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Bedtime story for Adults:

Once upon a time, in a universe in another whole dimension, there lived a woman (a human female) and she resided on a planet called, oddly enough, Earth.

Now upon the Earth, she lived on a continent some referred to as the City on the Hill, meaning that the God of that particular universe, having created the whole thing, chose for His/Her own reasons to specially favor the inhabitants who lived upon its terra firma.

The woman, lived in the state of Michigan, which was some bastardization of a Huron native people’s word, which is all too boring to relate right now. When she was in her second decade or maybe it was still her first, or her third–she’s gettin’ old and memories aren’t what they used to be.

Any-the-way, she had a governor, meaning not that she birthed one, but that one existed as the highest officer of her state. His name was Romney. Not a Mitt, since he was not catcher, but a George, who would birth a Mitt, who would also be a governor, but of another state.  Confused? Don’t be.

There came a time in the century known as the twentieth, as humans reckoned time in those days, when George decided that he wanted to climb to a higher office, or lesser, depending on how statey righty you are. So he threw his hat in the ring, which was a good thing, since he had “good hair” like his son. (You may want to check, for this may be an attribute of a religion called Mormonism–a thoroughly interesting religion, but again we digress.)

Now, at the time of this running to be the new POTUS, there was a war and it was called Vietnam. There was no particular reason for the land of US to be there, but it had something to do with the game of dominos as I recall. Mr. Romney had gone there to talk to the generals in charge about what the “hell was goin’ on.”

He got himself into a flip-floppy sit-chi-ation, where he was for the war before he was agin’ it. You remember this from a guy named  Kerry, who was also in this Vietnam war, but it had nothing to do with his alleged flippy flop.

To make a long story short-er, George (not Dubya who did not serve in any war) but Romney, said that the reason why he changed his mind about the goodliness of the war was because he was brainwashed by those military sorts in Vietnam.

Now this, was received with horror. George was susceptible, according to the press, his opponent (a dude named Tricky Dick, not to be confused with Dick “the Dick” Cheney, though there are plenty enough dicks in the GOP I’d reckon), and even the public, to being snookered by just about anybody, and it wasn’t safe to put the country in his hands.

So George, surely meant that he had been mislead by lying conniving military warriors who wanted the war continued, because that’s what they DO after all, but couldn’t get out from under the cloud that he was a childish dupe. So he withdrew.

Fast forward many decades until we have turned the heavy page to another whole century. People are still running to run things in the country of A-Mer-Ik-a, and they are puttin’ their foots in their mouths at the same general rate as before.

You hear things like this:

  • A silly gal by the name of Sarah (where’s the money?) Palin who said she could see Russia from her front porch, and of course she couldn’t and that’s not a very good explanation of foreign affairs knowledge anyway.
  • A crazy loon called Tom (I like mammies) Tancredo said that we should return to “literacy tests” just like in the good old Jim Crow days.
  • A lady who lives in Nevada of all places, name of Sharron Angle said that Latinos looked an awful lot like Asians, even some of the Latino kids right in that classroom might be secret Asians for all she knew (come here to resume the Vietnam war no doubt).
  • A dude called Buck in Colorado said that homosexuality was like alcoholism, sorta, but mainly being gay was the choice to love a dude rather than a lady–see? you CHOOSE.
  • Plenty of these candidates, all runnin’ under a banner, mostly of teabaggery, claim that the earth is flat and was created by God in six days, and they ask  to preside over science and technology in our country.
  • But the best is the  lastest of them all.

A crazy lady who can’t manage her own finances and lies about most everything, and is also a creationist, who dabbled in witchcraft, and talks to the “I can see Russia from my porch” lady, has in public, while being recorded, with a microphone in front of here, and in response to a question, asked a question.

I didn’t bring my constitution with me today. Can you tell me exactly where in the  Constitution you find “separation of church and state?”

She did this in all honesty, with wide-opened doe eyes. She has nary a clue. Nope. And it’s all over the air today, everyone was talking and laughing about how stupid and unqualified she is.

And her opponent, a sharp tack called Coons, gently told her that it was in the 1st Amendment, to which she replied:

You’re telling me that’s in the First Amendment?”

But don’t expect her to quit the race, cuz none of the others have. You see, the people who support these nut jobs are even stupidier than they are, and don’t care. So once upon a time, a single word could doom a candidate, but today–hundreds of gaffes are treated as makin’ a candidate “REAL” folk like us.

So take another good slug of that Vodka my friend, and lay your weary head to rest, and remember the moral to this story:

Evolution may be true, but not every mutation moves forward the human race.

OR:

Alien travelers may wish to erect a warming buoy: Avoid: Still SToopid Here!

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