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Okay, so everybody knows that men have two heads. Unfortunately, both don’t reside between their shoulder blades. And therein lies the rub. (Use all the innuendoes you wish here and throughout)

We are told that men think about sex about every ten seconds or so. Most women don’t really believe that to be true, since it seems insane. I mean, if you are pumping out a septic tank dude, are you really thinking about hot sex?

Well, it appears there must be more truth to the claim than we have been willing to admit, for men acting badly is reaching epic proportions

As I said, this is nothing all that new. From King David in the bible, through Julius Caesar and Marc Antony’s inability to ignore the pleasures of Cleopatra, we have a history of men being guided by Charlie jumping in their pants more than logic emanating from the head upon their shoulders.

We have the Profumo Affair, the Kennedy men and their numerous paramours, to Ike and Roosevelt having women not their wives making the flagpole wave.

But really, the evidence is getting awfully darn clear. Men, in the throes of lust lose all sense of common reckoning ability. They become stupid in a word. Again and again we see the tawdry facts laid before us in nauseating detail.

Pastors from the pulpit cry and admit to affairs with all manner of men and women. Politicians stand in shame, admitting that they “exercised poor judgment.”

Now I am the first to admit, that for the most part, I care little if at all about other people’s sex lives. Except for some obvious exceptions, do what you wish with whom you wish.

But I draw the line when your behavior indicates that you cannot THINK STRAIGHT. Especially when you are purporting to govern me and interfere with my pursuit of happiness.

So far we have seen the following:

  • A man who thinks that it would be utterly unthinkable that police might be lying in wait around public bathrooms awaiting his wide-stance cue.
  • Numerous men who believe that prostitutes, masseuses, and other pay-to-play rentees are paragons of discretion whom one need never worry about spilling their guts and cell phones to the public media.
  • Men who think they can exploit young interns and pages who are starry-eyed to begin with, and not a one will whisper about the naughty goings-on to their friends.
  • Men who think that UNKNOWN STRANGERS can be trusted to never divulge their dirty phone conversations, tape them, or save the sexy photos sent via social media.
  • Men who are just absolutely certain that lust-produced children will not at SOME point appear to meet “daddy”.
  • Men who think that it is okay for them to ignore their wives who are suffering from cancer, MS, or recovering from devastating car accidents while following Mad Willie to new beds. Certainly the public will understand their high power needs come first.

All of this suggests to me, that men, who admittedly think about sex so much of their day, cannot be trusted any longer with the work of the nation. Because they become STOOOPID when the head in their pants takes over. And frankly I don’t think we can afford that much stoopid in our government.

I don’t just distrust you in your decision-making abilities mind you. I am damn pissed at the fact that you cause a diversion that we can ill afford these days. You provide ammunition to the other side. You provide credibility to otherwise piss-yellow journalists who should be utterly ignored.

You are all just screw-ups of the worst sort. And I’m tired of it. And tired of all of you. Go home, and sit in your study with a pile of Penthouses and scores of internet porn, and leave the governing to those who apparently can manage to think about something other than boobs and butts all day long.

Men have a place in the world. We need a certain number as breeding stock obviously. They are cute sometimes, and make good companions. They often are great cooks, and they fix stuff around the house. The can be taught to clean adequately. They have no further place in government, of that I am sure.

** The Contrarian claims that this rant is only because I am suffering from a summer cold that HE GAVE ME. That is not true. 🙂