28 | December | 2010 | Existential Ennui

Tags

bible, blizzard, DADT, fundamentalists, gay rights, God, Humor, KJV, Pat Robertson, Poetry, spirituality, virtual church

If your mother was anything like mine, complaints about dinner were met with “the little children in China would be happy to have carrots to eat.” If I groused that I didn’t get the one toy I wanted for my birthday, I was told, “the little children of Africa have probably never gotten a toy.”

So, sadly, and with great grumpiness, I can’t complain about the snow here in Iowa. The stupid East Coast just had to go and have a BLIZZARD. How rude! Coupled with the deluges in California and consequent mudslides, I’m unable to feel the least bit sorry for myself.

And that never sits well with me!

Being able to complain is just, well, so American.

But, I’ve taken an oath of sorts to try to listen to my better angel, at least until the new year. It’s just that there isn’t so much good news as you would think out there. We’re a surly bunch, and we like news that at minimum makes us feel better relative to our fellow humans. That’s just the way we are. How else to explain the likes of Cops on Patrol, and Bridezilla, and Hoarders?

Anyway, if you want to feel uplifted and also called into your better self, do go and read this lovely poem from the Franciscan Missionary Society–Christmas Blessing. H/T from Vox Nova.

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Speaking of faith, it’s puzzling, and always has been that fundigelicals prefer the KJV (King James Version) of the bible. They cling to it as THE definitive word of God. I’ve never been quite sure why, since it’s basically not a very good translation, and the language, though beautiful isn’t also easy to understand.

History Today has a great article on the history of the KJV. If fundigelicals actually knew this history, I suspect they might be a bit less enthused about it. It was directed, in some sense, to be a polemic for the right of kings, and thus against the interests of the Puritans who were a bothersome lot in England and elsewhere. The only reason why the Puritans in this country ended up using it, was because the Geneva Bible had been suppressed in England and the KJV was the only one they could get their hands on. Worse, the first printings of the KJV were so bad that they were almost heretical–referring to God’s ass at least one occasion!

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I’ve linked to Andy Borowitz before. His political humor is great. Today he explains what Pat Robertson has to say about the East Coast blizzard. As you can expect, God is punishing somebody that Pat doesn’t like. Go read it and have a chuckle.

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Speaking of political humor, Mo over at Whatever Works, offered this gem. It’s a site called Political Irony. Lots of jokes, cartoons, a rundown of the talk show political humor. Just lots of fun stuff. I’m sure I’ll be pilfering from it regularly. Add it to your reader or subscribe to never miss a post!

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Speaking of more political humor, I saw this in my travels yesterday:

Of course it hurts. You’re being screwed by an elephant.

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Do you have a ritual for Christmas that you never miss? We watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, you know, Clark and his merry band of Griswolds? We laugh at the same things again and again. It’s a tradition. By the way, the ham was delicious and we can’t stop eating ham sandwiches! Today we are switching to turkey enchiladas, which finishes off the Thanksgiving turkey. And NO it hasn’t been the fridge since November!

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We are getting three days of melting starting tomorrow! We are so excited. We can’t keep the smile off our faces. We may actually be able to get out without being blown out! Temps of 35, 40, 45 for the next three days! Heaven! Oh and rain too. Then freezing, so no doubt it will be slick as snot on Saturday or Sunday. We looked up our snow cleats for our boots! We are ready!

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This is a laugh. I mean, it really is funny/sad/pathetic/hysterically knee-slapping humorous.

Brian Fischer of the AFA, the homophobic “family values” group (one of thousands) wrote a “gotcha” column the other day.

“You dumb old gays! You had a pass to get out the army, should the food prove not gourmet, or the shower room not to have the hunks to ogle. You could go to the commander and announce your gayness. Well, no more,” Fischer gleefully slobbers, spittle flying, his wild eyes darting. “No, your commander will say, ‘sorry Nancy boy’ back to barracks for you! Those days of special preference are over. You’re in the for the duration.”

Yes Margaret, there really is a crazy man who said that. I swear. Makes you blink and look around carefully. Once again, you fear, you might have slipped into the Twilight Zone.

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Ideas that Create has a post on virtual churches. Can they offer anything “real”? It’s a provocative look at an Internet phenomenon. See what you think.

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Finding all those retrospectives creepy? Especially the ones that tell you who died this year. I forgot some of them and was shocked all over again.

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Keep warm!