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rand_paul_kingUh, NO!

Perhaps the most amusing moment during Hillary Clinton’s testimony before Congress yesterday, was her encounter with the weird Randal. Son of the famous Ron Paul, the Libertarian who whines that nobody gives him his props as a serious candidate, Randal represents the fair state of Kentucky, where of course, his stable mate is Mitch “the Turtle” McConnell.

Now Randal has delusions of being president. He plans to carry the GOP banner in 2016, after fending off the likes of Bobby Jindal and Marco Rubio, two who can at least claim foreign-ness as a bonus point. Randal can only claim stupid (his under understanding of the Constitution is rather stellar), with a strong dose of crazy mixed in.

Yesterday, Randal tried to go toe to toe with Hillary. And he hitched up his jammies and told Hillary that well you can read it for yourself:

I think that ultimately with your leaving you accept responsibility for the worst culpability for the worst tragedy since 9/11. And I really mean that. Had I been president at the time and I found that you did not read the cables from Benghazi, you did read the cables from Ambassador Stevens, I would have relieved you of your post. I think it’s inexcusable.

Of course, I was hoping for something utterly dry like, “Well, on so many levels, Senator, we are assured that THAT won’t be happening!” But she is a diplomat after all.

Worst tragedy since 9/11? Wow, that leaves out Katrina, Hurricane Sandy, Aurora, Sandy Hook, and a half-dozen tornadoes I can think of. It leaves out the fairly senseless deaths of all those killed in Iraq and probably a goodly number of those killed in Afghanistan.

When you go for the killer punch Senator, it’s so tempting to make something so much bigger than it really is. When you are on national TV and all, and have an ego as big as Texas and have delusions of being POTUS, yourself.

You’re an idiot. Go sit in the corner and suck your thumb Randal.

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Johnny S. McCain promised us that he had a lot of questions he wanted answers to. He didn’t ask any. He just pontificated. The old war-horse who never met a war he didn’t want to send somebody’s kids to fight (so they could enjoy all the fun he had), claims that Ambassador Stevens told him personally that security was not up to snuff in Benghazi. Whom did he tell?

No one as far as anyone can ascertain. And how about those Republican holds on funds for security in Libya and other places? John had nothing to say about that either.

Same old Johnny. Just a lot of angry old complaints that amount to “I woulda been a better President than him, I would have!”

Old record, John, and it’s beginning to skip. I think the record is scratched.

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I loves me some conspiracies.

So good with a nice cup of hot chocolate.

Nobody is better at the game of conspiracy hunting that that dear boy Glenn (where went my fame?) Beck.

Beck, if you didn’t know, runs that rag The Blaze, which is on the sleaze factor one point up and over from WorldNetDaily, and one point down and over from the other twin  bunker Breitbart, home of the Breitbots, which is an oxymoron, cuz nobody there is in any way deserving of the adjective “bright”.

Beck having found no fun in Texas, is back in the Big Apple trying to re-invent himself. And since Glenn is all about conspiracies, his latest is something of a tongue-twister. So hold on to your hats, private parts, or the porcelain throne as it fits your predilections.

Beck suggests that we must rid ourselves of all those OLD Conspiracies, they being the birther issues, and the Sandy Hook conspiracy. Sandy Hook conspiracy your gasp? What is that about? Oh, didn’t you hear? The Obama administration did Sandy Hook. Killed those little kids just to use it as a focus for taking away your guns! Boy, now it makes sense right?

Oh.

Well, Beck, says, whoa, you know, how many people would have to be involved in such a plan–to shoot up a school, and all that? No, that’s CRAZY!

Beck says, that all these conspiracy theories are just things that Obama USES to deflect your attention so that you don’t see the REAL conspiracies. I know, I know. Let me start that again. Slowly.

The crazy theories exist out there in the ether. And Obama grabs onto them, and feeds them surreptitiously to keep your conspiracy-lovin’ noggin occupied. All the while, the REAL conspiracy is going on behind your back. You know the one I mean–all the NEW WORLD ORDER ILLUMINATI DRACONIAN PLANS BY THE CAPITALIST-HATING, FASCIST/SOCIALIST/COMMUNIST/ LOVIN’ O-B-A-M-A.

Glad you know the truth? I bet you are. Shine up that AK-15, cuz baby you are gonna be using it soon against those black helicopters headin’ your way.

Don’t believe me? Think I made it up? Ha!

So, now that your mind is functionally unable to do anything else but count dust bunnies under the bed, I’ll leave you dear reader until tomorrow.

Or, leave an incoherent, but pithy, and funny, if at all possible, comment.

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