14 | July | 2011 | Existential Ennui

Tags

budget, debt ceiling, economy, Eric Cantor, GOP, hall of shame, Louis Gohmert, Michele Bachmann, political hacks, Steve King, teabaggers

Well, it’s been an interesting time of it since Mitch “the Turtle” McConnell offered up his “we wash our hands of this mess” alternative to a deal on the debt ceiling.

The hard right is wailing, and the usual bunch of nuts are pushing each other off the microphone, eager to spew their own idiocy before an increasingly irritated public.

Boehner lost his swagger as Speaker, and now stands mute and castrated behind boy wonder and all-around poop, Eric Cantor. Eric has seen that his only real path to the Speakership is over the dead body of Boehner and as champion of the TeaPeople, sliced and diced to anyone who would listen at the last White House meeting.

Finally President Obama reminded the little shit just who was President.

Now, people who only play the part of a journalist (moi) have been increasingly angry with the President over his handling of this budget deal. I’ve been fearful that he was giving away too much, especially as it relates to Medicare and Social Security. These are things I have paid my dues into and as I approach 62, they are becoming increasingly dear to my heart. Yet once again, as the Contrarian says, Obama proves to be playing chess against opponents who are playing checkers.

One blogger was wont to say that Obama and his team are either political geniuses, or the luckiest sons-a-gun on earth. They managed to say the right words, the GOP took the bait, and now they are firmly in a corner from which they cannot extricate themselves.

You gotta conclude that the President and the Democrats are in full control now when you see who is screeching from the right. Eric Cantor of course is now front and center. Trouble is, everyone knows he and Boehner don’t exactly get along, and everyone knows Eric wants Boehner’s job. So his credibility is like in negative numbers when it comes to trusting his motives in all this.

Next we find Sarah “do you still love me?” Palin. The Palinator, whose understanding of economics should fill up the label of a Valium vial, weighed in, explaining to Sean “the finger” Hannity, that Obama is holding the “full faith and credit” of the US of A hostage. Course she has not a clue of what she just said in that, having no concept of what the phrase full faith and credit means.

In words that send a thrill up the nether regions of her minions, the TeaPeople, she advised GOP leadership to “not retreat, but reload.” Trying desperately to recapture her fading relevance, Wasilla Woman mewed that she didn’t even under stand Mitch’s latest capitulatory offer. (No surprise there.) In addition, she opined that she didn’t “necessarily believe” that a default on August 2 would be catastrophic for the country. What she does “necessarily believe” was, of course, not forthcoming.

Meanwhile, the Larry, Moe and Curlycue show was going on elsewhere. If you can imagine a more hilarious threesome than Louis (Gomer without the brains) Gohmert, Steven (I have 732 anti-Obamacare bills pending) King, and Michele (pray the gay away) Bachmann, well I’m not sure who they would be.

These buffoons introduced a bill that would require (if anybody bothers to read their crayon on construction paper bill) that armed-service personnel be paid first if we go into default. All for show of course. Again, Michele also exited reality and said the President was “holding the full faith and credit of the US hostage”.

She continues to claim that the President is lying about any catastrophe. Showing her math skills, she explains that although our obligations per month total over 300 billion, and our revenue is only about 125 billion, we “can pay all our bills from revenue.”

Steve King (of clowns) went on Chris Matthews and ‘splained that he gets his knowledge that there is no default problem from “the American people” and then puffed up and touted his own “independent judgment.” Chris pressed on, and King graciously added, his expertise on all matters economic came from “a long experience of dealing politically, and in business, and raising a family, and being an American citizen…”

Being suitably impressed with that Chris asked if King Dong read the Wall Street Journal or the NYTimes? King said, he did occasionally, but “I don’t trust the words of any source.”

Steve, who vies next month against an orangutan named Nelly, for the world stupidity championship, was asked finally whether he could name one international expert who agreed with him. Steve, swelled up with superiority, and crowed, “this is not an international problem, it’s an American one!”

Louis (Larry Stooge) mostly stood in the background trying to decide when all this money talk was done what he would have for lunch. (American cheese on my burger or Swiss? Ahh, American, it looks much more patriotic).

Mr. Gohmert (Gomer Pyle without the voice), cautioned Mr. Boehner not to listen to that Obamer fella, and then mumbled, “just copy what lovely Michele said, as what I say too.”

That, ladies and gents, is an example of the big guns of intellectual stature batting for the GOP. I mean, they must be so proud.

Meanwhile average Republicans were asked to comment. To a person the same response: “Louis? Sarah? Michele? Steve? I never knew them. And the cock crowed a third time.