04 | October | 2011 | Existential Ennui

Tags

capital punishment, Chris Christie, ESPN, Football, GOP, Hank Williams Jr, Herman Cain, Humor, racism, Rick Perry, Sports, teabaggers

Herm, my main man! (or Herb as sista Sarah so fondly calls ya). Listen up dude.

It’s not always easy to learn the ways of the House, so a bit of re-education is in order.

Now we very much liked your statements to your people that they were “brainwashed”. Course that is true, and it is not inappropriate at all to inject race in such a “right” way.

But your condemnation of Ricky (homeboy) Perry for being “insensitive” by not obliterating that sign on his family-leased retreat playground, after all these years? Well that, buddy, was not right.

You look confused?

Okay, Herm. Here’s how it goes. You are like a Spartan warrior, with your big old shield of protection. You stand between them (all those uppity folks black and white and brown, heck any color at all who are always with that socialist/Commie agenda of given away health care and housing and food for free) and us, the God-fearing, God-lovin’ God-blessed patriots of the real America.

You got that? Okay.

When they claim that we are racist and all that bilge, you say “uhuh, no way. Cuz, I’m a black man, and I’m with them, and they are supporting me as a candidate for president of the US of A. Therefore, they aren’t racist, no way, no how.”

You see how that goes Herm?

So, when you jump on our boy Perry, who’s one of us, (never mind that rock man, it was from a long time ago, and we are so over race now–remember MLK and “content of character, not color of skin!”) man you really send the wrong signal to us, your peeps.

See, we accuse all them blacks who call us racists, racists. And that is way cool, because it deflects attention from us, and places it where it belongs–on them. They are “playin’ the race card” and you know we hate that.

So man, when you jump on Perry, you are doin’ the black thing, ya see, “playin’ the race card.” And we can’t have that in our House Negro. It violates your very purpose of being. If ya wanna go that way, then we are gonna stop dribbling money your way to keep your candidacy alive.

And if we don’t throw you a bit of change now and then, dude, you’re toast. You gettin’ the picture Herm? You’re the shield. You don’t think. You just do your job and we’ll all be fine.

Now you go out there and walk back that criticism of Rick. And we’ll see about lettin’ ya have a bit more green for your pretend run at the White House. White House? Get that? White?

I told you he would get in trouble for his “criticism” yesterday. And so it goes. If you don’t believe me, read Chauncey de Vega. Twice, read him here too!

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Even the moronic group of Fox Morning Gag were taken aback when Hank Williams Junior, compared President Obama to Hitler and called him the enemy. ESPN promptly cancelled his opening theme song for NFL games.

But of course, Hank is now the darling of the TeaNutz®. They are urging a boycott of ESPN until they return Hank to the opening of Monday Night Football. And lo and behold, old jackass Hank is contemplating a run from Tennessee for Congress. Well bless his little old shrunk and bloodless heart.

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And the great rotunda speaks! And the answer is no. And we knew it would be. And the right-wing blubberers will have to continue the search for somebody, anybody, who can speak without making a jackass out of themselves and NOT be Mormon. (Wonder what’s going on in Sarah’s brain case?)

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There is a reason that I oppose capital punishment. In fact there are several reasons. First I like to think that we are evolving as a nation and as a race (the human one I mean). Murdering the murderer is simply the easiest, most thoughtless way of dealing with a problem.

But paramount to all my reasons is the fact that we live in an imperfect world where humans still make mistakes, and the judicial system has forever known that it was capable of making plenty of them.

It seems to me that it was the illustrious Oliver Wendell Holmes who said that it was better that a hundred guilty go free than that one innocent be convicted.

Convicted! Not executed.

In Texas, a man, incarcerated for twenty-five (25) years, has been released based on DNA evidence that proved conclusively that the man was innocent. He was serving a life sentence. If he had been given the death penalty, in all likelihood he would have been dead by now.

And Perry says he sleeps well at night. And the right-wing express claps its hands in glee at the thought that Texas leads the nation in killing off its prisoners. And innocents die.

And if Troy Davis’ death is to mean anything, we must continue to fight for life. Oh yeah, the lifers, those right-wing fanatics that can’t wait to rush into the womb of any woman and control her body in the name of life, well they purely see it so very different when it comes to this don’t they?