26 | October | 2012 | Existential Ennui

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I was meandering around my blog yesterday. I seldom do that. My schedule is too crazy for daydreamin’ on a Sunday afternoon.

But, I was meandering apropos of something or other and by chance clicked on my ClustrMaps icon which I had not done for like a year or so. Volumes of information poured forth, some of it amusingly and politically accurate and some of it just plain weird.

As you might expect, the talented and deliciously brilliant folks in California visit me more than any other state. The outlier is that Texas is second, and plainly there are not that many people who can read in Texas I’m quite sure. This is followed by New York, which again speaks to the chic in-the-know kinda folks that inhabit that fair land.

Florida is inexplicably next (no I’m not running through the entire cavalcade of states! give me some credit for knowing boredom when I smell it) and the only explanation is that the nursing homes set all the old geezers and geezerettes up in front of my page as a way of keeping the blood circulating from all my provocative stances on all issues of import.

Michigan favors its favorite daughter more than Iowa. I guess Iowa is pissed that I took one of their native sons away to live in the happy land of Enchantment. My new home of New Mexico is quite a distance ahead of my second home of Connecticut which apparently didn’t find my two-year stint there important enough to feel any kinship toward me.

Nothing much is of interest, except that the Washington DC area doesn’t read me nearly enough and I was just sure that I was the talk of Congress and most of the beltway. I assume being politically correct trumps political honesty. But deep down I know that Boehner of Orange sneaks a peak at what I have to say or at least has his staff prepare a synopsis/position paper, on my latest analysis.

The state that visits me least? Oh that would be North Dakota, and who the hell cares what they think? Exactly NOBODY.

Only eight have visited from the Armed Forces of the Pacific. I have no idea if that is an island or a ship, but I can allow that they may have more to do watching out for Commie sneak attacks than to read about Diego or peruse my decorating successes.

Foreign wise, the UK is by far ahead of the pack, beating out the neighbor to the north by a mile. I guess the Stanley Cup residing almost always in the US and my Canuck jokes have not gone over well. Hell, most of the damn country is uninhabited or uninhabitable, and everyone knows Polar bears don’t have thumbs to move the cursor.

I’m big in the Philippines and India, not so much in Switzerland or Finland. Go figure. If there is a correlation I have yet to figure it out. Folks from Trinidad and Tobago (boy it must be strange to be a pair of countries forever tied, kinda like Siamese twins?–or is that politically incorrect–conjoined twins? better?) visit more than those of Nigeria. Again, I’m flummoxed as to why.

I’m guessing, though I have no intention of tediously counting all of them, that I am nearing a visit from nearly every country on the map. One wonders how thy came to find me, and I’m sure each has a fabulously funny story to relate as to that. Contact me and I can feature your little story. Beyond that it is little wonder that the world is in the state it’s in if they have the time to read my blather.

But I’m sure you wanted to know all this.

At least now you have something to talk about at the dinner table. “Hey dear, did you know that Sherry over at A Voice From the Foothills has more visitors from Trinidad and Tobago than from Nigeria? That’s really odd don’t you think? Please pass the salt.”

It’s Friday, only about eleven days to go before I can take my brain back out of the freezer where I have stored it for safekeeping.