What Will They Do Next?

Tags

Election 2012, Entertainment, GOP, Herman Cain, Kim Kardashian, Newt Gingrich, Pat Robertson, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul

I’m betting on an elimination roller derby myself.

You cannot make this stuff up.

Perry appears in New Hampshire and giggles and makes sad little jokes, and talks funny and appears for all the world to be either drunk or on drugs. I’d opt for the latter. I mean seriously dude, seldom has one fallen so far so fast. Hope you had a parachute.

It seems that nothing Perry at this point resonates with anyone. His big money backers who were salivating at the thoughts of being able to control government money on a bigger stage, must be pained. He’s been such a huge asset in Texas. The human price tag they call him.

Meanwhile Ricky Santorum is visiting the 99th county in Iowa this week. That’s a first. And much to the dismay of old “Don’t Google me”, it is making zero importance to the fine folks of Iowa. In fact Ricky should take a lesson from the front-runners in Iowa, Cain and Romney. Of all the candidates, they have spent the least time in the Hawkeye state. Ya see, Rick, we vote for those who stay the hell out of our fair state. We don’t like people generally.

And then there is Herm Cain, now embroiled in yet another controversy. This one involves the perennial GOP problem–messin’ with “wimmin” not their wives. Herm denies he “ever sexually harassed” anyone, but admits that that charge was made. He claims the investigation proved the charges to be false. Except that the “settlement” is hidden under a non-disclosure agreement. I don’t think Herm’s “I didn’t do it, end of story,” won’t be flying this one away. And of course the Right will accuse the Left of starting this vicious lie because we are “terrified” of Mr. Cain. Yeah.

I also hear that some folks in the GOP are willing to give Grifter Newt another look. Look all ya want folks, he’s still a grifter. And by the way, by saying that, you make it so clear that you are looking for ANYBODY but Mitty. God could any one man be that unloved? Jon Huntsman calls him the “human weathervane” and nothing truer could be said. Mitt fairly turns himself inside out to follow which way the wind is blowing.

All this goes on while Ron Paul continues his best imitation of a crotchety old man. “Get government out of here!” No wars! No health care! No social security! Return to wagons and horses! Don’t need paved roads, daggummit, dirt is good enough! Repeal income taxes! Grow your own! Paint your wagon! Raise a pig! Make me president, and I’ll sit on the porch and chew me a piece of hay! Nothing to do! I can do that! Been doing nothing for years in Congress! Elect me!

Michele Bachmann. -0-

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If you don’t think that the GOP has gotten willywonkerish enough, well Pat Robertson does. No less than the crazy 700 Club leader who blames all disasters on God’s anger at liberals, is warning the GOP crazy Right that they are “going too far.” Jon Stewart did a great piece on this last week. As he pointed out, Robertson isn’t suggesting that the Right is saying wrong things, no not at all. Only that they are saying them out loud, and might turn off the MAJORITY OF VOTERS. So Pat’s lesson is simply, keep our really crazy agenda to yourselves so we can win this election, and THEN we’ll explain to them how we are going to turn this country into a theocracy.

♦

Oh this just in.

I am not a person who pays much attention to Hollywood, and the entertainment business in general (Johnny Depp excepted). However, lest we come to believe that only politicians are capable of being insanely, irreparably crazy nuts, rest assured that that bastion of loopy-ville, Holly-Wood still is more than capable of sending one into “What the F. . K?”

I don’t know who the Kardashians are. I truly don’t. I know there are a bunch of them, girls and boys. I know that Bruce Jenner, (who goes to the same plastic surgeon as Kenny Rogers and Wayne Newton), is married to the mother of the clan. I know that Kardashian is an Armenian name.

I know that one of them, the Kim one, got married recently. I know this only because Rachael Ray (the cook) fawns over the entire brood shamelessly and I “watch” her show as I work on the computer because there is nothing else on. I know the wedding was tres chic and cost more than most of us make in same three lifetimes.

Well, after 72 days of wedded bliss Miss Kim is divorcing the dude she married, who is probably somebody I should know, but don’t. Dang, and Rachael taught her how to cook a meal for her hubby too! Drat, my day is ruined now.

Comments on People Magazine website: from TyRetrO: “I’ve lost all respect for the Kardashians”. Wow, like where would you go to get some to start with?

Keep your powder dry! Referring to powder puffs you silly war mongers. 

 

Related articles

• What Happens to Cain and the GOP Field? (politicalwire.com
• Herman Cain Sexual Harassment Accusations: GOP Presidential Candidate Denies Politico Report (huffingtonpost.com)

Bring In the Clowns

Tags

economists, economy, environment, global warming, Humor, Koch Brothers, marriage, personal relationships, political humor, psychology

I used to like clowns. Until they became evil. Now I don’t like them.

Anyway, have a happy Halloween. We don’t get trick or treaters back here in the hollow. So I don’t carve pumpkins. I eat pumpkin instead.

The candidates all were invited to go to a Halloween party I’m told. They all chose to go as clowns.

Campaign managers across the board suggested that might be dressing too close to the mark.

So they are going as statesmen and women, something none of them need worry that they will ever be confused as.

♦

The poor Northeast is getting smacked with a very early year snow storm. I feel for them. Not enough however to wish it were here instead. Here it’s sunny. And seasonable. And the leaves are falling still. I don’t think they can keep that up much longer without become bereft of foliage.  Oh as to that October Nor’easter, that’s not climate change. In case you were wondering.

 Just ask the Koch brothers. They funded a climate change skeptic to prove that the data was all wrong. Except he didn’t. He said it was true. Funny how the MSM, you know, the media that is supposed to be squarely in the lap of progressives, hasn’t much mentioned that. But the Koch brothers and their minions will continue to deny climate change because it suits their interests.  

♦

There is a long but very interesting article at The Atlantic about the changing ideas about romantic relationships. Kate Bolick’s experiences as a child were not at all like mine. Her mother urged her to find herself as a woman and not “settle” for domesticity until she found an emotionally satisfying relationship. My mother, never understood my independence nor could she get why I wasn’t married. I married on the verge of middle age, 49. (Yes, as you age, you push middle age further and further down the road kiddies.)

Where are all the good men? They were there in her 20’s and 30’s. Now they seem to have disappeared from the landscape, leaving only the failures and the predators. But are women looking for the wrong things? The 50’s model of marriage might well be nothing more than a blip on the screen, and not at all what has been normal throughout history.

It’s a long read, but a really interesting and informative one. It’s Saturday. Relax. Or mark it for tomorrow and some lazy day reading.

♦

If you want to engage in some more serious reading, I recommend this one from The Nation. Entitled, How the Austerity Class Rules Washington, it documents the long history of how a minority economic theory has gained control of not only the Republican party, but has controlled the dialogue in Washington. Deficit hawks have gained ascendency and “cut taxes, cut programs”,  plays well to the great uneducated masses who think it makes sense. After all, who doesn’t get–“You are in debt? Stop spending so much.” 

The fact that this is not the way to end a recession has been lost in a howling of cut, cut, cut. Very worth the read.

♦

And since it’s Saturday.

And since I like ya.

Romney puts the “R” in relative. As in “my opinion is relative.”

As in “My opinion is relative as to whether it helps or hurts me with the voters.’

As in “My opinion is relative as to whether it helps or hurts me with the voters. . ., today.”

As in “Tell me what my opinion should be, today.”

As in “I barely have an opinion that I am alive.”

Gingrich puts the G in “go look up the word Grifter.

Or in the word “getting”.

As in “I’m getting your money and giving nothing back in return except more bills.”

As in, “I’m getting to enjoy making a living by funneling off ‘expenses’ from all of my bogus organizations that I set up for the collection of donations to my lifestyle.

As in, “I’m glad you people are this stupid. I might have to actual find a job otherwise.”

As in, ” I never met a scam I didn’t like.”

Cain puts the C in “Can I interest you in this fine used car.”

As in, “Can I count on your being slightly stupider than me?”

As in, “Can you buy my book.?”

As in, “Can you tell me tell me anything about any foreign country?”

As in, “Can I dance a little soft-shoe for ya?”

As in, “Can you believe that all my supporters are white people?”

And just cuz:

What’s on the Stove? Stuffed portabella mushrooms and homemade onion rings. Recipes to follow on the food site. 

Related articles

• Koch brothers accidentally fund study that proves global warming (csmonitor.com)
• Is Herman Cain, GOP Clown of the Week, the Koch Bros’ Manchurian Candidate? (my.firedoglake.com)

Supply-Side Blankets

Tags

animals, baseball, evolution, Herman Cain, Humor, OWS, Rick Perry, the brain, The Contrarian, World Series

The Contrarian and I seldom go to bed at the same time.

Last night, I happened to awaken just as he was getting into the bed.

“Hey, hey, hey,” I uttered.

“What?” he intoned.

“You’re stealing the blankets!”

“I’m not settled yet,” he grunted. “It’s supply-side blankets.”

“WHAT?”

“When I’m settled, the blankets will trickle down.” he chuckled.

I never slept a wink last night.

♦

I confess that I never thought animals were terribly thoughtful. I figured they were pretty much responsive to stimuli creatures. Brandy taught us otherwise. We learned from her that dogs at least can think and plan, and make choices. A new dimension has been added as we watch Bear cope with her absence.

Bear didn’t seem to express the typical mourning we expected, though he looked for her a lot, and avoids her grave. He went there once that we know of, removing a rawhide bone we had left in her dish and bringing it back to drop at the Contrarian’s feet.

Over time, we noticed a real oddity. The two had always had their own idiosyncracies. Brandy would lay impatiently in the doorway to the kitchen while we ate. Bear would lay elsewhere. Now he has taken up that position each day. When snacks are eaten at night, again, she was the pushy one, wiggling and twitching at each bite. He would lay back, appearing to not care. Now he does the wiggling and twitching. 

It is like he feels that he must take over all her behaviors as well as his own. We don’t know how he thinks about this, but clearly he is pondering his role within the house.

An article on recursive thinking, long thought to be the province of humans only, is being re-examined. Recursive thinking is the human ability to look backward in time at distant events, and then place them in future scenarios. Studies now suggest that chimpanzees engage in such thinking, and certainly I saw instances of Brandy doing the same as she planned how to get Bear off the couch so she could have it.

We are all of us living beings so much more alike than we are different. Evolution tells me so. 🙂

♦

See the new Herm Cain ad? The one with his campaign manager smoking? Seems that his manager has some “issues”. Charges of voter suppression that got him banned in Wisconsin for three years, drunk driving convictions, foreclosures, unpaid bills and taxes.

Yesterday, I picked up this on MSNBC talk shows: The Cain campaign is in utter disarray since Cain is conflicted between his “book tour” agenda and where the VOTERS ARE. Also we understand that new campaign staff are informed that under no circumstances are they to speak to the king unless the king speaks to them first.  Doncha love that kind of stuff?

♦

I was just a thinkin’ (dangerous I know). I’m really surprised that the scientific community doesn’t make more of  this, along the lines of the possible finding of faster-than-light particles. I mean it is revolutionary in a scientific sense. What do I mean?

Why the fact that “trickle-down” economics is a perfect proof that money at least doesn’t always obey the laws of gravity. The money seems to go up, instead of falling down.

Just a thought.

♦

Do you find it tiresome that the clueless Right continues to whine that the OWS folks have no “message” and then likens them to anarchists?  Are they unable to read the signs? Or is it that the Right is so attuned to the “talking point” that it can’t understand that people might just be individualistic enough to think for themselves and create signs that reflect that? Slate has a good article on this today.

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Need a laugh? Juanita Jean’s usually has one. This is Rolling Stones little nod to our boy Ricky (aww shucks, I ain’t no good at debatin’) Perry. This is The Best Little Whore in Texas. It’s Friday. It’s been a long week. Teaser: this description–“a goggle-eyed mega church Joan of Arc like Michele Bachmann”.  Or this one: “Perry is a human price tag”. Now that’s some writing I can love. It’s Mike Taibbi of course.

Seriously, if you want to know how Perry attracts money all the while being an awful speaker, this article gives  you a big clue. Long article but well worth it.

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I am a jinx. We turned Game 6 of the World Series off in disgust. In the 8th inning. Texas was up two runs. The Cardinal pitching was awful. There had been five errors, causing me to question how these could be the two best teams in the “world.” Course, it turned into an exciting game. And now there will be a Game 7. We will watch it. But. . . it will  undoubtedly be a no-hit one run winner for Texas. That’s my prediction, since I’m gonna watch it. If I don’t watch it, it will be 24-23 after 15 innings and the Cardinals will win.

What to do, what to do?

♦

If you needed any more evidence that Herm Cain is stupid, I mean really stupid? Well he went to Israel. And he refers to the Palestinians as the “so-called Palestinian people.” And he says that the only reason they want statehood is because Obama is so weak. Except that he was once in favor of a right of return policy. Sort of, as best he could understand what it meant. How can only a so-called people have a state to return to  Herm? And I think the desire for statehood on the part of the Palestinians might be a tad older than the three years Obama has been in office.

Do they not have a basic primer for you Herm? Can’t your smokin’ campaign manager find you a Dick and Jane version of world history? 

 

Related articles

• Cain: Foreign policy details aren’t important (firstread.msnbc.msn.com)

So Many Targets, I Need a Revolving Head

Tags

Ayn Rand, corporate America, GOP, Paul Ryan, wingnuts

Truth is, I sit here at the keyboard browsing through my reader, looking for something to resonate. And the choices are gargantuan. Shall I talk about the GOP talking head, Noelle Nikpour who was “interviewed” by Aasif Mondvi?

 She was a hoot, blathering on about how science was suspect because only  other scientists could judge another scientists work.  “How convenient!” she screeched. Why The American People can tell in their “guts” what science is real and which isn’t.

As Mondvi ridiculed her with ideas about “yeah, how dare another neurosurgeon decide whether your neurosurgeon did a good job on your head”, she nodded vacantly, not getting that she was being made a fool of.

Or, take Mark Rubio. I think he may be poison to whoever turns out to be the GOP nominee. His parents were exiles, who were forced out by Castro, and they family expected to return home to Cuba. What a nice bio that made. Except it wasn’t true. His parents were immigrants (big difference) and left years before Castro took over, and never made any attempt to return. Perfectly acceptable bio, but not one that gets the sympathy juices flowing.

But, today’s winner is Paul Ryan. (What is in the drinking water in Wisconsin?) I picked up on Ryan when the Orange Slush started touting him as the Republican economic genius, who was going to blow the Democrats out of the water with his new plan.

Except it didn’t. Everybody, very quickly realized that Ryan was a shill for big business and that high on his list of targeted programs was medicare and Medicaid and social security. Republicans, individually and then in droves began distancing themselves as little old ladies with blue hair and little old men with belts under their armpits descended upon local Republican congressional offices with canes and walkers waving semi-threateningly about.

And then I learned that Paul Ryan’s hero was Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand of Atlas Shrugged.

So, me, being the curious type, and needing a good excuse to read a bit of fiction, picked up the tomb (over 1,000 pages) and began. Then I skipped to the bio of Rand, and then I realized why she was writing this stupid stuff. Then I read, and read, and read, and, heck I even read the 79 page “speech” given by John Galt.

It’s a silly book. No one could conceivably take it seriously. Except Paul did. In fact, we understand that Ryan required all his staff to read it. It’ is his Maoist version of the  “little red book” .

This is nothing new to regular readers of this blog. I’ve written about my long journey through Atlas Shrugged (use the search engine here) and my thoughts about it. Rand was an émigré from Russia, after the Revolution. Her family fared badly at the hands of communism. Her books MUST be read in light of her hatred.

But Paulie thinks that her theories about economics are actually accurate. So he referred in a recent stop at the Heritage Foundation that:

“We’re coming close to a tipping point in America where we might have a net majority of takers versus makers in society and that could become very dangerous if it sets in as a permanent condition.

As anyone who has read Rand knows, these are purely her words. Charles P. Pierce, in his, dare I say, scathing article in Esquire, literally guts Ryan and his thinking. Like Rand herself, Ryan had no philosophical qualms about taking  government money, much as he rails against the very programs themselves.

Greg Sargent at the Washington Post, takes apart the entire speech, showing that as usual, the GOP and Ryan in particular deal in falsehood, and the usual politics of convenience.  While it plays to the extreme right-wing to claim that Obama and the Democrats are engaging in “class warfare”, quite clearly the American people do not buy it.

I guess what I come away with from Ryan’s speech is that it is but another example of  TeaNutz® pandering. Tell the lie, tell it often, and don’t worry. You’re talking to people who are either unable or unwilling to check out the facts. How this is done before a room full of people, albeit fellow-travelers, without bursting into guffaws of giggles is always beyond me. To suggest that Obama is engaging in class warfare and engendering envy, fear, and resentment is to simply restate the manifesto that is the TeaParty.  I mean one always figures that back stage there are some winks, smirks, and light rib jabs, at how wonderfully  “this will play to our ‘grass-roots’  minions.”

What becomes frightening, is the very thought that Ryan actually believes the stuff he spouts. If he does, then it shows a man who indeed has no common cause with Americans in general, but only with those who have proven themselves worthy of concern–the  “Creators” of wealth, the rich. All others, are in Rand’s words, mere fodder to fuel the engine, in other words, the takers.

** Many of these links originate from Constant Comments, written by Constant Weader. If you haven’t been there yet, please do go. He does what I do but in much greater breadth.

***What’s on the stove? A new creation. I call it Fusion Chicken and Corn Chowder. Check it out. Up no later than tomorrow.

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The Lessons of October

Tags

baseball, Humor, World Series

“Mr. October” ~ Reggie Jackson WS1977

We’ve been watching the World Series.

As I’ve pointed out on previous occasions, I’m not a huge baseball fan.

I know relatively more about say, football, basketball, hockey, among the big four.

I have excellent knowledge of tennis and volleyball. I get badmitton and table tennis. I know horseshoes and croquet. I get soccer mostly.

Handball and cricket not so much.

So I can make comparisons with some degree of authority.

I used to watch more baseball when I was young. It was often all that was on back in prehistoric television. Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. Baseball makes failure acceptable. Who else could be paid millions of dollars for failing two-thirds of the time? In rough economic times, it’s nice to know that some folks are raking in the dough by essentially doing badly MOST of the time.
2. There is essentially no dress code in baseball even for the players. “Being you” is encouraged. Other than the basic jersey, pretty much anything goes. Short pants or long, undershirts with long or short sleeves or not, all manner of jewelry, from braided rope (have no idea what that is about) to the obligatory bling of rope chains can be seen.
3. Tattoos are de rigueur. Earings not so much.
4. Back in the day, players didn’t wear gloves (other than the required baseball GLOVE which now comes in all manner of colors by the way to make a complete fashion accessory). Now, no self-respecting batter will approach the plate without a pair. In my day, as the batter awaited the pitcher’s delivery, he stopped to pull at his shoulder material, and give an obligatory pat to his crotch. Nowadays, it’s all about pulling  loose the velcro straps of the gloves and readjusting them. After every pitch, they need this readjustment. Crotches, once the center of attraction, have mostly been forgotten.
5. Spitting is still required. Now this has always been a puzzlement. Nobody else spits a lot in sports. Only in baseball. In fact, nobody else in sports chews tobacky, a thoroughly disgusting thing in the first place. But a lot of them chew gum. We know not why. But apparently baseball causes abnormal creation of saliva and this must be expectorated. All for the cameras to catch on our new 62″ screens. Or it maybe a genetic thing that men have the urge to spit on dirt. I just don’t know.
6. Baseball shares with football the fact that fans have an insane desire to look stupid before cameras. They dress up in all manner of get-ups to support their team. I saw a pair of “hotdogs” the other night. It wouldn’t be so bad, but surely you know they did not dress in the stands. No, they actually exited their home in somebody’s neighborhood, got in a vehicle and proceeded to scare the dickens out of other drivers along the freeway.  I don’t know about you, but I’d keep my kids off the street if I saw my neighbor walking around dressed up as a hotdog.
7. I can’t speak for other places, but Texans eat a lot during baseball games. We saw one woman sitting behind home plate, virtually eat for the entire game. I would recommend eating at home. And while we are on the subject, you folks behind home plate? You guys get lots of face time on the tube. Your mugs are broadcast all over the US of A, and in some other parts of the world. It may be acceptable to place you finger in your nose in Austria, but in the US, it’s considered, well, NOT the thing to do. Best to just sit on your hands.
8. Texans pray a lot during baseball games. Hands are often seen in a prayerful position, especially right before an important pitch. It appears that Texans think God cares. He doesn’t.
9. During my day, hard hats for batters was just coming into fashion. When the batter got a hit, his hat always fell off as he ran around the bases. Now, I note, it does not. I don’t know why that is.
10. All manner of players and coaches still engage in bizarre “signals” which require patting one’s head, touching one’s nose, pulling at the jersey, making figure eights around one’s stomach, standing on one foot, and flapping one’s arms. I saw a third baseman engage in  a prolonged “signal” right before another of those important pitches, and then when the expected thing happened, nobody did what he signaled them to do. I’d rethink that whole thing. (They have little ear receivers now guys)
11. Baseball players continue to make mistakes, and for this they still get millions of dollars. There are at least two errors per game in this World Series, and these are supposed to be the BEST players. This game must be a good deal harder than it looks.
12. Speaking of errors. In football, when a player makes an error, the referee turns on his mike and announces to the entire stadium who the culprit was. In baseball, it’s pretty much obvious to everyone. Baseball is kinder in that sense.
13. Speaking of errors. The refs make them too. Except in baseball, nobody corrects them. In most sports now they use sensors or replays and correct errors. Here they don’t. Even when they are agregious. Even when they change who wins or loses. Even when it makes a difference in the record books. I don’t know why this is so either.
14. Laura Bush was on camera a lot. Laura is funny. She’s a bit like Pat Nixon used to be. Pat Nixon always looked like a woman who had no clue where she was, and frankly she looked long-suffering. Laura doesn’t look like that. Laura looks like she once saw a picture of the Mona Lisa and thought that looking mysterious was sexy. But it only makes you vacant looking. I guess that’s a bit like looking like you don’t have a clue where you are.
15. I feel most sorry for Nolan Ryan’s wife. She doesn’t like baseball.  You can tell.
16. In fact, you can tell which fans like baseball (they have worried faces, and have their hands in prayer a lot), and those who don’t. Those who don’t look vacant a lot like Laura. And they look at other people and things and seldom at “where the action is.”
17. The cameras seldom go to those poor souls relegated to the outfield. Who they are is irrelevant, they are simply right, center and left fields. They are definitely not where the action is. Well, almost never. Sometimes never. They stand around a lot. I’ve always thought they had an under-the-table bit of action going out there with “fans”. Gun running, or cocaine smuggling I figure. Since nobody pays much attention to them. When the coach sends you to the “outfield” you know you are OUT of favor. 

That’s all I’ve learned so far. There is at least a game or two left, so my education may continue. I’ll let ya know.

 

All Out Search Underway to Find Herm Cain’s Brain

Tags

Election 2012, GOP, Herm Cain, teabaggers

Way back in the Paleolithic times, when I took the bar exam, I was stunned to learn one thing: lots of really stupid people managed to pass the bar and become lawyers.

It took me about a half-minute to conclude that if that were true, there were plenty of really stupid doctors out there committing medical malpractice. Same for teachers, mechanics, and no doubt mathematicians.

It stands to reason that contrary to popular assumptions, fairly stupid people can become successful in business. Luck shines on the dolt and the brainiac alike.

So, I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that part of the problem Herm Cain has is that he is frankly a bit dull in the old brain pan. There are other explanations for his adorable “gaffes” that contribute to his propensity to offer up stunningly stupid remarks, but I think the main cause is simple simpletonism.

No doubt Herm, who is quite good at self-promotion, (he had a talk-radio show and writes books about himself) never expected in his wildest of wild imaginations, that he would find himself atop the GOP field–at the moment.

No doubt Herm started all this “run for president” as a means to promote his book and to up his fee as a motivational speaker.

Now Herm finds himself engulfed in a whole series of topics that he has neither thought through, nor knows anything beyond the common phrases that are bounced around in the talking points circuit. His snappy and catchy shucky-jivy statements had worked just fine. They made the media laugh, they were used by the wacko corp to suggest he was “refreshing,” and nobody delved deeper since he stood less of a chance that the proverbial snowball in hell of getting anywhere.

So we get nonsense like his 9-9-9, which many attribute to his having played Sims on the Internet and then telling a hedge-fund accountant to devise a revenue-neutral plan. His “economic plan” was of course shredded by economists and every economic think tank around.

No matter. Herm just claims that all these intellectuals “don’t understand” his plan. “Just go to my website and read it. It’s simple,” he contends. But when even Republicans began to argue that his so-called plan would result in bigger deficits and would punish the poor and middle class while giving a windfall to the rich, well, Herm’s handlers realized that a better answer was needed.

Thus we now have “zones” where the federal 9% income tax won’t apply. Except that you have to nearly sell your first-born to qualify. And then Herm has the temerity to claim that this “sub” plan was there all the time, the bigwig economists were just to lazy to read it.

But of course, that wasn’t true. It was added in the last few days.

Herm’s response to having it pointed out to him that he’s STUPID is to either claim, that we are too stupid to understand him, or that the offending remarks were “a joke.”

Herm was asked mere hours before the Nevada debate about the Israeli-Palestinian prisoner exchange. Wolf Blitzer asked Herm if Al Qaeda, or another terrorist organization were to offer to release a single American soldier in return for all those held at Guantanamo, could he see himself agreeing?

Herm said he “could see himself doing that.”

Herm used to just say that he didn’t know much about foreign policy and leave it at that. He was told that he needed something better. So at the end of every tentative step into foreign policy waters, he always attaches the addendum: “I would of course get all the advice from all my advisers and weigh all the alternatives before making a decision.”  Then he grins. “Ya ain’t gotcha’d the Cain Man!”

When that remark was restated to him by Anderson Cooper at the debates, Herm started to affirm it, until it became quite obvious that “WE DON’T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!”  was echoed by all his fellow wannabes. Then he flipped and repeated that mantra.

“Which is it Herm?” Cooper intoned.

 “Oh that question didn’t involve Al Qaeda. We don’t negotiate with terrorists. He didn’t specify.”

Yeah, he did, Herm.

“Oh, well I must have misunderstood the question, cuz we don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

Moving on.

Herm, what’s your position on abortion?

“I’m pro-life.”

Any exceptions, like in cases of incest or rape? Life of the mother?

“Those are statistically so small as not to really count. No. No exceptions.”

If it were your granddaughter?

“Comparing apples and oranges.” 

How so?

“Just is. The government has no place in this kind of decision.”

But that’s a pro-choice stance.

“Is not.”

But it is.

“I am pro-life. End of story.”

Now ladies and gentlemen, I ask you. What do you make of such inanities? 

I have actually read people defending this crap. “Why he simply means that he is personally against abortion, but realizes that the law is the law. I have no doubt he will try to change it,” they cry in utter befuddlement.

What part of THE GOVERNMENT HAS NO PLACE IN THIS KIND OF DECISION, don’t you get?

What you are left with is simply this. Herm and his followers are members of the same society of radically intellectually challenged Americans. So all of it, the 9-9-9, the terrorist negotiations, and the abortion thing, are just simple to understand if you can’t think much deeper than the average six-year-old.

And to that hopefully small minority, Herm is “refreshingly” honest and forthright.

Let us hope that he appears to be exactly what he is to most Americans. Stunningly unqualified (talkin’ Dan Quayle here folks) to be even considered as Presidential material.

**by the by. According to one pollster, the most telling and clear indicator that one is a “Tea Party” follower is how one answers the following question:

Do you believe that the United States government spends too much money on programs for black people?

Those are you peeps Herm. Gotta love that. 

Related articles

• Cold Pizza from Herm Cain (opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com)

Well, Laugh For Goodness Sake!

Tags

animal humor, Humor, political humor, religious humor

It’s a really nice day outside.

From LOL God

 The sun is shining.

There are still leaves on the trees.

So far, not a snowflake has fallen.

So I figured. . .

Today we would just laugh.

 

 

This is so close to being true, it’s funny.

Or not.

Or a little.

Pet a dog, scratch behind a cat’s ears.

Bake a pie.

Take a walk.

 

Or smell the roses. If there are any left.

Eat left-overs cuz who want’s to cook on a Saturday.

Watch college football.

Walk through crunchy leaves.

Smile at a stranger.

Don’t even think about how blessedly awful the GOP field is.

 

Remember the good old days, when you had no idea that so much of the American electorate was simply ignorant enough to qualify for “special ed” classes.

Laugh.

Because crying doesn’t get you anything but puffy eyes.

Imagine how lousy life would be if we couldn’t daydream.

But we can.

So do that now.

 

And just remember.

This guy ain’t in charge any more.

That’s worth a smile.

That’s worth about a thousand smiles.

Focus.

The Contrarian is already ready for Packer football.

Tomorrow.

He may sleep in his clothes tonight.

Did I mention?

That it amounts to animal abuse

To dress an animal up like this?

I been told that.

By every dog I asked.

Don’t do this.

 

Now you have a spectacular day and we’ll get back to fixin’ the world on Monday.