Defining My Sanity

Once or twice, one or two of you has had occasion to question my television viewing habits. In a word, you thought my choice of show to be beneath someone of my caliber. My caliber being whatever it is, I have felt the pointed barbs of your dismay and licked my wounds in silence, rather than defend myself.

But there is a method to my madness, or lack of selectivity as the case may be.

You see, there are few economical ways of determining one’s own hold on sanity. I mean to be sure, one must engage a professional, and be tested and questions, and such folks don’t come cheaply. I have found my own solution, and since I think that one’s sanity is subject to ebb and flow, I can test fairly regularly at no cost to myself.

While seeing the childish “stuck in nerddom” of the funny folks at the Big Bang Theory is not reality, I recognize that there are indeed some folks who do dress up in outlandish costumes and join other like-minded crazies at “Star Trek” conventions and similar functions.

You and I of course, would call such people strange at the very least, and certifiable on occasion. I can just that I am quite sane by the fact that I have no interest whatsoever in dressing up as Lieutenant Uhura and practicing my “yes Captain” around a mockup of the Enterprise bridge.

Yesterday, I was walloped with two instances that proved once again rather conclusively that I am in full command of my faculties, thank you very much.

Stephen Colbert had a “spor repor” spot on his show in which he reviewed the fine art of canoe paddling. Yes, you heard that right. People actually compete in a canoe with one paddle, and swirl and dip to music as they try to show artistic command of the boat and the water. They have somehow developed “judges” for this nonsense, and winners are declared who then go forth to participate in “international” meets.

Makes my watching of Big Brother look awfully intellectual by comparison. At least on that, I can compare the relative maturity of various people who are scrambling to lie and cheat their way to a monetary prize of some value.

In case you didn’t know, most of the usual shows on TV are on hiatus, so it’s hard to find anything good. We watch a lot of movies, some good, some not so good. We watched “Wrestler” the other night, the one with comeback star Mickey Rourke. He was nominated for a best actor. We figured it would be good. It was simply utterly depressing from top to bottom. It did confirm my worst beliefs about “pro” wrestling however.

We watched a show called Taboo. You know what you are getting when you watch a show like that. titillating nonsense about people doing things other people consider “off the wall.” Try a woman who has “fallen in love” with the Berlin Wall. I mean she really means it. She lays against it, caresses it, kisses it, and spent a night with “him” in one of the watchtowers. She considers herself normal.

I don’t. I consider her nuts. The fact that she can find other objectum-sexuals online serves only to prolong her illness and puts off her recognition that she needs help! Ditto the guy who loves his cars.

If you peruse these types of shows, just occasionally, you realize one of two things: you are squeaky normal, and the human race is in the end doomed. You see, these screwy types used to live in isolation, knowing they were freakin’ nuts. Finally, at least some of them sought treatment, were cured and returned to functional members of the human race with reasonable interpersonal relationships.

Not so today. These sad brain-sorted individuals have access to the Internet, and there they find others of their ilk. It’s oh so easy to feel normal when your new friend Jill advises you that she never goes to bed without her hairdryer by her side. It makes you’re bed-partner, a hand mixer appear quite normal.

And seriously, those whose sexual proclivities tend toward the exploitation of other humans also find their like-minded sickos online and confirm to themselves, that all is well in their left hemisphere as well. And that is not only not helpful to their treatment and recovery, but poses serious danger to the public, especially the objects of their desire.

So all in all, I guess it’s really sad that I can find my sanity by comparing myself to those who are loco in la cabasa. But I just wanted you to know that there is a reasonable explanation for my choices sometimes.

You may now return to more informing reading. 🙂