25 | February | 2012 | Existential Ennui

Tags

Chris Christie, Election 2012, gay rights, GOP, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum

Willard is just weird. There is no other explanation.

I mean, think back to when you were in high school. Surely you knew a Willard. He was the kid who wore a belt with his pressed and seamed jeans, and a checkered shirt. He wore goo in his hair. The wore a leather-banded watch. He wore black glasses. He brought salads in his perfectly folded lunch bag, and he had napkins.

He wrote legibly in his numerous notebooks, and he always knew the answer. His locker was clean. He wore a windbreaker. He wore tennis shoes, but never never brand names, and they were spotlessly white. And he washed his hands A LOT.

He was a geek even if he wasn’t a science nerd. He probably played cornet in the band, or clarinet.

That’s our Willard. He is socially inept and uncomfortable except among his own kind. To figure out why he wants to be President. . .needs to be president. . .would take the better part of psychoanalyst’s day to explain. Because of his wealth he’s been able to sit in his own office, behind a desk, safe and secure and issue orders. He avoided all the messiness of life. For God’s sake he tied the dog to the roof of his car rather than muss up the interior with dog hair.

You can tell he is not used to being challenged. When Santorum told him “you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he visibly moved back, his face went blank and he stared a hole in Santorum. Yes, Willard does like to fire people. Those who dare to challenge his authority. His arrogant “you get to ask the questions, I get to answer the way I want,” remark, now issued twice, is a hallmark of the guy who is used to doing the talking while others dutifully listen.

Yet, for all his supposed business savvy, this guy is clueless. So clueless that he can’t be left to his own devices lest he burst out with, “because I said so!” He is so wildly out of touch that he can’t even listen when told that his behavior is silly, his choice of words, childish and goofy. Instead of learning, he goes out and does it again.

So yesterday, Willard gave his much awaited, gonna knock ’em dead in the aisles, economic speech. And he started out with,

“This feels good being back in Michigan. You know, the trees are the right height, the streets are just right. I like the fact that most of the cars I see are Detroit-made automobiles. I drive a Mustang and a Chevy pickup truck. Ann drives a couple of Cadillacs.”

Forget the fact that the whole thing is already a photogenic disaster. Forget that he is utterly insensitive to the fact that two people have FIVE (he said he also used to have a Ford truck) vehicles between them, and 2 of them are Caddies.

No, the problem here is, “the streets are just right”. WTF? Who is this nut? Man Willard, this ain’t the forest and you aren’t Goldilocks. Or maybe that’s the problem. You think you are. Whatever, it just makes you look a fool. Which I guess you really are.

And dude? I really don’t want a President who gets visibly pissed when somebody challenges him. I don’t think that is the kind of “leader” I want. Come to think of it, I think it explains perfectly why you come off the way you do. You’re “advisers” are scared to dispute anything you say. ‘nuf said.

Well, it’s not like it wasn’t gonna happen.

Ragin’ Ricky was NOT gonna be able to stay on the wagon. The “thou shalt stay on message about the economy stupid” wagon. He tottled off, stumbling and careening until he pitched head long into the deep black hole of his own sexually perverse fantasies.

It will be enough to scare off the Independent of thinking folks in MISH-E_GAN probably, and he probably needs some of them to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory as regards The Willard.

Trust me, the land of two parts, has got a large wacko group of NASCARy-HIgh-SkOOlish grad-G-ates to give him still a decent chance. They hates the DAy-Twa (Detroit for you non-locals) element to death (and that means Romney and his hoity-toit Richie Rich ReRichricans) and, and thus, they may beer-belch the Churchy-boy across the finish line first. Just maybe.

And by the by, the upper land of two parts, so-called the UPPER PENINSULA? They are Wisconsians frankly. They HATE anything south of Grand Traverse. They will probably go with Dr. Paul. Or a Yooper Hat, which ever is the last thing they see before making their X on the ballot.

When the issue first came up, they said, “get out of here!”

When courts found one-man-one-woman a violation of the equal protection clause of the US and State Constitutions, they called them “activists” and demanded that the matter be left to the duly elected representatives of the people.

When the duly elected representatives of the people passed marriage equality bills in both chambers, they said, “leave it to the people to decide in a referendum.”

Of course, that’s what the Founding Fathers meant to happen. The rights of minorities should be decided by the majority.

That’s why Christie’s phone is ringing off the hook. David Barton wants him to come help to ‘splain the Constitution to the folks. And Liberty University is on the other line. They want him to teach a course in Constitutional law.

And Christie? He’s sending copies of his veto to all the TeaPeople. He is pretty sure they will “get it.”