She’s Gonna Blow!!

In truth, (and why would I lie), I have never aspired to be a vulcanologist.

No, not a studier of Vulcans, as in Mr. Spock and the planet Vulcan, where live a rather stiff and sober people who preceded Earthlings in all things civilized and learned the error of war and all negative emotions and so live with a tight ass all the time.

No, not them.

And before any of you otherwise anal types starts to send me a comment that I spelled it wrong, I didn’t. It can be spelled either with a U or an O. So there not-so-smarty pants.

No, I am not talking about other inhabited planets in the galaxy let alone the universe which leads to another whole dilemma of travel issues.

No.

I am talking about this kind of Volcanology:

Pretty huh?

Except.

Well.

I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about Yellowstone.

It is what they call a “super volcano”.

Not a pretty one that just sends up plumbs of pretty fire and lovely play-doughy lava rolling slowly to the ocean. Such can be found in Hawaii, which is nothing but a bunch of volcanoes all in a line.

No Yellowstone is a monster.

It blew up, near as they can tell, about 600,000 years ago. They don’t have the science to determine the loop time, til the next time.

Hence, my dilemma and my worry.

It could go at any moment.

Well not quite any moment.

They have sensors all over the place and they’ll have some warning. A few hours maybe. Maybe more. It’s not very precise.

But when she goes, she’ll (volcanoes are girls) gonna take out a solid 2,000 square miles in one gulp.

I figure that means me.

Now, the scratch-your-head conundrum here is that old Yeller ain’t in the “ring of fire” or what is otherwise known as the “Pacific Rim” wherein most nasty volcanoes lie. (Which brings to mind that the Contrarian always thought that Johnny Cash’s song, “Ring of Fire” would be a fitting little ditty to accompany a Preparation H commercial. Think about it) Anyway, there is a reason for this. It is a super volcano and its neck stretches some 4,000 miles DOWN which means I guess that it connects with the CORE. None of which can be any good.

So I worry.

I hope you are now worrying too.

I hate to worry alone.

Oh, and the Bay of Naples has a similar gigantic underwater bulge of a super duper volcano too. So you guys can worry too.

Ahhh, I feel better somehow now.

Psst: PeaNuts® and other rightwing batshit crazies, continue to keep your useless heads in the sand. This was meant for rational people.

And now just a skip down memory lane. Remember, nostalgia is best experienced within a few hours of the past.

I don’t know about you, but I been holding my breath, and have been exceedingly bored with the “new Newt”.

I love the old Newt.

The snarly belligerent windbag that is all too sure that he’s the smartest human on the planet. He’s my kinda guy.

I can still hear him after his meteoric rise in the polls, “It’s pretty clear that I’m going to be the nominee.”

Yeah, it was pretty clear. And then you kept on talking Newt, and well, we are back to square one. Please do make these  last debates worthwhile. Give ‘em hell as only a petulant loser can.

So far, Santorum seems not to be making much headway in New Hampshire.

His pie hole seems obsessed with arguing about gay rights and “social issues” that New Hampshirites seem to reject as “none your business”.

This seems to happen to all my “not Mittens” candidates. They talk.

It ruins their poll numbers.

And it doesn’t appear that Ricky S is gonna do all that well in South Carolina, or North. I get them confused.

Ya see, him and Jimmy DeMint aren’t exactly friendly.

Which is why Ricky P may have stayed in the race.

Meanwhile, Michele (he is too straight) Bachmann retired from the fray.

Actually, she’s getting praise for that, being the only one who apparently can read her numbers. Unlike Ricky P, who just looks sad most of the time like a puppy who has lost his toy.

And did ya hear? Here is coming out AFTER the New Hampshire primary with his endorsement. But it’s gonna be a really different endorsement, so he says.

Perhaps he’s gonna endorse Sarah Palin and himself as VEEP. Oh, I mean Secretary of Defense. Sarah would be happy to do that. She still asks Black folk “does it wash off?”, there not being a lot of darker skinned people in Alaska ya know.

Speaking’ of which I read her last little “analysis” on Foxy Noise. She has a corner on word salad.

Hey, if I’m not mistaken the average sentence of any GOP mouth, mentions “where are the jobs” Obama? And are not these the same folks who when confronted with the OWS protesters, tell them to “go out and get a job!” ? I’m confused.

Maybe Mr. Trump can u confuse me. If he can find his way out of his hair.

What must it be like to be the offspring of such a douche?

See, thinking of things like that, makes your own life seem ever so much better.

Until you start thinking about Yellowstone, that is.