Every so often I feel the need to change things up a bit. I don’t do this to my other blogs by and large, but this one seems to change with time.
Mostly my interests are so diverse that occasionally I discover that I’ve struck a new course in a meandering sort of way, and now find myself quite unlike where I expected to be.
I am as they say, a woman for all seasons, a renaissance gal, an eclectic, a head in the stars sort of lady. I’m a foul-mouthed sailor on occasion if that can any more be said to exist apart from the general population’s proclivities toward sewer mouth. I’m a sexual tease, a damned old lady, eccentric in my heart (although my husband says a true eccentric must be rich and I’m not sleeping in a bed of hundred-dollar bills, though I do account myself quite wealthy by some standard I set for myself anyway), and an intellectual maven in my own mind at least. I’m so housewifey it makes me sick at times with another recipe always tempting and another craft to be mastered. I watch too much television, don’t read enough books, think too much of things I cannot know, believe in stuff that would stun a logical person, question almost everything, argue because it’s Tuesday, (or any other day of the week), and love fiercely, passionately, compassionately, empathetically, and with a child-like innocence.
I love any animal with fur, and dislike most anything without it.
I have a good grasp on what I don’t know.
I have a passion to know, and when I realized long ago that I could not possibly keep up with all the books I wanted to read, I felt like I should have a funeral. There was once a time when the average person could do so, albeit she would require a certain wealth to obtain the books.
I took forever to find women roll models but I have them, Saint Catherine of Alexandria, Saint Catherine of Siena, and Hypatia of Alexandria, the latter being my most noteworthy mentor. She was at one time the librarian at the great library of Alexandria, and yes I mourn the loss of that institution still, along with Freddy Mercury from Queen. Go figure.
I think of libraries as sacred places.
As I enter the small city of Las Cruces many mornings and come over the last hill down into the town, the hillside to my left reminds me of the houses perched down the sides of the cliffs of the Aegean although there is no sea below. It’s the white/pink colors that remind me. I revere Athens and Plato and Socrates unlike hardly any other beings from the past, along with a string of Romans such as Livy and Cicero. Let us not forget Aristophanes, Ovid and Virgil either.
These people and places are my center.
I like old coke, potato chips and chocolate ice cream. I secretly play a few games of bingo every day. You wanna talk eclectic?
I am a good person, at times an awful one. I am selfish, and then extravagant in my giving. I love beautiful jewels and hate the diamond mines and the toll of human life they take. I hate that we are so rich and yet so poor in spirit and common decency that we are willing to allow cruel poverty to consume all too many in exchange for retaining a few hundred extra dollars a year in taxes.
I hate stupid. I hate ignorance, and I hate most of all people who are content to be both because it’s easier to believe the lie that brings comfort to their otherwise miserable lives. I hate people who cannot face themselves or their shortcomings. I hate people who blame others instead of themselves.
I love truth.
I love it because it is all that we have in the end. Without it, we live lives of delusion and cling to what cannot endure. Truth is enduring though it may well change as we learn more. Truth in reality never changes, but our understanding of it does. But seek it we must, for all solid ground is ultimately based upon it.
You can believe the earth is 6,000 years old and God will somehow never let earth fail, but it won’t stop the truth. Believe what you may, true will have its way. Better to accept truth and perhaps then the light can shine on how we have misidentified God. Is it not better to know God for what God is rather than as we desire God to be?
The logic seems irrefutable to me.
So here we concentrate on truth.
We always have, but it bears stating it out, and naming it as our goal.
We welcome discussion, we welcome dispute, but we will never sacrifice truth for what feels good here.
I expose my underbelly with no small reluctance, but still I do it because truth is the only thing that in the end will help another to cope with their own demons and despair. You are not alone, we are all in this together.
So nothing is changed much, except that we have prettied our self up in a new dress and new name. And hopefully we will use truth as our walking stick, always aware in whatever we say and do, that we cannot hide it, deny it, or pretend it is not. It walks beside us, is firmly gripped by us, and seeks the firm ground as we walk forward into this and every day.