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tea-bag_628x434Okay, so I was thinking yesterday. This is not unusual with me, I usually do. Remember that episode of Star Trek where the machine sucked out your thoughts? And with nothing to think about the poor soul in the machine did not reach the state of Nirvana in perfect communion with God, but rather died from lack of anything to do?  You remember right?

tos-daggerofthemind6See, this really produced a conflict with me. I understand that perfect meditation requires an “emptying of the mind” yet, Star Trek in Daggers of the Mind informs me that it can cause death. So, I have always decided to err on the side of keeping my mind active rather than tempt God to just say, “nothing going on in there” and pull the plug.

Which then raises the second quandary for me. I know a ton of people with “nothing going on in there” and they seem to still VOTE and worse yet, LEGISLATE.

So I have no idea which is true.

So I was thinking, as I said.

And I got this perfect idea. Well, to be honest, it wasn’t exactly my idea, but I don’t know who Theor27 is so it might as well be my idea, since anybody who goes by the screen name Theor27 probably doesn’t have the connections I have to promote this idea properly, and anyway Theor27 just sorta mentioned it, and didn’t flesh it out like I have, and that has to count for something, right? I mean I respect  work product and all that, but I’m pretty sure if you sort through my massive subconscious, you would find this idea there, and that’s pretty close to be an original idea” don’t you think? Do you have any idea how many recipes I see that are exact, I mean down to every word that don’t mention that they got the idea from somebody else, but rather pass it off as their own. Doesn’t everybody start off their brownie recipe with “best darn brownies this side of Saturn”?

So given that good old Theor27 probably will never know, I’m claiming this idea in full as my own. Since I fleshed it out, as I said.

So, I’m thinking along the lines of a Sim city interface, or perhaps a board game. Or perhaps something more along the “miniature” railroad thing. You know what I mean surely. The old guy down the block whose entire basement is a little town with a railroad that runs all around, with miniature trees and overpasses and, even a lake? THAT guy? Or the lady who every Christmas turns her spare bedroom into a village with cotton ball “snow” and a post office, and carolers and little painted houses with little tiny lights inside? You know, THAT lady?

So this will be called: Tea Party Town. And you can make it up as you like. You see? Cheney+figure

I’m just letting my mind flow here guys.

You could have like a “lake of fire” and a big old hand that you could automate to let go of little liberal action figures and drop them into it. It would be God (the hand that is) dropping the bad bad liberals into the lake of eternal damnation for all the things they want to do, like be communists or fascists (since tea baggers generally don’t know the difference) or being for “choice” or for Obamacare, or for wanting to “redistribute the wealth”. You know, whatever dumb thing teabaggers dream up for killin’ and condemning for all time anybody not like them.

There could be a big museum and out front Jesus could be sitting atop a big old Brontosaurus teaching the flock.

JesusHow cool would that be? All the people could be wearing little tri-corner hats with little teabags hanging from them.

Everybody would be white of course.

Except for the grounds keepers, and the maids, and the bus drivers.






So, that takes care of some of the bigger plans for our Tea Party village.

But no such place would be really “home” if it didn’t have some actual Tea Party homes.

So you could, you know, fashion the decor as it suits your version of Tea Party heaven.

sarah_palin_dollOf course you should have Sarah greeting all the visitors to the neighborhood.

I mean she fits in here so well doncha think?

I big ol’ happy smile on her perky face.

Welcoming all you nice tea party friends, and makin’ sure as you drive by that you are the right complexion.

biblesPick up a bible as you enter, so you’ll be sure to know how to act now!

As you enter, don’t forget to notice how nice everything is, all the same. Nobody here likes to be “different” because God doesn’t like different. It says so, somewhere in the Good Book.  Or is certainly implied if you get my drift.

trailer-park But for sure, in your village of Tea Baggerdom, don’t forget the most important place of all.

Or not.

It really depends.

Some tea baggers don’t cotton to no formalized church you know. They found that it in the bible too. Anybody can just read “God’s word”. Long as it’s the King James Version that is. The rest are just Satanic verse, to pun.

Don’t listen to no word of men, they say. God said it, ‘nuf said.

Or not.

If you are one of them churched teabaggers, then you probably should have one of these:

MegaChurch3The Mega Church solves all your problems, and meets all your needs. From indoctrinating the lit’lins into proper creationist, flatlander, young earthiness, to making sure that your will suitably leaves all your money to the church, it’s one for all and all for one.

Common phrases you will hear are:

  • Love the sinner, hate the sin.
  • God hates sinners.
  • God helps those who help themselves.
  • If they don’t work, they don’t eat.
  • Are you born again?
  • Have you confessed Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?
  • Handups not handouts!
  • Fornication is a sin, but God forgives!
  • Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!

Well-regulatedMilitiaDon’t forget this important place.

You will be spending a lot of time here, looking, touching, nay caressing the fine barrels of these beautiful killers.

There is no more important Amendment to the constitution (how it wasn’t listed as the first ARTICLE of the constitution beats me, than the 2nd?


You see, this constitution is all F**ked up isn’t it?

I mean I’m sure the Founding Fathers meant:

ARTICLE I: We are a Christian nation!

ARTICLE II: God wants us to use guns to enforce that!

All the rest is mere filler.


amd-doll1-jpgA little humor in your Tea Party village is always good.

For she is NOT A WITCH.

She said so.

Witches cannot lie. That is a lie.

That’s a whole ‘nother Star Trek show.

I don’t want to go there.

Christine O’Donnell made my head hurt.

SimiMoorparkTeaPartyLogoDoes this mean that somebody has beat me to the punch?

All this work?

And somebody has already got a Sim’s Tea Park?

I am crestfallen.

Nay I am deeply chagrined.

Nay, I am pissed.

This was MY IDEA.

I was gonna make a billion bucks off this. Hasbro on speed dial. Gates wanted it as a Microsoft Windows standard game. I just know it.


I suppose you expect me to do something productive now?

And I had the decor all picked out in my Hawaiian beach house. I did. Really. No I did.