More Clean Pot Cleaning Or How To Try to Look Sympathetic

Tags

Election 2012, Humor, Mitt Romney, satire

Looks like Willard has been taking advice from his running mate, Paulie on how to appear empathetic. Yes, our intrepid wannabe Prez, saw Hurricane Sandy as a grand opportunity to look sympathetic to the masses of “those people” who live in little gingerbread houses, so tiny and quaint.

So, they turned a political rally into a “relief rally” albeit, they had music and a film show of our dynamic candidate before hand. Just bring your donation of food and diapers and feel good about yourself.

So anyway, the Red Cross reminded people that they ASK SPECIFICALLY that people don’t do this. They just have to unpack everything and repack it where it needs to go, and it’s so very much EASIER and MORE EFFICIENT for them if you give cash.

But having old Willard stand there with his fist out taking cash–well that looks so very BAIN of him, that they decided to ignore the Red Cross and do it the FREE MARKET way.

And then they worried that all those Romneyites being the selfish jerks they are, would probably show up sans DONATIONS, so they hurried off to Wal-Mart (Not Sams where we are told the Romney’s so enjoy shopping themselves) and bought about $5,000 worth of foodstuffs to stick in the truck to MAKE IT LOOK like people were donating as requested.

And the candidate, our fool, rolled up his sleeves and slipped on his belted jeans, you know the ones I mean–the ones that allow the dildo firmly lodged in his butt not to show too much–and stood at the table ready to shake the hands and receive the bottles of mayonnaise and pickles.

Except, that as they feared, most of the Romneydites showed up without the DONATION, and wanted to shake the hand of the man who wanted to turn AmeriKA into a corporate boardroom. What to do?

Why, stand a guy at the end of the table shouting down the life, “No boxy, no shakey!” or words to that effect, which made the troglodytes sob with snot running down their chins. And so somebody got the brilliant idea: “Set a box of stuff at that end of the table and hand them their donation when they get to the table to take to and hand to the LIAR Candidate!

And so they did.

And that’s how you appear to be empathetic to those who have suffered unspeakable losses of home and kith.

God Bless the Corporate Model of Doing Business! Onward You Special Rich!

Related articles

• Romney lines everybody up to give him stuff the Red Cross says it doesn’t want (dailykos.com)
• Romney’s unhelpful “storm relief” (salon.com)
• Red Cross had to divert staff to deal with Romney’s phony “relief effort” (americablog.com)