Well, hey there! Belly up to the double-wide, find somethin’ to plant your keister on, and I’ll hit the cooler and bring ya back a cold one. As soon as everyone gets here, we’ll commence to havin’ our monthly meetin’ of the Daisy Trailer Court All Tea Party Believers Group. Hey pass those pork rinds will ya? Clara ate the last bear claw this mornin’ and I am sure I can’t wait fer lunch.
It’s been a busy week doncha think?
That darned Trump is sure messin’ up some feathers ain’t he? Man has the gumption to tell it don’t he? He’s makin’ all those others look like the Cuckservatives they really are, cuckholded and Rino at the same time. Oh boy, don’t get me started.
Now, I was at the city pool the other day. I know, I know what you are gonna say. What’s a fellow doin’ at a pool? I mean a good creek or pond is what ya swim in, not some indoor cement thing. Remember ole Jeb and his “cement pond”? Haha, we got a different Jeb now don’t we. Our Jeb could make ya wish for the opportunity to watch paint dry couldn’t he? Boringest man I’ve ever heard. But them Bushes are all strange aren’t they? Daddy and his jumpin’ outta planes and Dubya, well, he avoided planes as far as I heard when he was in the Reserves.
Reserves, Preservers, seems that “branch” of the service is only for rich kids who need to look the part without being a real soldier. But that’s another whole thing ain’t it?
So, anyway, I was at the pool cuz my doc sent me on account of this torn muscle thing. Thinks I can heal faster if I walk in water. Well, I’m hear to tell ya, I learnt something a bit different there.
See, I was watchin’ as people walked into the pool water. Now given all the waters I’ve tucked my toe into, I’d say this looked mighty clean and well purdy warm too. But you’d not a known that ‘iff’n you had watched.
These folks would stick a toe in and screw up their faces so bad you’d a thought they was shocked that water was wet. It was a sight to see. One after another, all lookin’ so surprised when they stepped in. Either that, or they was shocked that they weren’t walkin’ on it. I’m not sure which.
Oh, looks like everybody is here. Let’s call this meetin’ to order. Donnie, lead the pledge and then Cindy Lou will lead the prayer.
Okay, let’s look at the news:
First of all, women are now in the Rangers. What ya all think of that one?
SFODx33 offered this: “I’m calling it right now. First female in combat that has an ingrown toe nail will receive the Medal of Honor. Some folks are way too eager to ram this through and force women to the front line. There is NO DOUBT, standard will be decreased to accommodate the next “GI Jane”. I can already see the discrimination claims against CO’s and senior NCO’s for expecting the chics to pull their weight.” And the only thing you ever served on was as float captain for your freshman highschool class. Are you just complaining because nobody cares about your ingrown toe nail? Suck it up dude, or this chic (sp) will force more prune juice down your gullet to move that shit along.
Andy M chimed in: “If you haven’t been paying attention over the last 20 years, equal opportunity and affirmative action are doing more harm than good these days.” I’m guessin’ it has more to do with you losin’ your job at McDonald’s because you couldn’t flip a burger and keep it on the grill, than it has to do with affirmative action and equal opportunity. I’m guessin’ you’re a “discriminated-against white dude?”
So how you guys think of that “black lives matter” thing? Don’t ALL lives matter?
Demonrat Plantation utters with a smile: I prefer #black LIES matter as it is more truthful regarding their methods.” And I thought that Confederate flag in your front yard was only a joke.
R Hugh Sirius blubbered: “Enduring the Black Lives Movement: When it’s brown, flush it down. When it’s black, send it back…” Now aren’t you clever. Oh you forgot one. “When it’s an ignorant white dude, just bury it.”
Well Trump has talked about eliminating “birthright citizenship”. How’s that sittin’ with ya? Scotty Walker says he won’t take any position on it. You agree with that?
Anabasis sighed: “American workers should not be compelled by their government to pay for Mexicans to sit around and breed.” Ana do you have any basis for that? No? I thought not. Go back to your donuts.
Chootum moans: “Well another bites the dust. I want to know why we can’t close the boarders, find all the criminal illegals , build a fence and change our laws on citizenship to protect our citizens ALL at the same time ? I guess our candidates can’t multi-task” I often wonder why I can’t have chocolate sprinkles on my popcorn when I ride my unicorn, but unicorns don’t multi-task well. Why don’t you practice guard duty in your backyard for a while, and we’ll see how that goes.
And then there’s that Iran deal. How do you all feel about that one?
Latern59 mutters: “Under the table deals, secret deals, this whole thing stinks to high heaven. Obama Kerry should be in prison for making deals with a terrorist nation. If the average citizen knows this is wrong, why are our, so-called, leaders violating their own rules and laws?” Ever hear of a guy named Ronnie Reagan? He can tell you a thing or two about makin’ deals with terrorists. Oh history is not your strong suit?Well, you could have fooled NO ONE.
CharleyM1 pouted: Why do any Republicans favor the deal? Democrats I get. They vote blindly on party lines all the time. Why any Republicans? Yes, you sure got that right. Fifty votes to kill the ACA in the House proves that Democrats will all stick together. Not like those silly GOP’ers who are always all over the map when the votes are taken.
erv999 jumps up and down: Here is some interesting trivia for you. Do you know what Obama means in Persian? It means “he is with us”. Want more? The meaning of Obama in the Kenyan Luo language is “crooked or distorted”. In retrospect, the name was prophetic……Are you trying for extra credit or something?
Our guy Troy will be loadin’ up his truck and I think Tommie too, to take ya all down to the mass protest of them baby killin’ Planned Parenthooder’s. How many are goin’ down for that?
Reason_Over_Ideology wondered: “Why protest when you could just pray?” I do know what ya mean. I mean while prayin’ you can easily drink a can of beer and eat lunch. Also it’s probably dangerous to get too close to such a place. Satan lurks ya know.
Virginiagentleman had this to add: “Don’t hold your breath waiting for the mainline Protestant denominations to side with these protests against PP’s ghoulish conduct. Somehow their willingness to speak for the “oppressed victims” of the world doesn’t include the unborn children who are slaughtered for their organs and other body parts.”Nope, everybody knows that those sorts of Christians aren’t the REAL kind. And once we get control of the government we are gonna make sure those sorts lose their tax exemptions since they don’t deserve them. Long live the Constitution!
When you add in that the House Rep from Alaska, Don Young, said that government handouts had more to do with Alaska’s high suicide rate than anything else,
Or that in Missouri, the state legislature (GOP controlled) having been plagued by a number of their members being forced to resign because they were sexually harassing interns, figured the solution to that was to demand that interns dress more conservatively,
Or that the Duggars are requesting a new show where they counsel sexual abuse victims (presumably not Josh’s),
Or that Donald Trump is still the outstanding front-runner,
and you have PROOF POSITIVE THIS IS NOT THE EARTH YOU WENT TO SLEEP ON.
YOU MY FRIEND HAVE BEEN TRANSPORTED TO ANOTHER PLANET, ANOTHER GALAXY, AND PERHAPS EVEN ANOTHER UNIVERSE (IF ONE BELIEVES IN THE MULTIVERSE CONCEPT).
Control of your computer is now returned to you.
All above remarks were made by real people in response to stories in The Daily Caller, The Blaze, and Breitbart News. I swear it.
Existential Ennui 