In truth, (and why would I lie), I have never aspired to be a vulcanologist.
No, not a studier of Vulcans, as in Mr. Spock and the planet Vulcan, where live a rather stiff and sober people who preceded Earthlings in all things civilized and learned the error of war and all negative emotions and so live with a tight ass all the time.
No, not them.
And before any of you otherwise anal types starts to send me a comment that I spelled it wrong, I didn’t. It can be spelled either with a U or an O. So there not-so-smarty pants.
No, I am not talking about other inhabited planets in the galaxy let alone the universe which leads to another whole dilemma of travel issues.
No.
I am talking about this kind of Volcanology: 
Pretty huh?
Except.
Well.
I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about Yellowstone.
It is what they call a “super volcano”.
Not a pretty one that just sends up plumbs of pretty fire and lovely play-doughy lava rolling slowly to the ocean. Such can be found in Hawaii, which is nothing but a bunch of volcanoes all in a line.
No Yellowstone is a monster.
It blew up, near as they can tell, about 600,000 years ago. They don’t have the science to determine the loop time, til the next time.
Hence, my dilemma and my worry.
It could go at any moment.
Well not quite any moment.
They have sensors all over the place and they’ll have some warning. A few hours maybe. Maybe more. It’s not very precise.
But when she goes, she’ll (volcanoes are girls) gonna take out a solid 2,000 square miles in one gulp.
I figure that means me.
Now, the scratch-your-head conundrum here is that old Yeller ain’t in the “ring of fire” or what is otherwise known as the “Pacific Rim” wherein most nasty volcanoes lie. (Which brings to mind that the Contrarian always thought that Johnny Cash’s song, “Ring of Fire” would be a fitting little ditty to accompany a Preparation H commercial. Think about it) Anyway, there is a reason for this. It is a super volcano and its neck stretches some 4,000 miles DOWN which means I guess that it connects with the CORE. None of which can be any good.
So I worry.
I hope you are now worrying too.
I hate to worry alone.
Oh, and the Bay of Naples has a similar gigantic underwater bulge of a super duper volcano too. So you guys can worry too.
Ahhh, I feel better somehow now.
Psst: PeaNuts® and other rightwing batshit crazies, continue to keep your useless heads in the sand. This was meant for rational people.
♦
And now just a skip down memory lane. Remember, nostalgia is best experienced within a few hours of the past.
I don’t know about you, but I been holding my breath, and have been exceedingly bored with the “new Newt”.
I love the old Newt.
The snarly belligerent windbag that is all too sure that he’s the smartest human on the planet. He’s my kinda guy.
I can still hear him after his meteoric rise in the polls, “It’s pretty clear that I’m going to be the nominee.”
Yeah, it was pretty clear. And then you kept on talking Newt, and well, we are back to square one. Please do make these last debates worthwhile. Give ’em hell as only a petulant loser can.
So far, Santorum seems not to be making much headway in New Hampshire.
His pie hole seems obsessed with arguing about gay rights and “social issues” that New Hampshirites seem to reject as “none your business”.
This seems to happen to all my “not Mittens” candidates. They talk.
It ruins their poll numbers.
And it doesn’t appear that Ricky S is gonna do all that well in South Carolina, or North. I get them confused.
Ya see, him and Jimmy DeMint aren’t exactly friendly.
Which is why Ricky P may have stayed in the race.
Meanwhile, Michele (he is too straight) Bachmann retired from the fray.
Actually, she’s getting praise for that, being the only one who apparently can read her numbers. Unlike Ricky P, who just looks sad most of the time like a puppy who has lost his toy.
And did ya hear? Here is coming out AFTER the New Hampshire primary with his endorsement. But it’s gonna be a really different endorsement, so he says.
Perhaps he’s gonna endorse Sarah Palin and himself as VEEP. Oh, I mean Secretary of Defense. Sarah would be happy to do that. She still asks Black folk “does it wash off?”, there not being a lot of darker skinned people in Alaska ya know.
Speaking’ of which I read her last little “analysis” on Foxy Noise. She has a corner 
on word salad.
Hey, if I’m not mistaken the average sentence of any GOP mouth, mentions “where are the jobs” Obama? And are not these the same folks who when confronted with the OWS protesters, tell them to “go out and get a job!” ? I’m confused.
Maybe Mr. Trump can u confuse me. If he can find his way out of his hair.
What must it be like to be the offspring of such a douche?
See, thinking of things like that, makes your own life seem ever so much better.
Until you start thinking about Yellowstone, that is.
Related articles
- Santorum Asks for ‘Any Help’ from Palin (crooks and liars.com)
- The Desperation of Little Ricky: Santorum Asks Palin for Help to Stay in the Clown Car (pamshouseblend.firedoglake.com)
- Is a powerful sleeping volcano in Europe getting restless? (ctv.ca)
Existential Ennui 
Yellowstone ain’t squat! We in Southern California have to constantly worry about falling into the Pacific ocean.
Relax! Only L.A. and Baja supposed to Slide away: To Alaska.
Agreed Tony, and we wouldn’t miss em
Yeah, but that’s a freakin’ given in California! This Yellerstony thing is a hidden giant! and frankly my dear we don’t give a damn should California get separated from the rest of us. Seriously. we don’t. lol
“…where live a rather stiff and sober people who preceded Earthlings in all things civilized and learned the error of war and all negative emotions and so live with a tight ass all the time.”
No, I think you mean Catholics.
As for Gingrich, I suspect that the “old Newt” isn’t too far beneath the surface of the new one.
Aw heck, most Catholics are more liberal than you think. In fact it drives the crazy right Catholics utterly mad. Something like 95% of all Catholics practice birth control and a strong majority favor marriage equality.
Sherry — I’m glad to hear about open-minded Catholics. I’m still dealing with some residual bitterness from my Catholic upbringing.
Oh gosh Ahab there are a lot of us, lurking in the background, attempting to live out our beliefs in a way that is generous and loving towards all. Truly, I suspect there are more liberal Catholics than conservative, but of course, we face a lot of blow back from the hierarchy so we tend to be quieter. lol
Gov. Perry I think realized he can’t drop out until after the date of that blasphemous ‘Prayer day’ for South Carolina mid-Jan (which he promised to attend back in the headier days).
I was a little surprised to learn that Santorum is a Roman Catholic after having ‘profiled’ him as a raving evangelical – but I know the RC has a scary ultra-conservative wing. He made a mistake when he dissed JFK’s own great campaign principle of separation of politics from personal religious convictions. For Santorum to call that a wrong turn and a ‘crisis of conscience’ shows he is unfit to govern or even to teach a basic ethics course.
I found out that Ricky S. married late (age 32) and his bride was a young woman he met just before deciding to run for public office – and while he was recruiting summer interns for his law firm. So the lady comes in for an interview trying her best to make a good first impression – and Rick falls in love. But doesn’t the whole scenario border on what we now call sexual harrassment? Males are not supposed to try to get dates from females who are beholden to them for hiring and firing. Some men need that bit of extra assurance that they are the ones ‘in charge’ of the relationship. With all due respect, of course. Let’s assume she did not get the job and the whole thing is on the up and up. I know these things happen quite innocently at times – aren’t I wicked to try to make something of it?
Yes Santorum is part of that very very ultra orthodox bunch of Catholics who frankly scare me too. They tend to be otherwise teapartiers with their dislike for any government support programs (they like their charity personal so they can control who gets it.) And Santorum is against contraception. There are some awful horror stories about some of these Catholics and their ignoring medical advice and continuing to have unprotected sex when a pregnancy is advised as seriously dangerous. “god’s will” and all folks. Interesting info on Ricky’s marriage. I never have read about his background much.
The Santorums’ last pregnancy (2008) came with both in their 40s (when we all know condoms are a good call because there are greater risks of birth defects) and the poor child was born with a serious problem (one which, in fact, is usually detectable in utero so that abortion becomes an option).
I’m not smiling here, but only saying solemnly that two separate private family decisions seem to have been made by the Santorums in regard to their last pregnancy which Rick, if President, will attempt to stop the rest of us Americans from making for ourselves – because we will have both choices made for us by his administration.
yeah, the Santorums wouldn’t use them no doubt, and would never abort. It must be nice never to struggle with real issues but simply to allow some other institution make all your decisions. I find that simplistic. Trouble is, nobody has to live the life of the child born with so many difficulties.
On another note: I FINALLY did it. I googled “santorum.” That explains everything. There’s got to be something in the Constitution that forbids a person from becoming president if their last name stands for something vile and disgusting. Of course, that would extend to Gingrich as well.
Ah, you discovered Santorum’s “Google problem,” courtesy of Dan Savage and his fans.
lol…thanks to Michael Savage! I think some people think now that his last name actually means that. Oh God it’s too funny. Newt has forever ruined the poor reputation of those little salamanders.
Frankly…. at first….. I thought your blog title was a answer to a jeopardy question….”What would Sarah Palin do to be President?” oh nevermind… I will go back and watch football.
lol…or the whale. I thought of Ahab and Moby dick. Go back to the game–oh they are over.