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I continue to try to bring the GOP candidate party into some kind of perspective.

I think of it this way: You take a child to the Goodwill, and she spots an old, sorta beat up doll. They wants it. She promises never to want anything else in her life if she can have it. She gets it.

The next day, while shopping in Wal-Mart, she spots a whole array of dolls, and she drops her doll and grabs the box with the most sparkly of new baby pinkness. She begs and pleads, and she gets her wish, the new doll.

The next week, a trip to ToyRUs, produces an aisle of dolls, and she drops her latest acquisition and cries pitifully that if she can but have SusieWalkaLot, she will never look at another doll. This is the one she has dreamed of.

Please don’t take the kid next month to FAO Schwartz!

The TeaNutz® swear that this time they are sure. They’ve got their man. The polls are soaring. Ricky is DA MAN.

And pundits are saying that “Santorum poses an existential threat to Romney.”

Really?

Now, just a couple of weeks ago, Willard was praying with all his might for Newt to disappear. And Newt was praying for Santorum to go away. And now? Newt is just praying. Santorum is praying for Newt to go away, and Willard, having given up that they both will go away wants Newt to stay in to draw off a few votes from Santorum.

Got that?

Don’t worry if you don’t. It shall like be all changed by next week.

I wanna know what star Obama stands under so I can stand under it too.

Speaking of existential threats, I told you to go watch Doomsday Preppers. I bet most of you didn’t, but I did, cuz I’m just that kinda girl, and it’s my job to report.

So far we have had the threat of an imminent magnetic polar change, and the ensuing possible earthquakes and drifting continents. Then we had just general catastrophic earthquakes, and then there was a collapse of the power grid from solar flares and EMF, followed by collapse of the power grid by a disruption in oil for any number of reasons, and then massive volcanic upheaval, and then I don’t know what else.

Now the key thing here, seems to be the storage of massive amounts of food, all shelf stable. One family has cooked and canned enough food to feed 22 people for 15-20 years. That be a lot of food. There are houses made out of shipping containers, so as to withstand violent earthquakes. There are tanks of stored water.

There of course are weapons, lots of them, and lots of practicing at target shooting. This is for when the hordes of non-thinkers will come a lookin’ for yer food. There is plenty of jiu-jitsu and kamikazi-wackamole self-defense too.

Some folks have developed codes that they can hammer out with their knuckles as they “guard” the perimeter. Others learn languages of distant small island communities so they can talk without being understood, “honey where’s the bazooka?”

It is essential that practices be conducted regularly. They call them “bug-outs”. Some have buses, other’s cars. They have “jump off points” and hidden final destinations which they don’t divulge. One couple was heading to Mexico, but have since changed their minds, “because of the violence there.”

The funniest thing (which we haven’t seen yet) is some dude who shot half his thumb off during one of the practice sessions. He was sure “glad I was me and not my kid.” Did you know that a guy can get into a full haz-mat suit in less than a minute?

The reality of all this, if you can call any of this reality, is that these goofs don’t play golf, knit, or make birdhouses. This is their hobby. They spend (most of them claim) upwards of six hours a day, cooking, and shelving, and building shit to prepare for the day when as they all seem to say, “the shit hits the fan.”

God bless ’em, they are demented. If we could file off the firing pins, we could just put up lawn signs: Crazy people: tickets $1.

Denise has a great post and some great pics you should see at Pass the Doucheys.

Proof that women are smarter than men? Olympia Snow and Susan Collins break with the GOP and support the White House on contraception issue. Scott Brown in Massachusetts choses to side with the GOP leadership.

The National Review called upon Newt to withdraw. As we predicted, he said they were being silly.

Paul Krugman has a great piece about the “Severe Conservative Syndrome.”

Grover Norquist reminds the faithful wingnuts why Mittens is ok;  he are just there to sign the papers  presented to him. By you, know the people Grover trusts to “do the right thing”–like Paul Ryan for instance.

Don’t know if you heard about the Mississippian legislator that wanted to rename the Gulf of Mexico, the Gulf of America wherever it touches the precious land of Miss. (He now says it was satirical) Anyway, Rachel Maddow called for a renaming contest and here are some of the entries. Thought you might get a laugh.

Larry Harris: The Gulf of Messy-co

Tom Joad: The Best Damn Gulf Money Can Buy.

Andrew Tex La Brier: Can we call it a “7-11 Big Gulf”?

Don Scott: Here be dragons…

Josh Smith: The Body of Oil Formerly Known as the Gulf of Mexico

Anne Hetmaniak: The Gulf of “WHAT COLOR IS THIS WATER ANYWAY”?

Paul S. Campbell: The Firth of Filth

Adrian Bailey: Rename Mexico Rich, and America Poor, so the Gulf is between Rich and Poor?

Angeni Lemieux: The Big Ass Lake of Texas. Soon to be included as one of the Great Lakes.

peanut9000: The Breach of Contract

Herb Hicks: Gulf of Crimson Tide…..The Bear did walk on the water of this gulf

And my personal favorite….

NewOrleansWinosaur: The White-Is-Right-Baby-Jesus Gulf of Drill, Baby, Drill!!

I got me a big bunch of flowers, roses and such, and a perdy card for Valentine’s Day. And I made the Contrarian his favorite chocolate cake, and I’m making him a nice New York Strip with Bernaise sauce and some “new taters” roasted up real nice and a side of broccoli, sauted with olive oil, garlic, balsamic vinegar, and your basic salt and pepper.

Hope you got the love too dear friends.

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