Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Or, “It ain’t no flippin’ flop”, I mean,  “I flipped before I flopped, NOT”.

“I MISUNDERSTOOD THE QUESTION!!!”

So says the Willard. This flop only took one hour.

Being interviewed in Ohio, Mr. Wizard Mouth, said that he “was not going there” when it came to interfering in the contraceptive decisions between a husband and a wife. He was “not in favor of the Blunt amendment.”  No, no he was not.

But then, back in the Romney board room, this ensuing conversation was overheard:  

“YOU FREAKIN’ SCREWED THE POOCH.”

“Huh?, What’d I do?”

“The phone is ringing off my belt! The Righteous TeaMob® is on the way with pitchforks, yelling for your head!”

“I don’t understand. Ann, can you explain?”

“Dear, the Tea People are FOR the Blunt amendment! Remember? It’s not about contraception, it’s about the freedom of every person to live out their faith or any seriously and honestly held moral belief. Don’t you remember?”

“Oh, yes, I’m for FREEDOM and the AMERICAN WAY. I just thought we were supposed to avoid that Santorum  stuff . . .you know, next they’ll start talking about the YOU KNOW WHAT.”

“So we are for the Blunt amendment? It’s so hard to keep all this straight.”

“We’ll say you misunderstood the question. You go out and say you are FOR the Blunt Amendment. You thought they were talking about some state bill in Ohio which would make it illegal for women to be covered for contraception. And you would be against that sort of thing, naturally, but FOR the Blunt amendment.”

“Yeah, I’m FOR the Blunt amendment. I aways was, you know. Never wavered on that one second. It doesn’t include Viagra right? No, I’m sure it doesn’t. My flip-floppin’ days are behind me. Well, actually I never flipped, no, not ever, not once.”

“What’s for lunch? I was hoping for some good Crab Salad and let’s have that good French Chardonnay Ann sent for from the wine cellar.”

(Reported by the fly on the wall. Reading between the lines, but probably accurate because what’s good enough for the GOP is good enough for you!)

For the record: the amendment was defined by the interviewer thusly: “Blunt-Rubio is being debated, I believe, later this week. It deals with banning or allowing employers to ban providing female contraception. Have you taken a position on it? He [Santorum] said he was for that. We’ll talk about personhood in a second, but he’s for that. Have you taken a position?” It’s rather a stretch to suggest you misunderstood and thought the question was about Ohio legislation. DOES BLUNT-RUBIO mean anything to you?

It may seem that I sometimes am a bit harsh to some of the citizenry of our fair country.

And it is true, I am sometimes a bit harsh.

But then, if they would just stop pissin’ me off, I’d be ever so much nicer.

Really I would.

Like The LimpDick Rushkin. He’s a dick with no where to go. I’m quite sure of that. I mean would you? Of course not.

So, given that he hasn’t seen any lady parts in so long they are but a distant Penthouse memory, he is given to saying really really ugly things to women.

Because he blames them, for you know, his homeless dick.

Georgetown student, Sandra Fluke was given the opportunity to speak of what lack of an ability to pay for contraceptives had meant to her life. The sick one, had this to say:

What does it say about the college coed Susan [sic] Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex.

“She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? We’re the pimps.

“The johns, that’s right. We would be the johns — no! We’re not the johns. Well — yeah, that’s right. Pimp’s not the right word.

“OK, so, she’s not a slut. She’s round-heeled. I take it back.”

And then there is the judicial giant, US District Court Judge Richard Cebull, who likes to send racial garbage via e-mail from the courthouse. He apologies to “anyone who might have been offended,” of course. It is Montana after all. I WAS appointed by Dubya, so I guess it’s understandable that he sent this joke:

 “A MOM’S MEMORY.” 

Normally I  don’t send or forward a lot of these, but even by my standards, it was a bit touching. I want all of my friends to feel what I felt when I read this. Hope it touches your heart like it did mine. 

“A little boy said to his mother; ‘Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?'” the email joke reads. “His mother replied, ‘Don’t even go there Barack! From what I can remember about that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark!'”

So am I being too hard on the good folks whose political opinions I disagree with? Am I?

Leavin’ ya with a laugh.

Today: Willard is asked about whether he is strong on gun rights: He says: “I like all the amendments”  

In the Past: Sarah Palin is asked what magazines and newspapers she reads: “Um, all of them, any of them. . .”

*shiver* 

Related articles