keeping them in guest worker mode forever as a way to insure cheap labor for the “dirty” jobs, well, I think you have already lost the battle no matter what the final outcome.

Perhaps the GOP needs a lesson in “shut the f**k up” when it comes to talking outside of very very closed doors.

It’s that masochism thing again I think.

It is lost on no one, that anything the President proposes, is “dead on arrival”. They actually use those very words.

So if the President proposes  some ideas on immigration, they call it “interference” and “political posturing”. If he leaves Congress alone, they call it
“unengaged” and “not leading.”

They also think we are too dumb to catch on.

They always think we don’t see the truth.

But to be fair, when you have been divorced from the truth as long as they have on almost everything, it’s probably pretty hard to know fact from fiction.

And they are still using the old Rovian playbook which states on page one: If you say a thing again and again, sooner or later, it will be taken as true.”

Of course that is only true if you keep a straight face and are talking to a Teabibber. Actually with a Teabibber, you don’t need the straight face. They are so wrapped in their own little alternative reality that the won’t know the difference.

Lord, things are getting wicked in the Vatican.

Now they are talking about a secret study that shows that the Curia is just chock full of backbiting intrigue, jockeying for power, and *gasp* homosexual liaisons.

Sounds like your average government to me.

Sounds like Benedict has buyers remorse.

Sounds like the Catholic Church is in for a very bumpy ride.

I sigh a lot. I’d even consider going back to the Episcopals, but here in my town, there are no liberal Episcopals only the conservative Anglicans.

It’s just about enough to make a person give up organized religion and just steer an independent spiritual ship. I’m sure Jesus gets tired too.

Once upon a time it used to be pretty easy to tell who was crazier.

Kim Dong Un, like his crazy daddy, Kim Jong Il, were just about the craziest of the loons on the globe.

But America does like to be first.

And we have been running that race into the ground lately.

I mean, like I said, it’s darn near impossible to pick a jackass of the week in Amerika any more.

There are people just standing in line for the honor of being named to that lofty pedestal.

A perennial finalist every week is Wayne La Pee Pee Pierre.

But I’m pretty convinced I’m gonna live long enough to see him placed in a lock box and buried. Better yet, he can be chopped up and put in the nose cone of every nuclear device we have. I bet he would like that.

Gimme What I Want! Just Give Me A Second to Decide What That Is!

Tags

Arizona, Catholicism, GOP, gun control, Health care, Lindsey Graham, NRA, teabaggers, Virginia

Lindsey Graham Flings his poo

Yes, our little Lord Fauntleroy is having another tantrum. Lindsey has apparently missed the fact that (a) the election is over and his side lost and (b) the tea baggers are not sophisticated to understand that he is no longer a MODERATE and is one of them, (at least until his next election). He continues to wring his hands with plenty of “oh what to do, what to do” as his hankie waves desperately.

Usually it’s enough that Johnny S tells him what to do and Lindsey dutifully says, “yes Johnny boy, whatever you say, oh you cute old grumpy drawers,” but as they say, fear is a powerful thing. Faced with the serious threat of being “primaried” Lindsey has looked down and started to see a Johnson actually peeping out of his nether regions. It may be a tiny Johnson, but according to the pictures he’s seen (on THOSE sites on the Intertubes), he’s pretty sure it’s  a real Johnson all right.

And well, he is in a full-blown episode of the vapors. “Lawdy, lawdy, what ever shall I do without that fine old office to nap in on the Hill?” What would Truman Capote do at a time like this? Write a book?

Anyway, dear old Lindsey is threatening to hold up the nominations of EVERYBODY until he gets his way. After all, he’s can’t come up with anything else to raise cain about since nobody has yet called for him to come down and ride the Queen’s float in the Mardi Gras festivities. It is apparently also insufficient that Lindsey has been named as the proof positive that Darwin was wrong. The Smithsonian has promised his brain front and center status at his demise, or sooner since he has little use for it anyway.

In the end, we see, Republicans are in such a feeding frenzy of their own, that all good people globally need only sit back and watch the festivities. Popcorn anyone?

Φ

Meanwhile, over in the United State of Zooniville (once referred to as Arizona), the good Sheriff of Stupidham, Joe Arpaio, who arms anybody who shows up and calls them “volunteer deputies”, has set aside the important business of birther investigation (well he MIGHT try for a third term ya know), and has taken up the cause of “protectin’ the lit’lins in our scools”. Yes, none other than ACTOR Steven Segal, ACTOR if I forgot to mention, has been called upon  to LEARN the gun-happy volunteers how to strap on up, and catch them some crazy. Maricopa county, Zooniville now has some 3,500 of these folks, loaded with clips and weaponry sneakin’ around every public place, demanding “lemme see your hands! On your knees! Spread ’em”.

If you contemplate a vacation in the area?

NO!

Darwin you LIAR!

Φ

The NRA may be one of the greater collections of sub-human examples of what Darwin got wrong. Beyond La Pee Pee Pierre, there is this delightful jackass who spoke at the NRA Wisconsin State Convention, one Bob Welch.

Welch is mighty darn sure that there will be no gun legislation of any kind, because of course, that can’t happen until it’s okayed by them, and they are not okaying a damn thing except more rhetoric that you all better keep buying every gun in sight, cuz, well, you know why.

We have a strong agenda coming up for next year, but of course a lot of that’s going to be delayed as the “Connecticut effect” has to go through the process. […] What’s even more telling is the people who don’t like guns pretty much realize that they can’t do a thing unless they talk to us. After Connecticut I had one of the leading Democrats in the legislature—he was with us most of the time, not all the time—he came to me and said, “Bob, I got all these people in my caucus that really want to ban guns and do all this bad stuff, we gotta give them something. How about we close this gun show loophole? Wouldn’t that be good?” And I said, “no, we’re not going to do that.” And so far, nothing’s happened on that.

Connecticut effect huh? Human’s call it GRIEF you sick bastard.

And guess what?

And in 1999, you blowheads were ADVOCATING complete and full background checks.

Tell us again that this is not about your conspiracy-under-every-bed ideas that the Black guy in the White House is gonna declare himself king and take away all your guns? Tell us that, huh?

Go do that impossible thing to yourself will ya?

Φ

While we have plenty of examples of private industry attempting to lower the number of hours worked by their employees to under 30 hours so that they can avoid providing health care (Applebees, Olive Garden, etc), the state of Virginia through its budget plan seeks to do the same thing. This appears to be the first incidence of a Republican led state intending to hurt its citizens in order to vent its anger at Obamacare.

As citizens of those states see that their counterparts in other states continue to receive health care, I believe that Mr. McDonnell and his band of Republican light-heads will rue the day they tried this little trick.

Republicans have long forgotten exactly WHY they are elected in the first place.

Φ

I gotta tell ya, my phone has been ringing off the hook ever since the news hit.

What new?

Oh the pope is taking early retirement.

Yeah, he’s heading off to soak up the sun along the Riviera.

Anyway, everyone is begging me to give ’em the scoop on who will be the new Pope.

Seein’ as how I’m Catholic and all, and well Bennie calls me nearly every week. . . .

Well, il papa John Paul II, was an ultra conservative, and while clutching the throne of Peter, he hugely enlarged the College of Cardinals, and made sure that all his new Cardinals were of a similar right-wing persuasion.

So, unless the Holy Spirit jumps into the fray as in Vatican II (now gutted by humans who of course KNOW better than God), expect that the next pope will not be any more friendly than the last two when it comes to contraception, gay marriage, women’s ordination,  or anything along those lines.

You heard it here.

Related articles

• Lindsey Graham Needs to Get a “Real” Life (guardianlv.com)
• Hey, Without the Sarcasm and Prissy Walk, Lindsey Graham is Just Another GOP Jerk (juanitajean.com)
• Steven Seagal Trains US School Guard ‘Posse’ (news.sky.com)
• Steven Seagal Shows Sheriff Joe’s Criminal Vigilantes How to Rescue our Children (politicususa.com)
• Lindsey Graham on Benghazi: Yeah, That “What Does It Matter” Answer Wasn’t Good Enough (minx.cc)
• Will Lindsey Graham ever accept the 2012 election results? Does he need counseling? (mbcalyn.com)

They’re All Bums–Well Most of Them

Tags

Catholic Church, filibusters, gun control, Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell, pedophilia, President, senate, wacko right

Yeah, you heard me.

I try to get away from the idiots but they just keep coming. There is no end to the incompetent, self-serving bull crap going on in Washington. I mean it makes your head swirl.

First we got old Wayne La pee pee Pierre and his survivalist mentality. How’s this for logic: we can’t do background checks (which he FULLY endorsed in only 1999) because criminals won’t come in to submit to them.

Why shock me to death Whiney Wayne. I guess we shouldn’t have laws against bank robbery either, cuz you know, the bank robber he’s just not going to obey it.

Why can’t we have limits of the types of weapons that are sold? “Because we can’t trust these people,” according to Wayne. These people being the operative word here, as in “liberals” or “blacks” you know. Just because they say they won’t take shotguns and hunting rifles and regular handguns, “they” might just be lying.

Just as you Wayne lie to your constituents when you tell them that “who knows, the next disaster like a tornado the government might not show up, and well, people will have to defend themselves from marauding hoards.” Yeah you utter base excuse for a human being. That is so likely to happen.

If gun manufacturers can’t come up with better arguments than that, well, you deserve to be pistol-whipped boys.

BITE ME!

And then there is the king wimp of them all, Mr. Harry Reid, you know the soft-spoken little twit that Democrats are somehow forced to accept as Majority Leader in the Senate?

Why Harry, when asked about his support for gun safety legislation, says, “these are all things we need to take a look at.”

Take a look at ?

Where the hell have you been for the last two months you mealy-mouthed sucker on the NRA teat?

You’re the freakin’ MAJORITY leader. You’re in charge of what gets brought to the floor. You’re supposed to be a good guy remember? What is there to “understand” about high-capacity clips? Shall we ban anything over 10, or anything over 6? Boy that took a lot of time to “study.” And doesn’t it behoove somebody on your staff to have actually read Diane Feinstein’s bill? Is it so much different from the last one you enacted? What exactly do you do all day, other than feed lettuce to the Turtle Man?

Get off your stupid ass and DO something, and while you are at it:

BITE ME!

Speaking of whom, or what, or it, Turtle Man McConnell, I hear tell you are gonna filibuster the President’s nominee Richard Cordray once again to head up the Consumer Protection Division? This after you all admit there is not a damn thing wrong with his qualifications. This is solely because you don’t like the agency. Well that’s a new one.

Never in the history of the Republic has a party filibustered a nominee simply because they don’t like the agency he or she is going to head. Now we understand that those beholden to big business want no part of protecting consumers. No that would be wrong, You’re the party of rugged individualism. People have to take care of themselves. I mean it can’t cost too much to have a lab test done to find  that the damn medicine that  Pfizer produces won’t kill me, immediately, or grow hair on the bottom of my feet in two years.

This crap is absurd. And your pal Harry, God bless his stupid little head, was so scared of your wrath that he ignored the real opportunity to put an end to this insane misuse of the filibuster when he had the chance. Jimmy Stewart is crying in heaven today.

So Mitch?

BITE ME!

And Harry?

BITE ME AGAIN!

The President mentioned that he went skeet shooting at Camp David. Of course the insane Right, went insane, insinuating that the President was lying. Not because they hate him, of course, and if he cured cancer, they would see it as a Muslim Brotherhood Plot. No. Not for that reason. They don’t trust him, since he’s done so many darn things that were illegal and well everybody knows all of our FREEDOMS are hanging by a threat.

So he no doubt lied about the skeet shooting, for some reason, but reasons don’t matter, and are too hard to figure out, so let’s just say he lied, because well Black people have a habit of doing that, *nudge nudge*.

So the White House produces a picture of the present firing a gun that all agree is the type used for skeet shooting.

So of course, IT’S A FAKE!

It’s another conspiracy folks and the survivalists sure do love them some conspiracy.

BITE ME! ALL OF YOU!

Some of you may have heard of Archbishop Roger Mahony, retired from the archdiocese of Los Angeles in 2011 after having served since 1985. He and his top aide, Thomas Curry were both implicated in covering up child abuse by a series of priests. Just released documents show they actively attempted to protect priests from prosecution and withheld their names from police.

They have, in their retirement, been stripped of all public and administrative duties. This was done by now Archbishop  Jóse Gomez.

Children, we are told were threatened if they told the truth of what happened to them.

There was one way that a Church which claims to be the holder of the Keys of St. Peter and THE church of  Christ, (which you may or may not buy. I don’t and I am a Catholic), and that is to expose and drive out of the priesthood anyone who assaults a child. Period. End of discussion. You can offer them all your prayers and whatever, but first you REMOVE THEM FROM THE PRIESTHOOD. They are not fit to be priests. They are not some common sinners. They are predators of innocent children.

To all you who make excuses for my Church and it’s utter failing in this matter, I say:

BITE ME!

Oh, and I’m in a darn good mood today. The Ravens won, I walked the dog, the housework is done, the Contrarian cleaned the oven, and he’s taking me out to lunch. I’m happy as a clam. You don’t want to see me when I’m hot. No I suspect you don’t.

Related articles

• Will Harry Reid’s Filibuster Deal With McConnell Bite Him On the You-Know-What? (themoderatevoice.com)
• Photo of Obama Shooting Skeet Stirs Controversy (usnews.com)
• Harry Reid: “I’m not personally, at this stage, ready to get rid of the 60-vote threshold” (washingtonpost.com)