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Careful where you walk. Don’t get anything on your shoes.

And for God’s sake, if it looks wet and mushy, don’t throw it away!

No, no, it’s got nothing to do with the Super Bowl.

That went fine.

No, my damn head exploded yesterday.

So, if you don’t mind, we could use a little help in finding my missing grey matter and returning it to its home, inside my head.

You may ask how this happened.

I’m not sure I should relate it, because it might start one in your head to. So I recommend you wrap your head tightly in Saran wrap (with suitable breathing holes of course) before proceeding.

I was sitting at my laptop yesterday, just minding my own business, answering some e-mails and just generally chillin’ until the pre-game stuff started. Just listening to some Sunday news fare, as I am wont to. And then the words flew by and seared my brain, causing it to pop audibly and begin to swell exponentially. And then, well, all hell broke loose as they say. Grey goo was spewing forth from my ears, eyes, nose and mouth. It’s damned unfortunate that the brain has so many natural exits so close together.

What caused it?

This statement:

And that’s why I’m not gonna tell anybody for whom I voted. It would destroy my objectivity as a journalist. Somebody has to be a journalist in this situation!

And who said it?

Rush.

No seriously, hold on to your head!

I mean  objectivity and Rush are polar opposites. They repel one another. They are not allowed in the same room together, nay the same continent.

When informed of the coupling, “objectivity” rent her clothes and scooped ashes upon herself and crawled under the bed. The shame was unimaginable. Objectivity demands that she be removed from the Oxford Dictionary immediately, never to be used in polite society again.

But, worse is in store. Journalism! Oh the inhumanity. Journalism passed the renting and ashing, and went straight to the gun cabinet. Journalism, is locked and loaded. He has called out Rush at High Noon. He  snarls that he will not allow this insult to go unanswered.

I know not what petri dish the Limpster was created in or by what Frankensteinian man scientist, but decent people must be protected.

And would you please pitch in and help me locate my right prefrontal? It’s hard to type without it.

I think I told you about dampsquid. He’s demented. He writes some of the funniest stuff around. You must read him, and subscribe so you never miss one of his posts. His latest is about “buttons“. Go read it.

After you laugh yourself silly, explore more emotions by going over to Mark and Angel Hack Life and read about 99 tiny stories that make you think, smile and cry. Betcha can’t read ’em all without doing all three.

Was it just me, or were most of the Super Bowl ads flat? The Bud ads sucked. I must admit, looking over David Beckham’s torso at length was pleasant.

I picked this up from Juanita Jean’s and thought it was funny, and pretty darn right on.

It is endless.

The GOP joke producing machine I mean.

This stuff writes itself.

Don’t tell anyone. Everybody might start doing this, and I would lose my status.

I think I’m listed at about 325,974 most favorite blog in Iowa.

I have to protect my image and brilliance.

By the way, I checked.

Brilliant is just pleased as punch to cozy up with me. She purrs when I get close. She says she loves only me.

Didn’t know that words could talk? You haven’t been listening.

I’m assuming these are members of Willard’s family (Willard is what EVERYBODY is calling him now).

I am at a loss as to how this came to be.

I am at a loss how under any theory, anybody in Willard’s entourage thought this would be a good photo-op.

I suspect he got away from his handlers again.

And went off to be Mitt! Which is why he is an idiot.

Are you like me?

Hehe, well, perhaps you don’t want to be. I can understand that.

But in watching the Chrysler ad yesterday, the one with Clint Eastwood? I was immediately confused.

It sure sounded like a pro-Obama ad. We’re at half-time, which could easily be seen as “mid-way in a two-term presidency” and it was pro-auto recovery, and that was certainly Obama’s doing. I mean Willard said that GM should have been forced into bankruptcy.

So what gives? (Eastwood is a Republican and supported McCain, and then Cain of all people this year)

Tim Tebow is saying he might go into politics.

What?

Hey are you snoring?

Well, hmmmmph. I’m out of here.  

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