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NURSEI would sure like to know who drugs me and transports me without my agreement to these other planets in the galaxy. I mean, I go to sleep one place, and get up and everything seems normal.

Until of course something so outrageously insane happens, and I look skyward, knowing of course that that sun up there is not my sun, but rays down upon this alien landscape that just looks like my earth.

How do I tell?

Oh. It’s the outrageously insane thing that happens. I mean it ain’t human the thing that happens. It belongs to a foreign and utterly insane race of people who do the opposite of anything any NORMAL human would do. I pity that poor planet. It’s not like mine.

On this planet, a “nurse” who works at a senior assisted living facility, calls emergency services (oddly also called 911 here) to announce that an 80-something lady has collapsed in the dining area and is “barely” breathing. The operator, sends off help and then instructs the nurse to go over and begin doing CPR (apparently they have a similar heart-lung circulatory system as we do). The nurse refuses telling the operator that the company she works for doesn’t allow her to do that.

We are told that the facility doesn’t “do” medical care as part of its services, and prohibits the nurse (whose purpose there is never explained) from rendering assistance to a resident in distress. The operator becomes more and more excited, begging the nurse to find “somebody” who can. The nurse says nobody (except presumably her) knows how to do it. The operator says that’s fine, she can teach them over the phone. The nurse says the company doesn’t allow that either.

The woman of course dies.

The state (also oddly enough called California) has a law that says one is not required to come to the assistance of another. There are plenty of states with such a rule. There are also states that have rules that are called “good Samaritan” laws that protect well-meaning people who help from being sued for causing harm during the helping.

It begs the question I guess to wonder if a nurse has a duty beyond “obeying orders” that might be above the inhuman (obviously because this planet’s inhabitants must not be human like us), order of a company who cares nothing more than for the bottom line–profits shall not be diluted by lawsuits.  It begs the question too why there is a “nurse” employed in the first place if not to at least imply to residents and their families that medical care is only a “step away.”

I sure was glad to learn that I had been secretly kidnapped to this draconian planet. Nothing like this could happen on my earth, and certainly not in my country. Nobody would be that cold and, well, inhuman. No, never in my America.

If that wasn’t enough to assure me that I was no longer in Kansas or anywhere nearby, I saw another thing on this nutsy planet that make it clear it was not mine.

I heard a guy (I swear this is true) who called himself Jeb Bush, just like our Jeb Bush  in America. Only this one, he didn’t have any love for the Latinos like our Jeb. No this one, (not sure he is married to a Latino woman likes ours) he is against allowing undocumented workers a path to citizenship. He is, (believe it or not) in favor of creating them as a permanent underclass in this country they call America, although I think the correct spelling is AmerIKA. No citizenship for them, for as he put it, the last time they did amnesty, why a whole bunch of them didn’t take advantage of it anyway, so they must not really want to be citizens, doncha know.

Yeah, he didn’t mention that maybe some of them were still afraid, and many even more couldn’t afford to pay those fines that you had to pay first to apply.

Our Jeb would never think of such a thing. He’s the smarter of the Bushes (yes they have a passel of  Bushes here too) and that is such an ugly idea that nobody who cares about immigrants would ever suggest that we start defining a whole class as some slave labor reservoir.

They say that this Jeb here, why he is thinking about running for president in 2016. And they tell me that a tiny minority of really nasty mean people hate Latinos for all kinds of imagined things, and this Jeb is courting them for votes.

Our Jeb ain’t like that. He has principles. That Jeb could learn a thing or two from our Jeb.

So, anyway, I gotta run. I’m heading down to the airport and find the next transport back to the third rock from the sun. I sure hope to be back by tomorrow. The food here sucks.

**I learned after the posting of this that the woman in the first instance may have signed a DNR order and may well have been informed that staff were prohibited from offering any medical assistance. I am wrong to castigate the nurse in question if that is so, although I find it odd that she made no mention of this fact when talking to the 911 operator. I apologize to anyone I offended by my attempt at humor. I will not withdraw the post since it’s important to publicly admit one’s errors and not try to erase them in my opinion. I stand by my opinion that the company should have no such “rule” in place.