11 | February | 2012 | Existential Ennui

Tags

Catholic Church, contraception, Election 2012, Mitt Romney, Obama, tea party, teabaggers

‘Kay, this is pretty easy.

1. Within a couple of decades, Merika is gonna be more “colored” than not. More brown, more black, more ABW (anything but white).

2. White dudes have traditionally not had a good record of making nice with people who are OTW (other than white).

3. White dudes figure their “way of life” is in deep poo in the coming years.

4. Solution: gain control of them “others” right now, and force/train/indoctrinate them into “acting” white so we can still live like we “always have.”

5. Wrap all your evil machinations in words like freedom, the Constitution, Founding Fathers, God-given, liberty, free market capitalism, and call all stuff you don’t like, commie, fascist, socialistic, Islamofascist, European, alien, nanny-state dependence. Got it?

The Romney Horror Picture Show continues as our boy Willard continues to scoot further and further right in order to be “Mr. Conservative” or as he now calls it “severely Conservative.”

And worst of all, the conversation is not about the economy any more, but about social issues. And Ricky forces Willard to be more homophobic, and more anti-contraceptive with each passing day.

And in one week, the GOP has managed to offend the gay community and women in general. Not that they haven’t offended before, but they really went out of their way.

Don’t tell them that “it’s the economy stupid,” cause they like to talk about sex a LOT.

That would be Newt, Ricky, Ron and Mitt.

They thought they might make a play for the mentally challenged.

Until somebody pointed out, that such folks probably don’t vote.

But, back stage, they still light to delight in the fantasy that they are super heroes, so they dress up.

They vehemently reject being called cross-dressers however.

Vehemently.

Vehemently. Seriously.

Democrats are serious bummed about one thing though.

The Republicans hold the record for the world’s longest held orgasm.

Yes they do.

It’s called CPAC.

And the crowning moment of ecstasy will be when Miss Sarah speaks. And they all wonder about what could have been. I mean they wonder, when they aren’t otherwise engaged with their “parts” doing stuff under the table with their junk.

I swear it’s true. Ask Ricky. He’s the head of Sex Matters.

Have you noticed that most of the panel discussions about the contraception mandate have been overwhelmingly male?

Are you aware that polling continues to show that women, Catholic or otherwise overwhelmingly favor contraception being part of a health care plan, whether offered in a secular business or one run by a religious organization?

Are you aware that some very savvy women are suggesting that the Obama administration is either incredibly lucky or they are brilliant in putting this forth where we could, (1) have a national conversation about whether a religious organization who receives federal monies under various grants, can deny coverage to the janitors, nurses, and teachers who wish it, and require they spend their own money? (2) declare a solution whereby the religious group is not required to pay for the coverage (3) require the insurance company to “pay” for the coverage when the insurance company is happy to comply because contraception coverage is a zero sum to them, prenatal and other pregnancy related services being vastly more expensive, (4) force the GOP to come out and virtually begin arguing that contraception is not a good thing, thus adding to their anti-women’s health persona, (5) come just in time to push Santorum to the front, thus forcing Romney to defense once again to stave off another challenger, pushing him even farther to the right, and thus setting up a perfect storm of crazy to run against? (6) and finally, proving to the great Independent voter that the GOP has little if any interest in jobs, but prefers to hang out with the tinfoil crew that is their base?

And tell me I shouldn’t love this election year?

Go ahead, tell me.

And with that, my dear friends, enjoy your weekend.