I’m Crying. . . No Wait, I’m Laughing. . .Living in the Dream

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crap I learned but wished I hadn't

I rather doubt that Mrs. Neanderthal had these problems.

I mean seriously. The sun came up, the moon went down. It rained, or snowed, or the Smilodon ate the children. Things were pretty darn reality-based.

Today?

Not so much.

I swear, more people fall for satirical sites than ever before because it is just that hard to tell fiction from reality. I mean is there ANYTHING that Sarah Palin couldn’t necessarily say regarding Russia or Malaysian Flight 370?

So, it seems to me, that mostly, we are keeping our heads tucked into our turtle shells as a matter of self-defense. The brain can only take so much nonsense before it says in effect, “I’m outta here!”

Which is all to say, that this is what I found crazier than spit this week, or whatever.

The religious right continues to moan and groan about how the “others” portray their favorite sacred cows. Whether it be how Neal De Grasse Tyson portrays the universe and humans or how Hollywood portrays Noah, the Right claims that it is not being consulted, nor given “equal time” to present their fantasy-based interpretation.

I scratch my head. Actually I scratch my head a lot when listening to the religious Right, since hypocrisy and contradiction are their middle name. Cognitive dissonance is written across their foreheads.

Are not these the same people who harp on how we need to return to a “free market economy” because that’s what made (and will make again) Merika great? Despite all the evidence that proves that we have never been such a thing, they surely want it.

Isn’t Cosmos just a bunch of people who took free market principles, gathered money, made a show, sold it on the open market and presented it? Is there  anything stopping the cuckoo birds on the Right from doing the same? Ain’t that your “free market” in action?

In other words, why do you think you get equal time?

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Is it just me or would it all just be more fun if all the GOP frontrunners who have gathered at the foot of the throne of Sheldon Adelson to beg him to lavish his money upon them, would just give the old ugly fart a blow job, best one wins?

I hear Chris Christie wooed the old man to a standing ovation with his promises to give Israel a new cabinet seat in his hoped for Administration. I will give Chris one thing. If apparent sincerity were the gauge of truth, he’d be right up there in believability. Most demagogues sound good don’t they?

And Chris, I saw ya sitting at the Garden watching UConn. Dude. That belt thing is getting out of hand. I mean you could stick your tongue out and lick the buckle. Go for suspenders and then you can wear your pants under your belly and not be afraid they’ll fall down and expose your miniature penis. I promise.

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Meanwhile GM is furiously trying to stop Tesla from selling their cars from the factory. What part of “free market” economy don’t you guys get? See above regarding Religious Right.

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Did he think we would miss this? Scott Walker, who for reasons that escape the sane head, thinks he might run for President, has happily signed into law measures to limit voting in his state, like on weekends and so forth, times when WORKING people find it easier to hit the polls. All the while, he extends the time allowed for BUSINESS to make campaign donations (no doubt to his coffers).

I have to hand it to the GOP. They really make no bones about the fact that they know they can’t win elections if people actually vote, at least if SOME people actually vote, so they are more than happy to do their best to make sure those SOME people can’t vote. Yea! We Won! (by reducing the electorate to only US!)

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There is a Hollywood right-wing organization called “Friends of Abe” that you might want to become aware of. Prominent members are founder Gary Sinise, Clint Eastwood, Kelsey Grammer, Jerry Bruckheimer, Patricia Heaton, Robert Duvall, and David Mamet. Our dear Ted Cruz went out to give a speech to them recently. They appear to be embroiled in some very questionable legal activities regarding their attempts to gain 501 (c)(3) status from the IRS.

It’s all very creepy, you know, these poor misunderstood and much maligned conservatives. Read the usual “victimization” crap.

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In, “This is Great News!” Steven Seagal, “action” figure turned awful actor, says he think Vlad Putin did a great job swallowing Crimea, and figures he will soon be living in Moscow himself.

If we get really lucky he might take Joseph Farah crazy grifter from WorldNetDaily for whom Seagal “writes” and Sheriff Arpaio, whom he supports because, hey, what’s a little racism among friends?

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I figure that the film Noah will do just fine at the box office if they just show remarks by Ken Ham. “Boring”, “worst film I’ve ever seen”, “extreme environmental message”, “psychopath”, “pagan elements”, “anti-biblical”, “a sci-fi fantasy”, and “an insult to God”. Coming from Ham, this is worth it’s weight in golden calves, er Oscars.

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Seriously. This is women’s history month. And it’s nearly over. So do read about black women and their fight to stop lynching in America. It’s sobering. And in a world where racism still exists too too much (any at all is too much), it’s timely.

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If you aren’t already you should be reading Charles Pierce. He writes for Esquire and he is irreverent, spot on in his right-wing hostility, and rip-roaringly great with words. Just Google him and then make sure you read his stuff.

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As some of you know, I’m in the midst of yet another push to figure out all this enlightenment, spiritual, God stuff. I tend to go by fits and starts. Do not for a moment think that I am unaware of the incongruity of being a snarky mouthy opinionated leftie while at the same time pursing non-dual non-self, self-awareness at the same time. I am most aware that they are at polar opposites.

So witness a truly integrated double personality! I do the former because (a) it is what I truly believe and touches my soul as stuff that matters to humanity writ large and (b) is kickin’ fun. I do the latter since I’m this frightened pile of poo like everyone else, not afraid to say that and wanna know what comes next, or at least to live with death stalking me with more peacefulness that I now do. Let’s face it, most of us deal with our impending end by (a) refusing to think about it (b) medicating it to death or (c) mantra-ing it to death with our favorite religious, “I do believe, I do, I swear I do, please believe me GOD and don’t send me to hell” chanting when ever the scary stuff gets too close.

Part of being me is speaking truth, AND striking down falsehood and misleading bullshit where I find it, which doesn’t make me necessarily right, but at least gives others a fighting chance to see that there are two sides and not just one. It’s on you. YOU gotta think and you gotta decide. I’m just doing that out loud.

So happy Sunday.