Existential Ennui

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Daily Archives: March 7, 2011

Once Upon a Time

07 Monday Mar 2011

Posted by Sherry in Editorials, GOP, Literature, Satire, teabaggers, Voting

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

America, editorial, GOP, Politics, right wing religious

Once upon a time there was a bunch of strange aliens who lived on Earth, specifically in a land called America. They kept to themselves because of the way they interpreted a very old collection of writings.

One day, one of their leaders got to talking with a group of men from another group, called Reduplicans, and decided to hitch his group’s wagon to them.

The aliens had very strict ideas of what was moral. They wanted to be elected to make everyone conform to their ideas, but the people of this place called America, didn’t think that a very good idea.

They liked the idea that people should make up their own minds about personal things like what to do with their bodies, and other similar things. So they wouldn’t elect these  moralies aliens.

Then the moralies aliens got an idea. What if they stopped talking about how they were going to force everyone to live as they believed, and instead ran for local offices like the school boards and city councils? They wouldn’t tell any of the voters what their real agenda was, and once elected, they would, as majorities, change the local schools and governments to suit their personal believes.

And lo and behold, they started to have success!

The Reduplican group still tried to curry the favor of these moralies by making lots of promises to promote their beliefs, but mostly all it was was lip service. They had their own not so hidden agenda, and that was to support the richest and prettiest people in the land of America because those aliens (and they were just as much aliens as the moralistic ones) promised to throw crumbs to the Reduplican group, such as trips and fat jobs when they retired from this Washington place.

Well, when in control of things, the Reduplicans did bad things. They sent a lot of people off with guns to kill other people, but a lot of them got killed. The people who did the sending didn’t send their children to these places of course, and the voters got mad. There seemed no reason for this.

While interfering with other places on the blue planet (for that is what it was), they kept giving away all the money to the rich aliens. So much so in fact, that the regular people started to be terribly poor. And they got mad and voted out the Reduplicans.

The Reduplicans were very sad. The richie rich aliens were very mad at this turn of events. They engaged in a long campaign to convince a lot of the working people (some of whom were the moralies aliens, and some who were working class) that the real trouble was with bunches of other people who didn’t look like them. They had skins of “color” being brown, and yellow and black. And some had different ideas they got from different old books.

Anyway, these new cuppers aliens started raising a stink, because they were afraid now. They blamed everything on something called conspiracies, and all manner of people were involved, trying to destroy the land of America.

But these cuppers, some of whom were as I said, the original moralies, were scary themselves, and for the most part, except in small areas of the land of America, they were rejected. And the Reduplicans worried that they would never get their power back.

Then they remembered the trick the original moralies had played. They concentrated on getting elected to local state governments. And once they had secured majorities in the land of America, they started their devious ways.

Although they had campaigned to the people on creating jobs and fixing what ailed the land of America, they turned instead to wasting all the monies of the voters on things like destroying unions, enacting state gun laws that let more of their moralies and working poor carry weapons, making women look at pictures of the fetuses they felt they could not raise, outlawing laws of other places that had never been used in the land of America. Everywhere, their secret membership was busy introducing laws to make it harder for other people who didn’t like them to even vote.

They discovered that if their message wasn’t pleasing to the people of the land, then they would just reduce, by union busting and voter law restrictions measures, the ability of those opposed to them to have a voice. That is what they called “democracy.” For they were strict constructionists of a thing called a Constitution.

Unfortunately, most of the people of the land were busy just keeping their heads above water by this point, and they didn’t have much time to devote to keeping up on things in the land. And they are in very serious trouble, though they don’t know it.

If the good people of the land of America don’t wake up soon, and stand up against these aliens, all of them, then the wonder of the land of America will be lost, and the people will end up being ruled by the richie rich, while their daily lives will be regulated by the moralies. And the great experiment will be over.

THE END

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